Sunday, January 22, 2006

A MASSive Effort and Reward!

Jon, Paul and Fr. Paddy








Fr. Paddy administers the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick for Paul after Mass







Paul does the sign of the cross with holy water as we leave church






I have always loved singing the GLORIA at Mass each Sunday. There have been so many times in my life when I find myself singing this prayer, whether the moment is one of sadness or joy. In these last 10 weeks, I have come to understand even more clearly that we need to lovingly praise God in all things.

THE GLORIA

Glory to God in the highest, and peace to His people on earth.
Lord, God, heavenly King, Almighty God and Father, we worship you,
we give you thanks, we praise you for your glory.
Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of the Father,
Lord God, Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world:
have mercy on us;
you are seated at the right hand of the Father:
receive our prayer.
For you alone are the Holy One, you alone are the Lord,
you alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ, with the
Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father. Amen.

Today, with tears in my eyes, I sang this prayer with my heart and a love for God that felt like it would burst my heart open. God, in His goodness, allowed Paul to be in between Jon and I at Mass today. The waiting these last 10 weeks was rewarded far more wonderfully than I could have imagined. We got up at 6 A.M. in the hopes of getting to the 8:30 Mass on time. We made it with only about 4 minutes to spare. I was happy when Paul was able to tell us where he was when we walked in. We went over to Fr. Paddy and Paul shook his hand, then hugged him. Fr. Paddy told Paul he looked 'grand' and Paul answered "So do you!" We walked to our usual place and Jon started to help Paul, thinking he would just sit down in the pew. Instead, Paul stopped and genuflected and did the sign of the cross. He remembered! Jon looked over at me with a look of complete surprise and happiness. We could not believe our eyes. Paul spends so much of his day in what appears to be a confused fog, yet he will surprise us with things like this.

Paul was doing well and was sitting and standing at the correct times. He needed to leave at the Offertory to use the restroom and I thought that that would be the exent of his attendance. About 20 minutes passed and after I received Communion, I went out to let Jon come back so he could receive Communion also. He and Paul were just coming back, so Jon walked him up the middle aisle and they were the last 2 receiving Communion. After Mass ended, Fr. Paddy announced that Paul was back at church for the first time since his accident and asked everyone to keep praying for his recovery and our family since we still had a long way to go. Then everyone started to clap for Paul and he smiled at us and then looked around, smiling at the people. He was hugged and welcomed back by a number of our friends and he handled it all very well. I knew he would not remember any of this an hour later, but in the moment, he was very happy. And we would remember it forever for him.

The sweetest thing about Paul these days is his gentle nature. It has been magnified since the accident. He readily hugs people when they come to visit and he always thanks Jon, Michael or me for just about everything we do for him. He is so patient with all the things I have to do for him throughout the day and the only sign of stubborness is at 5:45 A.M. each morning. He does not like waking up early - never has!(I can relate heavily.......smile.) It takes about 20 minutes of helping him sit up and then stand and then walk to the shower. He says "one more minute", "5 more minutes" or "no thanks, not right now Dad" when Jon tells him it is time to get up. He then stands in the shower for about 20 minutes and there is no hurrying him. We let him enjoy it as we feel he has earned his long showers.

I do find so much joy in caring for Paul. He shows his love for us so often and I know he is very secure in the fact that he is loved in return. He is so content at home. I pray everyday for his continued recovery and look forward to the day he is able to get back into the world on his own. But for right now, I am grateful to God for all the moments I have been able to share with Paul. He again won't remember much of this, but I will. I am thankful to God for the grace to find joy in each day, even though there is so much to do in caring for Paul and there is no certainty about how much recovery Paul will have. While I pray and look forward to the day Paul will be able to live on his own and enjoy life in every way a parent hopes for their children, I am content with the love God shows for us each day through Paul and those who are supporting us in so many ways.

This day was so much more special because I was signed up for adoration at 4 P.M. at Corpus Christi Catholic Church. (There are Catholic churches throughout the world where people sign up to pray for an hour. That means that every hour of every day, people are praying for the needs of their families, friends and the world.) I was thinking about how our family has been so blessed with Paul's life, his continued recovery and the love in which our family has been surrounded, and that as a family, we should sit together in prayerfulness in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. I prayed that Paul would be awake and be cooperative at this time. Each day is a bit different and I am never sure how Paul will feel at a particular time. At 3:15 we started to get Paul up from a nap and he miraculously got up within about 8 minutes and we were in the car by 3:40. We got there in plenty of time. One memory I will always have is Paul taking his Dad's hand as they walked into church together. We sat in prayer for the full hour and then stopped for chinese take out food on the way home. Paul ate fairly well, but then he took a sip of milk and his effort came to a stop. Mike and I glanced at each other, hoping he would be able to swallow it. I got up and stood behind Paul and prayed for Jesus to help him. It took about 2 minutes, but Paul finally swallowed the milk! He was able to swallow 2 more drinks of milk. The last sip he was not able to swallow, but I continued to thank Jesus for helping him.

Then the most wonderful thing happened. Mike had gone into the front room and was playing the piano, and he called out to Jon and Paul to come in and 'jam' with him. Jon got Paul's favorite guitar and handed it to him and then they all did some warming up. After about 10 minutes, Jon started to play a song he and Paul played and Paul started to play a solo part and it was exactly the same thing he used to do. The timing and notes were perfect for the chords that Jon was playing. Jon just looked over at me and I knew it was pure joy for him in that moment in time with his son. He and Paul used to play together so much and were working on music for some mini concerts they wanted to play for friends and family out on our deck. Jon has been playing his guitar almost nightly since the accident and it has made me cry hearing him in that room all alone. I knew it was Jon's way of finding some comfort in all of this, playing with the hope of Paul joining him again. And this was the night it happened! Paul went on to play things he knew and was doing it fairly well. After about 25 more minutes, Paul lifted his guitar up and Jon took it from him. Paul was exhausted and he laid his head down on the pillow on the couch. He would have stayed there all night if we had let him. We helped him upstairs and got him settled in for the night.

Tonight, I could hardly wait to share all this with everyone. I had started to write this posting earlier this morning, then all these wonderfully sweet events kept unfolding. All of this has helped me remember that as long as we keep trusting in the love of Jesus, He will illuminate our pathways and will lead us. My prayers for Paul and his recovery will be according to God's will. And I will walk contentedly beside Jesus, with my hand in His. As I have watched Paul and shared so much time with him in this last week and a half, I have been so thankful for all the wonderful memories I will have for life, of his gentle smile and ways. It is a gift from God.

Glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth.

May the Light of Christ shine before you and within you.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

January 23, 2006

Wow, you guys know how to get a persons day going. Yes, had to use the tissues again. What wonderful news. What a great day for all of you.

It is so amazing to witness Gods work so clearly. We are so excited to hear that you were able to swallow some of you milk at dinner, take communion at Church and end the evening playing music with Mike and Jon. What a day!!!!

This is all such great news. I am so happy I was able to read this before I go off and start my day; it makes me fell so different about life, friends, family and most important, “God” in our life’s.

We will continue to pray for all of you. Thanks again Rebecca for sharing!

Love to you all,

Aunt Debi

Anonymous said...

It is not coincidental that Paul's return to St. Stephen's was on ProLife Sunday. Be asssured Our Lord has it all planned out.

Chip's first Mass was on the feast of Our Lady's Assumption!

Anonymous said...

As far as I know, your son had a loving heart and a gentle disposition from day one. Needing people to help me with simple daily routines would easily frustrate me, but Paul's humility has taught me a great lesson (as have your patience and loving care for your son). You guys are in my prayers constantly.
Geneva

Anonymous said...

To all the Fidero's
Just want you to know that everyday when I read this site God just sends such blessings
People everywhere who read this have recieved courage to reach out to God with their own problems. Pelase don't stop writing in this blog.WAY TO GO PAUL..........KEEP IT UP