So Happy Together

It has been a wonderful week visiting with the extended Fidero family! It is so wonderful to hear the laughter and noise in my home once again. Paul had a really down day on Friday and I was thinking he would not be able to participate in the activities with family downstairs. On Saturday morning, the sun was filtering through the sheer curtains at sunrise and I laid there praying that Paul would be able to be free of his pain so he could have some fun also. His cousins were so excited to see him again. When they arrived late Friday night, Paul was already asleep and I was really hopeful that he would be able to come down and enjoy their company early Saturday.

We woke him up and got him breakfast and our day began. Paul held up much better than he had in the last few weeks and he stayed downstairs as much as he could. He had to use an earplug to dampen the sounds of our voices. He is very sensitive to sound and light at this point. In speaking to Ray, who works with Hydrocephalus Association, he said he also suffered this sensitivity problem and after a a couple of years, it has lessoned a great deal. So there is hope that this will not be a life long problem! After everyone arrived, Paul had to take one of his daily walks. Everyone walked down the street with him. It was such an incredibly joyous sight for me, as he was surrounded by people who love him so much. There have been a number of walks down the street with his cousins, aunts and brothers and dog this weekend. Everyone has remained very patient with Paul, taking time to listen carefully as he speaks and to repeat themselves when he doesn't hear them, which is due to his wearing his earplug to dampen the noise of so many conversations going on at once! When it is time to walk, almost everyone gets up and accompanies Paul. I was thinking about what Paul's cousins will tell their friends when they get back to California and are asked what they did while in Atlanta..............."we walked down the street with our cousin a bunch of times". Unexciting to be sure, but a wonderful sight for this mother's eyes!

Paul has put out more effort in these last few days than he has in weeks and I am very encouraged by his wanting to be part of the acitivity. He kept going back upstairs the first day to get the quiet he needed in between visiting with family. On Sunday, he stayed downstairs a lot more and just stayed on the couch to get the relief from his headaches. His friend Brendan rode over on his bike. He had on his biking shorts and shirt and when he came into the room to say hi to Paul, the first thing Paul said to him was "I see you have on your church clothes." Paul has been pretty witty these last few days and is enjoying being with the family. I was afraid he would not come downstairs much due to his head hurting, or the chaos would tire him quickly. He has hung in there so much better than I had hoped. His brother Jon is a terrific motivator and Paul does just about anything Jon asks him to do. On Sunday at Mass, Paul was next to Jon after they received Communion. As they were kneeling there, Paul put his arm around Jon and finished his prayers. As we stood to sing the closing song, Paul picked up the book and found the song. He then put his arm around Jon's shoulder again and he held his book and actually sang along like Jon. This is the first time Paul has picked up the book, or sung any of the songs. I tapped Jon (husband) on the arm to look at the boys and he and I stood there with tears in our eyes as we looked at our dear sons. After Mass, Jon (son) and Marie took Paul home and Mike, Jon and I got to stay and visit with friends for about 30 minutes. It was a very relaxed time for us.

My sisters in law (Marilee, Christine and Debi) have all taken turns cooking and cleaning for our family. In fact, our laundry is completely caught up, the house is dusted and vacuumed and before everyone left Monday night, Debi cleaned the kitchen and washed my kitchen floor. I made the huge mistake of putting in white tile as flooring in the kitchen (it was supposed to help make the kitchen look bigger............the only thing accomplished was that every foot print, spill and dog paw marks can be seen clearly every day!) and Marilee has been kept very busy wiping up the floor since she has arrived! We have had delicious meals cooked, the dishes done immediately after eating and laundry done each day since these sweet and wonderful women have come into my home. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Kelly (Paul's cousins) have taken the time to make sure to include Paul in their conversations and have shown such love and support of him. He has really perked up since they have all come to our home! I didn't realize how tired I was until all this help came in my front door. I have slept very soundly each night and have gotten so much rest.

Yesterday, everyone headed into Atlanta to see a bit of the city they came to visit. They have earned a day off! Paul and I have had a very good day too. Paul has eaten a lot of food and has taken his walk. He has played the piano for a long time and has read to me. He was reading the magazine from Ave Maria University and after he read the article about how the building of the new campus is coming along, he put the magazine down and said he wanted to pray about what God wants him to do and what he should major in. He said he thinks he would like to go to Ave Maria. I said he should be able to be there in Jim's senior year and when Mike went as a Freshmen. Three Fidero's at Ave Maria - that would be awesome. He asked why he would not be going until next year. I said that it was probably too late to register now and that it was already mid July. He said that he thought he would be going back to school this next semester! I asked if he thought he could handle it and he said he had hoped to take a class or two. He just needed to think about what he will major in since he can't play his guitar very well anymore. I asked why not and he said because he has tried and he is very weak. I told him that if that is the only problem he could work on strengthening excercises and should be able to get back to playing like he used. He said he is really not sure that is the direction he wants to follow. I was glad to know he is thinking about his future and getting back to school. There is so much that has to be accomplished before he can go back, but my highest hope is for him to be able to attend school by next Spring semester.

Later, Paul came and got me and asked me to follow him. He walked into the front room and stood before the crucifix and the Blessed Mary statute. He prayed for his healing and also to be forgiven of his sins. He said that he knew he had sinned in the past and would surely sin again, but he asked Jesus to help him sin a lot less. As he finished praying about a lot of things, my cell phone rang. It was the woman I had talked to last week at the Neurological Institute of Savannah and Dr. Thompson was going to accept Paul as a patient! I had been told last week that if they did take Paul as a new patient, they would not be able to see him for at least a month. Thankfully, they will not make him wait that long, and in fact will see him August 1st. Another blessing is that the doctor who will see him is a pediatric neurologist and that is what we have wanted all along because pediatric neurosurgeons have a lot more experience with shunts since 80% of the cases of hydrocephalus are children. When I got off the phone I told Paul who it was and I was crying as I was telling him. Paul hugged me and then asked God to help him and then he said he was so sorry that he had caused his mother to cry all those times since the accident. I told him most of my tears were from watching his progress and were tears of joy. I told him that he did not ever need to apologize to me for any of the tears I have shed because I have grown so much spiritually in these past 8 months. That is not a very long time when I think of the suffering of thousands of others who suffer far worse things than our family. Our 'cross' has been custom built by God! St. Symeon (1022 AD) wrote, " Therefore if you wish to attain that which you strive for and long after, that is, the good things of God, and from among men become an angel on earth, you must love bodily affliction and embrace suffering. As for trials, love them as the means of obtaining every blessing. Tell me, what is more beautiful than a soul undergoing tribulation, which knows that by enduring it will inherit joy in all things? What is more courageous than "a humble and contrite heart" (Ps 51:19)? Without difficulty it routs the massed troops of devils and pursues them to their end. What is more glorious than spiritual poverty, which is the means of obtaining the kingdom of heaven (Mt5:3)? Think of God's unutterable power, His immeasurable mercy, His inconceivable riches, which He generously and bountifully gives to men. These will suffice them in place of all things, as they receive into themselves Him who is the Cause and the Bestower of all blessing." As I read this writing from my prayer book, it caused me to remember that from the birth of my sons, I have prayed to Mary, Mother of God, that above all else I needed her prayers joined with mine, to help my sons be holy men some day. That is all I hoped for in their lives. I also prayed that I could learn to love Jesus as she loved Him, which was far greater than I could even love my own children. It has only been in these last 8 months that I believe I have come to even begin to understand how to love Jesus more humbly and purely. Praise be to God for this beginning (and blessing) in my life and in my family's life.

I started to write the blog so that I could quickly share this good news when Paul came into the room and asked what we could do next. I said that we could drive to church to thank God for the hope provided with the news of the new doctor. I realized earlier that the day of Paul's appointment was on the feast of St. Alphonsus Ligouri. I remembered immediately that Ligouri Publications published the booklet for the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. When I was a young girl, our family used to go to the Devotions to Our Mother of Perpetual Help every Tuesday night. My mother continues to this day to pray these prayers every Tuesday for her children and grandchildren. The picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help was always prominently displayed in our home as we were growing up. The original icon is displayed in St. Alphonsus church in Rome. Our pastor at St. Stephen's, Fr. Paddy, has this icon displayed at the front of our church and we have lit the candles in front of it for special intentions ever since the church was built. I think I have even included a picture of Jon and Paul lighting a candle there a few months ago. On Monday nights, Fr. Paddy or one of the deacons lead the Devotion to Our Mother of Perpetual help while there is exposition of the Eucharist. I told Paul that we would take our booklet to St. Stephen's and we would light a candle in thanksgiving and pray the prayers. We went there and Paul lit 3 candles and then he personally read the prayers out loud as we sat near the picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. Yes, it was another 'pocket of peace' for me.

As we were leaving, Paul walked to the statue of the Holy Family near by and he gently touched the shoulder of Mary and thanked her for all her prayers and asked her to keep praying for him. Then as we started to go my cell phone rang. I was going to turn the ringer off and Paul thought I was going to talk and he reprimanded me by saying "don't answer that." I showed him I was just turning off the ringer and he said "good, you are not supposed to use it in church." I had it on vibrate and it kept going off. It was Jon (son). I was a bit worried that something might be wrong, since everyone had gone into the city and maybe a car had broken down or something. When we got outside I called him back. He said he forgot that he had talked to Fr. Jack Durkin and had asked him to stop by the house. I asked when and he said Fr. Jack would be at the house any minute. I said, "Oh no, there is no one home right now." I asked Jon to call him and let him know the front door was open and to go in and make himself at home. Paul said, "I guess we will need to race home. But mom, please be careful!" I reassured Paul that we would not go any faster than how we came. And.................my house was clean because of Marilee, Christine and Debi!! No worries then - smile.

Paul became Mr. Talkative when Fr. Jack arrived. He answered the door and started to talk. Fr. Jack laughingly said that he thought he heard more words from Paul than he has in all the years he has known him! Shortly afterwards, everyone came home and there was so much noise and laughter. It was absolutely just wonderful for me to watch all of this and to see Paul hanging in there with everyone. This was the best day he has had that I could remember. He had not been in bed very much at all and was participating so fully. We ordered pizza and he ate very well again (no surprise about that.............pizza - Paul's favorite!). Unfortunately, Fr. Jack was called away, so we had to say goodbye quickly. But the noise and fun continued and it was around 9 pm and Paul had to say goodnight. He took time to say goodbye to Aunt Marilee and Aunt Christine, as they were leaving early in the morning. Jon and Marie were going to be leaving the next day, so we got busy helping them pack up their car. They got a newer car while they were here in Atlanta because their old Saturn finally gave up. It got them here safely and basically died. It would cost so much more to fix it than the car was worth, so they spent time finding a newer one. Since the new car was bigger than the Saturn, they were able to take a lot of the camping gear that was collecting dust in our garage and other miscellaneous items out there. (We filled the car almost to the top, much to Jon's chagrin. He had the same expression as his father when I would bring things home from my parents house!) As we were helping them pack, I found a big box of old pictures and Stephanie and Kelly started to go through them. There were squeals of laughter as they came across pictures of the boys when they were younger, especially the ones where the boys had 'bowl haircuts' that had been so popular years ago. We would stop and look at the pictures and then continue to pack the car. It was all so much fun. I was happy that Jon and Marie would have a safe drive back and they were so excited about their new car. The girls laugther was such a joyous sound and a wonderful sound to me, since I don't get to be around any girls very much!! We came across some fireworks from the year before, so we ended the night (11:30) with one of the fireworks. Paul had come downstairs about a half hour before that because of all the laughter and he got a kick out of seeing the funny haircuts he and his brothers had. After the one firework 'display' he said, "Great mom, now the neighbors will really love us. I am sure they will tell us tomorrow how much they like us." So, to our wonderful neighbors...............we are very sorry for the noise and we promise to be quiet tonight. We will keep it contained in our home at the very least!

May you all experience a pocket of peace, the Peace of Jesus Christ, in your day today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

(I will get pictures posted later today! )