The Long and Winding Road

On the tails of that wonderfully high emotional weekend, we followed up with the neurologist on Tuesday morning. He wanted a CAT scan done, so we drove over to the hospital and spent the better part of the day waiting for that and getting the film to take to the doctor this morning. It really drained Paul yesterday, and we had a repeat today since his doctor said that they need to do additional surgery on his brain at 8:00 A.M. Thursday. We had to go over to the hospital again to get all the pre-op done. I was very frustrated because between these 2 days, Paul has been able to eat only 4 meals and had very limited fluid intake. Today they could not even draw blood because he was somewhat dehydrated. They finally let us go and will have to do blood work tomorrow before the surgery. We will try to get Paul as much nutrition and liquids as possible before midnight tonight. A very tiring 2 days for Paul, which caused me to experience a high level of anxiety. Hearing there is to be more surgery on his head caused me to feel great disappointment. I kept looking at Paul all day as he tried to lay his head down somewhere due to the pain, and it was mostly on my shoulder (note to self, bring pillow to all appointments!). I have fought back tears all day as I thought about the added pain from recovery from surgery and the problems with getting him back on a nutritional diet while he is there, without causing him to vomit. I am afraid I have lost so much confidence that this will be the 'fix' and I will need to shore up on my prayerfulness to regain some hope.

We were told that the shunt did a good job....... too good. It drained off too much fluid and that allowed the brain to shrink and let fluid build up on the outer part of the brain, along the skull. They now have to tie off the shunt and then bore a hole into Paul's skull to allow the fluid to drain off. In a couple of months, they will put in a programable shunt. I asked why a programable shunt was not used initially and was told that because it has magnets, it is not used except in more difficult cases and Paul's has turned out to be that. Everytime he gets an MRI done in life, the shunt will have to be reprogramed since the magnets will be affected by any MRI's. They can reprogram from the outside, using magnets. I was told that they could wait a month or so to see if after tying off the shunt, the brain could absorb the fluid in the other area of the brain where it has since accumulated, but if not, then they would have to bore the hole anyway. I sat there listening, knowing that I don't have a clue about what is the best way to go. I prayed so hard after the doctor left the office and asked that the right decision will be made.

I am asking, yes, once again for prayers for the doctor to make the correct decisions concerning Paul so that these procedures will be done with this surgery. Since we don't know anything about shunts/hydrocephalus/brain fluid, we are totally dependent on God's will being done. What I pray also is that Paul will have to suffer as little as possible. I pray that my trust will stay as steadfast as God needs it to. I know I have weakened in these last 2 weeks. Watching Paul suffer from headaches and his almost bedridden state lately, I have so many questions and doubts that plague me. With continued prayer, I know we will find the strength to walk with Paul and follow what is intended for us. LOTS AND LOTS OF PRAYERS!!!! (I remember telling you at the beginning - God picked a very weak servant when he chose me!)

I will keep you updated tomorrow as soon as Paul gets out of recovery and is settled into a room.

The entire Fidero family thank you for all your prayerful support. We always pray for the intentions of those who have carried us in their thoughts and prayers!

Peace to all of you, in Christ Our Lord.
Jon and Rebecca