I'm Only Sleeping

Quite a contrast from the last time Mary Beth held Paul's hand!






Paul took this picture for us after our afternoon walk.










Paul, James and Aunt Mary Beth on our afternoon walk








Wednesday, March 1

Paul was evaluated by the occupational therapist today and she will be working on building his strength in his upper body and she will also work on his balance. We have now met with all the therapists that will be coming to our home and I am relieved that Paul's therapies will continue.

My sister, Mary Beth and her 9 yr old son James came to visit us. They will be here through Sunday morning. We picked them up at the airport and I am so disappointed I didn't have the camera ready to catch the look on my sister's face when she saw Paul. I had told Paul that when we stop at the curb to get out to hug his Aunt Mary Beth, as she had not seen him since the 5th day after the accident. I knew she would be amazed at how well Paul had progressed. Paul got out and hugged her and as I came around the van tears were in my eyes as I saw the look on her face. It made me very happy that we could share this moment, especially since she had to leave before Paul woke from his coma. She had to leave five days after his accident, when there was still so much uncertainty about his condition . Mary Beth was with me the day of the accident and thanks be to God was able to drive Michael and me to the hospital. Now,here we were sharing our joy with Paul standing between us at the curb of the Atlanta airport - less than 4 months later! It is so incredibly obvious that God has been the healer and prayers have brought the healing. I have heard it said often by people who have seen Paul that he is truly a miracle. No doubt about it.

James has been so gentle with Paul, and has tried to involve Paul in what he is doing. He talks to Paul like there is nothing wrong, and has not been shy or put off by the patch Paul wears all the time. I remembered back to the day of the accident when we stopped by the house to hurry and get some things before we drove to the hospital. James knew something was seriously wrong with Paul and when we started to drive away from the accident scene, he told me that Paul would be alright. When we got home, he was holding my hand as we went up the stairs inside and as we got to the second floor hallway, I looked at the crucifix on the wall. James and I stopped and prayed under the crucifix because I told James that Jesus loved children very much and Jesus answers the prayers of children. I asked James to say a prayer to Jesus for Paul. He did it so eagerly and sincerely that I felt comfort in that moment. Today, I showed the crucifix to James and asked if he remembered us praying and he said he did. I then pointed to Paul's room and told James that Paul was so much better and in his own room now because James had offered up his prayers. James smiled. I hugged him.

Thursday, March 2

I don't know if I have mentioned this in a previous posting, but I just remembered it. It is just an example of one of the many incredibly caring and thoughtful things that has been done for me. My brother Keith calls me just about every morning to just say hello and let me know he has us in his thoughts and prayers. One morning, I was having a really tough start to the day. I was running late and had really wanted to get to the morning Mass. The harder I tried the more behind we got. I spilled the formula all over Paul and we had to get him changed before we could leave. This is not a quick process. I knew we would be late or maybe not even make it at all. I heard my cell phone ring, but just could not answer it. I knew it had to be Keith and I thought to myself that I would hopefully be able to call him back later. I finished getting Paul ready and got him into the car. I bundled him in the blanket, since it was a very cold morning and then I dashed back into the house to get a couple of other things I needed. I decided to listen to check Keith's voice message as I was doing this. He said "Good morning Sis, Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed it the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Hope you have a great day." That was it. Just a simple prayer shared. As he started the Hail Mary, I stopped at my car door and looked up at the bright morning sky and prayed it with him. I started to cry at this kind and loving act by my brother. I was immediately calmed down and it was a reminder to me to stop when needed and pray for my Mother in heaven to help me with her prayers to Jesus.

Sorry, I digressed. My mind does that a lot now. On to the first day of home therapy for Paul. His speech therapist came and worked with him on a computer program that helps him in the areas of orientation and memory. She also left a copy for me so that I can work with Paul anytime. This will be so helpful, as anyone can work with Paul on it. There are a number of categories which can be chosen, so there is plenty of material for us to work on. She also had him write sentences and then some math. He did not remember how to do division, but after she worked a couple of problems with him, he finished the rest of the worksheet. He just needed to be cued, then he remembered it. He also did multiplication problems and again, had to be shown a couple of problems before he remembered how. She said his spelling is good, as is his math. She was very impressed with his computer skills. Once again she said that it was amazing how well Paul is progressing, given the extent and seriousness of his injuries. She said she believes very much in the power of prayers and Paul is a perfect example.

We took Paul on a walk at the park, since Mary Beth could hold onto Abby's leash. It seemed like it might start to rain, so we kept up a brisk pace. Paul kept up the pace. He did not have a problem with balance until near the end of the walk when he was getting weaker. He never did get out of breath, which is a good sign concerning his lungs.

His physical therapist came in the late afternoon. Paul had taken an hour nap, so he was ready to go when she came. She gave him small tasks to do to see if he could start it and complete all the steps necessary to accomplish her request. For example, she asked him to get a cup of ice water. He walked to the kitchen, got a cup, got ice from the freezer and then poured the water. He did not need any cueing. She said this was terrific and that we need to give him small jobs to do so he can work on figuring out the steps needed to do them. She told me that while we need to be near Paul when he walks, we are only to have our hand near him to prevent him falling, but not to hold him on his arm. He needs to work on his balance and is depending on us too much. He will get a better sense of balance if he is left on his own. He will learn how to steady himself in time. She asked him to walk around inside the house 4 times and after the second time around, she said he had 2 more 'laps'. He stopped and said that he already did walk around 4 times. She said "No, you have only completed 2." His response was "Allegedly". He obviously thought she was lying to him and his tone was edgy when he responded to her. Mary Beth and I were down in the family room and we held our laughter when we heard him say this. It was a real 'Paul' type of response. He did well in this first session. The therapist mentione again that we need to make sure Paul does everything for himself as he is physically capable. While we think we are helping Paul, it is only slowing his recovery. I have to admit, I am guilty as charged. I guess I have been 'duped' by Paul. His behavior had us thinking he is too weak to do these things. She showed that he is very capable of following directions, thinking simple tasks through. He has enough energy to do most everything for himself. We need to be standing by for his balance only. But it is definitely time to stand back and let him get on with accomplishing a lot more on his own. The therapist said it is very normal for people to do this for a very sick member of the family. It is now time to let him meet some tougher goals. We will start 'basic training' immediately. Paul may be smiling less............now I really wish I had gotten that picture of Paul with his Aunt Mary Beth. When he was still in the mood to smile!

Paul is a great son and he has been very even tempered through all of this. But I also know that he is incredibly strong willed and does not like being told what to do, especially having it done all day long. We will have to be very creative in our approach. We may even have to read "The Strong Willed Child" again! We had to work very hard today to keep Paul up and awake. He has gotten too used to taking naps all throughout the day. We sat on both sides of him when he was on the couch to keep him from sleeping. He asked why we were sitting so close and I explained that he needed to stay awake. He wanted to know why. One more time I explained that he will only get stronger if he stays awake and stays active. He said "That's probably true." Very good answer Paul.

I tried a new approach and bargained with him to get him to eat his meals. I let him know he could earn a 15 minute nap once his food is gone. I made sure there was a manageable amount of food so he was successful, which is very important for him. We have made it through 2 meals and I am getting ready for our 3rd attempt. Say a prayer that he can get his appetite back. He needs to improve his appetite, which in turn will give him more strength and will then be able to gain some endurance. It all starts with eating.

We were able to get to Mass for First Friday, so my heart is filled with joy today. I started praying to Mary as soon as I woke up, that all obstacles would be taken away. We have not made it to Mass since Tuesday morning and I really had high hopes for today. All went well and Paul was able to receive Holy Communion. It was wonderful to be with Mary Beth and James to celebrate the Mass with us as we start our Lenten season. Jesus walks with us every step of the way. That is His promise to us. His help is visibly clear and more than expected. I reflected on this as I remembered Mary Beth's face at the accident scene and how she looked as she hugged Paul at Mass today. O Sacred Heart of Jesus, praise be your Holy Name!

We are asked throughout our lives to take up our cross and with our lives complete the way. A priest once said in a homily that it does not matter whether we are at work or in our homes, make them our altars where we can offer our love and our sacrifices to God. I will offer all that happens today up to Him.

God bless you in each moment as it comes to you and with faith and trust know that it has a purpose.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero