Name That Tune !!!

This past weekend was a good one for Paul because of his ability to be much more mobile. He was able to be out of his wheelchair most of the time, and walks fairly steadily. He needs someone to be by his side to prevent any falls, but he holds his own 90% of the time. Physically, Paul is showing great improvements.

He still cannot swallow liquids. It is the most peculiar thing, and I spoke to his doctor about it. They are wondering about it too, and have not been able to figure out why this has become a problem. He can swallow liquids if he is given it by spoon, but no other way. Twice this weekend, Paul picked up his cup like he was determined to follow through, but each time after he took a sip, he came to a complete stop. He eventually has to spit it out and then continues with eating. We sat for 15 minutes each time, waiting until he would finally concede and get rid of it. It is so puzzling and I have stepped up my prayers of request to God. It is out of my hands or expertise, and apparently the hospital has not been able to resolve the issue at this time. It means a delay for Paul's getting into a full day at the Shepherd Pathways program, which is a disappointment. This is another time for us to hold onto our faith and trust in God, knowing He is the one leading the way. It is also a test of our patience as we watch Paul struggle with this unexplainable glitch to his progress. He developed this problem 11 days ago and no one has the answer. I know that God's hand is in all things.

I have always hated suspense in any way. I am the one who reads the last chapter or two of a book to know how it ends before I start the book. If someone in the family has seen a movie before me, I beg them to tell me the end if it gets too scary or suspenseful. In fact, my brother in law has more than once said to everyone before we start a movie "If anyone has seen this movie, don't tell Rebecca because she will ask a million questions!" I love that you can rent movies now, because I have the ability to see the end first. So, for God to choose me to live this pathway with Paul is ironic. Those who know me well know that this is exactly the kind of scenario I don't handle well. I cannot fast forward to see how this will turn out, I can't read the end chapter. I have to wait. I have to completely trust that God will not give us more than we can handle. I have to trust that He will answer this in HIS TIME and in HIS WAY. I have no control at all. In all honesty, it is the hardest test in my life so far.

Just when I think I can't take it anymore, I get another bread crumb on the pathway from God. I had asked Paul on Saturday night if he knew the difference between happy and sad. He said "Why do you ask?" I said that he didn't seem to show any emotions anymore. I asked him if his brother Jon would walk into the room at that moment, would he be happy. He said yes. I then asked him what makes him sad. He said "This home makes me sad." I told him that he was not at home, he was in a hospital and asked what about the hospital made him sad. He said "The people, the sounds, the smells." I was glad to know he could verbalize what bothered him, since he mostly just looks around him and never talks. So I told Paul that he would becoming home the next day for the whole day, and then in 2 days after that, he would come home for good. On Sunday, we were able to bring Paul home for a day visit. He was very sad and distant when we got to the hospital. He didn't seem to understand why we were there. I was thinking it may not be a good home visit for him after all. We got him into the car and he just stared straight ahead. As we got closer to home, he started to look around and seemed to finally understand where he was going. As we walked into the garage, Mike came out of the house and said he was sorry, but he had just make popcorn and it burned and he tried to get the smell out with Lysol spray and now the house smelled really bad. I had to laugh, as I remembered Paul saying he hated the smells of the hospital........wait til he got into the house! Sure enough, it was a pretty bad smell. Mike said "sorry bro" and Paul gave him the thumbs up. I went straight to the kitchen and made chocolate chip cookies to offset the smell. It worked like a charm. Paul went to the big lounge chair and he immediately took off his hat and slid the chair back into the reclining position. He was home and he knew it! Later, he went to the front room and Mike told him the piano was tuned. So he sat down and to my total amazement, played some chords all the way up the keyboard to test it. Then he played a song, using both hands very well and we all listened. His Aunt Bev and Uncle Joe were there, along with Brenda Stoll,( our neighbor who came by at that moment to bring some soup) Geneva and Matt Velker. We all listened while I taped it and it was the most wonderful moment.

God gave me a way to handle the suspense.....He gave me a movie to watch whenever I get worried about the ending!!!

Please continue to pray for Paul and for all those who are suffering. The suspense is a tough test.

Love to everyone. I want you all to know, we have had our spirits lifted on high as we read your comments. What a treasure this site has been. It will also provide great reading when we put it into book form. I hear the last chapter will be the best!
Jon and Rebecca Fidero