Where is our son Paul?

The pace is definitely picking up for us. There is so much to catch up on with the progress Paul is making that I may have to start posting a couple of blogs a day!
Monday we spent a lot of time with Paul because his brothers were leaving for New Hampshire the next day. (Our original plan for attending Jon's wedding on 1/1/06 was for the family to leave on Tuesday and stay in Boston most of the week and have a small vacation together. Jon and I changed our flights to this next weekend so that we would not be away from Paul so long, but the boys kept their flights so they could help with the wedding plans.) There were so many touching moments as we watched the boys interact with Paul on Monday. They encouraged him to keep fighting hard to gain his speech back and to eat as much as he can, so the stomach tube could be removed. Jon seemed to have the most impact on Paul these past 2 weeks. They have always been very, very close. The funny thing is, Paul had been feeling sad before the accident because he felt that he and Jon would not be that close anymore, since Jon would be married and his focus would need to shift to his wife and new life. While Paul understood that the dynamics of the family would have to eventually change, it was difficult to 'let go' of his older brother. The accident has caused their love for each other to be deepened and that is another one of those blessings we are reaping from this all. For the last 20 minutes before the boys left for the evening, Jon was leaning towards Paul, while holding his hands and Paul was watching Jon's face intently. He was totally focused on Jon's words. He answered Jon's statements with a softly spoken "okay" "yes" or "no", and when Jon told him he loved him very much, Paul said "I love you too". That poignant moment will be etched in my mind forever. I had to thank God in that moment for the love that our family has been able to share with each other, for these 6 weeks after we were told that Paul would probably not live. This whole occurrence has truly shown the power of love and prayer.

Paul is trying to talk more than we had seen before and he actually is able to verbalize a number of words. His voice is low, as he still has to learn to project it. But he is on his way. And that was proven on Tuesday night. I came into the cafeteria area and Paul was eating his dinner really well. I mentioned that he might want to start thinking about his speech he needs to do for Jon's wedding. I was thinking that while Paul may not be there in person, he can work on this project and in time, give it to Jon and Marie. After I mentioned it casually to Paul, he looked right at me and said "That's a good idea." I smiled so big and told Paul it would be good for him to try. He responded "I'll try". He then went on to finish his dinner and had very little trouble swallowing like he had in the previous days. I had to wonder if the 'heart to heart' talk Jon had with his brother didn't settle in somewhere in Paul's mind. I had not seen so much progress from Paul in a 24 hour period. And the surprises continued. Kelly, my sister in law, called and I thought it might help Paul speak some more, since he seems to make more attempts to talk if he is on a cell phone. I heard him saying yes or no to things she was saying, but then I heard him say "fantastic" and his voice and tone were exactly like he used to speak. I was shocked and so happy, that I just stood there beaming! I also heard him say "hey man" and "I love you". Then after a bit, he hung up. I sat down next to him, and saw a tear under his left eye. I bent forward to see if he was crying, and his right eye was also welled up with tears. I asked him if he was sad and he said yes. I told him that Aunt Kelly and Uncle Keith loved him very much and missed him, and that they were going to bring his dog back down to him when he got home. I asked if he would really like that and he shook his head yes. (Long story made short - Paul's dog Abby,was moved up to my brother's house after Paul went off to school. She was literally pining away for Paul. Jon and I were almost always away from the house and it was very upsetting to see her so sad. Plus her health seemed to be deteriorating. My brother has 2 young children, and their 2 dogs had recently passed away, so they took Abby to Chicago to be with them. She has made lots of friends up there - dogs and human! Paul would go to Chicago every couple of months to spend a long weekend with Abby...............and of course his uncle and aunt. They have decided that since Paul will be back in the home, it may be very helpful for Abby to be by Paul's side as he recovers. He said the word 'fantastic' after Uncle Keith told Paul they would bring Abby back to Atlanta.)

Later, we took Paul to his room and he went straight to the restroom and his dad helped him there. We didn't even have to ask Paul if he wanted to use the restroom. Then he came out and went to his sink to brush his teeth. He seemed very focused while doing it and I remembered how his brother Jon had taken a long time with him the night before, showing him how to brush his teeth really well and explaining why it had to be done that way. Paul also did a very good job brushing his teeth last night. I just have to believe that he is remembering what his brother told him about working hard so he can come home to live. (And just maybe, he is picturing his dog laying next to him on his bed at home.)

I spoke to the case manager today and she said they have pretty much confirmed the expected date of Paul's release from the hospital. It will be 1/11/06. Funny old world isn't it - 11/11 was the accident and 1/11 is his release from the hospital. Only 2 months and we will be bringing Paul home, and he will not be in the vegetative state that they said he would be in. He will begin his new stage at Pathways, which will be the place that will help Paul get back into the community. It will be a long and very hard day, where he will work individually with therapists and counselors and then group settings to help him function in the world again. The training will be geared to help him get back into school and also back to work. We know Paul will want to play the guitar again, so we will also look into getting him guitar lessons, once he is ready for that. He will need speech therapy for the longest period of time. It will probably be about a year for that, with the physical therapy and occupational therapy ending much sooner. The area of Paul's brain that was injured the worst was the frontal lobe, in the area where speech/ language is controlled. But they told us to keep our hopes up, as they expect a very good recovery for Paul. They are very excited with the progress he has made in only a few weeks. We were told that he was reading and saying out loud the headlines from the newspaper today. (That's about all the time we spend each day to get our news too!)

Back to the statement I made earlier about Paul's left eye and the tear that came down his face. I had Bell's Palsy right after the birth of my first son and it was 11 months before I was no longer paralyzed on the left side of my face. My eye did not blink in all that time, nor did it tear when I cried. The first thing to come back was the tearing of my eye and I remembered this after seeing Paul's left eye have a tear in it. He has had tears in his right eye, but this was the first time I had seen both of his eyes have tears in them! Please keep praying for the healing of his paralysis and his vision. God has been so tremendously loving and abundant in answering our prayers so far and I pray He will hear the prayers of his family and friends for restored vision and full facial movement for Paul. And... as always... we will wait for His will to be done.

The other new development for Paul is that he has become a very sociable kind of guy around the Acute Brain Injury Unit! We came to see him and could not find him. We looked in all the main areas and his bedroom. We could not find him. We went to the nurses station and asked "Where is our son, Paul?" They made an announcement for the nurses on the floor to look for Paul. They could tell from our expressions that we were more than worried, so we were reassured that Paul had to be on the floor somewhere. They found him with an elderly woman and her 2 daughters at a computer that is by the rooms in the back of the unit. He was showing her how to play Solitaire on the computer. Her daughters were so glad he was taking time with their mother and they thanked us. We were then told that Paul goes into the rooms of the other patients and gives them a wave or just hangs out. Everyone knows him and Paul will also go into the offices of the personnel who are on duty during the day and will hang out with them, when he is not in therapy. Tonight, his dad walked right past him and did not see him because he was sitting in the nurses station, helping the receptionist on duty. Paul was helping with the scheduling chart for the next day. It is a large magnetic board where each therapy session is listed for each patient. The nurse told us that Paul hangs out there during the day also. He has tried to leave the main exit doors once, but the alarms went off and he has not tried to do it again! The elderly woman told me that she thinks Paul is wonderful, because he seems to know when she is sad and he always makes her feel better. Another woman told us that she has seen Paul help push the wheelchairs of those who have more difficulty propelling themselves down to the cafeteria room.

So, the answer to the title of this blog is...................right where God wants him.

God bless all of you on YOUR PATHWAY to heaven. He has made our new pathway a lot easier than I ever could have imagined. Praise be God, in His angels and His saints.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero