The buzz about Paul

Today was a very interesting and also encouraging day for us. But not for Paul. His day started with a buzz cut. He was very restless as they cut his hair. They had shaved his head for the plastic surgery, and the cut today was to even out his hair all over. He looks so much more like Paul. But, he didn't act very much like Paul. He was very agitated, and kept trying to get us out of the way so he could propel himself out of the room, using his feet to move the wheelchair. He was mad when he wasn't allowed to leave. When he was asked what kind of a cast he wanted for his foot (to help stretch the tendon on his left foot) he impatiently wrote NORMAL. What they wanted actually was the color, since he could have any color he wanted. When asked what color, he wrote NORMAL again, with 2 exclamation marks after it, which let us know he didn't really care about this topic. He pointed to the door to let us know he was heading out. But he wasn't allowed to go because the speech therapist still had some things she needed to do with him. We hugged him, blessed him and left at this point to attend a class and a meeting.

We have to attend some classes to help us prepare for the care of Paul when he comes home, and to learn more about brain injuries and possible outcomes. We will be meeting with the doctors and therapists this week to find out the projected discharge date and to get a summary of Paul's overall medical condition at this point.

We learned about the different areas of the brain and I would have liked learning about all of this more if it weren't such a personal matter!! The term 'ignorance is bliss' came to mind. It was easier facing the future not knowing so many details about brain injuries and which ones applied to Paul. Some of it could make anyone feel worried or anxious, but when I started to worry about what all might be injured in Paul's brain, I prayed and asked God to help us accept whatever He wills in Paul's recovery. I not only found comfort in praying , but also the fact that the brain can take up to 2 years or more to completely heal. We had heard that healing stops after 6 months. We learned that the brain wants to set things right and will keep at it for a long time. What a marvel our bodies are. The mystery of the brain and how it works certainly confirms for us that God must exist. There is still so much unknown about the brain, and may never be known due to the complexity of its processes. We were told that Paul has youth on his side and his prior level of intelligence and experiences add to the chances of a good recovery. If he had been a drug user, or had not finished high school, and had major problems with discipline before - those would be factors for a lower expectation of good recovery. (So my guess is, we can say goodbye to any chance of his ever cleaning his room without an act of congress being passed...some things will not change...smile.) We also learned that we should expect Paul to be a good bit like himself, with subtle changes in some of his abilities. Again, over time, with rehab and family support, he should be able to overcome obstacles. What they didn't say, but we know to be true, is that with God EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. We continue to pray for God's healing graces to help Paul in all ways. At the same time, we thank God for the gift of His Son Jesus, who taught us about suffering.
Luke 14:27
"And whosoever does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple."

I hope more than anything else in life, that when I die I hear these words of God- "well done my good and faithful servant". So I pray each day for these gifts:
1. patience- as we wait with our son for God's will in his life and ours
2. more perfect love of Jesus - so that others can see Jesus in us
3. humility - so that our lives will reflect the Glory of God

This whole incident has me remembering daily, the words that we do not know the time or the day, but live each day as if it were your last. Yes, I believe I had better pick up the pace!

Back to Paul - he ended up in restraints today. He was trying to take his trach out once again, along with the belts they have on him to keep him from trying to get up out of the wheelchair. Actually, what they have used is like a boxing glove. Also, when he was told he would not be put back in bed, he 'walked' himself down to the gym and slid down in his wheelchair and propped his feet up on the table that has the mats on it. He was clearly unhappy that he was not getting his way. When lunch came, he wouldn't eat. At this point, I have to admit, I was relieved we could leave the area so the therapist could get him calmed down and could work with him. We were told he is getting into stage 4, which is the stage where the person will act out with different degrees of anger and frustration. It is a very natural step towards recovery and so we are grateful he will have trained therapists to help him through this stage. He is not acting like this on purpose, it is the way the brain is responding to the trauma he suffered and the recovery process. It is so hard to watch our son have to go through this. But praise be to God we get to. That is what we always remind ourselves...........we get to watch Paul RECOVER. In God's way and in God's time.

Speaking of time, I have used up too much of yours!

May you have an increase in the gifts of faith, hope and love in this miraculous Christmas season.
Peace to you, our brothers and sisters in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero