Good Friday

Paul has continued with headaches since his surgery last week, but they started to get worse Thursday evening. We are back in the emergency room this morning. I prayed so much during the night, as I kept waking when I heard Paul move. He got up a number of times and was asking for pain medication. Each time I was awake, I prayed for the guidance and strength as we work towards Paul's recovery. Despair certainly describes one emotion felt during the night. I fought to keep praying through the stress I felt, seeking to find some peace in the knowledge that we are not alone 'in the darkness'.

We have been working this week to find a referral to another neurosurgeon, just to get a second opinion. In my research, it appears that shunts have complications of their own and are not always the immediate or perfect answer upon insertion. Also, the over drainage of the brain fluid, which is what has happened to Paul, is a harder problem to solve. Finding the right shunt and setting will be an issue. It appears we might have a longer road ahead than we thought. That is why we were hoping to get a second opinion as to the course of action that needs to be taken. We have prayed that we can avoid unnecessary procedures as they try to find an answer. Unfortunately, we have not been able to see anyone before Paul started back with more severe headaches. We and the doctor had hoped that the problem would not reoccur for at least a month, but in only one week, he is experiencing pain behind his eyes and in the front half of his head. The probable cause would be that the ventricles have again filled with too much brain fluid, causing pressure on the brain, which a shunt will have to relieve. Back to square one. I watched them take out the stitches today from last week's surgery and felt sad knowing that there will be more to come shortly.

As we were waiting in the ER, I looked at the readings for Good Friday. I won't deny that I will really miss being at any of the services today, as hoped. But reading through the scripture passages, it does not matter where we are. We are in union with the world over as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus, Our Saviour. Our day will be offered up to Him.

An sightful writing by Monsignor James Turro, "Seven Last Words" helped me hold onto the trust I cling to each day. He writes -

The Fourth Word:
"My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"
These words, dear Jesus, taken as they stand, speak of a mind-numbing despair. But these are only the opening words of a psalm that is interpenetrated with hope, the psalm which goes on to say, and which you went on to pray: "In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted and you rescued them. To you they cried out and they escaped; in you they trusted and were not disappointed: (Ps22:5-6) In reality then, your mood must not have been one of despair but of unshakable trust. In your darkest hour, you expressed your deepest trust. You show to me and to all that "nothing makes us as great as sorrow: (Alfred de Musset).

And so we forge on, trusting that God is taking us where He wants us to be in this moment. Please pray that the medical staff will be able to find a final solution to this issue of the shunt and the complications that have ensued. I know the prayers will be heard and we will continue to wait patiently for God to bring us where He intends.

I end with this prayer -
"Lord, by shedding His blood for us, your Son, Jesus Christ,
established the paschal mystery. In your goodness, make us holy
and watch over us always. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

In thanksgiving to everyone who has helped us in all ways, we are eternally
grateful. We pray that you will come closer to God than ever before, as you continue your walk with Jesus each day you are graced with life.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

(Hello Thomas Zieg! Tell your family hello - I have thought of you so often!)