Our Christmas Gift - no words needed!

Baby Jon

Hope Till We See His Face

On Monday night the phone rang at 11:35 PM. Like most people, a late night phone call strikes fear into the heart. I picked up my cell phone and immediately my heart filled with joy instead. It was our son, Jon. I knew instantly why he was calling. And I was right. Our grandchild was on the way. He told me that, hopefully, we would be grandparents by morning. Marie had been in labor for quite awhile and they wanted to make sure it was the real thing before calling everyone. He asked us to pray for them and then the waiting began.

It was so late that I could not really call anyone to ask for prayers. I woke up James and Michael and asked them to please say a rosary for Marie and the baby. Paul was staying at Jerry's, so I called him. I knew he would be awake since he still has trouble falling asleep at night. He was awake and said he would start his rosary prayers right away. I called my sister Mary Beth and left a voice mail on her cell phone to please pray when she got the message. I thought she might still be up. Then Jon and I sat in our room, with only the moon bringing light through the windows and we said our rosary. I noted it was 11:55, and said happily, "Oh good, the Joyous Mysteries!".

We tried to sleep after that, but it was almost impossible. I had my rosary in my hand all night and my cell phone in the other! At 5 A.M. Jon took my cell phone and told me he would get it recharged........smile. He's a good man. He brought me my coffee and we sat talking for a little while about how tough it is to wait this out and how exciting it was. We went to the 6:30 A.M. Mass and I prayed with great fervency for the health and well being of the baby and strength for Marie. I had turned my cell phone ringer off, but left it sitting in the pew next to me so I would know if the baby was born while we were in Mass. It did not ring. The waiting continued. It struck me immediately during Mass that there was no better example for people to have about longing for Jesus, than what we were experiencing that morning. I asked God in that moment and I have asked Him numerous times since, to help me have an even greater longing for Christ. I dwelled on the thought about how I need to long for the sight of His face in everyone, to long for His words to bring truth in my life, to long for the love that is perfect. In this season of Advent, it is the gift we should all hope for. An even greater love for Jesus and the longing to know Him and serve Him. I completely forgot about the fact that I was waiting for my wonderful first grandchild and sat there, lost in conversation with God. I prayed fervently for this world to receive this gift of longing for the Christ Child and His love. By the time I received Communion, I was so joyous that I had a hard time keeping the tears wiped from my face. My life was so perfect in that moment of receivng the Body of Christ and realizing we are offered Christmas morning every single day. How precious the gift of Our Lord, Jesus. How tragic that the churches are not overflowing with people waiting to receive their daily bread, their gift from heaven. When I think about this perfect gift, given with perfect humility and love, why do I stay away? How do I let life keep me away? How do I let life get in the way? I am so easily preoccupied. Knowing full well my weakness, I have prayed with greater urgency in these past few days that I receive the best gift of all - the desire with my whole being to be more completely in love and union with Jesus.

By early morning, the extended family knew what the Fidero and Hennessy families were anxiously waiting to hear. The emails and phone calls were continuous. It was pretty tough having to wait until 1:00 PM to learn that a new baby boy had come into our lives. I stood outside on a sidewalk, crying as I got the news. I was with my sister Beverly and my friend Meredith Tarantino. We had met for lunch. I immediately called Jon and I could hardly stop crying. One reason was because I was not with him. I told him that it made me remember how we were not together when we learned the news Jon and Marie were expecting a child. Now we were again separated when we got this 'huge' news. Again, lots of phone calls as Beverly and I contacted everyone we could think of and whose phone numbers we had. I had to go back to work and when I got there, I told my supervisor that I honestly didn't think I would be able to get much done and promised that I would be careful to not make any mistakes! After work, all the boys, Jon, Matt Velker and I met at a restaurant and celebrated the birth of
"little Jon Fidero".

As always..........pictures will be posted later when I have time. This is the worst time of year for me at work, since everyone is out driving while preoccupied. Lots of accidents to handle and it is a crisis indeed for these people since most of them are heading to their families and friends in other towns. I have hardly had a moment to my name. We are also preparing to leave to visit Jon, Marie and Baby Jon. Paul is so excited since he will be the Godfather. He has talked alot about how he will be there to help his nephew learn all the stuff little boys need to know. I am sure he will share his love of Jesus with this baby boy too. The most perfect gift of all.

Hope when the sun is setting,
Hope through the dark of night;
Hope though the moon is waning,
Hope as we long for light.
Hope for the coming Savior,
Hope through the heart's slow race;
Hope for the kingdom's dawning,
Hope till we see His face!

At this time, I would like to ask a favor of everyone who is reading this. While we celebrate the birth of our grandson, there is a woman who has followed our story and who has asked for prayers for her granddaughter. The child's name is Cecelia and she is 19 months old. She has had to have a shunt put in, but it has not seemed to help. There are other complicating illnesses this baby girl is suffering from and I remember well how hard it is to watch a child suffer - so I know how difficult this has to be for this family. I ask that you bring the gift of your prayer for this child and family to the Baby Jesus. He will hear and answer them.

I know that all of you have very special intentions in your heart and so I want to say, that while I can't know them all, Jesus does. As we approach Christmas, I'll be praying that Jesus will look with great love and mercy on all your needs. I hope and pray that we all receive the gift of a more perfect love of the Child, Jesus, thereby turning our desire towards the gift of true life.

Glory be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

As Cold As Ice

Chris and Mike chillin'
before freezing

Jon and the coach
looking over the
course

The course from the
starting line












Michael crossing the
finish line!!












Michael waiting
to get out of the
chute after the
race










Michael and his dad-
very happy people!














Michael back to doing
what he enjoys - yard
work in 72 degree
weather!







No place like home......

The Weather Outside is Frightful.............

We took Paul to Charlotte on Tuesday for his final check up with Dr. McLanahan and Dr. Matthews. At least, that is what we thought. In relation to the shunt, it was a final check up and there is nothing more to be done other than monitor it. It is working very well. I talked to Dr. McLanahan about the problem we noticed on Paul's forehead. He has long indentations coming down his forehead on the left side. Dr. McLanahan said it is due to the fact that he did a craniotomy on Paul when the reconstructive surgery was done. The bone has not grown back and it will be watched closely. On a CT taken last August, he showed us the area where the scars are on the skull. He said that he is not concerned at this time about that. Another CT was taken and the best thing he noticed was Paul's ventricles are continuing to reduce in size, which is a main goal. He said that he would not adjust the shunt at all, since Paul's headaches were continuing to improve. He said he is not satisfied with Paul's continued problem of having headaches 24/7, even though they are so low. He will consult with Dr. Matthews about the scars and headache issues and would get back with us.

We went to see Dr. Matthews and he checked Paul's eye function. He encouraged Paul to continue working on the exercises that he was doing at Shepherd, as he still believes Paul will be able to coordinate his eye movement to a much finer degree. He will need to do a few more minor surgeries to shave away scar tissue above the eye socket, where there had been so much damage. He feels that is what is keeping Paul's eye from moving up or down. He did not give a specific answer about the issue of the scars from the craniotomy. He needed to see the current CT and would discuss with Dr. McLanahan. I was left with an uneasy feeling, but immediately put it in God's hands and asked Him to guide these doctors.

Paul had more electrical stimulation done while we were there. Anna, Dr. Matthews’ associate, talked a lot about keeping Paul on a very healthy diet. It is important to concentrate on keeping the liver healthy after all the medications he has been on for so long. A good healthy diet will go a long way to accomplish that. Nothing new about that statement! But Paul was listening this time and he is not as argumentative about drinking a lot more water. He continues to have a problem with realizing he needs food or water. He does not really feel hunger. He knows it is time to eat and he loves to enjoy a meal with us, but he doesn't ever say he is hungry. One day this last week, when he said his head was hurting, I asked him if he had eaten breakfast or lunch, he said no. When asked why not, he said he hadn't thought about it. He had not had anything to drink either.
Hunger and thirst do not seem to be felt.

Anna gave us more information about the electrical treatment. As it turns out, she has a home in Atlanta also. She is going to bring us a preprogrammed machine and will give us the training on administering this for Paul. We will be able to do this for him daily. They want to give this treatment a huge effort and then if that does not work, we will discuss the issue of nerve replacement surgery. That is a major surgery, one we are not going to consider without much prayer and consideration. We would like to see more healing overall, before Paul gets knocked back down with a surgery. He said he would be very willing to have the surgery if it meant he could blink and smile again. He has become very conscious of how he looks and is bothered by it. I know how he feels. I had facial paralysis for 11 months when I was 27 years old. I felt very weird and it is tough to be stared at. I did get 80% recovery and was so thankful to God. I had only a tiny glimpse of the world in which people with permanent deformities live. It is so difficult having limitations on normal movement. Now that he doesn't use tape on his eyelid during the day, most people don't notice anything is different while he wears his sunglasses. I know that is why he prefers to keep them on. We pray for the guidance in helping Paul make the decision about what to do next in regards to this major surgery.

We have completed the therapy at Shepherd for now. They gave Paul instructions for continuing his therapy at home and will see how he progresses. They will schedule an appointment for his neuro-psych evaluation. Paul will not be able to go to school this Spring. We were so disappointed about it. I had to trust God there was a reason. Since Paul had been out for 2 years, he needed to reapply. That deadline was missed when Shepherd Center started to look at getting him back in school. One thing they noticed was Paul was very reluctant about going back. While he was ready cognitively, emotionally it may have been premature. He had been asked to do some things in regards to registration and he did not complete the tasks. We were not aware of this. It was a combination of things that caused the deadline to be missed. I feel in my heart that it must not have meant to be. After our last appointment with the Charlotte doctors, it seems better that they complete the work of fine tuning the functioning of Paul's eye. It will help Paul be more successful when he does take college courses. In the meantime, Paul will register for the Summer session. That is why the neuro-psych evaluation was put off until Spring. The results will be current for the cognitive, emotional and physical state that Paul is in at that time. The results will be given to the school so that they can assess Paul's needs and match them with the available help.

In the meantime, we will continue to provide daily course work for Paul to do to keep some skills needed for college. He has taken an active role in that. He and Jon purchased a Nintendo DS which has a program that helps to build word recognition, spelling and use. We have noticed that Paul is limited in word recall and this is a fun way to help him remember words he has forgotten. Another useful thing we where shown is a Timex watch that will allow him to transfer data from the computer, where he programs his weekly schedule. The watch will then send the messages throughout the day to remind Paul of what he needs to remember to do next, since he still has problems with short term memory. It was an issue of concern for his therapist at Shepherd, in regards to his being ready for college. We remain hopeful that there is still a lot more progress he will make. It really does take time and it is a tough lesson in patience for us all.

I have to say, when the doctors and staff saw Paul last week, everyone of them commented on how huge a leap Paul has taken since they saw him last. Both doctors seemed relieved and encouraged that he has come this far. It was fun to watch their faces when they saw him as they entered the room. He has gained some weight, has great color and HAS A GOOD HAIRCUT! I know Paul was happy to hear them talking so positively about how good he looks and how healthy he has become.

On Friday, we got to focus on Michael and the Junior National Olympics in Kansas City. As Jon, Michael and I were lifting off from Atlanta, the pilot made an announcement to welcome aboard all the Olympic athletes who were on this flight. It was so fun to hear that. We noticed there were at least 7 young men on board. Michael and his friend, Chris, attend the same college and they both qualified for the event. We landed in Kansas City and walked outside into the freezing cold. It became instantly clear that we were not prepared for the weather. The gloves, hats and windbreaker coat I had on were no match for the biting wind. I should have known better since I was raised in the northern state of Wisconsin. As we came through the clouds upon landing, Chris and Mike noticed the snow on the ground and instantly turned to look at each other and I saw Mike mouth the words, "Mother of God". Neither of them had run in weather any colder than 40 degrees and it became clear that this was going to be one tough race. We drove out to the farm in Perry, Kansas where the event would take place and they walked the trail. It had snowed the day before, and the trail was now icy and muddy. Michael said that he didn’t think he would do very well, but would try hard to make it worth the money spent to get there. The next morning, we woke up to 20 degree weather, with the wind chill factor making it feel like 10 degrees. We got up early so we could go to Mass on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day of obligation. We used the GPS to help us find the closest Catholic church. It took us to an abandoned building! I was really sad that we were not going to be able to make it to Mass. As we sat in the parking lot, Michael remembered the names of the streets of an intersection that someone had mentioned might be the location of a Catholic church. We entered that information and drove as quickly as we could on the icy streets. We got there and unfortunately, I parked on the wrong side of the huge church building. We tried to walk up the stairs on one side, but it was too icy. So we walked back around the other way and had to climb a very steep hill in the icy snow, while holding onto the wall of the church to keep from slipping. Our tennis shoes did not help one bit! We made it to the top and got into church right before the Gospel. We were frozen. I didn’t take time to completely dry my hair and as Mass continued, I started to shiver so hard from the chill of it. I prayed with complete thanksgiving that heaven helped us find the church and that we had food and shelter and warm (at least for Atlanta weather) clothing to wear. I was so aware of our blessings in life! As I sat there thanking God, I was picturing how hard it had been to get inside the building. It would have been so easy to just quit and use the excuse that we had tried our hardest and to have turned around when we first were lost. But I felt so compelled to find the church and God provided Michael with the way. We struggled in the freezing drizzle to climb up that hill, keeping our balance with use of the church building. What a perfect visual aid for me! It has been the church – all of our brothers and sisters in Christ – who we have clung to as we climbed so many hills. I thought about how I always want to have that desire to stay close to God, no matter how hard the trail. I prayed that my desire to receive the Body of Christ that day would grow stronger with each day I lived. I know that is how Jesus wants us to desire Him in every moment of our life. I felt such joy being there with Him that morning. On that beautiful feast day of Blessed Mary, I was sure She had had a hand in getting us to Her Son! Days later, I was reminded that a Mass was said for Jon and me at Ave Maria on Friday night. James and Shannon were there praying for us. I know their prayers helped us receive Jesus at Mass on Saturday. Oh, that wonderful power of prayer!

Michael and Chris did pretty well, given the conditions and their lack of experience in the cold. They placed 120 and 133 out of 173 runners. The winners came from Montana and Idaho. Not a surprise……….smile. When Michael crossed the finish line, we were so proud of him. He has been a cross country runner for only 4 months and was in the Jr. National Olympics. Like Paul, there is a lot of hope and promise for his future. He came out of the finishing gates and hugged Jon so hard. He thanked us both for going through all the expense and trouble of being there with him. Yes – it was a priceless moment seeing his joyous smile and receiving those hugs.

We pray dear brothers and sisters, that everyone continues to seek God and His will, with an Olympic size effort. We pray no one loses their way on the trail that will allow us to see His joyous and loving face at the end of our journey.
You don’t want to be left out in the cold.

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Coming Soon to a Computer Near You

2 new posts will be entered this afternoon...............ran into some technical difficulties.
I am so sorry to keep you waiting.
God bless! - Rebecca

Take A Look At Me Now

I have been unable to get the short movie we took of Paul at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament on. I will continue to work on it. We were happy to see how relaxed he was - much like he used to be when he performed.

On Friday, Paul went with all the other employees at DTSi to the company Christmas party that was held in north Georgia. They had cabins rented and Paul really wanted to go. It was easy for us to say yes, because...................PAUL IS OFF ALL PRESCRIPTION DRUGS! He had missed a couple of doses in the last 2 weeks and we saw it didn't affect the level of his headaches. So we started to split the doses in half and then moved him off of the medications all together. Even without his prescriptions, his headaches only get up to a level 4. He mostly has had a dull pain that he says in around 2 - 2.5. If it gets higher, he is using Advil to help. So, he is now using Advil once or twice a day. He is now going without taping his eye closed at all, so since he is so low maintenance, we decided he would be fine going on his first 'solo' trip. No parents, no Jerry, no Judy. We talked to Paul about remembering his eye drops throughout the day and he said he was ready for that - he knows to use them every one to 2 hours. He got himself packed and ready and headed off to work on Friday morning and were told he would be home Saturday, late afternoon. He told me he was sorry he would not be home for my birthday on Saturday and I responded that I was receiving a beautiful gift instead............more independence for him.

On Friday night, I was out with my sister Bev, and my dear friend Meredith Tarantino, and my cell phone rang. It was about 9 PM and I saw that it was Paul. The conversation started with, "Mom, this is Paul and I thought I should call you about something that has happened." I immediately thought, "We have a 3 hour drive ahead of us." I asked what was the matter and he said, "Nothing is really the matter. But something has happened and I wanted to tell you. I don't have any headache at all. None. My head does not hurt even a little bit. Awhile ago, my head was hurting at about a 3.0 and I was going to get some Advil. But then I waited until after dinner and now my head does not hurt at all. I have been laughing and having a good time and even the laughing didn't cause my head to hurt like it always does. I just wanted you to know that." I asked him, "So after 2 years Paul, how does it feel to have no headache?"
FAN - FLIPPIN-TASTIC was his respsonse. He was laughing as he said it. He then told me that when he opened the door of his cabin earlier, he had seen a bobcat. He was pretty excited about that too. It was quite a huge weekend for Paul and he came home as happy as can be. I have to tell you, we are so blessed with the companies we work for. DTSi has stuck by Paul through it all and they held his job open for him. It was a slow walk back for him, but he is now working on new duties and is very excited to accomplish new tasks. He told us he really wants to do a good job because he loves everybody at his job and he wants to pay them back by doing a good job. I have been blessed with my job, as they have allowed me to get Paul back and forth to his job when Judy or Jerry can't. Jon's company, Ikon Office Solutions, has allowed him to take a lot of time off to take turns with me getting Paul to Charlotte. More gifts from God!

I had the best birthday ever. It started with Judy dropping by my office on Friday morning and bringing me roses! I was so surprised. We all love her so much - she is truly like another mother to Paul and Michael. Michael came home from college on Friday and Jerry took us out to lunch. Then on Saturday, I got flowers from Jon and Marie - they had 3 roses included - one from each of them...............smile. Saturday morning, Jon and I went to First Saturday Mass and I have to tell you, I had tears flowing like a river. I spent a good portion of the day remembering 2 years ago when Paul was able to silently mouth 'happy birthday mom'. Yes, take a look at him now! I also spent a good portion of the day thanking God. I was in conversation with Him so often throughout the day. How could I not be? I can't help but 'Take a Look At Him Now!' I know His presence so much better. I feel His presence often. Praise be to God and to His Son who saved us and to the Holy Spirit who moves our souls closer to Our Father.

Paul, Michael and Jerry went to see a comedian on Saturday night and Jon and I went to see the Turtle Island string quartet/ Leo Kottke concert. We all met back at our house and shared our stories. One more time, we have been graced with a joyful ending to a joyful day.

Last night, Paul came into the house with his dear friend Nathan Rose. Paul got sidetracked playing his guitar, so Nathan and I were talking. He said he sees a lot of Paul's personality coming through and also the changes. I mentioned that Paul says he doesn't have a passion for music, yet look at him - anytime he picks up his guitar, he gets lost in the music. Nathan said something that really may be the case. He said that he thinks Paul is aware that God wanted him to change. He had this passion for music before and was heading in that direction and then God stopped him. Maybe Paul thinks God wants him to do something else and that is why he allowed the accident to happen. While Paul still loves music, maybe he thinks God wants him to do something completely different. We had not thought about it like that before. When Jon and I talked about it after Paul and Nathan left, Jon said that maybe God just wants Paul to do something a 'little' different with his music, since Paul was given this talent. Time and prayers for direction will tell us.

The tests they ran on Paul's lungs showed he does have mild asthmas and it just flared up over the Fall season. His lungs are in very good shape after all the damage done to them. While he won't be able to compete in 5k runs, he is certainly free to enjoy anything he wants to try.
We are taking him to his last (hopefully) visit to Charlotte tomorrow. He will see both the neurosurgeon and reconstructive surgeon. We are looking forward to a lot less travel in that direction in the new year!

With our most heartfelt thanks to everyone who has prayed us this far forward,
we remain your brothers and sisters in Christ. All of the intentions of those who have thought of us and prayed for us were included in our 5 mile Rosary walk on Saturday and in the hour of adoration we spent in front of the Blessed Sacrament yesterday.
May you be blessed with far greater abundance than us!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

Thanksgiving Day and oh yes, there was so much to be thankful for. Our house was filled with so much laughter and fun. After the 10 A.M. Mass, I had asked if there were any traditions that our 3 guests had with their own families that we could incorporate into the day. Shannon said that they make place settings for each person with construction paper and cardboard rolls from bathroom/paper towels. Each roll is decorated as an indian or pilgrim. James, Paul, Shannon, Lillian and Joe worked on them while I got the Thanksgiving meal ready. Our '5th' son, Matt Velker came by and joined us for dinner too. It was a perfect day.

Friday morning, Jon, Paul and I went to Hanceville, Alabama to see the nuns at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. The weather was crisp and beautiful and since most people were at the shopping malls, the traffic was very light. Big bonus for us! We had about 40 minutes to spare when we got there so we sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament for a while to present our intentions to Jesus. We then found a quiet place for Paul to warm up before he played his guitar for the nuns. We waited in the hallway until we were invited into the parlor. A young woman, who is in the novitiate, came to meet us. She told us her name was Isabella. I told her we would definitely remember her name since it is the same one Jon and Marie have chosen if their baby is a girl. She agreed it was a perfect name. Then, she looked at Paul and asked, " Are you Paul Fidero? We have really been looking forward to your coming here to play for us." She then asked us to come into the parlor. There were about 8 young seminarians who were visiting from Ohio and they were still visiting with the nuns. Sr. Marie St. John asked if Paul would mind playing for the seminarians also and Paul said he would not mind at all. Within minutes, the chairs were all filled on the parlor side and also on the other side, where the cloistered nuns sat. I told them that Paul had been practicing for weeks and that he had even memorized his songs for the nuns. This was not as easy as it seemed since Paul struggles with short term memory problems. But with practice, he did it. He played Ode to Joy, then Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring. After these 2 songs, he looked up and with a serious face said, "The next song is one by the Rolling Stones." The whole room erupted into laughter at this and I could tell Paul was really having a wonderful time entertaining. He was enjoying the fact that he had made everyone laugh with his joking. He then finished his 3rd classical piece and he looked up and gave everyone his huge smile as they clapped for him. Later, he told me how awesome it was to look up and see all those nuns looking at him with such wonderful smiles. He was really touched by it. We got to spend an hour with the nuns, priest and seminarians! It was incredible. One of the nuns, Sr. Mary Clare, was not there when Paul played, so when she came in about 25 mintues later, he sat down and played just for her. On our last trip, she had asked us to pray for her baby nephew, who has a very rare disease. She told us Connor was not doing very well at all and asked us to keep up our prayer vigil for him. She was happy to hear that the picture she had given us on our last trip, of Mother Angelica holding Connor, was placed in front of the statue of Blessed Mother. We placed it there so we would remember to keep him in our daily prayers and also as a visible sign that Our Mother in heaven truly looks over us all in our needs. We found out that Sr. Marie St. John keeps a picture of Paul on her desk and she prays for him everyday! We told her that the prayers are surely being heard in heaven, because Paul is doing so much better. She did say that she was totally amazed at the difference in his appearance in only 4 months. We left the Shrine with the promise that when Paul had a lot more songs learned, he would come back and continue to share his gift of music with them.
We were supposed to meet the group of Ave Maria University students, along with the nuns and priests from that school, but they had left the shrine earlier to go to EWTN in Birmingham. We told them we would call them after Paul played for the nuns and would then try to meet them.
I called Anne Shea and found out that they were still at EWTN and so we drove about 40 miles to meet them there. They were at the monastery about 2 miles away from EWTN when we arrived, so we waited in the chapel . I was just overflowing with the joy of the day and it was great to be sitting in front of the Tabernacle, thanking Jesus for all the blessings we have received. I cannot describe the amount of happiness I felt while sitting there.

The chartered bus pulled up outside and Anne came into the chapel to welcome us. In October, it was Anne who asked if we could come to the Shrine during the Thanksgiving weekend, after she read on the blog that we had hoped to bring Paul back to the Shrine once he had learned a few songs. When I told Paul about the idea, he kicked into high gear to learn the songs very quickly so we could time our visit with Ave Maria’s. There were almost 60 people on the bus. Paul was most especially looking forward to seeing Jordan Shea. They had met about 4 years prior, when some of the students at the Ave Maria Michigan campus were traveling to Daytona Beach during Spring break to evangelize to the youth at the beach. Jon was attending Ave Maria at the time, so he asked Paul (who was 18 yrs old) to join them. We drove Paul to Augusta and dropped him off at the Shea's house. From there, the 2 van loads of students traveled to Florida. That is when we all met the Shea family. Jordan was about 12 years old at that time and we later learned that he had really enjoyed being with Paul and had been very sad to see Paul leave. Jordan is not able to hear out of one ear and has very limited hearing in the other. Out of all the people who were at the Shea house, it was with Paul that Jordan felt a connection. In hindsight, it is easy to see God’s hand at work! Paul was really looking forward to seeing Jordan again. He wanted to share the fact that he too suffers with the loss of hearing in one ear. So as we came into the room where everyone was gathered to have dinner, Paul was looking for Jordan. Jon told me later he was keeping an eye out for Jordan too because he wanted to see his face when he saw Paul. He was not disappointed. He said that when Jordan saw Paul, his face lit up into a huge smile and he went quickly to Paul’s side. Paul recognized him instantly and smiled right back. They immediately started talking about having hearing aides and comparing the functions of each set. They shared all the difficulties they endure, but especially the constant ringing in their ears. Both of them agreed that they will listen to music or watch a movie to take their minds off the constant ringing noise they hear 24/7. While we can empathize with Paul, only Jordan would understand what it is like. They talked the whole time during dinner and were really enjoying each other’s company.

Now, along with the Shea's, there were lots of students and their families, nuns and priests and also Fr. Raphael, who is the founder of the religious order of nuns called The Home of the Mother. Anne Shea’s daughter, Katherine, is in the novitiate stage at the convent in Spain. The nuns who were on this trip belong to this order also. After dinner, Fr. Raphael got a microphone and to our surprise, introduced Paul. He speaks Spanish, so he had to use an interpreter. He asked Paul if he would tell everyone about his faith journey. I was a little worried that Paul would become overwhelmed with the request and so I immediately prayed that if God needed someone to hear His words, please send the Holy Spirit to help Paul speak them. Paul started out by telling everyone who he was before the accident. He said he went to church because he was supposed to. He prayed occasionally, but really didn’t have much of a relationship with God. He said that he pretty much lived his life according to his own will. He said he must have had a meeting with God during his coma because when he woke up, he could not stop thinking about God. He thinks about Him almost all the time now. Before he attempts to do most anything, he asks God to help him. He asks God to help heal him every day. He talks to God so much more. He told the young people that they needed to change their lives to be one with God. It was the most important thing they could do. If they weren’t in a close relationship with Jesus, they should change their lives right away. Paul mentioned that they didn’t need to have an accident to learn it. He must have needed to learn it that way, but not everyone has to go through that. He said he never regrets what has happened to him. He said, “Look at me – with all my physical problems and hearing loss and the paralysis, even with that, I don’t regret a thing. God allowed it to happen for a reason. He knows what needs to be done in my life. So I don’t regret anything that has happened.” Fr. Raphael asked Paul a number of questions, as did some of the students. Paul stayed very much at ease and answered them all patiently. Near the end, he started to repeat himself more than before, so I knew he was getting very tired. It was now around 8:30 and we had been away from home since 9:00 A.M. It had been a huge day for Paul. Fr. Raphael then asked Paul if he would play his guitar for the group. Paul got his guitar and they made a space for him in the middle of the room. As he sat down and got situated, Jordan got the portable microphone and ran down to where Paul was and he knelt on the floor in front of Paul and held the microphone in front of the guitar so that everyone could hear him play. I had to work hard to hold back the tears as I watched Jordan kneeling at Paul’s feet, making sure his friend’s music would be heard. The beauty of that act, by this sweet young man who has difficulty hearing – knowing instantly what to do to get the sound of the music out to everyone’s ears. God was speaking volumes in that act of love. I felt very blessed to be a witness to it.

It came time for everyone to leave. We had a 3 hour drive back to Atlanta and they had to get back to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. We got to meet so many wonderful people in that short period of time. There was a couple from Connecticut who told us they still read the blog and asked us to pray for them as they had to drive back home from Florida on Sunday. What an awesome thing for us – meeting the people who have helped pray Paul back to good health! You can bet we remembered them in prayer as requested. We got to meet another Sister Isabella. She had come from the convent in Spain. Hmmmm……I wonder if Marie’s baby is a girl………….
It took us a good while to get all the goodbye’s completed, but finally everyone was on the bus and in the vans and ready to leave. As we stood there, a man and woman came up to us and the man introduced himself to Paul. He told Paul that he had been listening to his story and he was going to read through the blog. He said he was the director of programming ( I believe that is what he said………..sorry, I was very tired at this point!) at EWTN. He said he believed that this story was something they would want to tell on EWTN and he asked Paul if he would be interested. Paul told him that he would and asked what he needed to do. He was told that they were going to read about his story on the blog and they would then call to make an appointment to discuss it all. We were asked for our phone numbers and told that they would be in touch with us.

We were stunned. Literally stunned. As we walked back to our van, Paul was laughing joyously about how awesome his day had gone. He could not believe how great it was seeing the nuns smiling at him, and seeing Jordan again and then getting to play his guitar for everyone and then maybe getting to be on EWTN. I can tell you, his joy was being shared by his parents! We could not believe what an awesome day it had been. One blessed moment after another. We talked about it almost all the way back home.

Yes, getting to know our ‘new’ Paul, we are getting to know God more each day.

“Blessed are the ears that heed the inner whisperings of the Lord, and pay no attention to the deceitful murmurings of this world; and blessed indeed are the ears which do not listen to the loud voices from outside, but instead are attentive to Him, Who inwardly teaches the truth.”
Imitation of Christ, 3:1

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening. (1 Sam 3:9)
May you incline your hearts to follow what Jesus speaks to your souls,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

P.S. Last and certainly not least…….Paul is now completely off his prescriptions for headaches! He uses Advil only once a day, usually in the morning when he wakes up. He uses ice packs and exercises from the chiropractor during the day, when he feels a headache coming on, and it helps him avoid taking medication.He has mild headaches still, but he mostly doesn’t notice it enough to even mention it. He still has loud ringing in his left ear, but we keep praying that it will be healed. All things in God’s time. Praise be to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Thanksgiving Weekend Pictures

There is a great story that I will post tonight. Here are a few pictures of our weekend. Let me
tell you, it was a jammed packed, action filled weekend! Check back tonight for a HUGE story. I
will fill you in on the stories behind the pictures.















Jordan and Paul meet again after 4 years!















Stephanie with her parents, Paul and
Sandy. Welcome to the Catholic church
Stephanie!! She was baptized and
confirmed on Saturday night.












Joe, Paul, James, Shannon and Lillian work on the
place markers for our Thanksgiving day table setting.














Our Thanksgiving pilgrims and indians
serving as place
markers - A tradition from the Kilian family!














Lillian, Joe, James and Shannon getting ready to leave
Sunday - we really do miss them all !
















Michael and Lillian raking up the leaves.
Lillian was so happy to
see the Fall leaves - she just had to take a plunge!
She and Joe live in the Midwest and they miss
the cold weather and Fall leaves now that they
are in Florida at Ave Maria University


















Paul at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament -
he was there to play his guitar for the nuns who have
been praying for him. He's a visible sign of prayers
answered.














Paul and Jon approaching the statue of the Child
Jesus at the entrance of the Shrine.

One last picture of our sons with their incredible
friends. It was the end of a most blessed weekend.

Running On Empty

Michael on the far left

Great picture - both
feet off the ground.

Uncle Jim dubbed him
"Mercury Mike"



So, one year later, we again look back at where we were last year at this time and can't believe the long way we've come! Last year, we were driving home from our very first visit with Dr. McLanahan and he had given us so much hope about being able to help Paul. It took us 7 hours to get home from Charlotte that day before Thanksgiving. We were wiped out from it all, but we were so joyous that we had a promise of help on the horizon. We had no idea that it would take 4 surgeries to accomplish the task, but completed it is. Praise God for all the recovery that Paul has gained.

Two years ago, Paul was still in his coma and Jon and James were driving home during the night to be with us on Thanksgiving. It was a very strange day for us, but it too ended with much hope. Paul had moved his right arm as his brother Jon played songs that they had recorded. Then, while we were praying the rosary as we all stood around his hospital bed, Paul yawned. We started to believe Paul might be coming out of his coma. It would be around 11 PM on Thanksgiving night that Paul woke from his coma and the nurse who was on duty knew we would learn of it the next morning. Thanksgiving has taken on a much deeper meaning for our family, that is for sure. Not only were we given the gift of Paul's life, we were given a gift of a closer relationship with God. Those gifts brought us to a new pathway - one that continually brings so much hope and trust in God's unconditional love. One that has taught us that God will help us in His way and time, if we allow it.

All of you know our story and have seen that God has worked so many miracles and has shown so many signs of His love. The recovery has been slowly progressing and the outcome is not known, but we are sure that God has been in charge. We are sure that any purpose God has for each of us will come to pass if we stay on this pathway. We are sure that we are each called by name and that we have our own ‘point and purpose’ in the world. We just have to stay in touch with God or we will surely lose our way. In the past few weeks I have really been trying hard to make it to Mass each day, like we used to do before Paul’s accident. Our lives have become so full again with lots of assorted activities outside of our jobs and I have found it very hard to get up so early in the morning. I have also been experiencing more migraine headaches lately. I have tried to remember that Paul would still get up and try to function each day with his constant headaches and that has sometimes been the ‘push’ I needed to get up and get ready. Other times I would ask Jon at night to keep after me until I actually sat up and got going. I have tried the ‘guilt’ tactic on myself, the pep talk, the promise of coming back home and sleeping for a half hour before going to work, the reminder of how Jesus suffered and surely my fatigue did not compare………………sometimes it would help, but lately, I have been so tired from all that is going on in our lives, with the added lack of sleep from my migraines, nothing was getting me out of bed. So, I talked to a priest about it and said that I could not believe my lack of discipline and how I should be the first one showing up each morning. My sons were alive and healthy, I have a grandchild on the way, I have a loving husband, a steady income, a nice home, incredible friends and family. The priest reminded me that I should ask myself how I would like it if God told me that He didn’t have time to take care of my needs today, but would try to get back to me in a couple of days or so. Jesus has invited us to be with Him every day and to receive the gift of His body and blood and the graces that brings. There is no more beautiful gift on earth. Of course, I know this to be true, but hearing this priest talk about it helped me have a true desire to be with Jesus each day. While getting up each morning is a discipline, the desire to be with Jesus was there. Oh what a battle between the flesh and the spirit. I am so weak a person and I cannot believe how easy it is to lose a discipline. For me anyway! So, all this is leading to what happened to me this morning. I had a really bad migraine which had me awake at 4:00 A.M. Jon gets up at 4:00 each morning and says the rosary, reads the news online, brings me a cup of coffee, then gets his shower. His discipline is exemplary. I always try to attain just a little of it, but seem to fail miserably. I am not a 4 A.M. kind of person. Nor a 5, 6 or 7. Eight is good.
Anyway, I was up and asked Jon if he would bring me an aspirin with my cup of coffee. I fell asleep before he came back upstairs and so did not even hear him bring my coffee. He was getting ready to leave and I heard him walk into the room. I looked at the clock and it was 5:50. It was almost too late for me to get to church on time. I asked him why he had not gotten me up and he said that he knew I was feeling poorly and he felt I needed to sleep more than anything since I had a long day ahead of me with everyone coming home for the weekend. I almost stayed in bed, but then I knew I would have so much more peace in my day if I made it to Mass. I sat up in bed to see if I could handle the pain in my head and there was a dried rose petal on the side of my pillow. I picked it up and told Jon that apparently, someone wanted me at Mass that day. I thought to myself that it must be Mary or St. Therese. The rose petal must have fallen out of the book we are using for the devotion of the Consecration to Mary. It is a 30 day novena and we are on day 16. I have been reading this book for 16 days now and I had not ever noticed the rose petal in it. But it finally must have fallen out the night before and landed on my pillow. That is the only way I can think of it being there. (I have saved rose petals from the garden outside the adoration chapel at Corpus Christi and placed them in my Magnificat prayer book, but I haven’t done it in years. At some point, I must have placed one in this devotional book .) So, I got up and raced as fast as I could to get ready in time. Amazingly, the priest had also overslept and so I was not late. The absolutely best part was when I opened my Magnificat book and saw that it was the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I got tears in my eyes from the joy I felt in that moment. Our sweet Blessed Mother had helped me up this morning and I thanked her over and over for her help. I knew instantly that it was her because we are right in the middle of our Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which will be finished on December 8th. That is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Of course it would be Mary who would help me come to be with Her Son, Jesus! Then, in his homily, Father quoted St. Therese! So, it looks like I was tag-teamed!

I have been running on empty, but with God’s grace, will get back on track.

That brings me to some very exciting news. Last Saturday, we went to Michael’s end of the season Sports Award Banquet. He has been running cross country at college. He joined the team because he had started running last Summer and wanted to continue running. He was not expected to be much of a runner because he had had no prior experience or training. It turns out that after all those years of being chased by James and staying out of reach of the ‘strike zone’, Michael is a decent runner. He has been the #2 man on the team. Last Saturday, the team came back from their last run of the season and Michael greeted us with the statement, “Your boy is going to Kansas City.” He then told us that he had just finished running the qualifying race to the National Junior Olympics! He was the 20th runner to finish, which was the cut off. He had fallen too! His coaches told us that they were so happy with his ability and said that we should be so proud of him since he had no prior experiences. They are going to be working with him to help him do his best at the final meet. He will need to be in the top 25 to be recognized on the national level. While he may not make that goal, he may now be eligible to receive an athletic scholarship next year. I cannot tell you who was more excited about all this – Michael or his parents. We were so shocked. As we were saying goodbye to him to come back home, we were talking about our faith and how many blessings we have received. I told Michael to be sure to pray and thank God for all He has done for him. He told us that he says his rosary every day and then said, “I was on my knees praying the rosary this morning before I ran.” I hugged him so hard and told him I was more happy to hear that than hearing about his going to the National Junior Olympics. It will be his praying the rosary that will keep him from ‘Running on Empty.”

On Friday, we will be driving to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament so Paul can play his guitar for the nuns. They asked us to be there at 2:30. Paul has been practicing a lot and today called me to tell me some really good news. He said he all of a sudden remembered some of the training he had received a couple of years ago, and it has helped him play with a more fluid movement. He immediately showed Jon and me as soon as we got home from work. It was really neat to see him so enthused about it. There was a lot of chaos when we got home because James had just pulled into the driveway also, and there was a lot of hugging going on. James brought home 3 students from Ave Maria – his girlfriend Shannon, and Joe and Lillian (brother and sister). Right after we all walked inside, Paul pulled out his guitar to show Jon and me what he remembered. He played the songs really well. He truly is ready to play his songs for the nuns.

He continually is improving in the level of headache pain and the frequency. We have dropped one prescription drug that he took twice a day and have dropped a dose of the other prescription pain medication. He occasionally will take an Advil to get him over the pain of a headache and the headache levels are no higher than 5. He is also not wearing his sunglasses as much. Each day he wears them less and less. On Sunday, Jon and I were asked to bring up the gifts at the Offertory. After the gifts were taken from us, Father Paddy took our hands and blessed us, then said, “I saw Paul at the 5 o’clock Mass last night and his eye looks grand. He is looking so much better, praise be to God.” We have had so many people tell us how wonderful he is looking. When I think back to July and our first visit to the Shrine, Paul has improved a great deal. I am sure the nuns will be so pleased to see how far he has recovered since that time. A visible sign of prayers being answered.

We wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving day. May you feel His love pouring out from heaven, bringing you peace and joy.

Love,
The Fidero Family

11 / 11 /05 - 11 / 11 / 07

With grateful hearts we celebrated the 2nd year anniversary date of Paul's accident. There was a blessed peacefulness throughout the day.

Thanks be to God, His angels and saints, and to you, all our brothers and sisters in Christ for the prayers that have kept Paul alive and moving toward more recovery each day.

Peace to all of you and your families,
With great love,
Jon and Rebecca

Makes Me Want to Shout

In the days following Paul's accident, Jon and James had to go back to school and they asked me to keep the blog going so they would know what was going on. So when I started to write the information, I was doing it with the thought that my family and a few close friends were reading it. Once I learned so many others were reading it, I told Jon I wasn't sure I could continue it because it made me nervous to know it was being read by complete strangers. He told me to just write what was in my heart and thoughts and God would take care of the rest. I immediately thought that I should temper the statements about our Catholic faith and make it more generic so that I would not offend anyone. I mean, complete strangers were reading and I didn't want to 'hit them over the head' with our faith and values. But what kept coming to mind was that it wasn't so much our story anymore, it was God's story. Plain and simple. The way this story spread and with hundreds of people praying for our family - that became the next miracle after God spared Paul's life. We got personal emails from young people who were thanking us for helping them in their search for faith, or just restoring their faith. We had strangers come up and introduce themselves and they would let us know how wonderful it was to read the blog and it filled them with renewed hope in their own lives. So often, I found myself sitting in front of my computer without a clue of what I would write down. I learned to pray to the Holy Spirit to help my words be what God wanted people to know. It WAS HIS STORY and I would type, He would provide. Because it was His story, I decided that I would not make it a crowd pleaser. I would write God's story in its fullest and with the truths we have learned in Scripture and God's word to His people. I wanted everyone to know the everlasting love of God for his children and how we are all connected as one body in Christ. It was a truth we were learning day after day. So often, the words of John Paul II have helped me get through the days and months of Paul's slow recovery process. BE NOT AFRAID. I would repeat them and follow them with JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU. I continue to work hard to live by those words and yes, I fail often. But I will continue to persevere in my attempt because I have been changed.

I have asked myself, "Why would anyone continue to read this blog? Why do they hang on to this slow moving story?" Maybe, it is because Paul's recovery is something tangible and real. It is measurable. With the onslaught of attacks against Christianity in our world today, stories like this help keep us renewed in hope and trust. Ours is only one of many. It is one that has shown how much love people possess and are capable of sharing. It has been a story of incredible charitable acts. We have been made aware of other people's struggles and we consider ourselves so blessed that God has personally invited us to help others make it through struggles with more prayers and loving actions. So often, we keep our religious lives quietly tucked away and separate from our secular life. We keep our love of God confined to our faith communities and then stay quiet when we are out in the world. We hear so much in the media that ridicules those who are trying to share the truth and enormity of God's love for us. Christianity is being attacked from so many directions and there does not seem to be a loud response in defense of God's love and truth. I found myself guilty of this too. I tempered all the love , the joy, the hope and trust I was experiencing, with guarded conversation. Why do we do that? When we have been a witness to so many miracles, why are we guarded in our interactions with the secular world? Be Not Afraid comes to my mind again. God graced us with a very full knowledge that He would not abandon us in the days following Paul's accident. We actually were able to feel His peace and love surrounding us, even though we were told Paul had no chance of living. We felt so blessed that God took our family by the hand and asked us to keep a prayerful vigil with Jesus at Gethsemane, asked us to walk side by side with Jesus at Calvary. He asked us to trust in His everlasting love and gave us the joy of knowing we would not be abandoned. In the darkest hours, we felt His presence. Those who have been graced with intense suffering, prayerfully will have knowledge of the joy that will follow. So I ask myself, "Why would we not share that joy, that incredible and immense joy of God's love, with everyone we encounter?" Why do we not come right out and say that if it were not for God, we are nothing.? I know who I was before this accident and I know I would not have chosen me to be the one to write about God’s love. What I now know is that God will take a ‘weak link’ and will use it for His purpose. That way, everyone will know it was His might and power that accomplished the task at hand. The key is, all I had to do was say yes. I saw Blessed Mary’s example of “Yes” to God and tried, in my humble way, to follow that example. And God has not abandoned me. I am not always strong and I sometimes still cry out “Why have you left me alone to handle this?” I sometimes feel real sadness when I think about how Paul will never return to exactly the person he was. I feel real sadness when I think that he may never reach full independence and no parent wants to see that for their children. In these times of despair or fear, His word comes to me and I am renewed in hope and trust.

In answer to my previous questions of why do we stay silent about what we know to be true about God, I read something on Sunday at Mass. I had started this posting on Saturday and then decided to take time to think about whether I should be shouting out at everyone.

“It is perfectly obvious that if I am so blessed by the gifts of the Spirit, that I find my reason, will and emotions made increasingly perceptive of divine currents previously lost to me, I can hardly help acting in a new way. I now discover the view about me and consequently, my manner of life must in some ways be different from before. The vision has come; it cannot simply open my eyes to new things in life without thereby altering that very life itself. Not only shall I find that what seemed to me before to be evil now appears to me to be a blessing; but on that very account, what before I tried to avoid, or having got, tried to be rid of, I shall now accept, perhaps even seek. Similarly, whereas then I was weak, now I am strong; and increase of strength means new activities, new energy put into the old work and finding its way into works altogether new. My emotions, finally, which imperiled and dominated my life, slip now into a subordinate position and while thereby as actively employed as before, are held under discipline. It is clear that the gifts will not leave me where I was before, but will influence my actions as well as alter my vision. This means that I have a new idea as to the means of achieving the full happiness of life. Once upon a time I thought happiness meant comfort; now I see that it means something quite different. I am therefore obliged to change also my idea as to the means and conditions whereby, and in which, happiness can be found.”
Father Bede Jarrett

Can I stay quiet about the everlasting love of God and the joy that it promises?
Not ever. This world has so much suffering and darkness and if we are not the voices in the wilderness, the gift of God’s joy will not be shared. It is too awesome a gift for us to keep to ourselves.

I gladly share my email address with anyone who needs our prayers and love. We have reaped the bounty of the power of your prayers. We joyfully want to share God’s love with you.

God loves all his creation with a passionate love. It is our task to love and cherish creation as God does.

And now about Paul………………smile.
He continues to use his eyes together all day long. He is learning to remember to keep fluid in his left eye so it does not dry out. We are seeing marked improvement, but have noticed the movement up and down are very limited for his left eye. We may need to have an MRI done to see if there is a blockage caused either in the accident, or in one of the reconstructive surgeries. I think that possibly, the doctors never did give much thought to the eye, since most considered it blind or almost. Forge ahead, we will. Paul seems happier about leaving his sunglasses off and we definitely have to get him a pair of regular glasses to protect the left eye at all times, since there is very little movement in the eyelid. The bottom lid is showing a lot more movement than the top lid.

He is still very forgetful. It seems almost as if it is worse. I was able to enjoy a dinner out with Dee Huggins last week and she said that we should not despair, as Chip also went through periods that she felt he had regressed. Then he would come back a little stronger. It is our hope that this is not ‘as good as it gets’ for Paul in that area. It is a real problem for him and is the huge block to his being independent. When I start to get overly concerned about what this will all mean for Paul and the family, I remember that God took over almost 2 years ago. I have to sometimes say this out loud to make it happen – “Rebecca, let go of the steering wheel.” All things in God’s time, with His love. It always brings me peace.

He seems more in tune with his appearance. He actually turned down something sweet last week because he said he needed to watch his weight! He takes time to check out how his hair looks and asked to get a haircut, with very specific ideas about how he wanted it done. He no longer asks for those ugly brown velour pants either! Of course it could be because he has FORGOTTEN about them………..whatever. It works for me……………….smile.

He has about 3 more weeks at Shepherd Pathways. He meets with the vocational director this week to help guide him in choosing his career pathway. We will be following up with his eye doctor for reading glasses. Paul said his left eye doesn’t see as well as his right when he is reading.

His headaches are coming way down and staying there. We rarely see a level 6 or 7 headache anymore. He uses ice packs and exercises his chiropractor taught him to keep an oncoming headache away. If necessary, he will use Tylenol / Advil. He also has been given a new prescription to help the headache and Paul said it worked really well. It is for migraines specifically and it worked well the day Paul had a bad headache. So, through a combination of methods, Paul is doing well. He has been going strong for weeks. Jerry was commenting on how we could never plan anything fun for Paul for the next day because we never knew how he would feel. Now, we plan away and 99% of the time, the events are enjoyed. We are seeing more freedom in many ways. Thanks be to God for that.

With great love, and a loud voice we say,
May God bless you in this day!
Be Not Afraid to be His voice, His hands, His love.
They will know we are Christians by our love.

rafidero@bellsouth.net
fideroj@bellsouth.net


Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Play Me A Song

We had a meeting with the lead therapist at Shepherd Pathways yesterday. We had one last week, so I was a little surprised to have them call us in again. It was to get better clarification about Paul's goal in regards to returing to school. We learned that Paul had some concerns about going back to school and so we were called in to figure out the best way to attain the goal of his returning to college. We were glad to see that Paul was discussing his feelings about his future. The therapist wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page before she started to undertake the task of getting Paul back into school. When she talked to Paul, he seemed very uncertain about going back to school. He had a number of reasons why he didn't think it was the right time. But after we all discussed the obstacles he stated, we all decided that he would audit a class this next semester so that the discipline would be learned first. Then he can take classes for grades. It will make it an easier transition for him. It is very important that he enjoys and understands the process first. He decided he would go back to GSU because he was familiar with the campus. Also, his friend Gabriel attends GSU and they could share their experiences. Gabriel has been back in college for a year and is doing well taking 5 classes. He is so enthusiastic about being back in college and that positive attitude will help Paul as he begins his life again on a campus.

We found out that his reading comprehension is in the high range of 'above average'. That was the one area they needed to check since he will need to understand the material presented to him. They will now focus on other areas to see where he will be eligible for any special needs that the university can offer through the department that helps students with disabilities. The day long neuro-psych evaluation will not be done until next Spring, since he is only auditing a class. Since the test is done once a year, the therapist would rather wait until he has gotten back into college and his brain has continued to heal. That way, when he takes his first classes for grades, they will have a recent evaluation to give the university disability department. They will have an accurate assessment of his special needs at that time.

We were also told that the therapist who has a music degree worked with Paul and was very impressed with his knowledge of music theory and even more excited to see that he has a very trained ear. Even with the hearing loss, Thomas said that Paul showed great ability to hear and analyze music. They talked about other areas in the music industry that Paul might be interested in, now that he doesn't seem to have the passion for performing. Paul said he was interested in researching the career paths available in the area of music. He still loves music, just doesn't have the desire to perform. He will always want to play, but not for others like he used to. After we talked about all this, it was suggested that Paul be given a series of tests that will help the vocational director provide a number of careers to Paul, taking into account his talents and interests. He was very agreeable about taking that approach to helping him set goals for his future. He feels so vague about what he would want to do. One problem is that he has trouble thinking of all the different careers. He has to be given choices. We have seen that he has trouble coming up with solutions on his own. He needs to have choices presented and then will ask everyone else what they think before he makes up his mind. Our hope is that he will become more and more independent in his problem solving and will find the answers without so much assistance in some areas of his life. We are encouraged with the progress we keep seeing and liken it to a turtle race.... Slow and Steady. It is just one day at a time, which of course, is all anyone has!

His guitar teacher said that he was very pleased with the progress Paul made in the last 2 weeks. He is playing more assuredly and quickly. Jon had mentioned to Paul that he was playing well, but not with feeling. He said that Paul immediately played the song again and did exactly what Jon had suggested. At the lesson, Paul was trying so hard to play it well and his teacher commented also that he was playing well, but without emotion. Again, he played it over and was able to do it with more feeling. There is so much to remember and while it will take some time, Paul will have his talent back and will have this gift for life. When God asks Paul to play a song, it will be Paul's prayer of thanksgiving to God. Once again, the question I posed to God, "To what point and purpose?" has been answered with great feeling and clarity.

May God's words to you today be music to your ears.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

As Time Goes By

October 16th
Happy Birthday
Paul - It's been 23
wonderful
years.

(Today's post comes
after these pictures.
I couldn't include them
this morning.)

Paul's
first birthday.

Looks like Jon
is ready to blow
out 23 candles
instead of just one.

























Looking cool........































































Very Cool...........

Psalm 23

I woke up this morning and thought to myself as I lay in the dark, Paul is 23 today. I tried to remember what I was doing at the same time (5 AM) 23 years ago. I remember that Jon was out of town and was due back around 10 AM. As he walked in the door, I told him that I was sure I was going to have 'our daughter' that day. We had been told that this child would be a girl. The technician who did the sonogram swore it was a girl. So, we had this baby's name picked out too. Her name would be Mary Catherine. Needless to say, we were shocked when the doctor announced "It's a boy!" I looked at Jon and the first thing I thought was.......we don't have a name. Three days later, we decided that since our first son was given his dad's first name, our second son would have his dad's second name - Paul. I married Jon Paul and now I had 2 sons, Jon and Paul.

As I continued to think about all this, the thought came to mind - 23rd Psalm. I knew right away which one it was because I had heard it so many times in my life. I imagine just about everyone knows it by now. But I felt compelled to get up out of bed, get my bible and read it.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want;
he makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of my enemies;
thou annointest my head with oil,
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
____________

I reflected on these words and found peace - once again.
It is full of the promise of God's love for all of us. The valley of the shadow of death may denote the most severe trial or affliction, but the next words bring us comfort. For believers in God, it is only a walk through the valley, and they will not be lost in it. The promise is the mountain on the other side. God will tend to our needs as we walk through. Also, valleys are usually very green and fruitful. I can't help but think that while our lives take us through the valleys, it can be a time for great growth spiritually. In these times of sorrow or affliction we become very aware of the presence of God in our life. He lays us down in green pastures and He leads us beside still waters. I experienced this very vividly in the months following the accident. I was never so aware of God's peace and presence. I know that I have grown immensely in my faith and trust in the promise of God's love. The valleys should not be something to fear. They are paths of righteousness and God is with us. I visualized the path we have traversed and it has been fruitful indeed.

It reminded me of the time when I was also 23 years old. I decided to move to California from Houston and with $20 in my pocket and a gas credit card, I took off in my little red Toyota. God truly was by my side, as I was too young to think about the dangers of that trip! I didn't tell my parents until I was on my way. I knew every word they would say to me, so I waited until I was a good distance away before I had to have that conversation. ( To all young people who may be reading this..............it was a very thoughtless, reckless thing to do and it is by the grace of God I got there safely. It was a few months later that a co-worker told me about her friend's sister who did not make it safely.) But there is one vision I will never forget about that trip. As I was driving 50 m.p.h. through the desert in southern Arizona, in the afternoon on a very hot day in August, I was genuinely afraid about how alone I was. I had a gallon of water for my radiator and a gallon of lemonade for me. I was told to keep my heater running to help keep the engine cool. I had the windows down and the air blowing in the windows was no relief at all. I was praying like a mad fool, begging God to keep me safe and deliver me to the shores of the Pacific. It was about 5 P.M. and in the distance there seemed to be a long line of darkness on the horizon. I was not sure what it was, but as I kept driving I noticed that it was getting taller, ever so slowly. The highway was flat ahead of me and it seemed to go on forever. But this darkness on the horizon had my attention. After awhile I realized it was the mountain range that separated Arizona and California. Watching those mountains loom ahead of me made my fear lesson. I had a focus - I was almost there. I was within sight of my destination. Just like our 'dark valleys' in life, we are not lost in them, but our faith in God's promise to us, help us hold fast to the comfort of the mountain on the other side. As those mountains got closer and loomed higher above me, I felt no fear, but only pure joy. As my little car wound its way through the mountains, the air was very cool and I could enjoy the fresh air blowing all around me. I thanked God over and over for helping me arrive safely and for the beauty of those mountains. I was very much aware of the presence of God on that trip West. And I am very much aware of God's presence on this trip West with Paul.

The mountains are looming ahead of us. Paul is benefiting from his therapy at a place called Shepherd Pathways.............funny old world isn't it?? That he is at Shepherd Pathways on his 23rd birthday..........

We had a meeting with his therapists and they are very encouraged with the progress he is making. They told us about a group of optometrists who specialize in neuro patients who have suffered traumatic injuries to the eyes. They are making an appointment for Paul because they believe he will benefit from their experience. Paul's left eye has made great progress in keeping up with his right eye movements. He does his eye therapy everyday and uses only his left eye for computer work and reading. He wears sun glasses that have been taped on the right side, to force the muscles in the left eye to work harder. When he looks at me, he will stare for a moment and then says, "I see only one". It doesn't last a long time, but he is able to get the focus for a few moments.

His testing so far has shown he is working on at least a 12th grade level. There are more tests they will be running to get a full assessment of his cognitive skills. He will also be given tests to help him determine his talents, strengths and weaknesses. He can use this to help guide him into a career other than music if that is what he wants. He isn't sure about music, but we think it is because he feels inadequate with his playing ability. He plays slower than before, but his teacher feels he should be able to gain back his skills fairly quickly - maybe as little as 3 months.

He will finish his physical therapy this week. He is strong physically, but needs to get back to the gym for consistent workouts. He will be going to an office supply store this week to get a DayRunner organizer. They are going to work with him in scheduling his own time each day and not wait to be told what he will be doing next. He is going to write in his appointments and therapies, work schedules and social activities for the week. He will be working on telling us what his schedule is, not the other way around. They are trying to get him back to the days before the accident, where his life was his own and he made his own plans. The long term goal will be to get him ready for the battery of tests they will need to do to prove he is able to drive a car very safely. I know I will be praying like a mad fool again, the day he starts to drive again! I will have to keep the vision in my mind of God being his Shepherd, just as He was with me my long trip to the West.

This past weekend, Jerry took Paul to Birmingham to see the play, "Phantom of the Opera". Paul had a fantastic time and talked so much about the music. He really enjoyed the fact that the orchestra was right there in front of the stage. He said he could not help but watch the conductor as he synchronized the music to the acting. He was really fascinated by that. It is when he talks about music that I know he still has a passion for it. I think he is just overwhelmed with the whole concept of college. But God will be his Shepherd.

May goodness and mercy follow you as you dwell in the house of the Lord today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca