I Forgot to Remember to Forget

The last 2 days have been less eventful, but progress is being made. The occupational therapist saw Paul for the last time with the instructions to keep his upper body excercises going and keep increasing the weight slowly. His left side is not ready for weights on some of the excercises, but he has gained increased mobility with his left arm. His left leg is strong now and it is no longer necessary for him to wear the cast on his leg as he was doing after being at Northside hospital. His daily walking has really helped him gain all the flexibility he needs to walk heel first. We are working on increasing the pace of his walks and the length of his stride. The excercises to help him gain his sense of balance will help him feel confident to take a longer stride in his steps. It is all a very slow process, but all we have to do is look back at where we were and know that he is walking forward, most definitely.

The only constraint we have at this time is the headache issue. Headaches are to be expected, but his is continual throughout the day and night. He is now waking at night and trying to go downstairs to get medicine for his head. We have had him use an ice pack the last 2 nights, which seems to bring him relief. Years ago, I had experienced migraines that caused stroke symptoms. I had been to 3 doctors before finding one who only dealt with headaches. He prescribed a medication that was the immediate answer. My brother Jim also went to this neurologist and had great success. I had referred 2 of my friends to him and they also had relief after seeing him. On Wednesday, my brother Jim reminded me of Dr. Walker and I have made an appointment with him. Paul will see him Wednesday. Hopefully he will be able to quickly assess what Paul will need and we won't have to go through the guessing game of what medication would be best. Paul doesn't need to waste time on experimenting with different drugs to find a solution and the possible side effects medications have. The prescription Provigil that the neurologist at Shepherd Hospital prescribed on Monday has side effects of headaches, so I have not continued using it for now. The headaches are limiting Paul in all activities and even his appetite. Who wants to eat when their head is throbbing? The headaches need to be controlled as our next priority, so that the recovery continues at a constant rate. He is in a lot of pain lately.

Paul's friend Karen McMichael comes to read to him at night once a week, as I mentioned before. He seems to fall asleep better after she has done this for him. With his head hurting like it has the past few nights, I decided to read to him to help him focus on a story instead of his pain. On Tuesday night, I had started a book by C.S. Lewis from Chronicles of Narnia. I had just finished the first chapter and Jon and Michael came into the room. They had just come back from the store and they had purchased a lottery ticket just for fun. Michael asked Paul what car he wanted in case the ticket was the winning ticket. Paul said he wanted a Corvette. That is the car Paul has always liked and had even told Jonathan Tarantino that he would buy one for once Paul became famous! Michael said "That's right brother, I will get you one if we win". Jon and Michael got on Paul's computer to look at the cars they would get and were showing Paul the kinds they wanted. Michael didn't ask me what I wanted, he said, "I already know what mom wants. She will just want a newer van". I was asked what color. (These are the kinds of conversations where I am reminded that another female in the house would be fun! Cars and computers..........my eyes glaze over at the mention of them.............smile.) Anyway, the conversations about cars continued and then Jon left the room. Michael continued telling us all the options he would have on his car (yawn, again) and then Paul said "OK Thanks Mike bye now Mom and I are talking." Paul said it as fast as you can read that sentence. Michael and I looked at each other and we both were shocked to hear Paul say something like that. He said it very matter of factly and all in one breath and no breaks. Michael laughed and said, "Okay brother, get a good nights sleep." He hugged Paul and left. I looked at Paul and asked what he wanted to talk about. He asked, "Weren't you reading a story to me?" I told him I was and he said to please continue! I read through Chapter 2 and had a page to go before reaching Chapter 3. Paul asked me what page I was on and I told him page 34. He asked if I could remember that number. I told him I could and asked if he wanted me to stop. When he said yes, I told him I had only 2 paragraphs until Chapter 3 and did he want me to just finish the chapter. He did. What made me the happiest was that Paul remembered that he had been listening to a story being read, even after all the conversation about cars. He doesn't really remember the therapists coming after about 1/2 hour after they have left! This showed that if it is something of importance to Paul, he will remember it better. As we go through the day, I go over what we have done every couple of hours to continue to help Paul review his day and hopefully help him hold more in his memory.

Paul has brought so much joy to our home. He says the funniest things and we always seem to be laughing. Yesterday I was working with him on repeating a series of numbers. I would give him the category and then the set of numbers. Some of the categories were years of birth, like 1958, 1926, 1989, 1972. I give him the category and then the numbers and ask him to repeat the numbers back to me and then to repeat them backwards. One category, which I have to admit was kind of weird to me was the age at which people might live to, as in 72, 90, 83, 79, 86. I said the numbers and asked Paul to repeat them. He didn't answer after about 10 seconds, so I said "repeat the numbers I gave you which are the ages to which people might live to." He looked at me and said "old." Great summarizing Paul! Very much in keeping with his trait of always taking the easiest route. Another thing I have noticed is that he says what is on his mind. He has always been very introspective he noticed more things and details than he would voice out loud. Yesterday, as we walked down the street, he asked me what the flowers were that we had just passed. I told him daffodils. He asked if they were all daffodils, since there were white and yellow flowers. I said yes and he asked if they just grow or do they have to be planted. I said they had to be planted in late Fall. He said that we should plant those because they were pretty. (I will see if Paul will help me plant them in the Fall, not that he will remember discussing flowers!) Before the accident, Paul might have thought about how he liked the flowers but would not have said anything. The fact that he was a 21 yr old male would have a lot to do with it, to be sure. But since he doesn't have the inhibitions at this point in his recovery, he says what he is thinking. It makes our day interesting and as mentioned, full of laughter. These instances are what I refer to as God's hand placing bread crumbs on our pathway, leading us along and bringing us joy as we travel. I can't fathom not believing there is a Father in heaven who loves us children and wants us all to return to Him. He just gives us too many signs along the way.

I want to publicly thank all those who continue to bring us our 'daily bread', otherwise referred to as dinner. It is a tremendous gift that we appreciate so much. Michael most especially, as it is like going out to eat every night. Our parish, St. Stephen's has a ministry called Helping Hands and they provide meals to those who need help in the parish and also provide meals after funerals to the family and friends of the deceased and other various occasions. Jon and I can hardly wait to pay forward when we get the first chance! We have had the chance to meet new people when they bring the meals and also to visit with those friends we know. What a wonderful gift this ministry is. God bless all that they do.

God's peace and blessings to you and all that is in your day,
Jon and Rebecca

ps. Even with a headache, Paul took his trash can back upstairs. He does a number of other things like bringing his dishes to the sink when he is done, hanging his towels back up and hanging his coat up. I get a second chance with Paul to help him create better habits , which a future wife will surely appreciate! Hope it all 'takes'......big smile.