Only You

The teachings of Christ were difficult to accept for many of those around him. Even though Jesus was physically in their midst, touching them, instructing them, a living example of holiness for them to see, there were many who withdrew and went their separate ways. When Jesus asked the twelve apostles, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answered, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we believe that you are the Holy One of God."

Jesus continues to ask each generation the same question - "Do you also wish to go away?"
It has been 15 months since the accident and I can honestly say that I understand how people could turn away from God in their difficult struggles, wondering where God was, and why were they allowed to suffer for so long. While 15 months may seem like a long time to us, it is a very short time in relation to the suffering of so many others. It is also a very short time in the whole scheme of things. Each day when Paul wakes up, I have a moment of expectancy that he will be free of his headaches, hopeful that the big day has arrived! Each morning, I find that he is still in very bad pain and there will be a long day ahead for him. Each morning, I can't help but feel disappointment for him. But, by the grace of God, I find myself immediately talking to Jesus, asking Him to provide the strength for all of us to turn it over to his loving care and to provide us once again, the grace to accept His answer for the day and offer everything up for the glory of God. I haven't a clue how long this recovery process will last, but since I have only today, I will answer the question Jesus possed to Peter with a 're-Pete'......."Lord, to whom shall we go?"

This response was again brought to light today after Mass. I found out that the message delivered by Pope Benedict on Ash Wednesday was a break from the traditional message of charity in this season of Lent. He spoke about the perfect example of God's love for us - Jesus Christ crucified.

"Dear brothers and sisters, let us look at Christ pierced on the Cross! He is the unsurpassing revelation of God's love, a love in which eros and agape, far from being opposed, enlighten each other.

On the cross, it is God himself who begs the love of His creature; He is thirsty for the love of everyone of us.

Jesus said: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself. (Jn 12:32) The response the Lord ardently desires of us is, above all, that we welcome His love and allow ourselves to be drawn to Him. Accepting His love, however, is not enough. We need to respond to such love and devote ourselves to communicating it to others. Christ 'draws me to Himself ' in order to unite Himself to me, so that I can learn to love the brothers with His own love."

This message of Pope Benedict is a call for a greater converstion of our hearts and a greater awareness of God's love for us, so that in turn we will 'regive' that same love with them. We can share that love with those who are in most need.

This morning, Paul said that he is experiencing feelings of sadness about what he has lost. I told him that I was glad to hear him talk about it. Those feelings are valid and they are to be expected. I told him I would worry if he didn't experience them. He seems to be gaining more awareness of what all this means in his life. He has a clear understanding that he was asked by God to take a different direction in his life. But he is now experiencing more and more the weight of that change. He said he was not angry, just feeling very, very sad about what he has lost. After awhile, he came over to me and took my hand and started to pray that Jesus would heal his eye and help him with his music again and help him gain his strength back. He then spoke words that converyed what I had been contemplating these past 2 days.

"I come to you each and every day Jesus. I know I sin each day. And every day I tell you I am sorry for them. Every day I come to you for help about my headaches and my eye and my ear. Every day I ask for your help. I will keep coming to you every day, because you are the only one who can heal me. Amen."

Yes, Paul - Amen to that.

Jerry came to pick him up for Mass and he told Jerry they were running late. I told him it takes exactly 7 minutes to get there and I knew this because of so many mornings I have had to rush to get there on time. He didn't really believe me. About 4 minutes later, he called me and said they were at the light at Lake Lucerne, which is only about 1/2 way there and so he was right, it takes longer than 7 minutes. I asked him if he had prayed to St. Michael the Archangel to clear all obstacles in his way? He said, "As a matter of fact, I have not. I guess I will have to do that."
( I keep St. Michael very busy each day, asking for help with the lights to turn green as I approach or that the car in front of me would please make a right turn, etc. I even once asked for his assistance by praying that the priest would be about 3 mintues late starting the Mass so I would be on time. The church is kind of far away and traffic had been bad. When I got there, the priest was just walking to the doors at the entrance of the sanctuary and I said, "Oh praise be to God, my prayer was answered." He asked what my prayer was and when I told him he said, "You don't pray for things like that!" I said, "I did and you are!" I don't limit God or St. Michael ! ) Anyway, back to Paul - he spoke to me after Mass and he said it took them 8 minutes to get there. Jerry told me it was actually 7 minutes since they didn't leave the driveway until 9:04, not 9:03. Paul said that it was 9:03 when the car started, but that as they began to back up it turned to 9:04.
I considered that a win for St. Michael, as they arrived at church at 9:11 !
That gave them 4 minutes until Mass started....................plenty of time to sit and say thanks to St. Michael for a job well done!

Accuracy has become a big deal now that Paul is wearing a watch again........smile. How fun it will be when we get to post the exact time that the pain in Paul's head is gone.

God's blessings to all of you and your families. The intentions you hold in your hearts will be lifted up tonight as we pray the rosary.

Love,
Jon and Rebecca