Running On Empty

Michael on the far left

Great picture - both
feet off the ground.

Uncle Jim dubbed him
"Mercury Mike"



So, one year later, we again look back at where we were last year at this time and can't believe the long way we've come! Last year, we were driving home from our very first visit with Dr. McLanahan and he had given us so much hope about being able to help Paul. It took us 7 hours to get home from Charlotte that day before Thanksgiving. We were wiped out from it all, but we were so joyous that we had a promise of help on the horizon. We had no idea that it would take 4 surgeries to accomplish the task, but completed it is. Praise God for all the recovery that Paul has gained.

Two years ago, Paul was still in his coma and Jon and James were driving home during the night to be with us on Thanksgiving. It was a very strange day for us, but it too ended with much hope. Paul had moved his right arm as his brother Jon played songs that they had recorded. Then, while we were praying the rosary as we all stood around his hospital bed, Paul yawned. We started to believe Paul might be coming out of his coma. It would be around 11 PM on Thanksgiving night that Paul woke from his coma and the nurse who was on duty knew we would learn of it the next morning. Thanksgiving has taken on a much deeper meaning for our family, that is for sure. Not only were we given the gift of Paul's life, we were given a gift of a closer relationship with God. Those gifts brought us to a new pathway - one that continually brings so much hope and trust in God's unconditional love. One that has taught us that God will help us in His way and time, if we allow it.

All of you know our story and have seen that God has worked so many miracles and has shown so many signs of His love. The recovery has been slowly progressing and the outcome is not known, but we are sure that God has been in charge. We are sure that any purpose God has for each of us will come to pass if we stay on this pathway. We are sure that we are each called by name and that we have our own ‘point and purpose’ in the world. We just have to stay in touch with God or we will surely lose our way. In the past few weeks I have really been trying hard to make it to Mass each day, like we used to do before Paul’s accident. Our lives have become so full again with lots of assorted activities outside of our jobs and I have found it very hard to get up so early in the morning. I have also been experiencing more migraine headaches lately. I have tried to remember that Paul would still get up and try to function each day with his constant headaches and that has sometimes been the ‘push’ I needed to get up and get ready. Other times I would ask Jon at night to keep after me until I actually sat up and got going. I have tried the ‘guilt’ tactic on myself, the pep talk, the promise of coming back home and sleeping for a half hour before going to work, the reminder of how Jesus suffered and surely my fatigue did not compare………………sometimes it would help, but lately, I have been so tired from all that is going on in our lives, with the added lack of sleep from my migraines, nothing was getting me out of bed. So, I talked to a priest about it and said that I could not believe my lack of discipline and how I should be the first one showing up each morning. My sons were alive and healthy, I have a grandchild on the way, I have a loving husband, a steady income, a nice home, incredible friends and family. The priest reminded me that I should ask myself how I would like it if God told me that He didn’t have time to take care of my needs today, but would try to get back to me in a couple of days or so. Jesus has invited us to be with Him every day and to receive the gift of His body and blood and the graces that brings. There is no more beautiful gift on earth. Of course, I know this to be true, but hearing this priest talk about it helped me have a true desire to be with Jesus each day. While getting up each morning is a discipline, the desire to be with Jesus was there. Oh what a battle between the flesh and the spirit. I am so weak a person and I cannot believe how easy it is to lose a discipline. For me anyway! So, all this is leading to what happened to me this morning. I had a really bad migraine which had me awake at 4:00 A.M. Jon gets up at 4:00 each morning and says the rosary, reads the news online, brings me a cup of coffee, then gets his shower. His discipline is exemplary. I always try to attain just a little of it, but seem to fail miserably. I am not a 4 A.M. kind of person. Nor a 5, 6 or 7. Eight is good.
Anyway, I was up and asked Jon if he would bring me an aspirin with my cup of coffee. I fell asleep before he came back upstairs and so did not even hear him bring my coffee. He was getting ready to leave and I heard him walk into the room. I looked at the clock and it was 5:50. It was almost too late for me to get to church on time. I asked him why he had not gotten me up and he said that he knew I was feeling poorly and he felt I needed to sleep more than anything since I had a long day ahead of me with everyone coming home for the weekend. I almost stayed in bed, but then I knew I would have so much more peace in my day if I made it to Mass. I sat up in bed to see if I could handle the pain in my head and there was a dried rose petal on the side of my pillow. I picked it up and told Jon that apparently, someone wanted me at Mass that day. I thought to myself that it must be Mary or St. Therese. The rose petal must have fallen out of the book we are using for the devotion of the Consecration to Mary. It is a 30 day novena and we are on day 16. I have been reading this book for 16 days now and I had not ever noticed the rose petal in it. But it finally must have fallen out the night before and landed on my pillow. That is the only way I can think of it being there. (I have saved rose petals from the garden outside the adoration chapel at Corpus Christi and placed them in my Magnificat prayer book, but I haven’t done it in years. At some point, I must have placed one in this devotional book .) So, I got up and raced as fast as I could to get ready in time. Amazingly, the priest had also overslept and so I was not late. The absolutely best part was when I opened my Magnificat book and saw that it was the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I got tears in my eyes from the joy I felt in that moment. Our sweet Blessed Mother had helped me up this morning and I thanked her over and over for her help. I knew instantly that it was her because we are right in the middle of our Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which will be finished on December 8th. That is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Of course it would be Mary who would help me come to be with Her Son, Jesus! Then, in his homily, Father quoted St. Therese! So, it looks like I was tag-teamed!

I have been running on empty, but with God’s grace, will get back on track.

That brings me to some very exciting news. Last Saturday, we went to Michael’s end of the season Sports Award Banquet. He has been running cross country at college. He joined the team because he had started running last Summer and wanted to continue running. He was not expected to be much of a runner because he had had no prior experience or training. It turns out that after all those years of being chased by James and staying out of reach of the ‘strike zone’, Michael is a decent runner. He has been the #2 man on the team. Last Saturday, the team came back from their last run of the season and Michael greeted us with the statement, “Your boy is going to Kansas City.” He then told us that he had just finished running the qualifying race to the National Junior Olympics! He was the 20th runner to finish, which was the cut off. He had fallen too! His coaches told us that they were so happy with his ability and said that we should be so proud of him since he had no prior experiences. They are going to be working with him to help him do his best at the final meet. He will need to be in the top 25 to be recognized on the national level. While he may not make that goal, he may now be eligible to receive an athletic scholarship next year. I cannot tell you who was more excited about all this – Michael or his parents. We were so shocked. As we were saying goodbye to him to come back home, we were talking about our faith and how many blessings we have received. I told Michael to be sure to pray and thank God for all He has done for him. He told us that he says his rosary every day and then said, “I was on my knees praying the rosary this morning before I ran.” I hugged him so hard and told him I was more happy to hear that than hearing about his going to the National Junior Olympics. It will be his praying the rosary that will keep him from ‘Running on Empty.”

On Friday, we will be driving to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament so Paul can play his guitar for the nuns. They asked us to be there at 2:30. Paul has been practicing a lot and today called me to tell me some really good news. He said he all of a sudden remembered some of the training he had received a couple of years ago, and it has helped him play with a more fluid movement. He immediately showed Jon and me as soon as we got home from work. It was really neat to see him so enthused about it. There was a lot of chaos when we got home because James had just pulled into the driveway also, and there was a lot of hugging going on. James brought home 3 students from Ave Maria – his girlfriend Shannon, and Joe and Lillian (brother and sister). Right after we all walked inside, Paul pulled out his guitar to show Jon and me what he remembered. He played the songs really well. He truly is ready to play his songs for the nuns.

He continually is improving in the level of headache pain and the frequency. We have dropped one prescription drug that he took twice a day and have dropped a dose of the other prescription pain medication. He occasionally will take an Advil to get him over the pain of a headache and the headache levels are no higher than 5. He is also not wearing his sunglasses as much. Each day he wears them less and less. On Sunday, Jon and I were asked to bring up the gifts at the Offertory. After the gifts were taken from us, Father Paddy took our hands and blessed us, then said, “I saw Paul at the 5 o’clock Mass last night and his eye looks grand. He is looking so much better, praise be to God.” We have had so many people tell us how wonderful he is looking. When I think back to July and our first visit to the Shrine, Paul has improved a great deal. I am sure the nuns will be so pleased to see how far he has recovered since that time. A visible sign of prayers being answered.

We wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving day. May you feel His love pouring out from heaven, bringing you peace and joy.

Love,
The Fidero Family