Stand by me

Paul, Mike and Abby taking it easy





Paul was exceptionally tired today when I picked him up at 3 P.M. from his therapy sessions. We started out the day with a prolonged effort of getting Paul out of bed. We had to move his legs off the bed and then help him sit up on the side of it. From there we got him standing and then walking to the bathroom. He started out very tired at 5:45 A.M. and finished tonight as a very exhausted young man. As tired as he was, he was able to get up off the couch with no help at all. This was a first for him. He has damage to his left ear and consequently, is very dizzy and off balance as he gets up from a resting position. This evening, his younger brother Michael relieved me of the duty of getting Paul upstairs for the bed time process. He stood by Paul and asked him if he could get up all by himself and then backed away to see if Paul could do it without a lot of cueing and physical help. He stood by very patiently, encouraging Paul to get himself up off the couch. This meant Paul would have to figure out how to get up and not fall off the couch since he had no one to help him get his balance. He also had to have the strength to do it, which would be difficult because it was the end of a very long day. Paul gave the usual 'one min
ute' gesture and after a moment, he brought his right knee up to his chest and clasped his arms around his bent knee and 'rocked' himself up to a sitting position. He then swung his legs to the floor, and after waiting another moment, stood up from the couch. Mike stood behind him as he climbed up the stairs and went into the bathroom to get his teeth brushed. All Paul needed was someone to 'Stand by me.' I am so thankful to God for the help given by Michael (and also that he was not hurt in the accident!) I found myself praying as I followed them both up the stairs. My prayer was of total thanksgiving for all the wonders of the past 68 days and the happiness I have so often experienced on my pathway.

The music therapist told me today that Paul played the guitar for almost an hour. I am very glad to know they are working with Paul through music. It is a real connection for him. Last night, Paul had finally played guitar with his dad again. It was so much fun listening to the music coming from the front room and seeing Jon's face as he shared this with Paul after all this time. It was just as fun finding Paul's favorite guitar pick in the bottom of the washer this morning.............just like I found it so many times in years past! I absolutely love these simple pleasures in life.


Each day brings signs that God's hand is guiding us along. He shows me that I am not alone, nor is anyone for that matter. I will feel sad or discouraged by how much of the day Paul spends in a mental fog, then he will do something that makes me laugh out loud or well up with joyful tears. I know immediately that God is pouring out His strength and love. At times I have felt so unworthy of all this love that has carried me through all these days. I know I can not earn His love, but I feel like I fall short so many times in my efforts to love Him more perfectly. A few days ago I realized that I had missed so many opportunities to be prayerful with Paul. We had been driving to and from Pathways and I did not remember once to say prayers with him. When I thought of it, in shock and dismay, I had to wonder why God would keep sending me signs of His love, when I fail him so miserably. Then, last night, I picked up Voume I in a series on spirituality. (Thank you Sue and Chris Kane for the full set!) The books were written by a woman named Anne, who is a mother of six children, a wife and a Secular Franciscan. In the first few pages, I read these words - "Jesus said, 'I did not come to you because you were worthy. I won't leave you because you are not." So often, as I meditate on things in my life and my relationship with God, I am sent specific responses that provide answers or confirm my thoughts and prayers. I know in my heart that God is letting me know to continue to persevere, even though I may fail. I have had these books since Christmas, and without any thought, picked one of them up as I headed upstairs that night. And there was an answer to the questioning and doubt I was experiencing. Once again I was reminded of the words of Jesus "Ask and you will receive, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened." God allows us to practice this every day.

A glimmer of Paul came through today. After we got home, he slept for about 2 hours. I woke him up so that he would be totally awake when it came time for dinner. I asked him if he would like to come downstairs and sit in his lounge chair. Prior to the accident, Paul and Mike had the habit of substituting the word 'meow' for 'now'. It came from a movie they had seen. So the response today when I asked Paul if he wanted to come downstairs was "No thanks, not right meow." So I went downstairs by myself, but with a great big smile on my face.

This evening, Patty Palmquist and her daughter Kara stopped by for a visit. They brought Paul a rosary that Paul's brother Jon had given them after he had come back from Medjugorje, Croatia. Jon had the rosary with him when he was with the visionary Ivan, during an apparition of the Blessed Mother. He was told it had been blessed during the apparition. Patty felt called to bring it back to Paul. So,this will be the rosary we will use to pray on our way to and from Pathways! Hopefully, Paul will also be able to use it again in the months ahead when he can join us when we go on our monthly 5 mile rosary walk. 3 years ago, the Palmquists invited anyone from our parish to join them in a monthly rosary walk around Stone Mountain. Unfortunately, we have not been able to be with them since October and can hardly wait to get back on track as it has brought many blessings to those of us who have been a part of it.

I also wanted to thank Skip Gibbs (who works at GuideOne Insurance) and the people at Sunrise Baptist Church. One of the ministries at the church is to provide 'prayer blankets' to people who are sick or need comforting. Paul is covered with his 'prayer blanket' in the picture that is posted above. There is a patch that is sewn on the blanket with the following prayer:

To A Very Special Person,
This prayer blanket is an expression of God's love for you. We pray that it will bring you comfort. When life gets tough, wrap yourself in it and remember you are loved.
"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Your Friends at Sunrise Baptist Church, Lawrenceville GA

Skip gave it to me a few days after Paul's accident, and told me that he got all the ministers from the church together that day to pray before bringing us this blanket. It has been used by me on a number of occasions when I was sitting with Paul during his stay at Gwinnett Medical Hospital. They had to keep Paul's room very cold because of his fevers and I believe also, in an effot to help keep the brain from swelling too much. So I wrapped up in it to keep warm, and it worked exactly as it was supposed to. Now, Paul has it with him everyday.

God has come to our family in hundreds of ways through so many people. Our sincerest thanks to all. May grace, mercy and peace be with you from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero