We Came, We Saw, We Left

Finally, the blog is up and running!

This whole week has been a tough one for us. With the surgery and then the complication last night, we are absolutely fatigued. We were up at 5 AM Monday to get Paul to his pre-op appointment and had stayed up later than we probably should have on Sunday. On Monday, Jonathan Tarantino came by in the evening to see Paul before he had surgery. Paul was already in bed since his head was hurting and he had had such a bg day. I apologized to Jonathan that Paul didn't have much energy left to visit. Also, when Jonathan came, we were just getting ready to pray the rosary as a family, for a successful surgery. I told Jonathan that's what we were about to do and he said it was not a problem, and he pulled his rosary out of his pocket! I was so glad he would be joining us. Tuesday we were up at 4:30 and each of us pulled a shift at the hospital so Paul would not be alone. Jon took the day off, and I spent the night then. James came in the morning and stayed until Paul ws released around 3:30 PM. I met them at home to help get Paul settled in.

I remembered the nurse saying early in the morning on Wednesday that Paul was running a fever. This is common after surgery. When the resident neurosurgeon came by he said that Paul could go home Wednesday or if we felt more comfortable, he could stay until Thursday. Unfortunately, I was not at the hospital when they came in to discharge Paul, and James assumed this was all okay. I probably would have opted for one more day. With the knowledge that Paul had been running a fever, I started to check it as soon as he got home. He normally is around 97.9 degrees and the first temperature I got for him was 98.5. I knew this was a bit elevated for him, but it was not a big deal. He did not eat dinner, just slept most of the afternoon/evening away. I figured he needed to sleep because there was a new wing to the hospital being built...........right outside Paul's window. There was so much noise with that and then all the interruptions by nurses and techs throughout the day. He had to be tired! I know I was exhausted because of the noise during the night. So I left him sleeping and just fed him through the feeding tube. He didn't wake once while I got him food and water. At about 9:00 PM, I took his temperature and it was at 101.4. This increase in temperature really surprised me. A few minutes later I checked it again and it was 101.5. I looked at Jon and he said, "Let's go." We had learned from previous times that a temperature over 100 degrees needs to be taken seriously because of the brain injury. We packed up and drove to the hospital. They ran a number of tests to see if he had an infection anywhere. His incisions all looked normal, so it was not with that. They told us that it would take hours before they would have results and the neurosurgeons on staff were in an emergency surgery and they would want to see Paul. We decided that both Jon and I should not wait at the hospital all night, one of us needed to be ready for the next 'tour of duty'. Since the van was parked far away in a parking deck on the campus (it is a university hospital), I told Jon to go on home, just send James in the morning to relieve me. I figured I could rest my head on Paul's bed and get a bit of sleep. A nurse was very kind and brought me a pillow and blanket. I raised Paul's bed and let my head rest on the bottom of the bed. I actually got a bit of sleep, but again, there were disruptions and the ER was pretty much packed, so there was a lot of noise out in the hallway. At 3:00 AM they said that all tests showed negative results, there was no infection and that the temperature was possibly due to the fact that Paul was not up as much as they would lke to see. It helps the lungs to expand more and take in more air. This helps the body control the temperature. I fully expected they would be admitting Paul when I told Jon to go on home. I called him to come back to get us and by 4 AM we were home and in bed.

Yesterday was a little better for Paul. James was able to get him on a walk and had him up and downstairs in the afternoon. We made his favortie dinner - grilled steak - and he ate well. His temperature stayed down for most of the day, but last night it was back up over 100 again. I will be back in touch with the doctor today. Paul seems almost as bad as before he had any surgeries. He is not talking, but is using hand signals, he is very lethargic and his headache remains at a level 7 even with pain medication. I feel so totally helpless about it all. My prayers are without ceasing as I live through each minute and watch this all with basically a feeling of emptiness. I do not believe in any way that we are alone in this, but I feel such a void right now. It is so hard to know what is the right answer with anyone in the medical profession anymore. Each person we talk to has a different slant or reason for things, but I basically feel we get answers 'off the cuff' rather than anything based on true knowledge. I can only start each day and ask that I do God's will and that Paul will be relieved of his pain. I thank God that I have been given another day and hope that I will be brought to greater holiness along with my family. And so begins this day.

One thing that had me very happy last week was that Paul remembered and used a couple of words from before the accident. I came into his room and asked him how he was and he said, "'Meh". I laughed out loud and then hugged him as I said how happy I was to hear him use a word he always used before when he wasn't feeling so great. He didn't quite understand what all the excitement was about, especially since all he said was "Meh". Later that day, after he tried to explain something to me he asked, "Saavy?" That is from the movie 'Pirates of the Caribbean", which our family has seen and has quoted lines from it numerous times. Again, I hugged him and said that he had not said that word in a very long time and I asked if he remembered where that word came from. He said simply, "Pirates". It was comforting to hear him use some of his old sayings. In so many ways he has changed and cognitively, he has a long road ahead. But I believe that we will see more and more of 'Our Paul' as he recovers.

We ask that you keep us in your prayers for the strength to cope with what comes each day. As with everyone, some days are very difficult to get through with our faith, hope and trust intact!
"Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse."

Peace in our Lord Jesus Christ,
Jon and Rebecca