Psalm 23

I woke up this morning and thought to myself as I lay in the dark, Paul is 23 today. I tried to remember what I was doing at the same time (5 AM) 23 years ago. I remember that Jon was out of town and was due back around 10 AM. As he walked in the door, I told him that I was sure I was going to have 'our daughter' that day. We had been told that this child would be a girl. The technician who did the sonogram swore it was a girl. So, we had this baby's name picked out too. Her name would be Mary Catherine. Needless to say, we were shocked when the doctor announced "It's a boy!" I looked at Jon and the first thing I thought was.......we don't have a name. Three days later, we decided that since our first son was given his dad's first name, our second son would have his dad's second name - Paul. I married Jon Paul and now I had 2 sons, Jon and Paul.

As I continued to think about all this, the thought came to mind - 23rd Psalm. I knew right away which one it was because I had heard it so many times in my life. I imagine just about everyone knows it by now. But I felt compelled to get up out of bed, get my bible and read it.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want;
he makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of my enemies;
thou annointest my head with oil,
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
____________

I reflected on these words and found peace - once again.
It is full of the promise of God's love for all of us. The valley of the shadow of death may denote the most severe trial or affliction, but the next words bring us comfort. For believers in God, it is only a walk through the valley, and they will not be lost in it. The promise is the mountain on the other side. God will tend to our needs as we walk through. Also, valleys are usually very green and fruitful. I can't help but think that while our lives take us through the valleys, it can be a time for great growth spiritually. In these times of sorrow or affliction we become very aware of the presence of God in our life. He lays us down in green pastures and He leads us beside still waters. I experienced this very vividly in the months following the accident. I was never so aware of God's peace and presence. I know that I have grown immensely in my faith and trust in the promise of God's love. The valleys should not be something to fear. They are paths of righteousness and God is with us. I visualized the path we have traversed and it has been fruitful indeed.

It reminded me of the time when I was also 23 years old. I decided to move to California from Houston and with $20 in my pocket and a gas credit card, I took off in my little red Toyota. God truly was by my side, as I was too young to think about the dangers of that trip! I didn't tell my parents until I was on my way. I knew every word they would say to me, so I waited until I was a good distance away before I had to have that conversation. ( To all young people who may be reading this..............it was a very thoughtless, reckless thing to do and it is by the grace of God I got there safely. It was a few months later that a co-worker told me about her friend's sister who did not make it safely.) But there is one vision I will never forget about that trip. As I was driving 50 m.p.h. through the desert in southern Arizona, in the afternoon on a very hot day in August, I was genuinely afraid about how alone I was. I had a gallon of water for my radiator and a gallon of lemonade for me. I was told to keep my heater running to help keep the engine cool. I had the windows down and the air blowing in the windows was no relief at all. I was praying like a mad fool, begging God to keep me safe and deliver me to the shores of the Pacific. It was about 5 P.M. and in the distance there seemed to be a long line of darkness on the horizon. I was not sure what it was, but as I kept driving I noticed that it was getting taller, ever so slowly. The highway was flat ahead of me and it seemed to go on forever. But this darkness on the horizon had my attention. After awhile I realized it was the mountain range that separated Arizona and California. Watching those mountains loom ahead of me made my fear lesson. I had a focus - I was almost there. I was within sight of my destination. Just like our 'dark valleys' in life, we are not lost in them, but our faith in God's promise to us, help us hold fast to the comfort of the mountain on the other side. As those mountains got closer and loomed higher above me, I felt no fear, but only pure joy. As my little car wound its way through the mountains, the air was very cool and I could enjoy the fresh air blowing all around me. I thanked God over and over for helping me arrive safely and for the beauty of those mountains. I was very much aware of the presence of God on that trip West. And I am very much aware of God's presence on this trip West with Paul.

The mountains are looming ahead of us. Paul is benefiting from his therapy at a place called Shepherd Pathways.............funny old world isn't it?? That he is at Shepherd Pathways on his 23rd birthday..........

We had a meeting with his therapists and they are very encouraged with the progress he is making. They told us about a group of optometrists who specialize in neuro patients who have suffered traumatic injuries to the eyes. They are making an appointment for Paul because they believe he will benefit from their experience. Paul's left eye has made great progress in keeping up with his right eye movements. He does his eye therapy everyday and uses only his left eye for computer work and reading. He wears sun glasses that have been taped on the right side, to force the muscles in the left eye to work harder. When he looks at me, he will stare for a moment and then says, "I see only one". It doesn't last a long time, but he is able to get the focus for a few moments.

His testing so far has shown he is working on at least a 12th grade level. There are more tests they will be running to get a full assessment of his cognitive skills. He will also be given tests to help him determine his talents, strengths and weaknesses. He can use this to help guide him into a career other than music if that is what he wants. He isn't sure about music, but we think it is because he feels inadequate with his playing ability. He plays slower than before, but his teacher feels he should be able to gain back his skills fairly quickly - maybe as little as 3 months.

He will finish his physical therapy this week. He is strong physically, but needs to get back to the gym for consistent workouts. He will be going to an office supply store this week to get a DayRunner organizer. They are going to work with him in scheduling his own time each day and not wait to be told what he will be doing next. He is going to write in his appointments and therapies, work schedules and social activities for the week. He will be working on telling us what his schedule is, not the other way around. They are trying to get him back to the days before the accident, where his life was his own and he made his own plans. The long term goal will be to get him ready for the battery of tests they will need to do to prove he is able to drive a car very safely. I know I will be praying like a mad fool again, the day he starts to drive again! I will have to keep the vision in my mind of God being his Shepherd, just as He was with me my long trip to the West.

This past weekend, Jerry took Paul to Birmingham to see the play, "Phantom of the Opera". Paul had a fantastic time and talked so much about the music. He really enjoyed the fact that the orchestra was right there in front of the stage. He said he could not help but watch the conductor as he synchronized the music to the acting. He was really fascinated by that. It is when he talks about music that I know he still has a passion for it. I think he is just overwhelmed with the whole concept of college. But God will be his Shepherd.

May goodness and mercy follow you as you dwell in the house of the Lord today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca