(My lunch hour is over and I am still having trouble getting the pictures to copy - will continue my efforts!)
I have to admit, I could hear the voice of Paul's dad in my head as I let Paul get in the driver's seat.........."ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?!" I was very nervous as I let him drive, but was at total ease when Paul parked the car and put it in gear and turned it off. He did so well and was very careful about it. While he is not ready for the 'real' traffic in Atlanta, he handled the neighborhood very well. Also, I have to give credit where credit is due. I mentioned to Paul and Jerry that I needed to think of a title for the blog concerning Paul's driving. Paul immediately came over to me and started to sing, "Baby you can drive my car".........and we both sang the rest of the verse together. A very fun moment! He told me that I missed the beat though!
Speaking of beats.......
The other thing that Paul did this weekend was terrific also. We went to the store to do a little grocery shopping. I gave him the grocery list while I waited for the deli clerk. I asked him to get the vegetables and fruit in the produce section. He took the list and the first thing on it was beets. James had written the list for me and he had written 'beats' and Paul tapped the cart 3 times and said, "There's your 'beats'. He then said that he knew James really meant to write 'beets'. He walked away and I watched him look for the beets. He could not find them (I was not even sure he knew what they looked like, since I have never in my life purchased them. I thought I hated beets. I found out that I like beets that have been juiced, but not pickled, after Jon made a great veggie smoothy when he was home last.) When he could not find them, I figured he would come back to me or just go to the next item on the list. Instead, he went to a produce clerk who was working in the fruit section and asked where the beets were. The man walked him over to the general area and pointed. Paul still could not find the beets, and he picked up a weird looking bunch of greens and walked over to an older lady and asked her if what he had was beets. She walked back over and could not find the beets either. I had just gotten my order, so walked over to Paul and he said right away that he could not find the beets. I looked and only by chance saw the color of beets in some leaves underneath what Paul had picked up. The beets were way underneath. The lady who had helped Paul came over and she said, "I couldn't find them- where were they?" I showed her and she told Paul she was sorry she had not seen them. Paul said, "In my defense, I was not really sure what beets looked like." Smile. He finished shopping for the rest of the items without a problem He is slow walking, but is thinking more quickly these days!
If you ever have any doubts that any of your prayers were not heard...........go back to the first few pages of this site and you will believe in the power of prayer like we do!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Monday, July 31, 2006
Baby You Can Drive My Car
( Pictures would not post, will try them later this afternoon)
The Gospel yesterday was from John 6:1-15. That gospel came to mind today as I started to write this blog. I have heard it so many times, and again, there was a new meaning for me. The miracle of the fish and loaves feeding about 5,000 people who had followed Jesus to hear him speak. It occurred to me today that I had been ready last week to settle for two fish and five loaves. I told Jon just last Sunday, that if Paul were to remain limited in his cognitive abilities or stalled at a child-like stage mentally, I was at peace with that. I said this because I was learning so much about prayer and total trust in God from Paul's behavior. He unabashedly breaks out into prayer when he feels there is something to thank God for or to ask for help. He talks to God throughout the day in either reverent prayer or simple conversation, even laughing and joking as he speaks to Our Father. Just as a son does with his eartly father. Paul is never embarrassed by his vocal prayerfulness. Because of his beautiful example of a more pure love of God, I truly felt peace last Sunday about the possibility that we might have to be Paul's caregivers for life. Just as I had found peace in my heart when I was faced with Paul's probable death 3 days after his accident, when the blood clot was supposed to block the blood flow in his brain . Both times, I felt a very deep hurt inside, but after totalling surrendering myself to God's strength, I was able to feel peace about it, knowing that prayers for God's will to be done are answered. I prayed that I would be given the grace to accept and to only come to love Jesus more perfectly.
God's will was that Paul would live longer and that he would have more abundance in his life. After I settled in with my 2 fish and 5 loaves, God in his kindness showed me there was more. On Saturday, I got up very early and went out to the garden to pull some weeds and do it while it was only 84 degrees instead of 96! Jon, Mike and James took a quick trip to Topsail Island, NC to meet Jon and Marie at Aunt Mary Beth and Uncle Mike's house. It was going to be a win-win situation. Jon and the boys could have a father/son weekend and I could have a bit of peace and quiet before the trip down to Savannah. Also, they would all get to see their cousin/nephew Michael, who joined the Marines and would be at the house also. James and Michael are the same age and have been close throughout the years, so it was a huge treat for James to see him before he leaves for Austria in August and before Michael gets his orders to ship out. I got Paul up around 9:45 AM after I realized this would not be a day that Paul would wake up on his own.....smile. I made him a big breakfast and he ate it all. I told him we had to go to Walmart and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said, "No please............anywhere but Walmart." I hate going there and Saturday is the worst, so I said we would go elsewhere to get the things I needed. I have 2 bird feeders and they had been empty for days, and I primarily wanted to get them filled before I lost my 'flocks' to another feeding station! On our way home, I don't remember how the conversation found its way to the subject of driving, but I remember asking Paul, "Do you really think you could drive and do it well?" He said he didn't know why not. He said that while he would prefer driving with 2 eyes, that was his only drawback. As we pulled into our subdivision, I asked if he wanted to try it. He was very comfortable saying yes. I stopped on a side street so that he could test the brakes and gas pedal to get a feel for it. Before he started, he even remembered that I always put on the emergency brake (it's supposed to help the wear and tear on the transmission....smile) and he released it. I was just about to tell him that it was on, but he must have remembered. Then he drove to the stop sign, checked the traffic and made his left turn. He made a very smooth turn, and drove up the street. He got to the speed bump, and slowed to about 5 mph. I laughed and asked him if that is how he wanted me to do it in the future and he said that it was more comfortable at that speed. I thanked him for the 'visual aid' and said I would make sure to do it that way in the future. At the next stop sign, a car was coming from his left. It had its right blinker on, as I was starting to tell him to not go because a blinker isn't a sure thing and he was already saying he would wait until the car actually made its turn! He drove home and I said to park the car behind his dad's. He asked me if that was because I didn't think he could park it where it usually is - between the garage door and Jon's car - a bit of a tight squeeze. I said, "No, we will be going out later and it is easier to back up straight than manuever out of that spot." He thought I didn't trust him and that is why he questioned me.
We called his dad to let him know he had driven and there was excitement on that end of the phone line as Jon told Paul's brothers, who were standing with him. We called the California Fids, but missed them. We went to the neighbor's house and told Bob and Barb. It was so exciting for us. I don't think Paul had the level of excitement that I did.........he said it was basically like riding a bike. It came to him naturally and he was very comfortable driving. He was very smooth in all the motions, no abrupt stopping or starting. No wide turns. At one point, he had to go around something on our side of the road and he commented that he had to get back into his lane of traffic. He joked that he would get over without 'jacking' a tree. Then he immediately said, "Sorry, that was a bad joke Mom." Later, he said he was so sorry that he has caused the family so much saddness and trouble because of his accident. I told him that we had gained far more grace and gifts from God than he knew and that it was truly an 'accident'. It was not done with malice or recklessness. It was mostly inexperience, but it was an important lesson to remember - pay very close attention when driving. He said he sure would remember that.
Sunday, we went to Mass and we sat by Jerry. Paul participated fully. He used the prayer and song books and followed along. At one point, we had not heard the song number, so I put my book down and was just going to listen. Paul turned around and checked out some one else's book to see the song number, then found it in the book. He solved his problem. As the song ended, he raised his hand in a movement of 'conducting' and was right on the mark with the ending of the song. He smiled at me, knowing he had done it in complete unison with the choir. He walked by himself to receive Communion, and after Mass, he walked up to the picture of the Mother of Perpetual Help and he lit 4 candles, praying out loud each intention he had. Then we left and Jerry came over to have breakfast with us. Later, Paul took a nap. I told him at 3 PM we would go up to St. Stephens to pray the Stations of the Cross. I was vacuuming and it was about 3:11. I stopped working and as I turned around, Paul was right behind me. I almost screamed because it took me by surprise. I had fully expected to have to go up to get him and here he was behind me. He said he had called downstairs at 3:00 and I had not answered the phone, so he got up and got ready and was coming down to tell me we were late! The hour and 1/2 spent in praying the Stations of the Cross and also the prayers to Our Mother of Perpetual Help were the best part of my entire weekend. I could almost 'touch' the peace that surrounded me as I walked around the sanctuary, following Paul and listening to him pray to Jesus at each station. He touched the foot and lower leg of Jesus on one of the sculptures and he said, "As you know Jesus, I won't touch anything but your foot and leg, since I am not worthy to even touch your foot that walks on the dirt. I am sorry for my sins that caused you to die for me." I have truly received more than 2 fish and 5 loaves in this weekend! I keep learning more how to pray with child-like confidence and love.
Paul again drove home from the same spot in our neighborhood. He then asked me what I wanted for dinner. I said I would like a roast beef dinner, but it was too late to start that. He asked where I would go if we went out to eat. I mentioned a place and he said, "Number One, let's go and number two - I am paying!" (I know those of you who know Paul really well are as shocked at reading this as I was at the offer.............Paul rarely paid before!) He called Jerry and asked him to join us, because he wanted to do something special for Jerry since he had spent every day of his vacation with our family last week. We went to dinner and Paul took the bill and paid for it. He knew the tip amount within 2 seconds and filled it all out. He was very careful about checking to see that he had put his wallet back into his pocket before we left the table. I was happy to see that he was totally aware of the fact that he does not remember everything very easily. He drove home from the 'usual spot' for Jerry and Jerry took pictures of it. I had been so disappointed that I had not brought mine, then Jerry pulled his out as Paul was driving! I told him that we would need pictures, because I was sure no one would believe me when I wrote it!
There is more to tell about this weekend, but work begins and I have written enough to keep you busy for too long!
"The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
The eyes of all look hopefully to you,
and you give them their food in due season;
you open your hand and
satisfy the desire of every living thing."
May you be filled with abundant peace and love in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
The Gospel yesterday was from John 6:1-15. That gospel came to mind today as I started to write this blog. I have heard it so many times, and again, there was a new meaning for me. The miracle of the fish and loaves feeding about 5,000 people who had followed Jesus to hear him speak. It occurred to me today that I had been ready last week to settle for two fish and five loaves. I told Jon just last Sunday, that if Paul were to remain limited in his cognitive abilities or stalled at a child-like stage mentally, I was at peace with that. I said this because I was learning so much about prayer and total trust in God from Paul's behavior. He unabashedly breaks out into prayer when he feels there is something to thank God for or to ask for help. He talks to God throughout the day in either reverent prayer or simple conversation, even laughing and joking as he speaks to Our Father. Just as a son does with his eartly father. Paul is never embarrassed by his vocal prayerfulness. Because of his beautiful example of a more pure love of God, I truly felt peace last Sunday about the possibility that we might have to be Paul's caregivers for life. Just as I had found peace in my heart when I was faced with Paul's probable death 3 days after his accident, when the blood clot was supposed to block the blood flow in his brain . Both times, I felt a very deep hurt inside, but after totalling surrendering myself to God's strength, I was able to feel peace about it, knowing that prayers for God's will to be done are answered. I prayed that I would be given the grace to accept and to only come to love Jesus more perfectly.
God's will was that Paul would live longer and that he would have more abundance in his life. After I settled in with my 2 fish and 5 loaves, God in his kindness showed me there was more. On Saturday, I got up very early and went out to the garden to pull some weeds and do it while it was only 84 degrees instead of 96! Jon, Mike and James took a quick trip to Topsail Island, NC to meet Jon and Marie at Aunt Mary Beth and Uncle Mike's house. It was going to be a win-win situation. Jon and the boys could have a father/son weekend and I could have a bit of peace and quiet before the trip down to Savannah. Also, they would all get to see their cousin/nephew Michael, who joined the Marines and would be at the house also. James and Michael are the same age and have been close throughout the years, so it was a huge treat for James to see him before he leaves for Austria in August and before Michael gets his orders to ship out. I got Paul up around 9:45 AM after I realized this would not be a day that Paul would wake up on his own.....smile. I made him a big breakfast and he ate it all. I told him we had to go to Walmart and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said, "No please............anywhere but Walmart." I hate going there and Saturday is the worst, so I said we would go elsewhere to get the things I needed. I have 2 bird feeders and they had been empty for days, and I primarily wanted to get them filled before I lost my 'flocks' to another feeding station! On our way home, I don't remember how the conversation found its way to the subject of driving, but I remember asking Paul, "Do you really think you could drive and do it well?" He said he didn't know why not. He said that while he would prefer driving with 2 eyes, that was his only drawback. As we pulled into our subdivision, I asked if he wanted to try it. He was very comfortable saying yes. I stopped on a side street so that he could test the brakes and gas pedal to get a feel for it. Before he started, he even remembered that I always put on the emergency brake (it's supposed to help the wear and tear on the transmission....smile) and he released it. I was just about to tell him that it was on, but he must have remembered. Then he drove to the stop sign, checked the traffic and made his left turn. He made a very smooth turn, and drove up the street. He got to the speed bump, and slowed to about 5 mph. I laughed and asked him if that is how he wanted me to do it in the future and he said that it was more comfortable at that speed. I thanked him for the 'visual aid' and said I would make sure to do it that way in the future. At the next stop sign, a car was coming from his left. It had its right blinker on, as I was starting to tell him to not go because a blinker isn't a sure thing and he was already saying he would wait until the car actually made its turn! He drove home and I said to park the car behind his dad's. He asked me if that was because I didn't think he could park it where it usually is - between the garage door and Jon's car - a bit of a tight squeeze. I said, "No, we will be going out later and it is easier to back up straight than manuever out of that spot." He thought I didn't trust him and that is why he questioned me.
We called his dad to let him know he had driven and there was excitement on that end of the phone line as Jon told Paul's brothers, who were standing with him. We called the California Fids, but missed them. We went to the neighbor's house and told Bob and Barb. It was so exciting for us. I don't think Paul had the level of excitement that I did.........he said it was basically like riding a bike. It came to him naturally and he was very comfortable driving. He was very smooth in all the motions, no abrupt stopping or starting. No wide turns. At one point, he had to go around something on our side of the road and he commented that he had to get back into his lane of traffic. He joked that he would get over without 'jacking' a tree. Then he immediately said, "Sorry, that was a bad joke Mom." Later, he said he was so sorry that he has caused the family so much saddness and trouble because of his accident. I told him that we had gained far more grace and gifts from God than he knew and that it was truly an 'accident'. It was not done with malice or recklessness. It was mostly inexperience, but it was an important lesson to remember - pay very close attention when driving. He said he sure would remember that.
Sunday, we went to Mass and we sat by Jerry. Paul participated fully. He used the prayer and song books and followed along. At one point, we had not heard the song number, so I put my book down and was just going to listen. Paul turned around and checked out some one else's book to see the song number, then found it in the book. He solved his problem. As the song ended, he raised his hand in a movement of 'conducting' and was right on the mark with the ending of the song. He smiled at me, knowing he had done it in complete unison with the choir. He walked by himself to receive Communion, and after Mass, he walked up to the picture of the Mother of Perpetual Help and he lit 4 candles, praying out loud each intention he had. Then we left and Jerry came over to have breakfast with us. Later, Paul took a nap. I told him at 3 PM we would go up to St. Stephens to pray the Stations of the Cross. I was vacuuming and it was about 3:11. I stopped working and as I turned around, Paul was right behind me. I almost screamed because it took me by surprise. I had fully expected to have to go up to get him and here he was behind me. He said he had called downstairs at 3:00 and I had not answered the phone, so he got up and got ready and was coming down to tell me we were late! The hour and 1/2 spent in praying the Stations of the Cross and also the prayers to Our Mother of Perpetual Help were the best part of my entire weekend. I could almost 'touch' the peace that surrounded me as I walked around the sanctuary, following Paul and listening to him pray to Jesus at each station. He touched the foot and lower leg of Jesus on one of the sculptures and he said, "As you know Jesus, I won't touch anything but your foot and leg, since I am not worthy to even touch your foot that walks on the dirt. I am sorry for my sins that caused you to die for me." I have truly received more than 2 fish and 5 loaves in this weekend! I keep learning more how to pray with child-like confidence and love.
Paul again drove home from the same spot in our neighborhood. He then asked me what I wanted for dinner. I said I would like a roast beef dinner, but it was too late to start that. He asked where I would go if we went out to eat. I mentioned a place and he said, "Number One, let's go and number two - I am paying!" (I know those of you who know Paul really well are as shocked at reading this as I was at the offer.............Paul rarely paid before!) He called Jerry and asked him to join us, because he wanted to do something special for Jerry since he had spent every day of his vacation with our family last week. We went to dinner and Paul took the bill and paid for it. He knew the tip amount within 2 seconds and filled it all out. He was very careful about checking to see that he had put his wallet back into his pocket before we left the table. I was happy to see that he was totally aware of the fact that he does not remember everything very easily. He drove home from the 'usual spot' for Jerry and Jerry took pictures of it. I had been so disappointed that I had not brought mine, then Jerry pulled his out as Paul was driving! I told him that we would need pictures, because I was sure no one would believe me when I wrote it!
There is more to tell about this weekend, but work begins and I have written enough to keep you busy for too long!
"The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
The eyes of all look hopefully to you,
and you give them their food in due season;
you open your hand and
satisfy the desire of every living thing."
May you be filled with abundant peace and love in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Come to the Water
(I apologize - the pictures posted in opposite order of occurrence)
Stepahine and Kelly showed great support the whole time
Paul started to do excercises on his own.
James helping Paul down the steps, making sure he didn't lose his balance.
Stephanie stood by Paul as he got used to the water
Paul put on sun screen as he was worried about burning
(hence the long sleeve shirt)
Taking a walk with Abby Dog
"For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land - a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills" (Deut 8:7)
James, Stephanie and Kelly took Paul swimming today after being invited by Dr. Dee Huggins to use her neighborhood pool. (Thank you so much Dee for your kind offer!) Paul spent 2 hours swimming and doing excercises. He had a really terrific time. In fact, when James asked him if he was ready to go, Paul asked, "Leave?" James then said, "Yeah, we are going to need to leave, mom's going to be home soon." Paul responded, "Now?" Stephanie said they were surprised that Paul did not want to go, since he is always the first one to say "I need to go home now." Kelly told me that Paul got active in the water early on and started to do arm and leg excercises on his own. He handled the brightness of the sun also. He had a headache when he got home, so he took some Tylenol and rested for about a half hour. We then went out to eat to celebrate the last night that Kelly and Stephanie would be with us. Joe and Bev (my sister) joined us, as did Jerry. It was a huge day for Paul........once again. Absolutely an incredible day for him. Also, it was the most beautiful summer day we have had. The humidity was very low, the sky was vivid blue with the most beautiful white clouds. When I came out of work, I literally stopped and stayed gazing up for a full 5 minutes. I called Bev to see if she was still at her desk, as I was going to tell her to come outside immediately to see how glorious the sky was. She was already on her way home, but she said she too had stood for awhile to enjoy the view. God's gifts to us are a constant wonderment for me.
Paul has shown amazing strength and endurance in the last 2 days. We have all been stunned at the amount of progress he has made and the level of activity he has engaged in. Stephanie and Kelly have truly brought the best out in him. He tries so hard to accomplish goals they have set with him. Jon and I have stood back and watched with great thankfulness to God!
There is one other wonderful occurrence and that happened on Tuesday night. I was changing the tape on Paul's eye and since he was not in a lot of pain, I tried to do some eye excercises with him. While covering his right eye (the good eye), he was able to read the words on the cover of a book. The print has to be about 1/2 inch, and then he can read it. I then asked him to try to close his eyelid on his left eye. He was able to do this 4 times, although it took about 30 mintues to accomplish this. I was so excited to see him open and close his eyelid - no matter how long it took! I ran downstairs and told the girls and we rejoiced that they were here for this big occasion. Today, I was working with Paul again, and called the girls upstairs. Paul not only read for them while blocking his right eye, he took it once step further and said he was going to test his ability to walk, using only his left eye. He was able to take about 5 -6 steps and not lose his balance! He tried it one more time and then explained that it was hard to do because his eye is not lined up exactly as his right eye. It sits a tiny bit lower and he said that affects his balance. He then took the patch off his good eye and we did excercises to help strenthen the muscles that move his eyes. He will need to have corrective surgery to have his left eye aligned correctly in the socket, but I have so much hope about his being able to someday gain back the ability to blink. Once he can do that, he won't need his eye patch. Also, there is research going on to replace the optic nerve and since Paul is so young, he would possibly be able to have the nerve replaced in the future. My motto - pray, wait and believe!
It has been an amazing week, filled with the love of Stephanie and Kelly and Jerry. The blessings have 'flowed abundantly'!
"All you who are thirsty, come to the water. All you who are hungry, come taste and see.
From me shall flow life giving water, quenching your thirst eternally.
I give my body, I pour my life-blood. Here is real food and drink; come taste and see." (Based on Isaiah 55:1-3 and John 7:37, 6:55-57)
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(more pictures below)
Stepahine and Kelly showed great support the whole time
Paul started to do excercises on his own.
James helping Paul down the steps, making sure he didn't lose his balance.
Stephanie stood by Paul as he got used to the water
Paul put on sun screen as he was worried about burning(hence the long sleeve shirt)
Taking a walk with Abby Dog"For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land - a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills" (Deut 8:7)
James, Stephanie and Kelly took Paul swimming today after being invited by Dr. Dee Huggins to use her neighborhood pool. (Thank you so much Dee for your kind offer!) Paul spent 2 hours swimming and doing excercises. He had a really terrific time. In fact, when James asked him if he was ready to go, Paul asked, "Leave?" James then said, "Yeah, we are going to need to leave, mom's going to be home soon." Paul responded, "Now?" Stephanie said they were surprised that Paul did not want to go, since he is always the first one to say "I need to go home now." Kelly told me that Paul got active in the water early on and started to do arm and leg excercises on his own. He handled the brightness of the sun also. He had a headache when he got home, so he took some Tylenol and rested for about a half hour. We then went out to eat to celebrate the last night that Kelly and Stephanie would be with us. Joe and Bev (my sister) joined us, as did Jerry. It was a huge day for Paul........once again. Absolutely an incredible day for him. Also, it was the most beautiful summer day we have had. The humidity was very low, the sky was vivid blue with the most beautiful white clouds. When I came out of work, I literally stopped and stayed gazing up for a full 5 minutes. I called Bev to see if she was still at her desk, as I was going to tell her to come outside immediately to see how glorious the sky was. She was already on her way home, but she said she too had stood for awhile to enjoy the view. God's gifts to us are a constant wonderment for me.
Paul has shown amazing strength and endurance in the last 2 days. We have all been stunned at the amount of progress he has made and the level of activity he has engaged in. Stephanie and Kelly have truly brought the best out in him. He tries so hard to accomplish goals they have set with him. Jon and I have stood back and watched with great thankfulness to God!
There is one other wonderful occurrence and that happened on Tuesday night. I was changing the tape on Paul's eye and since he was not in a lot of pain, I tried to do some eye excercises with him. While covering his right eye (the good eye), he was able to read the words on the cover of a book. The print has to be about 1/2 inch, and then he can read it. I then asked him to try to close his eyelid on his left eye. He was able to do this 4 times, although it took about 30 mintues to accomplish this. I was so excited to see him open and close his eyelid - no matter how long it took! I ran downstairs and told the girls and we rejoiced that they were here for this big occasion. Today, I was working with Paul again, and called the girls upstairs. Paul not only read for them while blocking his right eye, he took it once step further and said he was going to test his ability to walk, using only his left eye. He was able to take about 5 -6 steps and not lose his balance! He tried it one more time and then explained that it was hard to do because his eye is not lined up exactly as his right eye. It sits a tiny bit lower and he said that affects his balance. He then took the patch off his good eye and we did excercises to help strenthen the muscles that move his eyes. He will need to have corrective surgery to have his left eye aligned correctly in the socket, but I have so much hope about his being able to someday gain back the ability to blink. Once he can do that, he won't need his eye patch. Also, there is research going on to replace the optic nerve and since Paul is so young, he would possibly be able to have the nerve replaced in the future. My motto - pray, wait and believe!
It has been an amazing week, filled with the love of Stephanie and Kelly and Jerry. The blessings have 'flowed abundantly'!
"All you who are thirsty, come to the water. All you who are hungry, come taste and see.
From me shall flow life giving water, quenching your thirst eternally.
I give my body, I pour my life-blood. Here is real food and drink; come taste and see." (Based on Isaiah 55:1-3 and John 7:37, 6:55-57)
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(more pictures below)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
If a picture paints a thousand words...........
The pictures speak for themselves. Paul definitely benefitted from the California Fids visit (more specifically.......Stephanie and Kelly!) We have decided to keep them here. A ransom note has been sent to their parents..........smile.
Dinner at Zaxby's
You too can do this after eating at Zaxby's!
Private tour at CNN with Jerry! James, Jerry, Debi, Stephanie, Rick and Kelly
Lunch with our DTSi friends - Thank you so much Richard for a wonderful time!
Paul and Jerry after Wednesday morning Mass
Paul and 'Paps'
Paul teaching Kelly how to play the guitar
Stephanie, Kelly, and James at Zaxby's
The Fid Kids!
Paul teaching Kelly how to do his signature 'thumbs up'
Paul and Jon waiting for the gang to arrive at Zaxby's
Dinner at Zaxby's
You too can do this after eating at Zaxby's!
Private tour at CNN with Jerry! James, Jerry, Debi, Stephanie, Rick and Kelly
Lunch with our DTSi friends - Thank you so much Richard for a wonderful time!
Paul and Jerry after Wednesday morning Mass
Paul and 'Paps'
Paul teaching Kelly how to play the guitar
Stephanie, Kelly, and James at Zaxby's
The Fid Kids!
Paul teaching Kelly how to do his signature 'thumbs up'
Paul and Jon waiting for the gang to arrive at Zaxby's
I Believe
Monday evening, Dee Huggings came to our house to bring a rosary she took to the Eucharistic Congress Healing Mass and had it blessed. She also brought us a book called 'Smile and Jump High'. It is about a student who attended the University of Georgia in Athens who had an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Her accident date was 11/12/95 - ten years before Paul's. It too is a story filled with much hope and a miraculous recovery for this young lady. Dee's son, as you will remember, also suffered a traumatic brain injury and is recovering very well after 2 years. You don't know the comfort it brings to me and the family hearing about these stories and their positive outcomes. It brings us hope and the strength to continue being joyful at all the little steps forward that Paul makes. It is truly like watching your child start all over at a very young age and make their way back. Dee reminded me that while Paul can do a good portion of what he used to physically, he will still be taking it step by step mentally and emotionally. He will basically relive his youth, with the level of maturity that accompanies each stage. I had started to wonder why Paul was starting to act somewhat corny - like an 8 year old. He has also become incredibly attached to me, which I would expect to some extent since I have been his primary caregiver and mother. But it was just like he was as a young boy. After talking to Dee, I felt much more reassured that this too will pass, as he enters a new stage of mental recovery. She said he will go through the stages, even the behavior of his teenage years. I said that it would sure be convenient for him to get to the level of a 17 yr old so that Jon and I could be done with this age for Mike and Paul all at once! Senior year for each of the Fidero sons has always been a tough year for me - must be something about young men. Maybe it is just the struggle of them beginning to break away in anticipation of their college years and me realizing I won't have much influence on their lives after they leave. Anyway, it was helpful to be reminded that there will be many stages Paul will pass through and that each will bring joys and struggles for us all. Hearing other people's stories really helps us keep our faith and hope alive though!
I believe that it has been prayer that has carried us this far. I was praying the Creed and the words that stuck in my mind yesterday were, "I believe in ....THE COMMUNION OF SAINTS". It is the powerfulness of those words that really gave me hope. Not only have the saints in heaven heard our plea, then prayed for us and with us, but everyone else who heard we needed prayers and responded. We are all called to be saints and when we respond with love and prayer for those in need on earth, we become more like those holy men and women who went before us. They all understood that a strong prayer life is the way to stay on the path, a way to hear God along the way. Paul reaffirmed what I was thinking when he told me something on Sunday. He was resting on the couch and Abby was laying on the floor next to him. I came over to see if Paul needed anything and he said, "You see how Abby is laying here next to me? She just came over here a minute ago. It was really neat because I had been thinking of her and remembered that she is getting old and that she hurts at the end of the day after running around. I felt bad that she hurts and asked God to help her with her pain, even though she isn't human. I asked God to let her live for a lot longer too. After I finished my prayer for her, I started to pray to God about something else and Abby just came over to me and laid by me! Isn't that cool? It's like she knew I had prayed for her." I told Paul that more than that - it was a sure sign that God had heard him! Paul smiled and said, "You're right."
Paul prays a lot these days. Something will strike a chord and he will stop whatever he is doing and will pray for that particular instance. I had mentioned to Dee that our case manager with Blue Cross and Blue Shield had been so helpful and has worked so hard for us. Paul heard me and said how nice it was of her to help us even though she didn't know us. He said, "Can we say a prayer for her?" So he led Dee and I in an Our Father and a Hail Mary. When he hears about something that someone has done for him, he will include them in a prayer during the day. Or if he hears about someone in need, he will remember to include them in prayer. I have learned so much from Paul, in the way he spontaneously stops to say a quick prayer about something. It doesn't matter what he is doing or who is with him. He is never embarrassed about it or hides his faith. I don't know if this is just a stage he will pass through, but my prayer is - he won't.
James, Stephanie and Kelly are going to try to get Paul to the pool today. Time ran out yesterday, so today they will try again. We have to prepare the area around the tube to make sure we can keep water away from it. I am not sure how much protection he needs, since he takes showers with it. But we are going to use waterproof bandaging to seal it as best we can. Paul kept asking yesterday when they were going, so he is a willing participant. He said at first that he wasn't ready, but he must have prepared himself mentally during the day. I have no doubt the Holy Spirit is helping Paul find the strength to get on with new things in his life. I know that mentally, they are huge undertakings for Paul.
Today is the feast day of St. Joachim and St. Anne, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I pray that they will send up prayers for all of us who are parents, that we too may do all in our power to help our children be the holy men and women God intends them to be!
Father in heaven, lead us to do Your will in our day, so that our children and those around us can learn from our example, all for your glory and honor. Amen.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
I believe that it has been prayer that has carried us this far. I was praying the Creed and the words that stuck in my mind yesterday were, "I believe in ....THE COMMUNION OF SAINTS". It is the powerfulness of those words that really gave me hope. Not only have the saints in heaven heard our plea, then prayed for us and with us, but everyone else who heard we needed prayers and responded. We are all called to be saints and when we respond with love and prayer for those in need on earth, we become more like those holy men and women who went before us. They all understood that a strong prayer life is the way to stay on the path, a way to hear God along the way. Paul reaffirmed what I was thinking when he told me something on Sunday. He was resting on the couch and Abby was laying on the floor next to him. I came over to see if Paul needed anything and he said, "You see how Abby is laying here next to me? She just came over here a minute ago. It was really neat because I had been thinking of her and remembered that she is getting old and that she hurts at the end of the day after running around. I felt bad that she hurts and asked God to help her with her pain, even though she isn't human. I asked God to let her live for a lot longer too. After I finished my prayer for her, I started to pray to God about something else and Abby just came over to me and laid by me! Isn't that cool? It's like she knew I had prayed for her." I told Paul that more than that - it was a sure sign that God had heard him! Paul smiled and said, "You're right."
Paul prays a lot these days. Something will strike a chord and he will stop whatever he is doing and will pray for that particular instance. I had mentioned to Dee that our case manager with Blue Cross and Blue Shield had been so helpful and has worked so hard for us. Paul heard me and said how nice it was of her to help us even though she didn't know us. He said, "Can we say a prayer for her?" So he led Dee and I in an Our Father and a Hail Mary. When he hears about something that someone has done for him, he will include them in a prayer during the day. Or if he hears about someone in need, he will remember to include them in prayer. I have learned so much from Paul, in the way he spontaneously stops to say a quick prayer about something. It doesn't matter what he is doing or who is with him. He is never embarrassed about it or hides his faith. I don't know if this is just a stage he will pass through, but my prayer is - he won't.
James, Stephanie and Kelly are going to try to get Paul to the pool today. Time ran out yesterday, so today they will try again. We have to prepare the area around the tube to make sure we can keep water away from it. I am not sure how much protection he needs, since he takes showers with it. But we are going to use waterproof bandaging to seal it as best we can. Paul kept asking yesterday when they were going, so he is a willing participant. He said at first that he wasn't ready, but he must have prepared himself mentally during the day. I have no doubt the Holy Spirit is helping Paul find the strength to get on with new things in his life. I know that mentally, they are huge undertakings for Paul.
Today is the feast day of St. Joachim and St. Anne, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I pray that they will send up prayers for all of us who are parents, that we too may do all in our power to help our children be the holy men and women God intends them to be!
Father in heaven, lead us to do Your will in our day, so that our children and those around us can learn from our example, all for your glory and honor. Amen.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Go Tell It on the Mountain
As I sit here typing, Paul is playing the piano. It has been a monumental morning and one truly blessed by God. Paul woke up at 7:40 AM, on his own and woke me! He was standing at the side of the bed and asked if I should be getting up to go to work. I had overslept! He said he was going to wake me at 7:30, but thought maybe I was not going to work, since it was so late and I had not gotten up. I barely recovered from the shock of that when he said, "Here, take my hands and I will get you up like you help me all the time." I had to tell myself to 'breathe'!! Smile. He got his shoes on and walked downstairs. He called up to me that he was going to take his dog outside. I came running down the steps and saw him heading out the front door. Just like I have pictured it in my head so many times, and have hoped for a day just like today! I quickly grabbed the camera and he turned around and said, "Can you stand out here and let me try something? I want to walk to the mailbox by myself, with just my dog." I put the camera on movie mode and filmed it all. He touched the mailbox and then raised his arm in victory. He then called to his dog and they walked back to me. I hugged him and we walked back in and he wanted to know what was for breakfast. I said, "Anything you want today!". He only wanted a bowl of cereal. (It will have to be Wheaties today..........'The Breakfast of Champions'!) He then sat down and has been playing the piano since I started this blog. I guess breakfast is on hold!
Today is the Feast of St. James, the apostle. It appears one more apostle is praying for Paul! (Or maybe the prayers are for James - looks like he might have an easy day of it today!) James, Jerry and Paul have just headed out to go to Mass and so begins our day.
To those who prefer the shorter version of Paul's recovery - you are receiving it today. I am out of time!!
This is truly the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(Pictures will have to come even later than I thought!! - Will try to get them on later. Pray today that Paul will be able to go swimming, as planned yesterday. Looks like it is a go!)
Today is the Feast of St. James, the apostle. It appears one more apostle is praying for Paul! (Or maybe the prayers are for James - looks like he might have an easy day of it today!) James, Jerry and Paul have just headed out to go to Mass and so begins our day.
To those who prefer the shorter version of Paul's recovery - you are receiving it today. I am out of time!!
This is truly the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(Pictures will have to come even later than I thought!! - Will try to get them on later. Pray today that Paul will be able to go swimming, as planned yesterday. Looks like it is a go!)
Monday, July 24, 2006
Rise and Shine
I know there have been long intervals in between the postings, but it has been a fast pace around here. Our days have just zipped by as we visited with the family. Their visit was exactly what we needed too! It has been a long 8 months and to have our house filled with love and laughter was the best medicine.
Apparently it was the wake up call Paul really needed! For most of my childhood, I remember my mother coming into the room and as she turned on the light she would say, "Time to rise and shine." Well, Paul has been a much better example of that directive than I ever was. He has been able to rise and shine better than ever. I don't know if it is because of his wanting to be with his cousins or if his shunt is functioning a little better or if the medications for his headaches are finally into his sytem well enough to relieve some of his headache pain. Maybe a little of all the above. Or just an answer to his daily prayer, which remains to be, "God, the Father, please help my headache not be so bad today. You know it hurts all the time and I need your help today." Pope Benedict XVI relates how dependent humans are on God. He states, "Humans are dependent. They cannot live except from others and by trust.....Humans are dependent - that is the primary truth about them.....Living in dependence on God means not being one's own master, not wanting to take charge of the world oneself; it means saying good-bye to the dream of autonomy and of being one's own boss, recognizing that we cannot do it on our own and learnng to accept our life day by day from his hands, without anxiety and full of confidence." It appears to be this confidence Paul has in God that has helped him become very active and able to participate in the daily activities with the California Fideros.
Last Wednesday night Paul went to bed early because he had a really bad headache. I went to check on him and he was praying out loud to God for relief of his pain. He asked me who was downstairs and I told him the California Fideros and Jerry (our friend and neighbor). He then asked me to hold his hand as he was finishing his prayer. He was thanking God for allowing him to live after the accident and for a number of other things and then he finished by saying, "I know I have had to ask you for so much, but I ask you once again to help me with my pain. As you know, the girls are going to be leaving in a coup;e of days and I would like to be able to spend more time with them, so please help my pain go away so I can be downstairs with them. And also, Jerry is downstairs and I would like to see him too." That was the end of his prayer. I stayed with him for a few minutes more, then said I had to get back downstairs for a little bit, but would come back to check on him. Before I was able to go back upstairs, Paul was on his way down. It was about 8:30 PM and he came down to be with everyone. He became very talkative, and was walking around without any ones help. He ate and then visited with everyone. The adults were sitting in the rocking chairs out on the front porch and Paul would walk out there every little bit and would chat with us, then went back in to be with his brothers, cousins and Jerry. At 11:17 PM, I finally suggested that Paul get some sleep so that he could participate in the next day's activities. He agreed and went to bed. We were all shocked at his ability to be up so late and to actually be so active. He had been downstairs alot since the family came to visit, but he would stay laying on the couch most of the time. He had not laid down in almost 3 hours Wednesday night! I had no doubt that it was God's answer to Paul's heartfelt prayer that helped Paul that night.
On Thursday, everyone went to DTSi to meet the people they had read about so often in the blog. Richard Watson took everyone to lunch at a local restaurant and I was told that Paul handled it very well. I asked Paul if he had a good time and he said he did and that he had sat next to Lisa Hanrahan (he shared an office with her and she is also the mother of Brendan - Paul's good friend). He said, "Lisa helped me cut some of my steak..........I take that back - she cut MOST of my steak!" He said that it was a lot of fun to see everyone from DTSi again. He would like to work again and says it often. We are really looking forward to the day he can actually do that. I asked him if he thought he would remember what to do and he said he knew he would and that anything he forgot, Lisa could show him and he would know it again. We are hoping that he can put in a few hours each day really soon. It is obvious from all that he has been doing while the family has been visiting, that he needs a lot more stimulation in his life!
On Friday, Paul and his dad went to the 9:00 AM Mass. Later, they came by GuideOne Insurance to bring me my cell phone (which I had forgotten again.........sigh). Everyone else was going on a private tour of CNN Center. Jerry was their guide! At the office, Paul visited first with Meredith Tarantino (Jonathan's mom), then with my supervisor, Bill Henn. As Jon, Paul and I walked back to Bill's office Paul asked me what people would say to Bill if they called in on the phone. I wasn't sure what he meant and asked him to explain. He said, "What would be something that they would ask Bill to do if they called in?" I laughingly said that they would probably want to complain about their adjuster! Paul then told Jon and I to wait before we walked into the office and he went in first. I heard him say to Bill, "Hello Mr. Henn, I am here to lodge a complaint against my adjuster, Rebecca Fidero." I heard Bill laugh as he said, "Well, hello Paul!" Jon and I walked in and proceeded to have a really nice visit with Bill. After that, Jon, Paul and I went out to eat our first lunch out since the accident. It was a wonderful time for us. At the restaurant, Paul could not find a place where a light was not shining in his eye. He asked our waitress if it could be arranged to move a spotlight in another direction. She was so kind and she got up on a chair and adjusted the light so it was not in Paul's direction. We all thanked her a lot and then Paul slid down in his chair and laughingly said, "AAHHH, time for a nap!"
On Saturday, we went to the Westin Hotel downtown and had appetizers in the lounge on the 72nd floor. As you sit at the tables, the floor moves and you can see the metro Atlanta area while sitting in the same place as you circle around. It was not a particularly clear day, but we could see most of the downtown area really well. Before we left home, I asked Paul if he remembered much of downtown. He said he really couldn't at the moment. He remembered being in the dorms at GSU and riding his bike to classes with his roommate, Josh Schmidt, but that was about it. Once we got down there, he remembered a lot more than he thought he would. He knew where we were and even when we were driving home, he told me which direction to head in. I was pretty excited about that.
Everyone was supposed to fly out on Sunday morning, but Kelly and Stephanie wanted to stay longer, so arrangements were made and they are going to stay until Thursday morning. Paul had been asking them to check with Rick and Debi to see if they could stay, and asked them a couple of times on Saturday, "Have you asked your parents yet?" At dinner, we announced to Paul that it was official..........the girls would be staying. Sunday was a very quiet day and the only thing that we did was to go to Mass. Paul's level of activity dropped and his head was hurting a good deal yesterday. He will be going to the 9:00 AM Mass today. He called Jerry yesterday and asked if he could be picked up and taken! He came and told me he had done that after reading a note from Jerry to our family. He, like all of us, have so enjoyed getting to know Jerry!
Paul's humor has defintely emerged since the family came to town. He has been putting out a huge effort to be part of the crowd and thus, his wit is more evident. It has brought a lot of joy seeing him share his love and receive everyone's in return. It has gladdened this mother's heart.
St. Paul said, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) Our Paul has been the visual aid!
Entering this day with thanksgiving, blessed be the name of God!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
p.s. - pictures will be posted later - too time consuming for this morning!
Apparently it was the wake up call Paul really needed! For most of my childhood, I remember my mother coming into the room and as she turned on the light she would say, "Time to rise and shine." Well, Paul has been a much better example of that directive than I ever was. He has been able to rise and shine better than ever. I don't know if it is because of his wanting to be with his cousins or if his shunt is functioning a little better or if the medications for his headaches are finally into his sytem well enough to relieve some of his headache pain. Maybe a little of all the above. Or just an answer to his daily prayer, which remains to be, "God, the Father, please help my headache not be so bad today. You know it hurts all the time and I need your help today." Pope Benedict XVI relates how dependent humans are on God. He states, "Humans are dependent. They cannot live except from others and by trust.....Humans are dependent - that is the primary truth about them.....Living in dependence on God means not being one's own master, not wanting to take charge of the world oneself; it means saying good-bye to the dream of autonomy and of being one's own boss, recognizing that we cannot do it on our own and learnng to accept our life day by day from his hands, without anxiety and full of confidence." It appears to be this confidence Paul has in God that has helped him become very active and able to participate in the daily activities with the California Fideros.
Last Wednesday night Paul went to bed early because he had a really bad headache. I went to check on him and he was praying out loud to God for relief of his pain. He asked me who was downstairs and I told him the California Fideros and Jerry (our friend and neighbor). He then asked me to hold his hand as he was finishing his prayer. He was thanking God for allowing him to live after the accident and for a number of other things and then he finished by saying, "I know I have had to ask you for so much, but I ask you once again to help me with my pain. As you know, the girls are going to be leaving in a coup;e of days and I would like to be able to spend more time with them, so please help my pain go away so I can be downstairs with them. And also, Jerry is downstairs and I would like to see him too." That was the end of his prayer. I stayed with him for a few minutes more, then said I had to get back downstairs for a little bit, but would come back to check on him. Before I was able to go back upstairs, Paul was on his way down. It was about 8:30 PM and he came down to be with everyone. He became very talkative, and was walking around without any ones help. He ate and then visited with everyone. The adults were sitting in the rocking chairs out on the front porch and Paul would walk out there every little bit and would chat with us, then went back in to be with his brothers, cousins and Jerry. At 11:17 PM, I finally suggested that Paul get some sleep so that he could participate in the next day's activities. He agreed and went to bed. We were all shocked at his ability to be up so late and to actually be so active. He had been downstairs alot since the family came to visit, but he would stay laying on the couch most of the time. He had not laid down in almost 3 hours Wednesday night! I had no doubt that it was God's answer to Paul's heartfelt prayer that helped Paul that night.
On Thursday, everyone went to DTSi to meet the people they had read about so often in the blog. Richard Watson took everyone to lunch at a local restaurant and I was told that Paul handled it very well. I asked Paul if he had a good time and he said he did and that he had sat next to Lisa Hanrahan (he shared an office with her and she is also the mother of Brendan - Paul's good friend). He said, "Lisa helped me cut some of my steak..........I take that back - she cut MOST of my steak!" He said that it was a lot of fun to see everyone from DTSi again. He would like to work again and says it often. We are really looking forward to the day he can actually do that. I asked him if he thought he would remember what to do and he said he knew he would and that anything he forgot, Lisa could show him and he would know it again. We are hoping that he can put in a few hours each day really soon. It is obvious from all that he has been doing while the family has been visiting, that he needs a lot more stimulation in his life!
On Friday, Paul and his dad went to the 9:00 AM Mass. Later, they came by GuideOne Insurance to bring me my cell phone (which I had forgotten again.........sigh). Everyone else was going on a private tour of CNN Center. Jerry was their guide! At the office, Paul visited first with Meredith Tarantino (Jonathan's mom), then with my supervisor, Bill Henn. As Jon, Paul and I walked back to Bill's office Paul asked me what people would say to Bill if they called in on the phone. I wasn't sure what he meant and asked him to explain. He said, "What would be something that they would ask Bill to do if they called in?" I laughingly said that they would probably want to complain about their adjuster! Paul then told Jon and I to wait before we walked into the office and he went in first. I heard him say to Bill, "Hello Mr. Henn, I am here to lodge a complaint against my adjuster, Rebecca Fidero." I heard Bill laugh as he said, "Well, hello Paul!" Jon and I walked in and proceeded to have a really nice visit with Bill. After that, Jon, Paul and I went out to eat our first lunch out since the accident. It was a wonderful time for us. At the restaurant, Paul could not find a place where a light was not shining in his eye. He asked our waitress if it could be arranged to move a spotlight in another direction. She was so kind and she got up on a chair and adjusted the light so it was not in Paul's direction. We all thanked her a lot and then Paul slid down in his chair and laughingly said, "AAHHH, time for a nap!"
On Saturday, we went to the Westin Hotel downtown and had appetizers in the lounge on the 72nd floor. As you sit at the tables, the floor moves and you can see the metro Atlanta area while sitting in the same place as you circle around. It was not a particularly clear day, but we could see most of the downtown area really well. Before we left home, I asked Paul if he remembered much of downtown. He said he really couldn't at the moment. He remembered being in the dorms at GSU and riding his bike to classes with his roommate, Josh Schmidt, but that was about it. Once we got down there, he remembered a lot more than he thought he would. He knew where we were and even when we were driving home, he told me which direction to head in. I was pretty excited about that.
Everyone was supposed to fly out on Sunday morning, but Kelly and Stephanie wanted to stay longer, so arrangements were made and they are going to stay until Thursday morning. Paul had been asking them to check with Rick and Debi to see if they could stay, and asked them a couple of times on Saturday, "Have you asked your parents yet?" At dinner, we announced to Paul that it was official..........the girls would be staying. Sunday was a very quiet day and the only thing that we did was to go to Mass. Paul's level of activity dropped and his head was hurting a good deal yesterday. He will be going to the 9:00 AM Mass today. He called Jerry yesterday and asked if he could be picked up and taken! He came and told me he had done that after reading a note from Jerry to our family. He, like all of us, have so enjoyed getting to know Jerry!
Paul's humor has defintely emerged since the family came to town. He has been putting out a huge effort to be part of the crowd and thus, his wit is more evident. It has brought a lot of joy seeing him share his love and receive everyone's in return. It has gladdened this mother's heart.
St. Paul said, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) Our Paul has been the visual aid!
Entering this day with thanksgiving, blessed be the name of God!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
p.s. - pictures will be posted later - too time consuming for this morning!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Fidsnkids
Jon's brother and family - Kelly, Debi, Rick and Stephanie (The California Fidero's)
Marie and Jon leaving in their new car at 6 AM
Jon, Kelly, Stephanie, Paul, Michael and Rick at Chili's
Jon, Debi, Christine (mostly her arm!) Kelly, Michael, Marie and Jon
Kelly, Stephanie, Debi and Rick
Marilee and Christine (Jon's sisters)
Jon, Marilee, Christine and Rick 
Marie, Paul, Stephanie, Kelly and Abby dog on one of many walks
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
So Happy Together
It has been a wonderful week visiting with the extended Fidero family! It is so wonderful to hear the laughter and noise in my home once again. Paul had a really down day on Friday and I was thinking he would not be able to participate in the activities with family downstairs. On Saturday morning, the sun was filtering through the sheer curtains at sunrise and I laid there praying that Paul would be able to be free of his pain so he could have some fun also. His cousins were so excited to see him again. When they arrived late Friday night, Paul was already asleep and I was really hopeful that he would be able to come down and enjoy their company early Saturday.
We woke him up and got him breakfast and our day began. Paul held up much better than he had in the last few weeks and he stayed downstairs as much as he could. He had to use an earplug to dampen the sounds of our voices. He is very sensitive to sound and light at this point. In speaking to Ray, who works with Hydrocephalus Association, he said he also suffered this sensitivity problem and after a a couple of years, it has lessoned a great deal. So there is hope that this will not be a life long problem! After everyone arrived, Paul had to take one of his daily walks. Everyone walked down the street with him. It was such an incredibly joyous sight for me, as he was surrounded by people who love him so much. There have been a number of walks down the street with his cousins, aunts and brothers and dog this weekend. Everyone has remained very patient with Paul, taking time to listen carefully as he speaks and to repeat themselves when he doesn't hear them, which is due to his wearing his earplug to dampen the noise of so many conversations going on at once! When it is time to walk, almost everyone gets up and accompanies Paul. I was thinking about what Paul's cousins will tell their friends when they get back to California and are asked what they did while in Atlanta..............."we walked down the street with our cousin a bunch of times". Unexciting to be sure, but a wonderful sight for this mother's eyes!
Paul has put out more effort in these last few days than he has in weeks and I am very encouraged by his wanting to be part of the acitivity. He kept going back upstairs the first day to get the quiet he needed in between visiting with family. On Sunday, he stayed downstairs a lot more and just stayed on the couch to get the relief from his headaches. His friend Brendan rode over on his bike. He had on his biking shorts and shirt and when he came into the room to say hi to Paul, the first thing Paul said to him was "I see you have on your church clothes." Paul has been pretty witty these last few days and is enjoying being with the family. I was afraid he would not come downstairs much due to his head hurting, or the chaos would tire him quickly. He has hung in there so much better than I had hoped. His brother Jon is a terrific motivator and Paul does just about anything Jon asks him to do. On Sunday at Mass, Paul was next to Jon after they received Communion. As they were kneeling there, Paul put his arm around Jon and finished his prayers. As we stood to sing the closing song, Paul picked up the book and found the song. He then put his arm around Jon's shoulder again and he held his book and actually sang along like Jon. This is the first time Paul has picked up the book, or sung any of the songs. I tapped Jon (husband) on the arm to look at the boys and he and I stood there with tears in our eyes as we looked at our dear sons. After Mass, Jon (son) and Marie took Paul home and Mike, Jon and I got to stay and visit with friends for about 30 minutes. It was a very relaxed time for us.
My sisters in law (Marilee, Christine and Debi) have all taken turns cooking and cleaning for our family. In fact, our laundry is completely caught up, the house is dusted and vacuumed and before everyone left Monday night, Debi cleaned the kitchen and washed my kitchen floor. I made the huge mistake of putting in white tile as flooring in the kitchen (it was supposed to help make the kitchen look bigger............the only thing accomplished was that every foot print, spill and dog paw marks can be seen clearly every day!) and Marilee has been kept very busy wiping up the floor since she has arrived! We have had delicious meals cooked, the dishes done immediately after eating and laundry done each day since these sweet and wonderful women have come into my home. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Kelly (Paul's cousins) have taken the time to make sure to include Paul in their conversations and have shown such love and support of him. He has really perked up since they have all come to our home! I didn't realize how tired I was until all this help came in my front door. I have slept very soundly each night and have gotten so much rest.
Yesterday, everyone headed into Atlanta to see a bit of the city they came to visit. They have earned a day off! Paul and I have had a very good day too. Paul has eaten a lot of food and has taken his walk. He has played the piano for a long time and has read to me. He was reading the magazine from Ave Maria University and after he read the article about how the building of the new campus is coming along, he put the magazine down and said he wanted to pray about what God wants him to do and what he should major in. He said he thinks he would like to go to Ave Maria. I said he should be able to be there in Jim's senior year and when Mike went as a Freshmen. Three Fidero's at Ave Maria - that would be awesome. He asked why he would not be going until next year. I said that it was probably too late to register now and that it was already mid July. He said that he thought he would be going back to school this next semester! I asked if he thought he could handle it and he said he had hoped to take a class or two. He just needed to think about what he will major in since he can't play his guitar very well anymore. I asked why not and he said because he has tried and he is very weak. I told him that if that is the only problem he could work on strengthening excercises and should be able to get back to playing like he used. He said he is really not sure that is the direction he wants to follow. I was glad to know he is thinking about his future and getting back to school. There is so much that has to be accomplished before he can go back, but my highest hope is for him to be able to attend school by next Spring semester.
Later, Paul came and got me and asked me to follow him. He walked into the front room and stood before the crucifix and the Blessed Mary statute. He prayed for his healing and also to be forgiven of his sins. He said that he knew he had sinned in the past and would surely sin again, but he asked Jesus to help him sin a lot less. As he finished praying about a lot of things, my cell phone rang. It was the woman I had talked to last week at the Neurological Institute of Savannah and Dr. Thompson was going to accept Paul as a patient! I had been told last week that if they did take Paul as a new patient, they would not be able to see him for at least a month. Thankfully, they will not make him wait that long, and in fact will see him August 1st. Another blessing is that the doctor who will see him is a pediatric neurologist and that is what we have wanted all along because pediatric neurosurgeons have a lot more experience with shunts since 80% of the cases of hydrocephalus are children. When I got off the phone I told Paul who it was and I was crying as I was telling him. Paul hugged me and then asked God to help him and then he said he was so sorry that he had caused his mother to cry all those times since the accident. I told him most of my tears were from watching his progress and were tears of joy. I told him that he did not ever need to apologize to me for any of the tears I have shed because I have grown so much spiritually in these past 8 months. That is not a very long time when I think of the suffering of thousands of others who suffer far worse things than our family. Our 'cross' has been custom built by God! St. Symeon (1022 AD) wrote, " Therefore if you wish to attain that which you strive for and long after, that is, the good things of God, and from among men become an angel on earth, you must love bodily affliction and embrace suffering. As for trials, love them as the means of obtaining every blessing. Tell me, what is more beautiful than a soul undergoing tribulation, which knows that by enduring it will inherit joy in all things? What is more courageous than "a humble and contrite heart" (Ps 51:19)? Without difficulty it routs the massed troops of devils and pursues them to their end. What is more glorious than spiritual poverty, which is the means of obtaining the kingdom of heaven (Mt5:3)? Think of God's unutterable power, His immeasurable mercy, His inconceivable riches, which He generously and bountifully gives to men. These will suffice them in place of all things, as they receive into themselves Him who is the Cause and the Bestower of all blessing." As I read this writing from my prayer book, it caused me to remember that from the birth of my sons, I have prayed to Mary, Mother of God, that above all else I needed her prayers joined with mine, to help my sons be holy men some day. That is all I hoped for in their lives. I also prayed that I could learn to love Jesus as she loved Him, which was far greater than I could even love my own children. It has only been in these last 8 months that I believe I have come to even begin to understand how to love Jesus more humbly and purely. Praise be to God for this beginning (and blessing) in my life and in my family's life.
I started to write the blog so that I could quickly share this good news when Paul came into the room and asked what we could do next. I said that we could drive to church to thank God for the hope provided with the news of the new doctor. I realized earlier that the day of Paul's appointment was on the feast of St. Alphonsus Ligouri. I remembered immediately that Ligouri Publications published the booklet for the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. When I was a young girl, our family used to go to the Devotions to Our Mother of Perpetual Help every Tuesday night. My mother continues to this day to pray these prayers every Tuesday for her children and grandchildren. The picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help was always prominently displayed in our home as we were growing up. The original icon is displayed in St. Alphonsus church in Rome. Our pastor at St. Stephen's, Fr. Paddy, has this icon displayed at the front of our church and we have lit the candles in front of it for special intentions ever since the church was built. I think I have even included a picture of Jon and Paul lighting a candle there a few months ago. On Monday nights, Fr. Paddy or one of the deacons lead the Devotion to Our Mother of Perpetual help while there is exposition of the Eucharist. I told Paul that we would take our booklet to St. Stephen's and we would light a candle in thanksgiving and pray the prayers. We went there and Paul lit 3 candles and then he personally read the prayers out loud as we sat near the picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. Yes, it was another 'pocket of peace' for me.
As we were leaving, Paul walked to the statue of the Holy Family near by and he gently touched the shoulder of Mary and thanked her for all her prayers and asked her to keep praying for him. Then as we started to go my cell phone rang. I was going to turn the ringer off and Paul thought I was going to talk and he reprimanded me by saying "don't answer that." I showed him I was just turning off the ringer and he said "good, you are not supposed to use it in church." I had it on vibrate and it kept going off. It was Jon (son). I was a bit worried that something might be wrong, since everyone had gone into the city and maybe a car had broken down or something. When we got outside I called him back. He said he forgot that he had talked to Fr. Jack Durkin and had asked him to stop by the house. I asked when and he said Fr. Jack would be at the house any minute. I said, "Oh no, there is no one home right now." I asked Jon to call him and let him know the front door was open and to go in and make himself at home. Paul said, "I guess we will need to race home. But mom, please be careful!" I reassured Paul that we would not go any faster than how we came. And.................my house was clean because of Marilee, Christine and Debi!! No worries then - smile.
Paul became Mr. Talkative when Fr. Jack arrived. He answered the door and started to talk. Fr. Jack laughingly said that he thought he heard more words from Paul than he has in all the years he has known him! Shortly afterwards, everyone came home and there was so much noise and laughter. It was absolutely just wonderful for me to watch all of this and to see Paul hanging in there with everyone. This was the best day he has had that I could remember. He had not been in bed very much at all and was participating so fully. We ordered pizza and he ate very well again (no surprise about that.............pizza - Paul's favorite!). Unfortunately, Fr. Jack was called away, so we had to say goodbye quickly. But the noise and fun continued and it was around 9 pm and Paul had to say goodnight. He took time to say goodbye to Aunt Marilee and Aunt Christine, as they were leaving early in the morning. Jon and Marie were going to be leaving the next day, so we got busy helping them pack up their car. They got a newer car while they were here in Atlanta because their old Saturn finally gave up. It got them here safely and basically died. It would cost so much more to fix it than the car was worth, so they spent time finding a newer one. Since the new car was bigger than the Saturn, they were able to take a lot of the camping gear that was collecting dust in our garage and other miscellaneous items out there. (We filled the car almost to the top, much to Jon's chagrin. He had the same expression as his father when I would bring things home from my parents house!) As we were helping them pack, I found a big box of old pictures and Stephanie and Kelly started to go through them. There were squeals of laughter as they came across pictures of the boys when they were younger, especially the ones where the boys had 'bowl haircuts' that had been so popular years ago. We would stop and look at the pictures and then continue to pack the car. It was all so much fun. I was happy that Jon and Marie would have a safe drive back and they were so excited about their new car. The girls laugther was such a joyous sound and a wonderful sound to me, since I don't get to be around any girls very much!! We came across some fireworks from the year before, so we ended the night (11:30) with one of the fireworks. Paul had come downstairs about a half hour before that because of all the laughter and he got a kick out of seeing the funny haircuts he and his brothers had. After the one firework 'display' he said, "Great mom, now the neighbors will really love us. I am sure they will tell us tomorrow how much they like us." So, to our wonderful neighbors...............we are very sorry for the noise and we promise to be quiet tonight. We will keep it contained in our home at the very least!
May you all experience a pocket of peace, the Peace of Jesus Christ, in your day today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(I will get pictures posted later today! )
We woke him up and got him breakfast and our day began. Paul held up much better than he had in the last few weeks and he stayed downstairs as much as he could. He had to use an earplug to dampen the sounds of our voices. He is very sensitive to sound and light at this point. In speaking to Ray, who works with Hydrocephalus Association, he said he also suffered this sensitivity problem and after a a couple of years, it has lessoned a great deal. So there is hope that this will not be a life long problem! After everyone arrived, Paul had to take one of his daily walks. Everyone walked down the street with him. It was such an incredibly joyous sight for me, as he was surrounded by people who love him so much. There have been a number of walks down the street with his cousins, aunts and brothers and dog this weekend. Everyone has remained very patient with Paul, taking time to listen carefully as he speaks and to repeat themselves when he doesn't hear them, which is due to his wearing his earplug to dampen the noise of so many conversations going on at once! When it is time to walk, almost everyone gets up and accompanies Paul. I was thinking about what Paul's cousins will tell their friends when they get back to California and are asked what they did while in Atlanta..............."we walked down the street with our cousin a bunch of times". Unexciting to be sure, but a wonderful sight for this mother's eyes!
Paul has put out more effort in these last few days than he has in weeks and I am very encouraged by his wanting to be part of the acitivity. He kept going back upstairs the first day to get the quiet he needed in between visiting with family. On Sunday, he stayed downstairs a lot more and just stayed on the couch to get the relief from his headaches. His friend Brendan rode over on his bike. He had on his biking shorts and shirt and when he came into the room to say hi to Paul, the first thing Paul said to him was "I see you have on your church clothes." Paul has been pretty witty these last few days and is enjoying being with the family. I was afraid he would not come downstairs much due to his head hurting, or the chaos would tire him quickly. He has hung in there so much better than I had hoped. His brother Jon is a terrific motivator and Paul does just about anything Jon asks him to do. On Sunday at Mass, Paul was next to Jon after they received Communion. As they were kneeling there, Paul put his arm around Jon and finished his prayers. As we stood to sing the closing song, Paul picked up the book and found the song. He then put his arm around Jon's shoulder again and he held his book and actually sang along like Jon. This is the first time Paul has picked up the book, or sung any of the songs. I tapped Jon (husband) on the arm to look at the boys and he and I stood there with tears in our eyes as we looked at our dear sons. After Mass, Jon (son) and Marie took Paul home and Mike, Jon and I got to stay and visit with friends for about 30 minutes. It was a very relaxed time for us.
My sisters in law (Marilee, Christine and Debi) have all taken turns cooking and cleaning for our family. In fact, our laundry is completely caught up, the house is dusted and vacuumed and before everyone left Monday night, Debi cleaned the kitchen and washed my kitchen floor. I made the huge mistake of putting in white tile as flooring in the kitchen (it was supposed to help make the kitchen look bigger............the only thing accomplished was that every foot print, spill and dog paw marks can be seen clearly every day!) and Marilee has been kept very busy wiping up the floor since she has arrived! We have had delicious meals cooked, the dishes done immediately after eating and laundry done each day since these sweet and wonderful women have come into my home. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Kelly (Paul's cousins) have taken the time to make sure to include Paul in their conversations and have shown such love and support of him. He has really perked up since they have all come to our home! I didn't realize how tired I was until all this help came in my front door. I have slept very soundly each night and have gotten so much rest.
Yesterday, everyone headed into Atlanta to see a bit of the city they came to visit. They have earned a day off! Paul and I have had a very good day too. Paul has eaten a lot of food and has taken his walk. He has played the piano for a long time and has read to me. He was reading the magazine from Ave Maria University and after he read the article about how the building of the new campus is coming along, he put the magazine down and said he wanted to pray about what God wants him to do and what he should major in. He said he thinks he would like to go to Ave Maria. I said he should be able to be there in Jim's senior year and when Mike went as a Freshmen. Three Fidero's at Ave Maria - that would be awesome. He asked why he would not be going until next year. I said that it was probably too late to register now and that it was already mid July. He said that he thought he would be going back to school this next semester! I asked if he thought he could handle it and he said he had hoped to take a class or two. He just needed to think about what he will major in since he can't play his guitar very well anymore. I asked why not and he said because he has tried and he is very weak. I told him that if that is the only problem he could work on strengthening excercises and should be able to get back to playing like he used. He said he is really not sure that is the direction he wants to follow. I was glad to know he is thinking about his future and getting back to school. There is so much that has to be accomplished before he can go back, but my highest hope is for him to be able to attend school by next Spring semester.
Later, Paul came and got me and asked me to follow him. He walked into the front room and stood before the crucifix and the Blessed Mary statute. He prayed for his healing and also to be forgiven of his sins. He said that he knew he had sinned in the past and would surely sin again, but he asked Jesus to help him sin a lot less. As he finished praying about a lot of things, my cell phone rang. It was the woman I had talked to last week at the Neurological Institute of Savannah and Dr. Thompson was going to accept Paul as a patient! I had been told last week that if they did take Paul as a new patient, they would not be able to see him for at least a month. Thankfully, they will not make him wait that long, and in fact will see him August 1st. Another blessing is that the doctor who will see him is a pediatric neurologist and that is what we have wanted all along because pediatric neurosurgeons have a lot more experience with shunts since 80% of the cases of hydrocephalus are children. When I got off the phone I told Paul who it was and I was crying as I was telling him. Paul hugged me and then asked God to help him and then he said he was so sorry that he had caused his mother to cry all those times since the accident. I told him most of my tears were from watching his progress and were tears of joy. I told him that he did not ever need to apologize to me for any of the tears I have shed because I have grown so much spiritually in these past 8 months. That is not a very long time when I think of the suffering of thousands of others who suffer far worse things than our family. Our 'cross' has been custom built by God! St. Symeon (1022 AD) wrote, " Therefore if you wish to attain that which you strive for and long after, that is, the good things of God, and from among men become an angel on earth, you must love bodily affliction and embrace suffering. As for trials, love them as the means of obtaining every blessing. Tell me, what is more beautiful than a soul undergoing tribulation, which knows that by enduring it will inherit joy in all things? What is more courageous than "a humble and contrite heart" (Ps 51:19)? Without difficulty it routs the massed troops of devils and pursues them to their end. What is more glorious than spiritual poverty, which is the means of obtaining the kingdom of heaven (Mt5:3)? Think of God's unutterable power, His immeasurable mercy, His inconceivable riches, which He generously and bountifully gives to men. These will suffice them in place of all things, as they receive into themselves Him who is the Cause and the Bestower of all blessing." As I read this writing from my prayer book, it caused me to remember that from the birth of my sons, I have prayed to Mary, Mother of God, that above all else I needed her prayers joined with mine, to help my sons be holy men some day. That is all I hoped for in their lives. I also prayed that I could learn to love Jesus as she loved Him, which was far greater than I could even love my own children. It has only been in these last 8 months that I believe I have come to even begin to understand how to love Jesus more humbly and purely. Praise be to God for this beginning (and blessing) in my life and in my family's life.
I started to write the blog so that I could quickly share this good news when Paul came into the room and asked what we could do next. I said that we could drive to church to thank God for the hope provided with the news of the new doctor. I realized earlier that the day of Paul's appointment was on the feast of St. Alphonsus Ligouri. I remembered immediately that Ligouri Publications published the booklet for the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. When I was a young girl, our family used to go to the Devotions to Our Mother of Perpetual Help every Tuesday night. My mother continues to this day to pray these prayers every Tuesday for her children and grandchildren. The picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help was always prominently displayed in our home as we were growing up. The original icon is displayed in St. Alphonsus church in Rome. Our pastor at St. Stephen's, Fr. Paddy, has this icon displayed at the front of our church and we have lit the candles in front of it for special intentions ever since the church was built. I think I have even included a picture of Jon and Paul lighting a candle there a few months ago. On Monday nights, Fr. Paddy or one of the deacons lead the Devotion to Our Mother of Perpetual help while there is exposition of the Eucharist. I told Paul that we would take our booklet to St. Stephen's and we would light a candle in thanksgiving and pray the prayers. We went there and Paul lit 3 candles and then he personally read the prayers out loud as we sat near the picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. Yes, it was another 'pocket of peace' for me.
As we were leaving, Paul walked to the statue of the Holy Family near by and he gently touched the shoulder of Mary and thanked her for all her prayers and asked her to keep praying for him. Then as we started to go my cell phone rang. I was going to turn the ringer off and Paul thought I was going to talk and he reprimanded me by saying "don't answer that." I showed him I was just turning off the ringer and he said "good, you are not supposed to use it in church." I had it on vibrate and it kept going off. It was Jon (son). I was a bit worried that something might be wrong, since everyone had gone into the city and maybe a car had broken down or something. When we got outside I called him back. He said he forgot that he had talked to Fr. Jack Durkin and had asked him to stop by the house. I asked when and he said Fr. Jack would be at the house any minute. I said, "Oh no, there is no one home right now." I asked Jon to call him and let him know the front door was open and to go in and make himself at home. Paul said, "I guess we will need to race home. But mom, please be careful!" I reassured Paul that we would not go any faster than how we came. And.................my house was clean because of Marilee, Christine and Debi!! No worries then - smile.
Paul became Mr. Talkative when Fr. Jack arrived. He answered the door and started to talk. Fr. Jack laughingly said that he thought he heard more words from Paul than he has in all the years he has known him! Shortly afterwards, everyone came home and there was so much noise and laughter. It was absolutely just wonderful for me to watch all of this and to see Paul hanging in there with everyone. This was the best day he has had that I could remember. He had not been in bed very much at all and was participating so fully. We ordered pizza and he ate very well again (no surprise about that.............pizza - Paul's favorite!). Unfortunately, Fr. Jack was called away, so we had to say goodbye quickly. But the noise and fun continued and it was around 9 pm and Paul had to say goodnight. He took time to say goodbye to Aunt Marilee and Aunt Christine, as they were leaving early in the morning. Jon and Marie were going to be leaving the next day, so we got busy helping them pack up their car. They got a newer car while they were here in Atlanta because their old Saturn finally gave up. It got them here safely and basically died. It would cost so much more to fix it than the car was worth, so they spent time finding a newer one. Since the new car was bigger than the Saturn, they were able to take a lot of the camping gear that was collecting dust in our garage and other miscellaneous items out there. (We filled the car almost to the top, much to Jon's chagrin. He had the same expression as his father when I would bring things home from my parents house!) As we were helping them pack, I found a big box of old pictures and Stephanie and Kelly started to go through them. There were squeals of laughter as they came across pictures of the boys when they were younger, especially the ones where the boys had 'bowl haircuts' that had been so popular years ago. We would stop and look at the pictures and then continue to pack the car. It was all so much fun. I was happy that Jon and Marie would have a safe drive back and they were so excited about their new car. The girls laugther was such a joyous sound and a wonderful sound to me, since I don't get to be around any girls very much!! We came across some fireworks from the year before, so we ended the night (11:30) with one of the fireworks. Paul had come downstairs about a half hour before that because of all the laughter and he got a kick out of seeing the funny haircuts he and his brothers had. After the one firework 'display' he said, "Great mom, now the neighbors will really love us. I am sure they will tell us tomorrow how much they like us." So, to our wonderful neighbors...............we are very sorry for the noise and we promise to be quiet tonight. We will keep it contained in our home at the very least!
May you all experience a pocket of peace, the Peace of Jesus Christ, in your day today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
(I will get pictures posted later today! )
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Georgia (Savannah) On My Mind
Last night I had to smile as I thought about how wonderful it is when we can look back and see the perfect timing of God. While I haven't a clue as to the day Paul will be able to be free from constant headaches, or when he will be able to live a full life, God has provided me with little instances of His perfect timing.
As you know, I have been in touch with some people at the Hydrocephalus Association and I have received what I pray is some good advice and direction in finding Paul the help he needs. We have been given the information about the Neurological Institute of Savannah and after waiting a week until the doctor and his staff came back from vacation, I was able to speak to one of the nurses at the institute. She asked a number of questions and then said that they would need the medical records from both facilities where Paul had his surgeries. Once that is received they would let us know if they will accept Paul as a patient. Depending on his needs, they will let me know which doctor will be best suited to handle his case. I had most of the medical records that we sent to Dr. Ghaly, but still did not have the records from Emory. When we requested them over a month ago, we were told that the doctor had not signed off on them and that until he did that, they could not be released. I had a moment of panic as I remembered this and wondered about how I could get the records that were needed. I let it go and asked God to help us if it was His will. So many things have been out of my control and one thing I am getting better at is to 'let go and let God.'
One of the most blessed things that have occured since the accident is that we have met so many of our neighbors who attend our church. We have driven by their houses all these years but have not had the chance to actually meet them. One of the people we have met is Jerry Hufford. He lives about 1/4 mile away and after all these years, we have been blessed to meet him. He and his mother brought us dinner in the early Spring when our parish provided dinners throughout March, April and May. When James got home in May, he and Jerry met and have become friends. Paul and James usually see Jerry at the 9:00 AM Mass and James has since worked with Jerry in the Outreach Program through the church. On Wednesday mornng, Jerry came to our house at 8:00 AM to stay with Paul for the morning. James was going to be gone this week, so Jon and I arranged some time off from work and with the help of family and friends (Jerry) we had the help we needed to take care of Paul. Jon was going to go to Emory's radiology department to pick up the copies of all CT scans taken and then bring it to me so I could mail that with the records I had on hand from Gwinnett Medical. I had called my sister in law, Kelly, and they were going to overnight the disks they had of all the CT scans taken at Gwinnett. These were the ones we had picked up to take to Dr. Ghaly. I figured that the doctors in Savannah could at least get started with the CT scans from Emory and medical records from everything else. So, on Wednesday, as I was writing out the schedule for Paul's care for Jerry to use, the phone rang. It was a woman from the Medical Records department and she said that the medical records we had requested in the first week of June were now ready for pickup!! (We had wanted to send those to Dr. Ghaly, but could not since Emory would not release them to us without the doctor signing off on them.) I knew immediately that God had helped us. The very day we planned to go to Emory to pick up CT copies, the medical records would also be ready. I had not even called the radiology department yet to request the copies of the films and here was the lady from medical records telling us the written reports were ready. I called the radiology department and was told that we could pick up the CT copies in about an hour! We would not need to make 2 trips to obtain everythng we needed and in one day's time, we had everything to complete the package going to the doctors in Savannah. They will have the complete records of Paul today, in their office. Praise be to God for His loving mercy and kindness.
I was awake a lot last night as I thought about writing this blog today. In the last few days, Paul's intensity in prayerfulness has really increased. On 2 different occasions, he has walked either downstairs to the crucifix in the front room or to the one in his room. He asked us to go with him when he walked to his room to pray in front of the crucifix. He stands there and looks at Jesus on the cross and prays for the forgiveness of his sins, for a healing of his pain and for the recovery of his sight and hearing. He also prayed in thanksgiving for the love of his brothers. It was amusing at one point when he said that although his brothers talk too loudly these days, he loves them so much and is happy to be with them. ( He has had difficulty with loud sounds and any kind of lighting these days.) He also thanked God for placing him in a family that has shown so much faith and who loves to worship God. ( I was so surprised when he said those words..................while we prayed before and tried to worship God, it was no where near what we do ever since the accident. I told Paul that we are the ones who are so thankful for what has been gained from his suffering and example of obedience and love of God!) Last night, Paul was not able to sleep, so I told him I would read the bible to him. He asked if I would need to turn on a light and I said I was actually going to use a flashlight. He said that he didn't want me to go to any trouble and said that the flashlight would probably still be too bright since he did not have on his sun glasses. So I told him I would pray the rosary out loud, (softly of course......smile) and he could just listen. He said he would try to pray it with me. We started to pray and I named some of the intentions we would offer up as we prayed. Before I continue with this part of the story, let me give you the very sad details about the main intention we stated for our rosary. My son Jon called me this week and asked that I include this information on my next blog so that people can pray for another family, like they have prayed for us. A very devout and holy family at their church in Virginia have 5 children and this last Saturday, their 4 yr old child died after being run over by a car, with the family being present. The family had already been suffering from the strain of huge financial difficulties and now they have to suffer the worst pain anyone can imagine. The loss of a child. The family is suffering so much pain and as Jon told me about it, I could not help but cry for them all. I have not been able to think of them without crying. I can only empathize with their struggle, since we were so hugely blessed with Paul's life. Those who have had a child die know more clearly what this family is trying to cope with. Jon said that it will truly be their faith that will have to get them through this and they are a very faithful family. Jon called so that I could request prayers for them. Please keep Regina and Andrew Doman in your prayers daily. They need their brothers and sisters in Christ so much.
As Paul and I asked God to bless them and their child Joshua, Paul stopped me from continuing. He said that as I asked for God's blessing of the Doman family and theiir child, the pain in his head went completely away. He said that it was only for a few moments and his head hurt again, the pain was not as bad and it had been gone completely in the time I was praying for the Doman's. I have no explanation of God's intent in all of this. I can only tell you what happened. Paul and I continued to pray and I told Paul to offer up any pain he was experiencing for this family and if we could take some of their pain on to help relieve them, we would accept it gladly. I asked God to allow Regina to feel His peace as I carried thoughts of her in my heart and spirit as I prayed the rosary. I did after I remembered a woman in New Hampshire who had fasted for me when she heard of my son Paul. She also had a son named Paul, who had died and she was offering up her intentions and fasting on my behalf. I had never met her until Jon's wedding and it was one of those incredible examples of selfless love being offered to our family that I prayed I could 'pay forward'. All of these events have happened according to God's timing. We don't have control over His timing, but we have control over how we react to each and every event in our life. I remain ever thankful for the little bit of suffering in our life, as it has helped bring new life into my heart and a deeper awareness of those in need. While we can't be physically present with others as they go through suffering, we can send a garden of prayers to them. Thank you for the 'mountains of flowers' at our house!
Jesus said: "Let anyone who thirsts come to me and drink." (John 7:37) " This psalm reflects the shifting moods of down-heartedness, questioning, and confident joy that can affect the committed believer in the face of the questions and taunts of a disbelieving world. Yet the tears and torrents of discouragement have no power over the waters of life with which God's love renews us."
The timing of today's reflections are evident.
Jon's sisters Marilee and Christine arrived safely last night. Paul was not able to stay up very long, but put in a good effort. We are so happy to have the 'California Fidsnkids' also arriving on Friday. Jon and Marie will be here on Saturday. Paul's next request may be for ear plugs...............smile.
"Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts throught he Holy Spirit." (Rom 5:5) Let us put our hope in Jesus, our strength and our joy.
May God bless you in your day and all that is in it.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
As you know, I have been in touch with some people at the Hydrocephalus Association and I have received what I pray is some good advice and direction in finding Paul the help he needs. We have been given the information about the Neurological Institute of Savannah and after waiting a week until the doctor and his staff came back from vacation, I was able to speak to one of the nurses at the institute. She asked a number of questions and then said that they would need the medical records from both facilities where Paul had his surgeries. Once that is received they would let us know if they will accept Paul as a patient. Depending on his needs, they will let me know which doctor will be best suited to handle his case. I had most of the medical records that we sent to Dr. Ghaly, but still did not have the records from Emory. When we requested them over a month ago, we were told that the doctor had not signed off on them and that until he did that, they could not be released. I had a moment of panic as I remembered this and wondered about how I could get the records that were needed. I let it go and asked God to help us if it was His will. So many things have been out of my control and one thing I am getting better at is to 'let go and let God.'
One of the most blessed things that have occured since the accident is that we have met so many of our neighbors who attend our church. We have driven by their houses all these years but have not had the chance to actually meet them. One of the people we have met is Jerry Hufford. He lives about 1/4 mile away and after all these years, we have been blessed to meet him. He and his mother brought us dinner in the early Spring when our parish provided dinners throughout March, April and May. When James got home in May, he and Jerry met and have become friends. Paul and James usually see Jerry at the 9:00 AM Mass and James has since worked with Jerry in the Outreach Program through the church. On Wednesday mornng, Jerry came to our house at 8:00 AM to stay with Paul for the morning. James was going to be gone this week, so Jon and I arranged some time off from work and with the help of family and friends (Jerry) we had the help we needed to take care of Paul. Jon was going to go to Emory's radiology department to pick up the copies of all CT scans taken and then bring it to me so I could mail that with the records I had on hand from Gwinnett Medical. I had called my sister in law, Kelly, and they were going to overnight the disks they had of all the CT scans taken at Gwinnett. These were the ones we had picked up to take to Dr. Ghaly. I figured that the doctors in Savannah could at least get started with the CT scans from Emory and medical records from everything else. So, on Wednesday, as I was writing out the schedule for Paul's care for Jerry to use, the phone rang. It was a woman from the Medical Records department and she said that the medical records we had requested in the first week of June were now ready for pickup!! (We had wanted to send those to Dr. Ghaly, but could not since Emory would not release them to us without the doctor signing off on them.) I knew immediately that God had helped us. The very day we planned to go to Emory to pick up CT copies, the medical records would also be ready. I had not even called the radiology department yet to request the copies of the films and here was the lady from medical records telling us the written reports were ready. I called the radiology department and was told that we could pick up the CT copies in about an hour! We would not need to make 2 trips to obtain everythng we needed and in one day's time, we had everything to complete the package going to the doctors in Savannah. They will have the complete records of Paul today, in their office. Praise be to God for His loving mercy and kindness.
I was awake a lot last night as I thought about writing this blog today. In the last few days, Paul's intensity in prayerfulness has really increased. On 2 different occasions, he has walked either downstairs to the crucifix in the front room or to the one in his room. He asked us to go with him when he walked to his room to pray in front of the crucifix. He stands there and looks at Jesus on the cross and prays for the forgiveness of his sins, for a healing of his pain and for the recovery of his sight and hearing. He also prayed in thanksgiving for the love of his brothers. It was amusing at one point when he said that although his brothers talk too loudly these days, he loves them so much and is happy to be with them. ( He has had difficulty with loud sounds and any kind of lighting these days.) He also thanked God for placing him in a family that has shown so much faith and who loves to worship God. ( I was so surprised when he said those words..................while we prayed before and tried to worship God, it was no where near what we do ever since the accident. I told Paul that we are the ones who are so thankful for what has been gained from his suffering and example of obedience and love of God!) Last night, Paul was not able to sleep, so I told him I would read the bible to him. He asked if I would need to turn on a light and I said I was actually going to use a flashlight. He said that he didn't want me to go to any trouble and said that the flashlight would probably still be too bright since he did not have on his sun glasses. So I told him I would pray the rosary out loud, (softly of course......smile) and he could just listen. He said he would try to pray it with me. We started to pray and I named some of the intentions we would offer up as we prayed. Before I continue with this part of the story, let me give you the very sad details about the main intention we stated for our rosary. My son Jon called me this week and asked that I include this information on my next blog so that people can pray for another family, like they have prayed for us. A very devout and holy family at their church in Virginia have 5 children and this last Saturday, their 4 yr old child died after being run over by a car, with the family being present. The family had already been suffering from the strain of huge financial difficulties and now they have to suffer the worst pain anyone can imagine. The loss of a child. The family is suffering so much pain and as Jon told me about it, I could not help but cry for them all. I have not been able to think of them without crying. I can only empathize with their struggle, since we were so hugely blessed with Paul's life. Those who have had a child die know more clearly what this family is trying to cope with. Jon said that it will truly be their faith that will have to get them through this and they are a very faithful family. Jon called so that I could request prayers for them. Please keep Regina and Andrew Doman in your prayers daily. They need their brothers and sisters in Christ so much.
As Paul and I asked God to bless them and their child Joshua, Paul stopped me from continuing. He said that as I asked for God's blessing of the Doman family and theiir child, the pain in his head went completely away. He said that it was only for a few moments and his head hurt again, the pain was not as bad and it had been gone completely in the time I was praying for the Doman's. I have no explanation of God's intent in all of this. I can only tell you what happened. Paul and I continued to pray and I told Paul to offer up any pain he was experiencing for this family and if we could take some of their pain on to help relieve them, we would accept it gladly. I asked God to allow Regina to feel His peace as I carried thoughts of her in my heart and spirit as I prayed the rosary. I did after I remembered a woman in New Hampshire who had fasted for me when she heard of my son Paul. She also had a son named Paul, who had died and she was offering up her intentions and fasting on my behalf. I had never met her until Jon's wedding and it was one of those incredible examples of selfless love being offered to our family that I prayed I could 'pay forward'. All of these events have happened according to God's timing. We don't have control over His timing, but we have control over how we react to each and every event in our life. I remain ever thankful for the little bit of suffering in our life, as it has helped bring new life into my heart and a deeper awareness of those in need. While we can't be physically present with others as they go through suffering, we can send a garden of prayers to them. Thank you for the 'mountains of flowers' at our house!
Jesus said: "Let anyone who thirsts come to me and drink." (John 7:37) " This psalm reflects the shifting moods of down-heartedness, questioning, and confident joy that can affect the committed believer in the face of the questions and taunts of a disbelieving world. Yet the tears and torrents of discouragement have no power over the waters of life with which God's love renews us."
The timing of today's reflections are evident.
Jon's sisters Marilee and Christine arrived safely last night. Paul was not able to stay up very long, but put in a good effort. We are so happy to have the 'California Fidsnkids' also arriving on Friday. Jon and Marie will be here on Saturday. Paul's next request may be for ear plugs...............smile.
"Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts throught he Holy Spirit." (Rom 5:5) Let us put our hope in Jesus, our strength and our joy.
May God bless you in your day and all that is in it.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Monday, July 10, 2006
One Fine Day
Mike helping Paul pick up the first bag of mulch
James, Paul and Mike ready to do the hauling!
James, Paul and Michael working those
biceps!
Jon, Paul, James and Michael
Saturday truly was One Fine Day. In fact, this was One Fine Weekend!
It all started as Mike pulled up in his truck, which was loaded down with bags of mulch. We were going to get some work done on the gardens. I was sitting on the front porch with Paul, as we waited for Michael to back his truck down the lawn so we could unload everything. As we started to work, James jokingly called over to Paul and said "Hey Paul, come on over here lazybones and help us out. I expected to hear Paul say that his head hurt too badly, but instead, he got up and came over to the truck. As he came over, I realized he was really going to try to help! I ran into the house to grab the camera and got back in time to see Michael helping him pick up the first bag. I just kept clicking away as they started to work. Paul carried the bag to the back yard and came back to carry a second one. He walked very steadily, and had no problem keeping his balance. It was so great to see him helping his brothers and it looked so much like the days when the boys lived at home and we would work outside on Saturdays. (Actually, it was unlike the old days in that we used to have to 'pry' Paul out of bed to come help us!) After I got the pictures, I ran to Jon (he was in the garage) to show him what his son had just done. There was no time to go get him before Paul started to work, for which I apologized to him. Paul could only do 2 bags and his head was pounding, so he sat back down on the front porch. Jon and the boys finished unloading everything and then I took the group picture. I know Paul's brothers and dad were so proud of him for his effort. It was an awesome thing to see. Each person who came to the house through the weekend got a preview of the pictures that would be posted on the blog today!
We went to church Sunday morning and afterwards, I thought Jon, Paul and Michael had already left, so I stayed and visited with friends. AFter about 20 minutes, I saw Jon and Paul walking back into church. I asked them where they had come from and Jon said they had been waiting outside and decided to come in to get me. I told them I was sorry, I thought they had left with Michael. Turns out, Michael had decided to stay and have donuts with good friends of ours. This was surprising to me, as Michael always drives his car to Mass so he doesn't have to hang around after Mass, waiting for all of us. Since Jon, Paul and Michael had all gone to church together, I thought they had left together. I said that I was ready to go, but Paul asked if we could go back into the Sanctuary and pray for a little while longer. I was shocked because Paul never wants to stay, and usually says he needs to go because he can't stand the pain. Jon, Paul and I went to the Sanctuary and we listened to Paul pray to our 'Heavenly Father' . He asked his heavenly Father to please help him handle the pain and he said that while he asks for help about every 5 minutes, he was asking again for the help he needed to see again and to hear again. Then he said that mostly, he would hope to be able to see again out of his eye, and if he didn't regain his hearing, that would be alright. He hoped though, to have his sight back. He said that if he is to continue to have pain, he would wait. The reading Sunday was from St. Paul to the Corinthians, 12:7-10. "Brothers and sisters, That I, Paul, might not become too elated, because of the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." There it is in a nutshell. God's grace is sufficient for us. When we are weak, then we are strong. This prayerful moment with Paul made it One Fine Day for both Jon and I. There was a true sense of peace in it all. Afterwards, Paul actually wanted to go and get a donut and so we got to visit with some of the other people in the parish. It was the first time in a long time that we were able to do that. Oh, those pockets of peace!!
We got to experience a real 'Paul' moment. After we got home from church, Paul went up to change clothes. I came up later and he was walking out of his room with his shorts and tee shirt on and also the black socks he had had on for church. I mentioned that he might want to change his socks as he looked like a tourist. He looked down and laughed and then told James "get my sandals, STAT." James and I laughed so hard, as this really took us by surprise. Paul usually just does what he is told or what is suggested and his usual comment is something like "okay" or "oh, yeah". It turned out to be a day where Paul's humor was evident. Later, he joked around about me having so many pictures of him with his patch on his eye. He said, "Yeah, what is the deal with all those pictures of me and that BIG patch on my eye? Could we have any more of those showing that ridiculous thing?" Then he mimicked me clicking away and then saying "Wait Paul, let me get a video of that patch too!" We were all laughing so hard as he did this. I told him I was sorry if it seemed too outlandish, but we were all so happy to see him alive, that we didn't really notice the patch - we just loved seeing him interacting in this world again. He said he realized that, it was just weird to see that patch in every picture. Paul is becoming very aware of his infirmities and I know he will have some hard times ahead as he gets back into the swing of things. He said last night as he was getting into bed that he has changed so much. He said "I sure pray a lot more than I used to. I used to not think about prayer very much, but I think about it all the time now." - Just a matter of fact statement, but surely one that shows God's grace will be sufficient to get Paul through his trials.
Jonathan Tarantino and Brendan Hanrahan both came to visit Paul on Sunday at different times. It did Paul so much good to see them. He was up most of the day, and participated in the conversations. There were so many moments of laughter and joy. We all enjoy the times when people stop by to visit! Later in the day Jon, Paul and I took a long walk with Abby and enjoyed the cooler weather we had this weekend.
Saturday was Grandma Fidero's birthday and today is my dad's birthday. I told Paul that he is surely being remembered by his grandparents in heaven!! He went to Mass today with James to say hi to both of them!
"What return can we make to God except our prayer of grateful praise? Though he needs nothing, he rejoices in this gift of our love." So, we start this day with-
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens.
With full gratitude and love to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
Friday, July 07, 2006
Taxman
Each day I remind Paul that we are one day closer to the day that he will no longer suffer constant pain from his headaches. Each day we have to hold the hand of Jesus to find the strength and courage to stay the course. This morning I read Psalm 84 and verse 11 struck home. "The threshold of the house of God / I prefer to the dwellings of the wicked."
From my prayer book I read "God has opened to us the treasures of His own house. Let us pray for the wisdom to stay within the walls built by His Word.
Sin speaks to us in many disguises: sharpen our ears to discern your voice.
Your wisdom is a difficult virtue: make our hearts wise.
Your love is beyond price: form in us a true set of values.
O God, you desire life for your people. Protect us from all that would lead us away from you;
guide us safely to the home you have prepared for us, through your Son, Jesus Christ Our Lord."
It is so clear to me that that is exactly what God is doing. He is leading us safely to the home that has been prepared for us.
Last night I received a call from Ray , who has contacted me after I sent a message out on the Hydrocephalus Association website. He has been very helpful because he also suffered a head injury, which resulted in hydrocephalus. He knows Paul's pain and the trouble with finding the correct shunt and settings. He is the one who gave us the name of a good doctor in Savannah. In the readings today, there is this prayer.
"As members of Christ's Body, we suffer with those who suffer.
For those who feel abandoned in their suffering, send them compassionate companions to accompany them.
For those who struggle under the burden of sorrow, send them compassionate friends to support them. "
As I read this and the verse in Psalm 84 I found comfort knowing God is continuing to lead Paul and our family closer to the threshold of the house of the Lord. He is bringing us all one day closer to the intended recovery He has in store for Paul and He has provided us with companions along the way. Paul's total dependency on God has shown itself through his prayers that he speaks through day and night when the pain becomes unbearable. The last 2 nights, he has woken and has taken his rosary in hand and then asks me to help him pray. For the first time, he apologized to God for his carelessness while driving and that he was sorry he endangered Michael. He thanked God for his life and the protection given to Michael. He asked God for help with his pain, which he said is constant from morning to night. He asked for the ability to sleep, since he lays there most of the night in pain. He always ends with thanking God for his parents and brothers who are taking care of him. It is this faithfulness to God, shown by Paul, that is truly leading the way to the doorstep of heaven. One step closer to recovery, one step closer to the threshhold. I know we have taken a huge detour in our attempt to reach 'California', but I know there has to be a FREEWAY up ahead, where we will make better time!
Taking care of Paul became so much easier when I pictured myself actually tending to Jesus in His suffering. Blessed Teresa of Calucutta said that in tending to the poor, the sick and the dying, she was tending to Jesus personally.. Those words came to life for me one day as I was cleaning the areas where Paul had stitches. I thought of the woman who wiped the face of Jesus along the path of Calvary and of Mary, His mother, in all of her caring and loving. In picturing myself actually tending to Jesus, who is in all of us, my tasks become filled with joy. Once again, words I have heard have come back to me and have become meaningful. Words of scripture, words of saints whose 'footsteps' have helped lead us to the threshhold of our Father in heaven - they are heard again, but have so much more meaning. And it is because of Paul's accident that our family has been able to grow a little more in our understanding of God's immense amount of love for us and how we are to go out and share that love. So many have shown us examples of God's love, which we are now being called to share with others we meet. I told Paul he will never need to apologize to his family for all that has happened. We have gained far greater things than he can imagine!
Paul has put in some very hard efforts this week. He and James have attended Mass each day and when they get home, Paul has taken his 30 minute walks. He has not been able to keep his sun glasses off for very long though. It is just too bright for him and it causes his headache to be worse. They have also come by the office and made trips to the grocery store. James works with Paul on excercises for his legs and arms and has helped Paul drink more than 1/2 of his daily hydration amounts. Paul will look at the glass of liquid and will ask each and every time, "Do I have to drink ALL of this?" He says that it hurts his head, but he does finish what is given to him. Funny thing is, he eats food and doesn't complain at all. Not sure what that is all about. The other night, I ordered pizza and Paul asked me how much the 3 pizzas would cost. I said it was a special called 555, so it was $15 plus tax, which came to $16.96. Paul immediately said we were overcharged. I told him I was not sure what the tax rate was, but it was probably 5-6%. He said that it should be only around $15.75. When the pizza came, I looked at the receipt to see how they got the total and we found out that there is now a $1 delivery charge and the tax rate was 6%. I was amazed though at how quickly Paul realized that the price was not correct. Sorry Paul, taxes went up while you were healing!
I was on my way home from work today and all of a sudden remembered that it was Friday, same day as the accident. It flashed through my head that it was just about the time that Paul had called me and asked what was planned for that evening since Aunt Mary was in town. I remembered how his voice used to sound, then thought of how he sounds now when he asks, "Do we have any doctor appointments today?" I of course started to cry, which kind of happens a lot when I think back to that day and then it occured to me that Paul never cries. Of all people, I would think he would want to cry - from the continuous pain, or the frustration of trying to recover and then lose ground and have to start over again. I asked him when I got home if he ever feels like crying and he said he can't. He said it was never in his nature to cry. I thought about it and he is right. Even as a young child, I remembered he had cut himself really badly and needed stitches. He did not cry. The only time I remember him crying was when his grandfather died and he had to stop frequently as he tried to give his speech. It amazes me though that something this big in his life has not brought out stronger emotions. That may be further down the road. I won't sit and worry about it, just caused me to sit and wonder today. It may actually be God's blessing to Jon ......he only has to contend with the unpredictable crying of his wife!
The doctor in Savannah is out until Monday. I will follow up with him to see if he will even accept Paul as a patient. I got on line and it appears that the Savannah Neurological Institute is a big complex with all the doctors who need to be involved in the area of neurology on site. I asked Ray if that was the case and he said yes. The neurosurgeons have all the imaging equipment at the office, so there is no need to go to an ER. He had to have some other tests done and it was done in another office on the campus. He walked there, then came back to his neurosurgeon's office and the results were waiting. There is a rehab center, neurologists, therapists, neurosurgeons and psychologists all at this neurological institute. If they would accept Paul, I will spend a lot of time asking questions so that we can make an informed decision about whether to use this facility or Chicago. The main problem with going to Chicago is that I may lose my job. We would like to avoid that if possible, but if the best answer for Paul is to go there, then we will go.
Jon's 2 sisters and his brother and sister in law are all coming next week. They had booked their tickets months ago, thinking that by now Paul would be really strong and functioning more independently. While that is not the case, they are very excited to see Paul. Jon and Marie will also come into town next weekend, so there is a lot to look forward to. Paul has remembered all the relatives, which we were glad to find out. He has not seen any of the Fidero's from the West coast for over 2 years. He remembered his cousins visiting and is glad they are coming again.
More and more things are being remembered.
Jon Jr. mentioned that one of his professors is going to Fatima this week and she is going to write Paul's name in any prayer request book, or add it to any prayer basket. That made me smile to know his name will be on her mind as she prays at this Shrine of the Blessed Mother Mary. Also, another wonderful thing I found out was from someone at work. Kris asked me if I knew a young girl named Shea, who had been at Shepherd Center while Paul was there. I told her we did and that we followed her family's blogspot also, while keeping them in our prayers. Kris then said that she was talking to a young man from the church where Shea and her family attend and in their conversation, Kris mentioned Paul Fidero's name. This man knew who she was talking about because he said the members of this church have continued to pray for Paul since they learned of him back in January! I was truly overjoyed knowing that so many people are helping us pray Paul back to a full recovery. And I want to ask that you keep Lauren Shea Hickok in your prayers, as she too had many more difficulties to overcome. Her faith story makes ours pale in comparison! In fact, it is the stories and victories of others who have had a tougher walk than ours that keep us motivated, that help us know that with God's grace and the prayers of so many, we too will be victorious. The prayers of so many have provided us with the grace to continue to try to do God's will in our day. Have we told you lately how much we thank you? If it has been more than a day, it is too long ago!
After reading this blog, I see that I have rambled on worse than ever - kind of like the road to recovery that we have been on lately.....smile.
God's blessing to you and your families,
Jon and Rebecca
From my prayer book I read "God has opened to us the treasures of His own house. Let us pray for the wisdom to stay within the walls built by His Word.
Sin speaks to us in many disguises: sharpen our ears to discern your voice.
Your wisdom is a difficult virtue: make our hearts wise.
Your love is beyond price: form in us a true set of values.
O God, you desire life for your people. Protect us from all that would lead us away from you;
guide us safely to the home you have prepared for us, through your Son, Jesus Christ Our Lord."
It is so clear to me that that is exactly what God is doing. He is leading us safely to the home that has been prepared for us.
Last night I received a call from Ray , who has contacted me after I sent a message out on the Hydrocephalus Association website. He has been very helpful because he also suffered a head injury, which resulted in hydrocephalus. He knows Paul's pain and the trouble with finding the correct shunt and settings. He is the one who gave us the name of a good doctor in Savannah. In the readings today, there is this prayer.
"As members of Christ's Body, we suffer with those who suffer.
For those who feel abandoned in their suffering, send them compassionate companions to accompany them.
For those who struggle under the burden of sorrow, send them compassionate friends to support them. "
As I read this and the verse in Psalm 84 I found comfort knowing God is continuing to lead Paul and our family closer to the threshold of the house of the Lord. He is bringing us all one day closer to the intended recovery He has in store for Paul and He has provided us with companions along the way. Paul's total dependency on God has shown itself through his prayers that he speaks through day and night when the pain becomes unbearable. The last 2 nights, he has woken and has taken his rosary in hand and then asks me to help him pray. For the first time, he apologized to God for his carelessness while driving and that he was sorry he endangered Michael. He thanked God for his life and the protection given to Michael. He asked God for help with his pain, which he said is constant from morning to night. He asked for the ability to sleep, since he lays there most of the night in pain. He always ends with thanking God for his parents and brothers who are taking care of him. It is this faithfulness to God, shown by Paul, that is truly leading the way to the doorstep of heaven. One step closer to recovery, one step closer to the threshhold. I know we have taken a huge detour in our attempt to reach 'California', but I know there has to be a FREEWAY up ahead, where we will make better time!
Taking care of Paul became so much easier when I pictured myself actually tending to Jesus in His suffering. Blessed Teresa of Calucutta said that in tending to the poor, the sick and the dying, she was tending to Jesus personally.. Those words came to life for me one day as I was cleaning the areas where Paul had stitches. I thought of the woman who wiped the face of Jesus along the path of Calvary and of Mary, His mother, in all of her caring and loving. In picturing myself actually tending to Jesus, who is in all of us, my tasks become filled with joy. Once again, words I have heard have come back to me and have become meaningful. Words of scripture, words of saints whose 'footsteps' have helped lead us to the threshhold of our Father in heaven - they are heard again, but have so much more meaning. And it is because of Paul's accident that our family has been able to grow a little more in our understanding of God's immense amount of love for us and how we are to go out and share that love. So many have shown us examples of God's love, which we are now being called to share with others we meet. I told Paul he will never need to apologize to his family for all that has happened. We have gained far greater things than he can imagine!
Paul has put in some very hard efforts this week. He and James have attended Mass each day and when they get home, Paul has taken his 30 minute walks. He has not been able to keep his sun glasses off for very long though. It is just too bright for him and it causes his headache to be worse. They have also come by the office and made trips to the grocery store. James works with Paul on excercises for his legs and arms and has helped Paul drink more than 1/2 of his daily hydration amounts. Paul will look at the glass of liquid and will ask each and every time, "Do I have to drink ALL of this?" He says that it hurts his head, but he does finish what is given to him. Funny thing is, he eats food and doesn't complain at all. Not sure what that is all about. The other night, I ordered pizza and Paul asked me how much the 3 pizzas would cost. I said it was a special called 555, so it was $15 plus tax, which came to $16.96. Paul immediately said we were overcharged. I told him I was not sure what the tax rate was, but it was probably 5-6%. He said that it should be only around $15.75. When the pizza came, I looked at the receipt to see how they got the total and we found out that there is now a $1 delivery charge and the tax rate was 6%. I was amazed though at how quickly Paul realized that the price was not correct. Sorry Paul, taxes went up while you were healing!
I was on my way home from work today and all of a sudden remembered that it was Friday, same day as the accident. It flashed through my head that it was just about the time that Paul had called me and asked what was planned for that evening since Aunt Mary was in town. I remembered how his voice used to sound, then thought of how he sounds now when he asks, "Do we have any doctor appointments today?" I of course started to cry, which kind of happens a lot when I think back to that day and then it occured to me that Paul never cries. Of all people, I would think he would want to cry - from the continuous pain, or the frustration of trying to recover and then lose ground and have to start over again. I asked him when I got home if he ever feels like crying and he said he can't. He said it was never in his nature to cry. I thought about it and he is right. Even as a young child, I remembered he had cut himself really badly and needed stitches. He did not cry. The only time I remember him crying was when his grandfather died and he had to stop frequently as he tried to give his speech. It amazes me though that something this big in his life has not brought out stronger emotions. That may be further down the road. I won't sit and worry about it, just caused me to sit and wonder today. It may actually be God's blessing to Jon ......he only has to contend with the unpredictable crying of his wife!
The doctor in Savannah is out until Monday. I will follow up with him to see if he will even accept Paul as a patient. I got on line and it appears that the Savannah Neurological Institute is a big complex with all the doctors who need to be involved in the area of neurology on site. I asked Ray if that was the case and he said yes. The neurosurgeons have all the imaging equipment at the office, so there is no need to go to an ER. He had to have some other tests done and it was done in another office on the campus. He walked there, then came back to his neurosurgeon's office and the results were waiting. There is a rehab center, neurologists, therapists, neurosurgeons and psychologists all at this neurological institute. If they would accept Paul, I will spend a lot of time asking questions so that we can make an informed decision about whether to use this facility or Chicago. The main problem with going to Chicago is that I may lose my job. We would like to avoid that if possible, but if the best answer for Paul is to go there, then we will go.
Jon's 2 sisters and his brother and sister in law are all coming next week. They had booked their tickets months ago, thinking that by now Paul would be really strong and functioning more independently. While that is not the case, they are very excited to see Paul. Jon and Marie will also come into town next weekend, so there is a lot to look forward to. Paul has remembered all the relatives, which we were glad to find out. He has not seen any of the Fidero's from the West coast for over 2 years. He remembered his cousins visiting and is glad they are coming again.
More and more things are being remembered.
Jon Jr. mentioned that one of his professors is going to Fatima this week and she is going to write Paul's name in any prayer request book, or add it to any prayer basket. That made me smile to know his name will be on her mind as she prays at this Shrine of the Blessed Mother Mary. Also, another wonderful thing I found out was from someone at work. Kris asked me if I knew a young girl named Shea, who had been at Shepherd Center while Paul was there. I told her we did and that we followed her family's blogspot also, while keeping them in our prayers. Kris then said that she was talking to a young man from the church where Shea and her family attend and in their conversation, Kris mentioned Paul Fidero's name. This man knew who she was talking about because he said the members of this church have continued to pray for Paul since they learned of him back in January! I was truly overjoyed knowing that so many people are helping us pray Paul back to a full recovery. And I want to ask that you keep Lauren Shea Hickok in your prayers, as she too had many more difficulties to overcome. Her faith story makes ours pale in comparison! In fact, it is the stories and victories of others who have had a tougher walk than ours that keep us motivated, that help us know that with God's grace and the prayers of so many, we too will be victorious. The prayers of so many have provided us with the grace to continue to try to do God's will in our day. Have we told you lately how much we thank you? If it has been more than a day, it is too long ago!
After reading this blog, I see that I have rambled on worse than ever - kind of like the road to recovery that we have been on lately.....smile.
God's blessing to you and your families,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Who'll Stop the Pain
Tuesday July 4th
Jon and I have spent this past weekend praying about and discussing some of the alternatives that we can follow in attempting to find someone who will take a really personal interest in helping Paul with his pain, which continues 24 hours a day, with very little relief. We haven't a clue if the shunt is working and the last neurosurgeon said he would see Paul in 2 months. That is not acceptable to us, nor does it seem humane to make Paul wait that long before the shunt is checked again to see if it is functioning as it should be.
I had gone onto the internet and found a site - Hydrocephalus Association, and got on their chat line and gave a quick summary of where we are in all this and I was able to speak to someone who lives in Savannah and is the spokesperson for the Southeast Region. He has hydrocephalus also, which was brought on by head trauma while he was in Iraq. He has had 4 revisions and was able to have a particular brand put in that has been very successful. He had the brand Paul has right now and said he had continuous problems with it. He said that it is used widely because the company that makes them pays doctors a fee for using them, unlike the one he now has. He said he was able to get relief from his headaches fairly quickly and after about 2 weeks, his shunt calibrated itself to the setting and he has had only 2 adjustsments to the shunt in the last 2 1/2 years. He explained that he also suffered from light sensitivity and hearing sensitivity after he had his first shunt put in. After a couple of years, the sensitivity to light and sound has lessened. He also said that he can't believe any doctor would allow Paul to remain in the pain he is experiencing, because he said that the pain is unlike anything he has ever had to live through. He said that the headaches are excrutiating and he was not able to work or do much of anything until he finally had his shunt functioning optimally. He now helps the Hydrocephalus Association by talking to people who register on the site and who are then referred to him by the woman who heads up this association. He gave me the name of his doctor in Savannah and the hospital where the surgery is done. He said he has referred 3 other people to this doctor and they were helped. We plan on following up with this doctor by phone to see if he would be interested in helping Paul and also if he will monitor the shunt more closely than what is being done now. We also got a reference to another neurosurgeon in Atlanta and possibly a second one. We also have the option of driving to Chicago to work with Dr. Ghaly. One big draw back to that is I may lose my job if I am gone for too long. We will talk to all of them and try to get a sense of how effectve they would be. We will continue to pray fervently to be guided in finding out................Who'll Stop the Pain. Please pray for us as we try to do and follow God's will.
Sunday's Gospel really struck a chord with us. As it was being read, Jon looked over at me and we smiled. It comes from the Gospel according to Mark.
"There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for 12 years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?" But his disciples said to Jesus, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, "Who touched me?" And he looked around to see who had done it. The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."
We talked about this gospel after Mass and how it reaffirmed our desire to continue with great faith, that our prayers have been heard and that in God's time, Paul will be healed. And while Paul has suffered at the hands of some in the medical profession, we believe that Jesus, in His mercy, will hear and answer our plea. Paul told us once again, that lately he has wished that God had brought him home because he suffers so much pain. But he added that since God let him live, he knows he has something to do for God and he will keep trying to get better so he can do it. I reminded Paul how blessed we all are in that we don't have to try to touch the cloak of Jesus, we can receive Him at Mass each time we go. While we have not seen, we believe. And from Psalm 30:
" Hear, O Lord, and have pity on me; O Lord, be my helper.
You changed my mourning into dancing; O Lord, my God,
forever will I give you thanks."
I will admit that I have cried so often in these last 7 1/2 months. But, we have prayed so much more often, always ending our prayers in thanksgiving for our ever increasing faith, for our life in Christ and for God's answer .......which will someday be revealed to us. We will be dancing!
One fun thing that Paul has started to do is to text message me a couple of times a day. Now that I am back at work, he will send me messages. Last night, Jon and I were able to go out to dinner with our friends and just about the time I was wondering if Paul was okay, I got a text message from him. He continually thanks Jon and I for our love and help. Another message he sends often is to see what I will be serving for dinner! He also uses his cell phone to call us downstairs. He will ask what everyone is doing !
He continues to notice very obscure things. I gave him a pill (which is the new prescription given to us by the neurologist who is working on pain management) and Paul said "Mr. Rose works there." I asked what he meant and he said the "A" logo on the pill looked the same as the company that Mr. Rose works for. He was right - Abbott. I had checked out the prescription to see what the side affects were and to make sure it would not interact with any of the other prescriptions and Abbott makes this pill.
I was thrilled that Paul remembered that, and totally amazed he would remember something from so long ago. On Sunday evening, we had Bev and Joe and our neighbors over for dinner and Paul leaned over and said to my sister, "you're missing the bun." Bev had fixed her hamburger, leaving off the bun so it would be less calories. She told Paul that she did it on purpose and explained why. He then said, "That explains why Uncle Joe's is the same." Bev laughed and said that was correct. On Friday, Paul and James came to the office to bring me my cell phone. Paul noticed that Bev had a sweater on and it was missing all the buttons. He asked her why all her buttons were gone. She explained that it was more like a sweater jacket, and it was not supposed to have buttons. He said he was wondering why a sweater would not have any buttons on it. Bev keeps that sweater at the office, since it is fairly chilly and I have to say, I have never noticed that ever! Okay, that may not be saying much, given my state of mind lately (smile) But I was really surprised Paul would even notice something like that.
One other thing that was amusing was when I told Paul I would be bringing his medicine to him. He asked which ones and I told him the red pills. He said, "Oh, the ones that don't do anything. I was hoping it would be some Tylenol." He is right about that. His headaches have not been helped at all with the prescriptions he has been taking. The latest one that has been added is not supposed to help right away. It will take anywhere from 2 - 4 weeks to become effective, if in fact his headaches are caused by post tramatic headaches from his brain injury.
One last thing - I do hope to clarify something that was commented on in the last posting. I truly do not want to mislead anyone by referencing something that has yet to be approved by the Catholic church. I mentioned Medjugorje and the message of conversion of hearts through prayer and fasting. It is true that the Vatican has not ruled on the events going on in that city, as it will not until said 'apparitions' cease. This site reflects our famly's personal faith journey and how we continue to strive to love Jesus more perfectly each day, through our growth in faith, hope and love. My relationship with Jesus and desire to live a more Christ-like life truly began after I heard these messages being given, (which are basically the same as those given at Fatima) in that we are called to conversion through our prayers and sacrifices and participation in the Sacraments. I guess I was 'ripe for the picking' at that particular time. We have continued to share our personal story because we have drawn so much strength from knowing there are people who are continuing to pray for Paul and our family in what is a difficult time for us. Mostly though, it is our hope that those who read this blog will gain as much as we have from reading what so many others have written. The comments are what I consider to be the most beautiful thing offered. This whole event has opened our eyes to how much we need to share our faith with each other and how we are connected as brothers and sisters in Christ, through Christ and with Christ. I know that everyone who reads this blog is not Catholic and while I draw heavily on my religious traditions and experiences, I know without a doubt, we are truly connected and responsible for each other as children of God. I use what is familiar to me and my family as I share our experiences. I will be happy to clarify or correct anything written that causes concern............... after I get some help with the facts from my son who has his degree in theology! He is a blessing to us.
The kingdom of God is within you! (Lk 17:21) Blessings to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
Jon and I have spent this past weekend praying about and discussing some of the alternatives that we can follow in attempting to find someone who will take a really personal interest in helping Paul with his pain, which continues 24 hours a day, with very little relief. We haven't a clue if the shunt is working and the last neurosurgeon said he would see Paul in 2 months. That is not acceptable to us, nor does it seem humane to make Paul wait that long before the shunt is checked again to see if it is functioning as it should be.
I had gone onto the internet and found a site - Hydrocephalus Association, and got on their chat line and gave a quick summary of where we are in all this and I was able to speak to someone who lives in Savannah and is the spokesperson for the Southeast Region. He has hydrocephalus also, which was brought on by head trauma while he was in Iraq. He has had 4 revisions and was able to have a particular brand put in that has been very successful. He had the brand Paul has right now and said he had continuous problems with it. He said that it is used widely because the company that makes them pays doctors a fee for using them, unlike the one he now has. He said he was able to get relief from his headaches fairly quickly and after about 2 weeks, his shunt calibrated itself to the setting and he has had only 2 adjustsments to the shunt in the last 2 1/2 years. He explained that he also suffered from light sensitivity and hearing sensitivity after he had his first shunt put in. After a couple of years, the sensitivity to light and sound has lessened. He also said that he can't believe any doctor would allow Paul to remain in the pain he is experiencing, because he said that the pain is unlike anything he has ever had to live through. He said that the headaches are excrutiating and he was not able to work or do much of anything until he finally had his shunt functioning optimally. He now helps the Hydrocephalus Association by talking to people who register on the site and who are then referred to him by the woman who heads up this association. He gave me the name of his doctor in Savannah and the hospital where the surgery is done. He said he has referred 3 other people to this doctor and they were helped. We plan on following up with this doctor by phone to see if he would be interested in helping Paul and also if he will monitor the shunt more closely than what is being done now. We also got a reference to another neurosurgeon in Atlanta and possibly a second one. We also have the option of driving to Chicago to work with Dr. Ghaly. One big draw back to that is I may lose my job if I am gone for too long. We will talk to all of them and try to get a sense of how effectve they would be. We will continue to pray fervently to be guided in finding out................Who'll Stop the Pain. Please pray for us as we try to do and follow God's will.
Sunday's Gospel really struck a chord with us. As it was being read, Jon looked over at me and we smiled. It comes from the Gospel according to Mark.
"There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for 12 years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?" But his disciples said to Jesus, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, "Who touched me?" And he looked around to see who had done it. The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."
We talked about this gospel after Mass and how it reaffirmed our desire to continue with great faith, that our prayers have been heard and that in God's time, Paul will be healed. And while Paul has suffered at the hands of some in the medical profession, we believe that Jesus, in His mercy, will hear and answer our plea. Paul told us once again, that lately he has wished that God had brought him home because he suffers so much pain. But he added that since God let him live, he knows he has something to do for God and he will keep trying to get better so he can do it. I reminded Paul how blessed we all are in that we don't have to try to touch the cloak of Jesus, we can receive Him at Mass each time we go. While we have not seen, we believe. And from Psalm 30:
" Hear, O Lord, and have pity on me; O Lord, be my helper.
You changed my mourning into dancing; O Lord, my God,
forever will I give you thanks."
I will admit that I have cried so often in these last 7 1/2 months. But, we have prayed so much more often, always ending our prayers in thanksgiving for our ever increasing faith, for our life in Christ and for God's answer .......which will someday be revealed to us. We will be dancing!
One fun thing that Paul has started to do is to text message me a couple of times a day. Now that I am back at work, he will send me messages. Last night, Jon and I were able to go out to dinner with our friends and just about the time I was wondering if Paul was okay, I got a text message from him. He continually thanks Jon and I for our love and help. Another message he sends often is to see what I will be serving for dinner! He also uses his cell phone to call us downstairs. He will ask what everyone is doing !
He continues to notice very obscure things. I gave him a pill (which is the new prescription given to us by the neurologist who is working on pain management) and Paul said "Mr. Rose works there." I asked what he meant and he said the "A" logo on the pill looked the same as the company that Mr. Rose works for. He was right - Abbott. I had checked out the prescription to see what the side affects were and to make sure it would not interact with any of the other prescriptions and Abbott makes this pill.
I was thrilled that Paul remembered that, and totally amazed he would remember something from so long ago. On Sunday evening, we had Bev and Joe and our neighbors over for dinner and Paul leaned over and said to my sister, "you're missing the bun." Bev had fixed her hamburger, leaving off the bun so it would be less calories. She told Paul that she did it on purpose and explained why. He then said, "That explains why Uncle Joe's is the same." Bev laughed and said that was correct. On Friday, Paul and James came to the office to bring me my cell phone. Paul noticed that Bev had a sweater on and it was missing all the buttons. He asked her why all her buttons were gone. She explained that it was more like a sweater jacket, and it was not supposed to have buttons. He said he was wondering why a sweater would not have any buttons on it. Bev keeps that sweater at the office, since it is fairly chilly and I have to say, I have never noticed that ever! Okay, that may not be saying much, given my state of mind lately (smile) But I was really surprised Paul would even notice something like that.
One other thing that was amusing was when I told Paul I would be bringing his medicine to him. He asked which ones and I told him the red pills. He said, "Oh, the ones that don't do anything. I was hoping it would be some Tylenol." He is right about that. His headaches have not been helped at all with the prescriptions he has been taking. The latest one that has been added is not supposed to help right away. It will take anywhere from 2 - 4 weeks to become effective, if in fact his headaches are caused by post tramatic headaches from his brain injury.
One last thing - I do hope to clarify something that was commented on in the last posting. I truly do not want to mislead anyone by referencing something that has yet to be approved by the Catholic church. I mentioned Medjugorje and the message of conversion of hearts through prayer and fasting. It is true that the Vatican has not ruled on the events going on in that city, as it will not until said 'apparitions' cease. This site reflects our famly's personal faith journey and how we continue to strive to love Jesus more perfectly each day, through our growth in faith, hope and love. My relationship with Jesus and desire to live a more Christ-like life truly began after I heard these messages being given, (which are basically the same as those given at Fatima) in that we are called to conversion through our prayers and sacrifices and participation in the Sacraments. I guess I was 'ripe for the picking' at that particular time. We have continued to share our personal story because we have drawn so much strength from knowing there are people who are continuing to pray for Paul and our family in what is a difficult time for us. Mostly though, it is our hope that those who read this blog will gain as much as we have from reading what so many others have written. The comments are what I consider to be the most beautiful thing offered. This whole event has opened our eyes to how much we need to share our faith with each other and how we are connected as brothers and sisters in Christ, through Christ and with Christ. I know that everyone who reads this blog is not Catholic and while I draw heavily on my religious traditions and experiences, I know without a doubt, we are truly connected and responsible for each other as children of God. I use what is familiar to me and my family as I share our experiences. I will be happy to clarify or correct anything written that causes concern............... after I get some help with the facts from my son who has his degree in theology! He is a blessing to us.
The kingdom of God is within you! (Lk 17:21) Blessings to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
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