Paul forgets to say No Thanks.............

Our visit with Paul last night was a good one. He was asleep when we walked in, but the nurse walked in to check on him and that woke him up. While we don't wake Paul when he is sleeping, we were glad that he was woken up as we got there. It made the very long and slow ride down the interstate well worth it. We told him that his brothers were coming home today from college, and they would be visiting him. While he understood what we were saying, we knew he would not remember it. Basically, he doesn't remember much from anything earlier in the day or the day before. He lives in the now. Well, he is right on track with the rest of his family. We have learned to deal with what is at hand. We only make general plans about his recovery, then sit back and wait to see what really happens. He keeps surprising people with what he can do.

Yesterday he did another thing that surprised us. He was walking with the use of a walker. The therapists were standing on either side of him and were holding the strap around his chest. They were helping him stand with his head up and chest out to keep him standing straight as he walked. He got to the end of the hallway, and he made his turn around. The walker seemed to be in his way, so he stopped, pushed the walker to the side and held out his hands to hold the therapists, then walked that way back to his chair down the hallway. He found the walker to be too cumbersome, so he got rid of it. He walked very well. Also, he has a cast on his left foot that is pretty heavy, but that has not deterred his efforts at walking. I was crying as I walked behind him, remembering the condition he was brought into this hospital one week before.
As we all look back to 5 weeks ago today, I know everyone can see the immensity of the loving response of God to all the prayers lifted up to heaven. I can hardly wait to write about Paul's responses once he learns how many people answered a call for help and prayers. All your words will be the gift that keeps on giving. I was telling James (Paul's brother) today how I love being part of this faith community. We are all one in the Spirit, one in the Lord. What a wonderful gift this family has received in this Advent season - we have been the recipients of what Jesus reminded us was the greatest commandment, which is "Love one another as I have loved you."
One thing I will never be able to put into words is how grateful we are for all of you. We will try to do it with our most ardent prayers for the same love and protection to surround you.

Today, we visited Paul quickly before his lunch hour and one of his friends had also come by. Then we left for awhile and came back to check on him. He was very upset about something, because when we walked in, he was 'pacing' around the room. He was in his wheelchair, 'walking' in a more determined way than he has before. The therapist showed us his tray and he had dumped the fruit cup all over his tray. She was not sure what upset him, but his actions confirmed he was not a happy camper. I walked over to Paul, and told him I had set his lunch tray at a table by the window, to coax him back. He walked with me to that table. Jim showed Paul a jacket that Paul had really liked wearing, but he didn't seem to remember. He was very much out of sorts and his friend tried to get him to write down what he was trying to say. He was writing too fast for us to actually recognize the words. He definitely was in a state of agitation, so I told Paul we would let him finish his lunch quietly and asked him to try to slow down and take it easy. The therapist came over and we slipped away. We sat in Paul's room for a little bit and when we left, we looked back into the cafeteria to see if Paul had calmed down and it appeared he had.

This is one of the reasons why they don't want visitors at the hospital during the day. It causes Paul to become overly stimulated, and then he can't handle all the emotions and he will show signs of his agitation. One on one, Paul does very well. We have learned that only one person can talk at a time, and we are not to carry on conversations 'over' Paul. Also, we talk in a more calm and slower speech so that he will comprehend it better. If you know our family, you know we all talk too fast and can be too loud when we are all together. His brothers will learn more about how to work with Paul during the Christmas season, so their help will benefit Paul most effectively.

Another reason for no visits during his day is because he has scheduled blocks of time. The therapists don't want to lose any of their time frame having to calm Paul down or compete for his attention. When we first stopped by today, it was supposed to be Paul's rest time, but his physical therapist had to use this time to cut off the first cast on his left leg, and put on the secondary cast. That is another reason he may have been upset. He didn't get to sleep as long as he needed before he was started on the second half of his day.

The cast will be removed Monday or Tuesday. The tendon on his left leg should be stretched out enough for Paul to walk better. He will be walking everyday as part of his therapy, since he is doing so well. Next week, his brothers will be allowed to spend a half day with him to view everything that the therapists are doing. They only get to sit quietly and observe, and not interact. Shepherd Center feels that the family unit is one of the most important elements to Paul's recovery. We of course agree, knowing how close Paul and his brothers are.

The trach tube should be out tonight by the time we visit him. Our hope is that he will be more inclined to talk once he has nothing in his throat. If it is purely neurological in nature, then it will take time for that portion of his brain to heal and speech will be delayed. To what extent remains to be seen. And we will wait, with joy in our hearts and trust in God.

As I am writing this, I have to share this with you. Now that the boys are home, friends are stopping by and my house is filled with the loudness I mentioned above and laughter. Five weeks ago, the thought crossed my mind about how we would be able to handle the pain of Christmas in our house and the silence we thought would permeate it. I even wasted time thinking (O Me of Little Faith!) about how I could possibly help my husband and sons handle the sorrow,since I was filled with such unbearable sorrow myself. God knew he was working with a very weak woman, and He in His enormous love, did not make me wait for long for so many joyous moments to occur. Paul's waking, his responses, the move to Shepherd Center and his walking - huge events in so short a time span. Our God is an Awesome God. Praise be His name forever and thanks be to God for Jesus who shows us how to carry our cross, and Mary our Mother holding us close to her heart, walking the pathway with us as she did along side her Son. Blessed Mary carried my prayers for a more perfect love for Jesus straight to heaven, where it is being answered in a multitude of ways. She loves us all as dearly as she loves her Son, and as any loving mother wants for her children, to be with Him for all eternity. Please know that she will intercede for you and will make your prayers more perfect before Jesus. While I pray the words, "Jesus I trust in you", I add "Blessed Mother, I trust in your intercession." As God chose Mary to bring His Son into the world, I too choose Mary to lead me more perfectly to her Son.

Remember - When God wants something great done in this world, He sends a baby and then..............He waits. You have all done something great in OUR lives - you have responded in love.

Peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero