Let It Be

Joseph Tarantino, Courtney, Bev and Joe Rickels, Stephanie Rose, Paul, Jon and Michael - Sunday afternoon visit






Stephanie Rose, Paul, Jon and Michael











Tuesday Afternoon

The morning sky was gray and it has rained on and off for most of the day. Paul seemed to be hiding behind the clouds also. He did not want to get up and could barely keep awake after getting a bath or breakfast. I was very worried about his lack of energy and we now have an appointment with the neurologist tomorrow morning. I didn't think we should wait until next Tuesday for the regularly scheduled appointment. I will no longer wait to see if things will improve with time, as we have ended up with pneumonia and a build up of fluids on the brain.

Around noon, Paul was finally a lot more alert and he came downstairs to wait for the physical therapist visit. We sat talking and he continued on his new routine of asking a lot of questions about his accident and work and school. The one amazing thing he started to talk about was how wonderful his family is. He kept apologizing for having the accident and causing us all this trouble. I let him know that we didn't consider it trouble, but an awakening to the holiness God wanted from us and the growth in our trust and faith in Him. Paul said, "You are an incredible mother, the best one anyone could have." I said it was easy to be since I had one incredible son. I am not including this to pat myself on the back - not in the least. It was his next statement that made me tear up and thank God for the beginning of a new recovery stage. He went on to say, "Actually, you are the second most incredible mother. The first one is the Blessed Mother." I then took the next 30 minutes to share some of the miraculous things that have happened since his accident to let him know that the Blessed Mother truly had her arms around him and continues to surround him with love and protection. He kept saying how awesome all this has been and then told me again how much he loved his brothers. I remembered the little book that we kept in the waiting room where people had written their thoughts. I told him he would really enjoy reading all the loving things that were written. He read them out loud and then after about 45 minutes of his reading these out loud to me he stopped and looked at me. He said he cannot believe he has such a wonderful family. He started to name all his aunts and uncles and cousins and said that we have a really terrific family. It helped him so much to see that his family and friends were praying for him. Yesterday he was really starting to say things that showed he was experiencing some really emotional lows. I kept reminding him that God has a purpose for all things. I reassured him that even though his head, with all the scars, and his eye that has a patch on it seemed like there was a lot to overcome, I told him how far he has already come and to stay focused on his recovery. Today, after reading some of the comments on the blog and that book filled with loving words and encouragement, Paul seemed to be at much greater peace than yesterday. As he was laying down to take a late afternoon nap, I reminded him that November 11 was the day our family was allowed to see God's love more clearly through all our brothers and sisters in Christ who have surrounded us since then. I also told him about how important that number has become. 11/11 was our new beginning, 1/11 he came home from the hospital, 2/11 was the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and his healing Mass with the Archbishop, 3/11 was the first rosary walk we have been able to participate in since October and he was with us! He sat quietly for a moment and then asked if I remembered that he had the number 11 on his jersey while playing baseball. I said I did not and he said it was actually his favorite number for a long time. He then chuckled and said it was also Laura Batchelor's number on her jersey. That was his very first 'girlfriend' in middle school.

Paul is starting to do things on his own, without us prompting him. Today, as we were talking about his being in the school of music, he said he can hardly wait to get back to playing classical guitar. He remembered his professor's name and the day that he had lessons with him. He then got up and walked to the piano. He warmed up a little bit then spent some time trying to figure out a song. Then he played "Let It Be" all the way through! On Monday evening he got up and picked up his dad's other guitar and started to play along with his dad. Even in our conversations, he is initiating it more each day. He doesn't wait to be spoken to and he is telling us what he is thinking and feeling, rather than sitting there waiting to be asked everything. He is also speaking his mind just a little bit more. Up until Sunday, he would respond only with a yes or no thanks to everything we would ask. Or if we asked how he felt, his simple response would be OK, or not good, but no elaboration. Now he is saying how he feels and then uses some kind of analogy to help us better understand. Like last night, he told his dad his head was really throbbing, like someone with steel boots was dancing on his brain. That definitely let us know he needed a medication a little stronger than 2 Tylenol to knock that one out! His brain is very slowly waking up and the excitement of his brothers is so high they are driving home this weekend. It will be the first time that all 4 brothers will be together since Christmas. Not only that, but the entire Fidero family will be together, as Marie Fidero is coming too! I have not seen my daughter in law since the wedding and I am on cloud nine today, knowing that they are coming.

Monday evening Sharon Nixon brought us dinner and she prayed with the family for Paul and then on Tuesday evening, Patty Palmquist brought Paul chicken salad sandwiches - which were always Paul's favorites. The most incredible gift brought to us so far though was a relic of the Cross of Jesus. A priest at St. John Neumann had this relic and before he died he had given it to a family that was very dear to him. Patty knows them and so she asked if she could bring the relic to our house to pray over Paul and our family. So last night, we sat praying in the presence of this relic of the Cross of Jesus. As we were praying, my sister Bev and her husband Joe came in to visit and they too joined us in prayer. Their son had been sent to Kuwait that day and this was a very joyful moment for them, as we all prayed for the safety of Joseph and our other nephews, Michael Soignet (Marine) and Sean Deegan, (Army Ranger). I cannot believe the many gifts God has allowed us to receive since Paul's accident. We have the first class relics of St. Paul the Apostle, St. John Neumann in Paul's room and have had the relics of St. Faustina and St. Therese brought into our home. November 11th is truly a day that changed our lives but I thank God for the graces and gifts that helped us as we were gently being changed. It is a new pathway to be sure, but clearly it is the one intended for us. This lent has brought an ever new awareness of the sacrifice of Jesus at Calvary and a deeper love of the Son of God. Praise His holy name.

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Wednesday Morning

PLEASE PRAY FOR MARIE FIDERO'S SISTER, DIANE. SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL AND THEY ARE TRYING TO KEEP THE TWINS FROM BEING BORN AT THIS TIME, AS IT IS STILL TOO SOON FOR THEM. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS FOR HER AND HER HUSBAND GLEN AT THIS TIME.
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Peace in Christ to all of you in this Fourth Week of Lent.
Jon and Rebecca