Paully Fidero!!! (who's awesome)

Oh! My gosh, Oh! My Gosh, Oh! My gosh!
So many days worth of wonderful family love shared and how we missed our 'Paully'.
We left Paul sleeping on Thursday night, and as the plane left the ground on Friday morning at 6:45 a.m., I was able to see the skyline of Atlanta and knew that my son was right near those buildings at Shepherd Center. For the first time, I felt so much of the sadness I had kept down inside, in my effort to stay focused on Paul's recovery effort. I was leaving a severely brain injured son behind, and heading to the most joyful event of my first son's wedding. The emotions of both were at oppposite ends of the spectrum for a parent. The tears started to flow and for the first time, I was able to really just let them flow. No one needed my assistance and I could do nothing for any of my sons in that moment, so I let my guard down and let the pain come up to the top. I was glad to have that time to myself, as the preparations for Thanksgiving, Christmas and the wedding had kept my mind so busy in between the time my mind was so much on Paul's recovery and the preparation of his arrival home on January 11. It provided me so much relief to sit and think about the past 7 weeks and shift through all my thoughts and emotions. I was so thankful to God for that time, and most especially as we got up over the clouds and it was nothing but clear blue sky and brilliant sunshine. How God delights our eyes with the beauty of His world, and I had a wonderful 'birds eye view'. The day was clear in Boston and the ocean was glistening in the sunshine as we landed. It was a magnificent sight indeed and I was able to enjoy a 'pocket of peace'.

I had spoken to my sister Beverly, who was with Paul while we were gone, and she said he had stopped eating after we left. She and her husband spent every day with Paul and they said he wasn't really talking at all. They had played cards with him and sat with him at meal time, but he was not really responding very much to anyone's efforts. They said the nurse told them that he was doing well in so many areas and that the efforts to use the restroom during the day were great. But they could not get him to eat. I heard about this on Saturday night and of course, this weighed heavily on my mind until we got back. We had hoped he would be off the feeding tube by this week. This was an area he had actually regressed. I knew that this would be one of many times where Paul would be taking those '2 steps forward, one step back'. When our plane landed yesterday, we drove straight to the hospital to be with Paul. By the grace of God, they were just beginning to deliver the trays of food to the patients. We sat down with Paul and he started to eat his lunch just like he had before. The nurse came over and called out to the other nurse "Look at Paul, he's eating!!!" I explained that we were back from our son's wedding and had left on Friday. She said he had stopped eating that day and this was the first meal he had eaten since that time. She was so happy to see us and see that Paul would hopefully get back on track with eating full meals. I was also grateful that he ate a large lunch, as he had a testing period of 2 straight hours right after lunch. It reminded me of the hundreds of times I have told the boys to eat a good breakfast before taking any exams at school and I thanked God we had come just in time to help him.

The wedding was so beautiful and I was so joyous as I watched Jon and Marie celebrate the sacrament of Marriage. The Mass was about 1 hour and 15 minutes long, but it was a most glorious day for our combined families, it seemed to speed along so much more quickly than that. Jon had been upset about a lot of little things that were going wrong at the last minute (as they do in all weddings) and had been pretty tense on Saturday. Fr. Jack reminded him that the most important thing that mattered was the actual sacrament Jon and Marie would be sharing and the rest would fall into place as intended. He was able to relax after getting to the Hennessy's for the New Year's Eve celebration, where all the students from Ave Maria, family, friends and wedding guests all welcomed in the new year. And to top it off, there was a 5" layer of fresh snow outside for us to enjoy as we left. The scene was serene along with the 'quiet' that comes right after a snow. I grew up in the North, so this was a really wonderful present to me, as I still love the snow.

The next day, Jon came by the hotel to be with his dad and me. We told him we had a surprise for him from his original 'best man'. We started the DVD we had taped on the last night we were with Paul, as a present from Paul to Jon. We had gotten Paul into a dress shirt and we had asked Paul to let Jon know he loved him. Paul took a minute to adjust the shirt at the neck, then looked into the camera and he very quietly said "I love you...........Johnny". He then gave a simple wave of his hand as a good bye gesture. We all cried as we watched Paul, and Jon was very deeply touched by his brother's message. We told Jon that Paul had the best of BEST MAN SPEECHES, since that was all that needed to be said between these 2 young men who love each other so much. Jon said that not having Paul there was the toughest part for him, and that it contributed to what had made him so upset about all the other little things going wrong. We reminded him again that God's hand is in all things and that Satan would try to wreck havoc on this most holy sacrament between 2 very devout Catholics. But we have the choice to keep joy in our hearts no matter what, and Jon needed to choose the joy that God intended for him and Marie. The rest of the day was an incredibly blessed day and one where 2 families were brought together with a lot of love. Both the Hennessy's and the Fidero's felt blessed with the marriage of Jon and Marie and we all look with great joy and faith to the future of these children of God.

When we visited Paul last night we got one more surprise. I asked Paul if he could write his name, as I wanted to see if he was writing more legibly. He wrote the title of this blog........"Paully Fidero!!! (who's awesome)" - We laughed so hard when he gave the writing board back to show us. He later added the words "would probably not be anything else." He spoke very clearly and in full sentences to his Uncle Mike on the cell phone also. We had spoken to Paul on the cell phone the night before we came home, and he was speaking very clearly in response to our questions. (We could hardly wait to get home at that point!) The conversation with his Uncle Mike let us know that he is slowly but surely healing and we are so hopeful about the amount of recovery possible. I did receive a call today from his therapist that he was not eating his lunch, so they had me talk to Paul to encourage him to eat. I will know later this afternoon if my 'pep talk' helped! I think that Paul may be upset on some level, knowing his brother is no longer physically present and that we were not with him for 4 days. We will have to help him find other reasons to stay motivated in recovering all of his abilities.

So please keep praying for Paul and all those who suffer. Katherine Shea, a dear friend of Jon and Marie's, gave me a book of John Paul II's prayers on behalf of people suffering with illness or living with disability. He states "The Church is a society where those who are suffering find a special welcome. Christianity reveals that pain is not futile; rather it conceals a true meaning and value. Christianity is woven of suffering and joy, of passion and resurrection. Alongside those who suffer there is always a loving heart. It is a heart capable of beating in tune with that of our brothers and sisters in pain."

May you all be graced with the knowledge and understanding that the poor and sick of this world are our stairway to heaven, as stated so truthfully by Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta. May you receive great graces from God for having taken the time to keep us all in your prayers. They are helping us increase our faith, hope and love in God each day!

Love,
The 'other' Mr. and Mrs. Jon Fidero