Even though we have seen that Paul's headaches are on the rise in intensity of pain in the past week, he get's an A for effort!
Jerry, our friend and 'Life Saver' moved into a new house this week. He had Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off to get it done. Because he is truly an angel sent by God to our family, he of course picked up Paul each morning and went to Mass with him. Busy as he was, he kept Paul by his side. Paul in return, tried very hard to be of some help.
On Wednesday, Paul helped assemble the kitchen table and chairs that had been delivered. He stayed at it until his head started to hurt too badly. He went back and forth between the houses with Jerry, getting things in and out of Jerry's car. On Thursday, he was on hand when they delivered the furniture to the house. He was the first one checking out the recliner to make sure it was comfortable............smile. The big event of Thursday was when Paul and his dad carried in the queen size mattress and box springs. Paul asked that I 'spot' him while he carried it, making sure he didn't trip on anything he could not see. He has good strength in his body, which is a huge improvement over this time last year.
On Friday, he developed a much worse headache and was only able to help assemble a popcorn machine (it's an old time kind - a large glass top on a red metal base that has 2 large wheels). He also was the one who figured out how the home theater system worked for the large 50" flat screen TV. For the guys - these were the 2 most important tasks to be completed. Of course, it's going to be 'movie night' at Jerry's each Friday! Paul and Michael are really looking forward to that. Must be why Paul put in the extra effort getting the popcorn machine and theater set up. He started having really bad headaches on Friday morning and has gone downhill since.
His headaches are now staying at levels 7 - 8.5 and with little relief fromTylenol.
Yesterday, I had to stay home with him and I called the doctor to see if they would want to see him sooner than his next appointment. Since Paul is due for some tests on Wednesday in Charlotte, they said he can take Lortab until his appointment. Jon is home with him today.
Paul barely made it to church on Sunday morning and was in a lot of pain during the Mass. He went straight home and to bed. He had made plans with his friend Susan, to attend a free concert at the Rialto Theater where the GA State Orchestra was going to perform. He had really been looking forward to that and again, put out a huge effort to get there. We met Susan for lunch and then went to the concert. About 1/2 of the way through he asked if we had any Tylenol with us. We didn't because he wasn't due for any. He sat through the rest of the concert with his headache getting more painful. Afterward said he really enjoyed it, but he sure wished his head didn't hurt so much. As soon as we got home, he got into bed and that is where he stayed.
Once he got some Lortab yesterday, his headache level came down to a 5.5 and he was able to join us in the evening for dinner. We had a surprise party for Michael in the evening. He was a member of the Academic Decathalon at school and he won the medal for 2nd in state in Economics and 3rd in state for Speech. We were so proud of him and so we had his uncle and aunt over, along with Jerry and his parents for a very impromtu dinner celebration. I didn't want to let the opportunity go by without some fanfare! Michael has had to be in the background for too many moments this past year and 1/2. It was his turn. It's his senior year and we want to enjoy as much time as we can with Michael before he heads off to college in the Fall. Paul actually got up before the dinner and helped me get the table cleared and then set for company. He knew it was a surprise dinner for Michael, so he quietly helped me get ready for it. He saved the one dose of Lortab until right before dinner, so he could join us. My sister brought balloons and an ice cream cake as a surprise. Michael had no idea and it was a wonderful evening. It took my mind off how worried I have been about Paul's headaches. Having to wait until Wednesday has had my nerves on end. I am so concerned because Paul has not been down with headaches like this for a long time. Up until the surgery, he had been active most of the day. At the very least - he was not in bed all day. This past few days, it has reminded me of how we were last year at this time - Paul in bed most of the day. The one difference now is that he keeps struggling to get up and try to do something anyway. Sadly, he then has to lay right back down in pain. He keeps trying to be part of the family, but he can't hang on for very long before his head hurts more than before.
On Sunday night, he walked downstairs in the evening and he looked at me for a moment, then started to get tears in his eye as he asked me, "How much longer will I have these headaches? I hurt so bad and I want them to stop." He has really started to grow weary with all of this and the sad part is, I haven't any idea when it will end. I cannot answer his questions. I took him back upstairs and rubbed his back while we prayed the rosary. He asked that I either read him something prayerful or just pray with him, as the pain was so bad. To be honest - it's all I could think to do too. Jon and Michael joined us. It is the only thing that helps calm my nerves. Thanks be to God for the gift of prayer. It always brings me peace, as I know our prayers are answered even before we have asked. It helps me become centered on Jesus, one more time.
Please pray for Paul's continued strength while he carries his 'cross' during this season of Lent. I remember vividly how much worse he was last year at this time. He had been in the hospital with pneumonia and then the onset of hydrocephalus. While we have a better knowledge of hydrocephalus, we aren't much further ahead in progress it seems, in solving the complications of Paul's case. All I know is, we ARE one day closer to the answer and we have had everyone's prayers and kind deeds paving the way for us!
Please pray for the doctors who are working with Paul, that they may be graced with the knowledge needed to bring healing to Paul.
Thanks to all of you, from all of the Fidero's!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Only You
The teachings of Christ were difficult to accept for many of those around him. Even though Jesus was physically in their midst, touching them, instructing them, a living example of holiness for them to see, there were many who withdrew and went their separate ways. When Jesus asked the twelve apostles, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answered, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we believe that you are the Holy One of God."
Jesus continues to ask each generation the same question - "Do you also wish to go away?"
It has been 15 months since the accident and I can honestly say that I understand how people could turn away from God in their difficult struggles, wondering where God was, and why were they allowed to suffer for so long. While 15 months may seem like a long time to us, it is a very short time in relation to the suffering of so many others. It is also a very short time in the whole scheme of things. Each day when Paul wakes up, I have a moment of expectancy that he will be free of his headaches, hopeful that the big day has arrived! Each morning, I find that he is still in very bad pain and there will be a long day ahead for him. Each morning, I can't help but feel disappointment for him. But, by the grace of God, I find myself immediately talking to Jesus, asking Him to provide the strength for all of us to turn it over to his loving care and to provide us once again, the grace to accept His answer for the day and offer everything up for the glory of God. I haven't a clue how long this recovery process will last, but since I have only today, I will answer the question Jesus possed to Peter with a 're-Pete'......."Lord, to whom shall we go?"
This response was again brought to light today after Mass. I found out that the message delivered by Pope Benedict on Ash Wednesday was a break from the traditional message of charity in this season of Lent. He spoke about the perfect example of God's love for us - Jesus Christ crucified.
"Dear brothers and sisters, let us look at Christ pierced on the Cross! He is the unsurpassing revelation of God's love, a love in which eros and agape, far from being opposed, enlighten each other.
On the cross, it is God himself who begs the love of His creature; He is thirsty for the love of everyone of us.
Jesus said: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself. (Jn 12:32) The response the Lord ardently desires of us is, above all, that we welcome His love and allow ourselves to be drawn to Him. Accepting His love, however, is not enough. We need to respond to such love and devote ourselves to communicating it to others. Christ 'draws me to Himself ' in order to unite Himself to me, so that I can learn to love the brothers with His own love."
This message of Pope Benedict is a call for a greater converstion of our hearts and a greater awareness of God's love for us, so that in turn we will 'regive' that same love with them. We can share that love with those who are in most need.
This morning, Paul said that he is experiencing feelings of sadness about what he has lost. I told him that I was glad to hear him talk about it. Those feelings are valid and they are to be expected. I told him I would worry if he didn't experience them. He seems to be gaining more awareness of what all this means in his life. He has a clear understanding that he was asked by God to take a different direction in his life. But he is now experiencing more and more the weight of that change. He said he was not angry, just feeling very, very sad about what he has lost. After awhile, he came over to me and took my hand and started to pray that Jesus would heal his eye and help him with his music again and help him gain his strength back. He then spoke words that converyed what I had been contemplating these past 2 days.
"I come to you each and every day Jesus. I know I sin each day. And every day I tell you I am sorry for them. Every day I come to you for help about my headaches and my eye and my ear. Every day I ask for your help. I will keep coming to you every day, because you are the only one who can heal me. Amen."
Yes, Paul - Amen to that.
Jerry came to pick him up for Mass and he told Jerry they were running late. I told him it takes exactly 7 minutes to get there and I knew this because of so many mornings I have had to rush to get there on time. He didn't really believe me. About 4 minutes later, he called me and said they were at the light at Lake Lucerne, which is only about 1/2 way there and so he was right, it takes longer than 7 minutes. I asked him if he had prayed to St. Michael the Archangel to clear all obstacles in his way? He said, "As a matter of fact, I have not. I guess I will have to do that."
( I keep St. Michael very busy each day, asking for help with the lights to turn green as I approach or that the car in front of me would please make a right turn, etc. I even once asked for his assistance by praying that the priest would be about 3 mintues late starting the Mass so I would be on time. The church is kind of far away and traffic had been bad. When I got there, the priest was just walking to the doors at the entrance of the sanctuary and I said, "Oh praise be to God, my prayer was answered." He asked what my prayer was and when I told him he said, "You don't pray for things like that!" I said, "I did and you are!" I don't limit God or St. Michael ! ) Anyway, back to Paul - he spoke to me after Mass and he said it took them 8 minutes to get there. Jerry told me it was actually 7 minutes since they didn't leave the driveway until 9:04, not 9:03. Paul said that it was 9:03 when the car started, but that as they began to back up it turned to 9:04.
I considered that a win for St. Michael, as they arrived at church at 9:11 !
That gave them 4 minutes until Mass started....................plenty of time to sit and say thanks to St. Michael for a job well done!
Accuracy has become a big deal now that Paul is wearing a watch again........smile. How fun it will be when we get to post the exact time that the pain in Paul's head is gone.
God's blessings to all of you and your families. The intentions you hold in your hearts will be lifted up tonight as we pray the rosary.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Jesus continues to ask each generation the same question - "Do you also wish to go away?"
It has been 15 months since the accident and I can honestly say that I understand how people could turn away from God in their difficult struggles, wondering where God was, and why were they allowed to suffer for so long. While 15 months may seem like a long time to us, it is a very short time in relation to the suffering of so many others. It is also a very short time in the whole scheme of things. Each day when Paul wakes up, I have a moment of expectancy that he will be free of his headaches, hopeful that the big day has arrived! Each morning, I find that he is still in very bad pain and there will be a long day ahead for him. Each morning, I can't help but feel disappointment for him. But, by the grace of God, I find myself immediately talking to Jesus, asking Him to provide the strength for all of us to turn it over to his loving care and to provide us once again, the grace to accept His answer for the day and offer everything up for the glory of God. I haven't a clue how long this recovery process will last, but since I have only today, I will answer the question Jesus possed to Peter with a 're-Pete'......."Lord, to whom shall we go?"
This response was again brought to light today after Mass. I found out that the message delivered by Pope Benedict on Ash Wednesday was a break from the traditional message of charity in this season of Lent. He spoke about the perfect example of God's love for us - Jesus Christ crucified.
"Dear brothers and sisters, let us look at Christ pierced on the Cross! He is the unsurpassing revelation of God's love, a love in which eros and agape, far from being opposed, enlighten each other.
On the cross, it is God himself who begs the love of His creature; He is thirsty for the love of everyone of us.
Jesus said: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself. (Jn 12:32) The response the Lord ardently desires of us is, above all, that we welcome His love and allow ourselves to be drawn to Him. Accepting His love, however, is not enough. We need to respond to such love and devote ourselves to communicating it to others. Christ 'draws me to Himself ' in order to unite Himself to me, so that I can learn to love the brothers with His own love."
This message of Pope Benedict is a call for a greater converstion of our hearts and a greater awareness of God's love for us, so that in turn we will 'regive' that same love with them. We can share that love with those who are in most need.
This morning, Paul said that he is experiencing feelings of sadness about what he has lost. I told him that I was glad to hear him talk about it. Those feelings are valid and they are to be expected. I told him I would worry if he didn't experience them. He seems to be gaining more awareness of what all this means in his life. He has a clear understanding that he was asked by God to take a different direction in his life. But he is now experiencing more and more the weight of that change. He said he was not angry, just feeling very, very sad about what he has lost. After awhile, he came over to me and took my hand and started to pray that Jesus would heal his eye and help him with his music again and help him gain his strength back. He then spoke words that converyed what I had been contemplating these past 2 days.
"I come to you each and every day Jesus. I know I sin each day. And every day I tell you I am sorry for them. Every day I come to you for help about my headaches and my eye and my ear. Every day I ask for your help. I will keep coming to you every day, because you are the only one who can heal me. Amen."
Yes, Paul - Amen to that.
Jerry came to pick him up for Mass and he told Jerry they were running late. I told him it takes exactly 7 minutes to get there and I knew this because of so many mornings I have had to rush to get there on time. He didn't really believe me. About 4 minutes later, he called me and said they were at the light at Lake Lucerne, which is only about 1/2 way there and so he was right, it takes longer than 7 minutes. I asked him if he had prayed to St. Michael the Archangel to clear all obstacles in his way? He said, "As a matter of fact, I have not. I guess I will have to do that."
( I keep St. Michael very busy each day, asking for help with the lights to turn green as I approach or that the car in front of me would please make a right turn, etc. I even once asked for his assistance by praying that the priest would be about 3 mintues late starting the Mass so I would be on time. The church is kind of far away and traffic had been bad. When I got there, the priest was just walking to the doors at the entrance of the sanctuary and I said, "Oh praise be to God, my prayer was answered." He asked what my prayer was and when I told him he said, "You don't pray for things like that!" I said, "I did and you are!" I don't limit God or St. Michael ! ) Anyway, back to Paul - he spoke to me after Mass and he said it took them 8 minutes to get there. Jerry told me it was actually 7 minutes since they didn't leave the driveway until 9:04, not 9:03. Paul said that it was 9:03 when the car started, but that as they began to back up it turned to 9:04.
I considered that a win for St. Michael, as they arrived at church at 9:11 !
That gave them 4 minutes until Mass started....................plenty of time to sit and say thanks to St. Michael for a job well done!
Accuracy has become a big deal now that Paul is wearing a watch again........smile. How fun it will be when we get to post the exact time that the pain in Paul's head is gone.
God's blessings to all of you and your families. The intentions you hold in your hearts will be lifted up tonight as we pray the rosary.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Friday, February 16, 2007
It's All Related
The big bonus on Wednesday was when they arrived at the doctor's office, they were a bit early and they saw Dr. Matthews before the scheduled appointment time. He told them that he and Dr. McLanahan had been in surgery together that morning and for some reason the two doctors were talking about Paul. When Dr. McLanahan found out that Paul was going to be in town, he told Dr. Matthews to have someone call over to the office and tell them to fit Paul into the schedule at Dr. McLanahan's office. We had an appointment scheduled on Tuesday, which we were told was the only opening in a very tight schedule. So to get this extra appointment in the same day was so wonderful. It meant we would not have to take another day off and drive up again 6 days later! The other huge blessing was that Paul's headaches had steadily increased and he was in a lot of pain. To have to have waited another 6 days would have made for a very long week for all of us. There are so many things to be concerned about when Paul's headaches are so severe and constant - over drainage of the brain fluid, infection, increased brain pressure, blockage of the shunt system. Paul was becoming more and more lethargic with each passing hour, so it was a good thing he was able to see both doctors. They did adjust the shunt again and said it would take up to a week before it would be working consistently at the new adjustment. The issue of brain fluid still leaking from the left nostril one to two times a day is still not conclusive of the leak not being completely repaired. It might be the accumulation of fluid behind the orbital area by Paul's left eye due to the surgery. It is probably working its way out through the sinus cavity. It will be so wonderful if that is the reason. It means no more major surgery! That is our daily prayer for Paul.
Dr. Matthews is working on the nerve stimulation and regeneration and we have about 6 more appointments for that process. I misunderstood when he told us that when the nerve is given this jump start, if the nerve were still intact we would see quick recovery. Actually, it will take longer than my interpretation of 'quick'. I had sent a long list of questions to Dr. Matthews and he told Jon to tell me the answer to all of them is, "It takes time - up to 6 months". He said it is too early to do the surgery to put the gold weight into Paul's eyelid - we need to wait to see if the nerve will start to do its job. It's too early to do the plastic surgery on Paul's lower eyelid or to expect the eye to be in place right away. And so we wait. I'm not kidding............we are getting so much better about this 'wait' stuff!! We are going to get a follow up appointment with the opthamologist here in Atlanta, so he can monitor the health of Paul's eye. The eyelid is still stitched closed and it concerns me about how the cornea is doing. I can barely get any of the eye gel in. Paul's eye is tearing a lot more, but he can go long hours in the day and not tear. I don't want to go wrong after all this time. Too many hours have been spent in the last 16 months keeping his cornea lubricated and healthy!! In the first 11 months, I was changing the tape and gel every 3-4 hours and was so happy to hear all that effort paid off with a healthy cornea, even though Paul's eye was not providing any fluid on its own. It is great it is tearing much more, but it isn't consistent.
Paul had a good weekend. He had a headache the whole time, but it was a low level one. He went with Jerry on some errands to get the things needed to take lunches and hot meals to the approximately 35 people who live under a bridge downtown. He helped make the lunches and then went down there with Michael and Jerry and met with some other people from our church. After that, they all went out to dinner.
Sunday morning, Paul was really wiped out, having gotten home after 10:00 PM on Saturday, so he slept while we went to morning Mass and he went at 6:00 PM with Jerry after Jerry got home from work. When he came in later, he was talking about musicians and got on line to show us a video of his favorite guitarist, John Petrucci. He becomes very animated when he talks about music and then he went to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra's site and showed us the concert he hopes to attend very soon with his friend Susan. Jerry is taking him to a George Winston concert in March, so he went to that site and listened to the video of George Winston playing a classical piece. He then found Christopher Parkening (not sure that is spelled correctly) and listened to him playing the classical guitar. All this interest started after he had opened up a folder on his dad's computer with his name on it and it contained some music Paul had played before. There was a recording of a classical song he had recorded in his dorm room and sent to us one evening to critique. It was so beautiful and we had been so excited he was doing so well in college in the school of music. Hearing it again was so good. Paul remembered the piece and remembered why he had sent it to us - the particular part he wanted us to comment on. It was a variation on the piece and he heard a way to play it differently in his head and recorded it that way. Last night, there was a look in his eye as he sat listening to it again. He looked at me and then sighed a bit. He shook his head and said, "And I gave this all up to try my luck at being in a band and touring. What was I thinking of?" I reminded him that God gave him the gift of music and it will always be a place where Paul will find joy. He loves to listen to music, mostly classical and also Dream Theater (who are all classically trained). I told him that God may have 'laid him down in green pastures' so that Paul's focus would be on God and music may be a way that Paul will bring Him glory later on in his life. Paul smiled and said, "Maybe so."
Later, I was sitting by him and he was in a lot of pain. I silently prayed that he would never lose his focus on God, now that he seems so in 'tune' with Him. Even if he fully recovers, I prayed he would not move away from the spirituality he has gained. The world can pull us away from God if we aren't being watchful, as it is so subtle how we can drift away. I asked Mary to hold Paul closely to her heart and keep Paul in the Light of Christ, no matter where his life leads him. I hope when he regains more use of his brain and has greater independence, he doesn't leave what he has learned behind him. No more than 3 minutes later, Paul opened his eyes and prayed out loud that God would help take the pain away. He begged Him for some relief and then said that he hopes that even if he recovers, he will never lose his love of God. He knows he has changed in that way and he prayed he would not lose it after being made well. I was so shocked to hear him say out loud the very thoughts I had spoken in my mind moments ago to God. I know that God was letting me know He had heard me and He will answer my prayer. I know it to be true.
I told Paul how I had just finished praying for the same thing and he smiled and said, "Wow, you must be related to me somehow."
Everything that has happened to us is related ...............to God. Each day shows us some little sign of that.
God's peace and blessings to all our relations...........all of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Dr. Matthews is working on the nerve stimulation and regeneration and we have about 6 more appointments for that process. I misunderstood when he told us that when the nerve is given this jump start, if the nerve were still intact we would see quick recovery. Actually, it will take longer than my interpretation of 'quick'. I had sent a long list of questions to Dr. Matthews and he told Jon to tell me the answer to all of them is, "It takes time - up to 6 months". He said it is too early to do the surgery to put the gold weight into Paul's eyelid - we need to wait to see if the nerve will start to do its job. It's too early to do the plastic surgery on Paul's lower eyelid or to expect the eye to be in place right away. And so we wait. I'm not kidding............we are getting so much better about this 'wait' stuff!! We are going to get a follow up appointment with the opthamologist here in Atlanta, so he can monitor the health of Paul's eye. The eyelid is still stitched closed and it concerns me about how the cornea is doing. I can barely get any of the eye gel in. Paul's eye is tearing a lot more, but he can go long hours in the day and not tear. I don't want to go wrong after all this time. Too many hours have been spent in the last 16 months keeping his cornea lubricated and healthy!! In the first 11 months, I was changing the tape and gel every 3-4 hours and was so happy to hear all that effort paid off with a healthy cornea, even though Paul's eye was not providing any fluid on its own. It is great it is tearing much more, but it isn't consistent.
Paul had a good weekend. He had a headache the whole time, but it was a low level one. He went with Jerry on some errands to get the things needed to take lunches and hot meals to the approximately 35 people who live under a bridge downtown. He helped make the lunches and then went down there with Michael and Jerry and met with some other people from our church. After that, they all went out to dinner.
Sunday morning, Paul was really wiped out, having gotten home after 10:00 PM on Saturday, so he slept while we went to morning Mass and he went at 6:00 PM with Jerry after Jerry got home from work. When he came in later, he was talking about musicians and got on line to show us a video of his favorite guitarist, John Petrucci. He becomes very animated when he talks about music and then he went to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra's site and showed us the concert he hopes to attend very soon with his friend Susan. Jerry is taking him to a George Winston concert in March, so he went to that site and listened to the video of George Winston playing a classical piece. He then found Christopher Parkening (not sure that is spelled correctly) and listened to him playing the classical guitar. All this interest started after he had opened up a folder on his dad's computer with his name on it and it contained some music Paul had played before. There was a recording of a classical song he had recorded in his dorm room and sent to us one evening to critique. It was so beautiful and we had been so excited he was doing so well in college in the school of music. Hearing it again was so good. Paul remembered the piece and remembered why he had sent it to us - the particular part he wanted us to comment on. It was a variation on the piece and he heard a way to play it differently in his head and recorded it that way. Last night, there was a look in his eye as he sat listening to it again. He looked at me and then sighed a bit. He shook his head and said, "And I gave this all up to try my luck at being in a band and touring. What was I thinking of?" I reminded him that God gave him the gift of music and it will always be a place where Paul will find joy. He loves to listen to music, mostly classical and also Dream Theater (who are all classically trained). I told him that God may have 'laid him down in green pastures' so that Paul's focus would be on God and music may be a way that Paul will bring Him glory later on in his life. Paul smiled and said, "Maybe so."
Later, I was sitting by him and he was in a lot of pain. I silently prayed that he would never lose his focus on God, now that he seems so in 'tune' with Him. Even if he fully recovers, I prayed he would not move away from the spirituality he has gained. The world can pull us away from God if we aren't being watchful, as it is so subtle how we can drift away. I asked Mary to hold Paul closely to her heart and keep Paul in the Light of Christ, no matter where his life leads him. I hope when he regains more use of his brain and has greater independence, he doesn't leave what he has learned behind him. No more than 3 minutes later, Paul opened his eyes and prayed out loud that God would help take the pain away. He begged Him for some relief and then said that he hopes that even if he recovers, he will never lose his love of God. He knows he has changed in that way and he prayed he would not lose it after being made well. I was so shocked to hear him say out loud the very thoughts I had spoken in my mind moments ago to God. I know that God was letting me know He had heard me and He will answer my prayer. I know it to be true.
I told Paul how I had just finished praying for the same thing and he smiled and said, "Wow, you must be related to me somehow."
Everything that has happened to us is related ...............to God. Each day shows us some little sign of that.
God's peace and blessings to all our relations...........all of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Return To Sender.........
Paul, Jon and Jerry head up to Charlotte again today for another round of nerve stimulation and pain management treatments. They will again give a low level electrical charge to the nerve that controls the facial movements as part of the process to jump start the nerve. They said that if Paul felt a warming sensation there was more hope about the outcome. He said he felt the warmth behind his ear and on his cheek. I am not sure how long the time frame is that we will see the results, if the nerve is truly going to function again. I was not able to go to the last appointment to ask all the questions I have, so I am sending Jon with a long list of questions this time. Since I was off work for 2 full weeks for the surgery, it is really difficult for me to miss any more work at this time. I am still trying to 'climb out of the hole' and catch up all the work from those 2 weeks.
Unfortunately, Mike, Jon and I have had really bad colds that now require antibiotics. We have been pretty worn down due to it. We are begging God to keep Paul 'cold free', as this strain has brought us really bad headaches and upper respiratory infections. I am concerned that Paul would have a much tougher time fighting this off, as his one lung took such a beating in the accident. He has had pneumonia twice before, along with a history of lung infections. It is truly the last thing he needs now.
For the first time ever, Paul finally stood in front of a statue of Jesus that he has in his room and begged God to take his head pain away. The level of pain has steadily gone up since he came home, and since Sunday night, they have remained around 7 - 7.5. Tylenol brings them down to around 5-6 pain level. He will do most things when the pain comes down a little, but he finally has admitted, he is growing very weary of having headaches all day, every day. He tood there praying for Jesus to heal him very soon as he is so tired of the pain. (I think if he just knew the day that it would be over, he would hang on. It's the uncertainty that he will ever have relief that is finally wearing him down.) He asks me everyday, "When did the doctors say my headaches will be gone? Every day I have to tell him that no one really knows, but they will continue to find the answers. That is our hope and strength - that these doctors are willing to keep at it until the answer is found. I found great comfort when Dr. McLanahan said, "When the dust all settles, we will have our answer." There are a number of variables that they have to rule out and it will take time. Dr. Matthews said it may be up to 6 months before they will have Paul's eye completely settled into the orbit correctly as there is swelling and bad muscle damage to that eye. I still have a lot of confidence in these doctors as they are known to stay with it until the answers are found. I spoke to Paul about how all of his suffering has a purpose. It will not be in vain. What we are called to is full trust that God hears us and knows Paul's pain and that it is being allowed to continue for things we may never know or fully understand. But it is never in vain as long as Paul continues to offer it up to God. While it may seem futile, I know God will grace Paul so abundantly for his continued acceptance of all this each day. I prayed with Paul for the strength and grace to keep saying yes to God's will, no matter what He asks of us. I told Paul that while we were not suffering the actual pain he was, we, as a family, suffer as we watch him go through this. We will remain by his side every minute and will pray unceasingly for everything Paul needs to keep saying, "Here I am Lord, your servant listens". We are now 15 months away from 11/11 and the blessings are inumerable. We have come to know and love so many people whose lives are beautiful examples of trusting in the Lord. God has brought so many awesome people into our lives! We have been called to a greater holiness in our daily living, a deeper awareness of God's unconditional love, more loving concern for others who are suffering and a full dependence on God's mercy and kindness. As Paul said this morning, he would not change anything about 11/11/05. He just asks that God help him in his pain.
Since the surgery, Paul has done so much more than ever before. His sensitivity to light has decreased, along with his sensitivity to sound. He had his favorite music, Dream Theater, playing fairly loud last Saturday as he cleaned his room. He asked Michael if he wanted to go to the movies later that afternoon. Michael didn't really want to, so Paul told him he would pay for the tickets and also pay for them to go to lunch! Michael told me later that he had a lot of things to do, but since this was the first time that Paul actually asked him to do something with him, he decided to go. They had a great time and it was so terrific seeing those 2 walking out the front door like they used to. Paul remained very active last week. He went along with Jerry, who had a lot of errands to do in preparation for his moving to a new house. He asked us to join him on walks, he visited the neighbors on his own, stayed up late each night talking to friends on the computer. He even found that there was going to be a classical guitarist giving a free concert at Georgia State this Friday night and made plans to attend. He called Jerry and asked him if he wanted to go also and told him that he would even pay for it. He really was enjoying those days right after he got home and we were really enjoying watching him. but Sunday night, the intense headaches came back and have been constant ever since. He has not been able to go to daily Mass nor work. I am very concerned that the leak was not completely fixed as we have the tell-tale sign of fluid coming down his left nostril again. It happens just about every day, at least once. Our next appointment with Dr. McLanahan will be next Tuesday and that is an appointment I won't miss.
Now that we have seen the glimmer of what Paul would do if he didn't have such bad headaches, we are keeping our hopes up that the answers are just a little way down the road. We know that he will be a lot more like the way he was..........and so much more in tune with God! Win, Win.
There is one thing I really hope will change. He was given a pair of brown velour warm up pants in his senior year, as a joke. It was a tradition handed down by his friend Brendan Hanrahan that this brown warm up suit was worn to school during your senior year. Brendan wore it, Paul wore it, James wore it and Michael too. Well, now Paul likes to wear the pants just about every day. He has become attached to these pants because they are so comfortable. I am happy he is so comfortable, but it causes the rest of us pain to see them worn out of our home!!! They are very ugly (sorry Brendan, they are!). I bought 2 other pair of warm up pants in the hopes Paul would move out of this mode, but it has not happened yet. So, today, he will head up to Charlotte in his brown velour pants and there will be no talking him out of it. Believe me, I tried. Really Paul, RETURN TO SENDER!! That' s okay - I won't be along on the ride where I would have to look at them..............smile. Fortunately, he still believes in wearing a suit to Mass on Sunday - yahoo!
St. Francis
"I beseech you not to look about you so much, but to keep your gaze fixed on the relationship between God and you. You will never see anything but goodness in God or neediness in yourself and you will see His goodness supplying your need and your poverty the object of His bounty and compassion."
Happy St. Valentine's Day too all of you. We send our love out to you and our prayers for you, up to heaven!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Unfortunately, Mike, Jon and I have had really bad colds that now require antibiotics. We have been pretty worn down due to it. We are begging God to keep Paul 'cold free', as this strain has brought us really bad headaches and upper respiratory infections. I am concerned that Paul would have a much tougher time fighting this off, as his one lung took such a beating in the accident. He has had pneumonia twice before, along with a history of lung infections. It is truly the last thing he needs now.
For the first time ever, Paul finally stood in front of a statue of Jesus that he has in his room and begged God to take his head pain away. The level of pain has steadily gone up since he came home, and since Sunday night, they have remained around 7 - 7.5. Tylenol brings them down to around 5-6 pain level. He will do most things when the pain comes down a little, but he finally has admitted, he is growing very weary of having headaches all day, every day. He tood there praying for Jesus to heal him very soon as he is so tired of the pain. (I think if he just knew the day that it would be over, he would hang on. It's the uncertainty that he will ever have relief that is finally wearing him down.) He asks me everyday, "When did the doctors say my headaches will be gone? Every day I have to tell him that no one really knows, but they will continue to find the answers. That is our hope and strength - that these doctors are willing to keep at it until the answer is found. I found great comfort when Dr. McLanahan said, "When the dust all settles, we will have our answer." There are a number of variables that they have to rule out and it will take time. Dr. Matthews said it may be up to 6 months before they will have Paul's eye completely settled into the orbit correctly as there is swelling and bad muscle damage to that eye. I still have a lot of confidence in these doctors as they are known to stay with it until the answers are found. I spoke to Paul about how all of his suffering has a purpose. It will not be in vain. What we are called to is full trust that God hears us and knows Paul's pain and that it is being allowed to continue for things we may never know or fully understand. But it is never in vain as long as Paul continues to offer it up to God. While it may seem futile, I know God will grace Paul so abundantly for his continued acceptance of all this each day. I prayed with Paul for the strength and grace to keep saying yes to God's will, no matter what He asks of us. I told Paul that while we were not suffering the actual pain he was, we, as a family, suffer as we watch him go through this. We will remain by his side every minute and will pray unceasingly for everything Paul needs to keep saying, "Here I am Lord, your servant listens". We are now 15 months away from 11/11 and the blessings are inumerable. We have come to know and love so many people whose lives are beautiful examples of trusting in the Lord. God has brought so many awesome people into our lives! We have been called to a greater holiness in our daily living, a deeper awareness of God's unconditional love, more loving concern for others who are suffering and a full dependence on God's mercy and kindness. As Paul said this morning, he would not change anything about 11/11/05. He just asks that God help him in his pain.
Since the surgery, Paul has done so much more than ever before. His sensitivity to light has decreased, along with his sensitivity to sound. He had his favorite music, Dream Theater, playing fairly loud last Saturday as he cleaned his room. He asked Michael if he wanted to go to the movies later that afternoon. Michael didn't really want to, so Paul told him he would pay for the tickets and also pay for them to go to lunch! Michael told me later that he had a lot of things to do, but since this was the first time that Paul actually asked him to do something with him, he decided to go. They had a great time and it was so terrific seeing those 2 walking out the front door like they used to. Paul remained very active last week. He went along with Jerry, who had a lot of errands to do in preparation for his moving to a new house. He asked us to join him on walks, he visited the neighbors on his own, stayed up late each night talking to friends on the computer. He even found that there was going to be a classical guitarist giving a free concert at Georgia State this Friday night and made plans to attend. He called Jerry and asked him if he wanted to go also and told him that he would even pay for it. He really was enjoying those days right after he got home and we were really enjoying watching him. but Sunday night, the intense headaches came back and have been constant ever since. He has not been able to go to daily Mass nor work. I am very concerned that the leak was not completely fixed as we have the tell-tale sign of fluid coming down his left nostril again. It happens just about every day, at least once. Our next appointment with Dr. McLanahan will be next Tuesday and that is an appointment I won't miss.
Now that we have seen the glimmer of what Paul would do if he didn't have such bad headaches, we are keeping our hopes up that the answers are just a little way down the road. We know that he will be a lot more like the way he was..........and so much more in tune with God! Win, Win.
There is one thing I really hope will change. He was given a pair of brown velour warm up pants in his senior year, as a joke. It was a tradition handed down by his friend Brendan Hanrahan that this brown warm up suit was worn to school during your senior year. Brendan wore it, Paul wore it, James wore it and Michael too. Well, now Paul likes to wear the pants just about every day. He has become attached to these pants because they are so comfortable. I am happy he is so comfortable, but it causes the rest of us pain to see them worn out of our home!!! They are very ugly (sorry Brendan, they are!). I bought 2 other pair of warm up pants in the hopes Paul would move out of this mode, but it has not happened yet. So, today, he will head up to Charlotte in his brown velour pants and there will be no talking him out of it. Believe me, I tried. Really Paul, RETURN TO SENDER!! That' s okay - I won't be along on the ride where I would have to look at them..............smile. Fortunately, he still believes in wearing a suit to Mass on Sunday - yahoo!
St. Francis
"I beseech you not to look about you so much, but to keep your gaze fixed on the relationship between God and you. You will never see anything but goodness in God or neediness in yourself and you will see His goodness supplying your need and your poverty the object of His bounty and compassion."
Happy St. Valentine's Day too all of you. We send our love out to you and our prayers for you, up to heaven!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A few more pictures that were missing in action....
These are a few more pictures I missed in the blog below. They are pictures of when we got home from Paul's last surgery in Charlotte.
Michael opened the front door of our house and Abby took off running. She ran directly to Paul's side of the car! They both missed each other very much.
The night we got home from Charlotte. (Hey guys, not everyone can sit next to Paul!)
Monday night, right before Jon and Marie had to leave. Paul stayed busy with the phone calls from out of town family and his friends.
Paul and Jon going to Mass on the Sunday morning after we got back from Charlotte.
Michael opened the front door of our house and Abby took off running. She ran directly to Paul's side of the car! They both missed each other very much.
The night we got home from Charlotte. (Hey guys, not everyone can sit next to Paul!)
Monday night, right before Jon and Marie had to leave. Paul stayed busy with the phone calls from out of town family and his friends.
Paul and Jon going to Mass on the Sunday morning after we got back from Charlotte.
It's Been A Long Time Coming
Pictures that we have tried to get on the blog since right before Christmas.
They didn't post in total chronilogical order. OOPS.....A bit of operator error.
Jon found a frisbee and basketball while we were putting away Christmas decorations and he and Paul got a bit side tracked.
Paul saying goodbye to Abby and Emma (Jerry's dog) the day before we left for Charlotte. We had not idea he would be gone 2 weeks.
Welcome home dinner with family and Jerry's parents, Judy and Frank.
Marie and Paul - it was so great to be home and
Marie, Paul, Jon and Mike
They didn't post in total chronilogical order. OOPS.....A bit of operator error.
Jon found a frisbee and basketball while we were putting away Christmas decorations and he and Paul got a bit side tracked.
Paul and Abby out for a walk.......no assistance needed.
Now that the frisbee is on the roof......maybe we can get back to the
Christmas decorations???
Playing poker on the table top that Paul made for
his college dorm. He rediscovered it while we were putting
away decorations!
James (second from right) and his friends heading back to Ave Maria University
in the second week of January.
It was great to have all these young people visiting!
Paul is reading the card that Jerry left taped to the front door on the day we left to go to Charlotte for the reconstructive surgery. It was a great surprise!
Paul saying goodbye to Abby and Emma (Jerry's dog) the day before we left for Charlotte. We had not idea he would be gone 2 weeks.
Paul bought Abby a stuffed dog from the hospital gift shop.
He really missed his dog while he was gone.
Marie and Paul - it was so great to be home and
have Marie and Jon there too! Aunt Bev and Uncle Joe
had dinner waiting for us when we arrived Saturday
night.
Marie, Paul, Jon and Mike
Jon showing Mike how to do some excercises now that
Mike has joined a gym. A quick lesson before Jon and
Marie had to leave after a terrific weekend. They helped
us get Paul home from Charlotte.
Jon and Marie leaving for Virginia.
They didn't leave until Monday evening - it was so
hard to say goodbye!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
A LIttle Zap Will Do It
Paul and Jon are on their way to Charlotte again today for an appointment at Dr. Matthew's office. They are going to do the test where they will 'zap' the cranial 7th nerve (I believe that is the one). It is their hope that it will jump-start the nerve and there should be a very quick response in the feeling in Paul's face. They have seen good success in this procedure on nerves that were not completely severed. After this last surgery, Dr. Matthews and Dr. Roberts both felt optimistic that the nerve was not severed and the electrical charge might actually work for Paul.
We blessed Paul with the holy water from Lourdes that James brought back at Christmas and prayed together for a positive outcome. With God, all outcomes are positive - we just have to adapt to His answer. Easy words to write, tough to accept sometimes. So we also prayed for acceptance in this day.
I asked Paul last week if he ever got a 'sense' that our friend Chris, who is still in a somewhat non-responsive state, would recover and be able to speak to his family and be able to function more fully. I wondered because Paul will say things like he really knows the answer. His answer was on the mark. He said it is not about whether Chris, or even himself, will have a miraculous and perfect cure. It is only about how we respond to God's answers. It's about everyone around Chris and Paul and how they will respond to this calling from God. Will they listen more attentively, more sincerely, more lovingly to God's call or will they turn away from God in anger and despair. What Chris and Paul are going through personally are between them and God. What we each experience is also between just us and God. That is what these 2 occurences are all about. That is what every difficult occurence is about. And that was Paul's answer to me.
We remain trusting in God as we work through our 'checklist' of the things Paul has to recover from - paralysis of his face, reduction of ventricle size, shunt function/adjustments, cognitive abilities, left hand nerve damage, eyesight and hearing. Through prayerfulness, we will attain a more full recovery of what is most important in our relationships with God. Do I hope for complete recovery...........for the Full Meal Deal...........absolutely! But I long for and hope for attaining heaven even more and if His answer is not what I have in my mind, then I pray for acceptance of the 'discipline' God asks of our family as we walk alongside Paul. I am confident that prayer is always answered.
"He is a deliverer and savior, working signs and wonders in heaven and on earth." (DN 6:28)
May the blessing of almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit descend upon us and remain with us always.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
PS - In case you didn't see - Paul's post is the one before this one!
We blessed Paul with the holy water from Lourdes that James brought back at Christmas and prayed together for a positive outcome. With God, all outcomes are positive - we just have to adapt to His answer. Easy words to write, tough to accept sometimes. So we also prayed for acceptance in this day.
I asked Paul last week if he ever got a 'sense' that our friend Chris, who is still in a somewhat non-responsive state, would recover and be able to speak to his family and be able to function more fully. I wondered because Paul will say things like he really knows the answer. His answer was on the mark. He said it is not about whether Chris, or even himself, will have a miraculous and perfect cure. It is only about how we respond to God's answers. It's about everyone around Chris and Paul and how they will respond to this calling from God. Will they listen more attentively, more sincerely, more lovingly to God's call or will they turn away from God in anger and despair. What Chris and Paul are going through personally are between them and God. What we each experience is also between just us and God. That is what these 2 occurences are all about. That is what every difficult occurence is about. And that was Paul's answer to me.
We remain trusting in God as we work through our 'checklist' of the things Paul has to recover from - paralysis of his face, reduction of ventricle size, shunt function/adjustments, cognitive abilities, left hand nerve damage, eyesight and hearing. Through prayerfulness, we will attain a more full recovery of what is most important in our relationships with God. Do I hope for complete recovery...........for the Full Meal Deal...........absolutely! But I long for and hope for attaining heaven even more and if His answer is not what I have in my mind, then I pray for acceptance of the 'discipline' God asks of our family as we walk alongside Paul. I am confident that prayer is always answered.
"He is a deliverer and savior, working signs and wonders in heaven and on earth." (DN 6:28)
May the blessing of almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit descend upon us and remain with us always.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
PS - In case you didn't see - Paul's post is the one before this one!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
With Him, In Him, Through Him
Hello Everyone,
I want to begin this by thanking everyone for all of the prayers you say for me. They have helped and continue to help me so much every day. I'm sure you all already know that I still have to recover a lot in many ways, but the prayers make it easier to do. Of course, I honestly believe these prayers kept me alive from the beginning and continue to help me every single day. My last surgery went pretty well. I still have headaches every day, all day, but they should be minimized in time. Believe it or not, the worst part of the surgery was having to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks!!! I know you know the feeling. It's similar to when you go to someone's house and it's just wrong and you want to bail out of there, but you can't because it's some event you have to be at and the whole dang evening all you think about is getting out of there. THEN, sadly, because of that way of thinking, the time goes even more slowly, and it feels like 8 hours when you look at your watch, but it's only been been 4 minutes. That was the feeling I had at the hospital.
Of course there were some..........people who were not so enjoyable, and all I could think of was how much I would like them to scoot right on out of the room. But there were also some fantastic people there who I loved to have around helping us. They were very, very nice to me, and very helpful and funny, and laughed at some of my joking :).
Anyway, all that aside, the surgery seems to have gone pretty well. I am getting better and I will continue to get better with all of these prayers being said for me! I of course, will pray for all readers of this blog and keep you all in my prayers. God is indeed quite awesome, and even with my injuries and daily pains, I still believe in his Glory and understand how incredible he is more than I used to.
Lastly, oddly enough, I want to apologize to everyone who I have ever done ANYTHING cruel or mean to, and whose feelings I have ever hurt. I am not sure why, but God has placed a few memories back in my mind. Memories of sins have been in my mind and again, I am SO SORRY to anyone and everyone I have ever hurt. It is very sad when I think about all I have done that hurts other people in any way. The worst part is knowing that it hurts God too.
God bless You All. I do love you all, whether I know you or not, and I will of course, keep you all in my prayers. Again, THANK YOU for all of the prayers you have said for me for so long. I hope to talk to any one of you soon :).
-Paul
I want to begin this by thanking everyone for all of the prayers you say for me. They have helped and continue to help me so much every day. I'm sure you all already know that I still have to recover a lot in many ways, but the prayers make it easier to do. Of course, I honestly believe these prayers kept me alive from the beginning and continue to help me every single day. My last surgery went pretty well. I still have headaches every day, all day, but they should be minimized in time. Believe it or not, the worst part of the surgery was having to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks!!! I know you know the feeling. It's similar to when you go to someone's house and it's just wrong and you want to bail out of there, but you can't because it's some event you have to be at and the whole dang evening all you think about is getting out of there. THEN, sadly, because of that way of thinking, the time goes even more slowly, and it feels like 8 hours when you look at your watch, but it's only been been 4 minutes. That was the feeling I had at the hospital.
Of course there were some..........people who were not so enjoyable, and all I could think of was how much I would like them to scoot right on out of the room. But there were also some fantastic people there who I loved to have around helping us. They were very, very nice to me, and very helpful and funny, and laughed at some of my joking :).
Anyway, all that aside, the surgery seems to have gone pretty well. I am getting better and I will continue to get better with all of these prayers being said for me! I of course, will pray for all readers of this blog and keep you all in my prayers. God is indeed quite awesome, and even with my injuries and daily pains, I still believe in his Glory and understand how incredible he is more than I used to.
Lastly, oddly enough, I want to apologize to everyone who I have ever done ANYTHING cruel or mean to, and whose feelings I have ever hurt. I am not sure why, but God has placed a few memories back in my mind. Memories of sins have been in my mind and again, I am SO SORRY to anyone and everyone I have ever hurt. It is very sad when I think about all I have done that hurts other people in any way. The worst part is knowing that it hurts God too.
God bless You All. I do love you all, whether I know you or not, and I will of course, keep you all in my prayers. Again, THANK YOU for all of the prayers you have said for me for so long. I hope to talk to any one of you soon :).
-Paul
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Get Back
Friday was a long day as we waited for the isotope test and the results. Paul had another roller coaster day with the pain levels. He started the day out with a 7.25 rating. The doctor found it somewhat amusing how Paul would give such accurate ratings to his head pain. He was very consistent in giving these kind of ratings and they ranged from 6.50 to 8.25 - all of which are painful levels. The isotope study was to see if the brain fluid was flowing through the shunt. The test was not run until 3:30 P.M. It made for a long day of waiting. I went to the noon Mass as it was First Friday. I have to admit, it was wonderful getting to attend Mass a number of the days we were in Charlotte. I told Paul that the Mass for that day was being offered up for his intentions at St. Stephen's, as his name had been listed in the bulletin on that day. I was sorry we were not back in time for him to attend this Mass. But we did get to see Dick Kelly again, who is the Eucharistic Minister at St. Patrick's church. So Paul did receive Communion on Friday after all. Mr. Kelly told us more about Deacon Fidero too. He is 78 yrs old and was from Philadelphia, just like Mr. Kelly. Unfortunately, Deacon Fidero was also in the hospital and was very ill. His wife had died a couple of years before.
Mr. Kelly told Paul to stay strong and keep fighting to get well. He said that in WWII, he was injured and suffered a skull fracture and brain injury also. He was in his 20's at that time and he told Paul how he had to learn to walk and do most everything all over again. He told Paul he would be fine before he knew it. He said, "Look at me - I made it all the way to 78 years of age!" He told us a little more about himself, then prayed over Paul and asked God to heal him with a full recovery and then he had to leave. It really lifted Paul's spirits hearing this man's story and the recovery he had.
We did not get the test results that day.
Jon and Marie were going to come to Charlotte since Paul was not being released on Friday. Jerry stayed at the hospital with Paul through the night. I was going to sleep at the hotel so I could open the main door for them. Since they were not going to get in until 3-4 A.M. they would need me to use my card key to open the main doors . As I was leaving the hospital that night, I realized I was going to be able to sleep in my comfortable pajamas for the first time in 10 days!! I was so thrilled that I would get some decent sleep. As luck would have it, there was a bus load of children staying at the hotel and there was a lot of running going on until late that night. It didn't matter for long, as I was so tired, I fell asleep. I woke up at 3 A.M. I called Jon and they were only about 1/2 hour away. So I got up and waited for them. The joy of seeing Jon and Marie was huge. I was really missing my family and this was a terrific lift to my spirit.
We headed over to the hospital around 8:45 and already Paul had sent a text message to Jon - something like, "Art thou hither?" When I called him to let him know we were coming, he answered and was very cheerful and alert. I told Jon it looked like it might be a good day. And it was. Paul was up and dressed and was standing in the lobby. Actually, he was standing behind a large planter and was pretending to be hiding behind the tree. He knew he was very visible, but thought it was very funny to pretend that he could not be seen. Jon burst out laughing when he saw Paul and the sound of his laugh echoed around the lobby, as there is a marble floor and the ceiling is 2 stories up. It was a wonderful sound and people were smiling at the 2 young men hugging each other. Jerry told me Paul had been up a few times during the night and needed pain medicine. But once he got up, he was ready to go! I believe he was very excited about Jon coming to see him. He talked a lot with Jon and Marie and showed them the way to the ninth floor and his room. He was very oriented and had only mild pain.
When they got upstairs, the doctor's assistant was there and said the test results showed very minimal flow through the shunt. It could mean that the shunt was not on the correct setting yet or that there is still a leak, with the brain fluid coming out through the leak under pressure. The brain pressure was still showing a lower level, which also indicated there was still a leak. She asked if there was any fluid coming from Paul's nose and he told her not really. At least, not that morning yet. She said that they could keep Paul there and continue to monitor him to see if there would be a problem with fluid in his left nostril. Or he could go home and let them know if there was a problem with it in the week ahead. It would be up to him and how well he felt. He was feeling the best we had seen in months and he said he wanted to go home. I asked him to be very honest about it all, as it was not in anyone's best interest to leave prematurely. He said his head pain was at a 4.25, and that he felt pretty good. I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical and thought he was saying this so he could get the heck out of that place. Believe me, I felt the same way! But we had to be very careful about this decision. She left and said we could talk about it and let her know. It was now around 11:00 and I realized that Jon (DAD) was on his way up to the hospital, as he was going to take the next week's shift with Paul so I could get back to work. We called him and he was only about a half hour away, so he said he would just come to the hospital.
Paul really wanted to go on a walk with Jon (brother) and he asked if he could get dressed really warmly and go outside for just a bit. Jerry and Jon lent Paul some warm clothing and he went on a walk with Jon. When they came back, Paul's nose was running. I was so disheartened when he told us. But he said that it was probably because it had been so cold outside. Jon said his nose was running also ( a fun topic, eh?) so it really might mean the same thing for Paul. We debated it and Paul said his head was not hurting and he really wanted to go home. I decided we could try to go home, knowing it would take hours to get all the paperwork done. We would start the process and if Paul continued to have the same problem or his headache started to climb, we would stop and keep him there. The nurse came in and she took out the IV needle and found 3 stitches that still needed to be removed. That was done fairly quickly and Paul continued to have a lively conversation with all of us and the nursing staff. All this and no mention of pain. I know for a fact, he is not able to hide the pain. His face and mannerism show it immediately. He gets a glazed look in his eye and he can hardly speak. But none of this was happening. In fact, he didn't even want to get back in his bed to lay down. He was walking around the room and continued his interaction with everyone.
It was getting pretty close to departure time and Scott, the nurse who had taken such a special interest in Paul in the ICU came into the room to see him. He had seen Paul's name still listed in the charts and he was saddened to see he was still in the hospital. He fully expected to see Paul in fairly poor shape and when he walked in he exclaimed, "My God, look at you! This is terrific! Look at you, man! Seeing you like this is what makes my job great!" He hugged me, then he hugged Paul, then Jon. He was so thrilled to see Paul standing there talking and laughing. He encouraged Paul to try his music again, that it was a gift to him and he just needed to jump back in. The nurse on duty that day (Katie) was also the nurse who was on duty the first day Paul was released from ICU into the neuro unit. She and Scott talked about the very poor condition Paul had been in 10 days prior. They were really enjoying seeing him feeling and looking so well. We had a full room at this time and Paul wasn't even sensitive to the noise and he was not wearing his sun glasses. We were able to have the shades open for the first time in 2 weeks. It was as if God had touched Paul and he was well. The doctor's assistant was very surprised to see that Paul had made a complete turn around in demeanor and level of pain. I have to admit, I was still being very guarded in my excitement about it all. I had experienced many hills and valleys in the past 2 weeks and I decided to keep my enthusiasm in check. I quietly kept a watch on Paul's nose! We finally checked out at 1:00 P.M. and all was still well with Paul.
The parade home began. 4 cars left Charlotte with 6 very happy people in them. Paul rode with his dad. I went back to the hotel, with Jon and Marie following me to get their suitcase (which they left, thinking they would be back that night!) We left shortly after that. I called my sister Beverly to let her know we were truly on our way home. She and Joe were so happy and said they would have dinner cooked and waiting for us at our house. By 6 P.M. we were all home and hugging each other. Jerry and his parents were also there to celebrate Paul's homecoming, along with Anne (Marie's sister) and Matt Velker. The noise in the house was filling my heart with a joy I cannot describe. I was so happy to be in my own home, with family and friends gathered.
I had called ahead to have Michael ready with camera in hand to capture the pictures of Paul greeting his beloved dog, Abby. Michael said that Abby tore out of the house and ran straight to Paul's side of the car, ready to greet him. Through all the noise and chaos of the evening, Paul continued to hang out with us and did not need pain medicine at all. He was enjoying all the attention and the love that everyone wanted to share with him. Every once in awhile, he would sit on the floor with his dog and tell her how much he missed her and loved her.
Earlier, as we headed home, I stopped near the border of South Carolina and Georgia. I thought that Marie might want to let Jon drive for awhile and they might need to get gas. We pulled off at the Clemson University exit and I saw a store that sold fireworks. I immediately pulled in and bought fireworks for that night. Michael and I both love fireworks and I knew he would be happy to handle that part of the celebration. So, around 9:30 that night, we all went outside and Michael and Jon put on a quick show of very loud and beautiful fireworks. It was freezing cold, but it didn't bother Paul. He was having the time of his life. We ended the evening with cake for Jon's (Dad) birthday that had been missed the previous Saturday. Joe and Bev had handled that little detail for me too!
Then, Paul and his brothers, Marie, Anne and Matt all crowded onto Paul's king size bed and 2 chairs and watched a movie! This was the first full day Paul has put in ..........well, ...I can't even remember when he did it last.
Sunday morning, Paul was up and ready to get a shower for Mass. No iritability, no coaxing him - we just mentioned that it was 7:00 A.M. and we were planning on going to the 8:30 Mass. He got dressed, and had to wait for everyone else to be ready. That was a first!
He walked in and a number of people came up to give him a hug. He was walking without any help, and was standing tall and strong. It was amazing (and almost unbelievable) to see. Fr. Paddy was astounded at how much better he carried himself. Paul saw Juanita, then looked back at me and he had tears in his eye. He is still very sad that Joe died, but mostly because he knows that Juanita is in so much pain. He leaned over and asked me if it would be okay if he went to sit with her after Communion. I told him that would be very kind of him. Since Juanita was a Eucharistic Minister, she was up at the altar at Communion, so Paul had to wait until Mass was over before he could go to her side. He immediately got up and went across the aisle to her and hugged her. Then all of us took turns hugging her. Paul and Jon walked over to the picture of Our Blessed Mother and Paul lit a number of candles for the intentions of family and friends. Afterward, he walked alone back over to Juanita and talked to her some more. Once we got back out of the sanctuary, Paul said he wanted to go get some donuts that were being served after Mass. We met a number of our friends and stayed for about 45 minutes visiting with everyone.
The day was full of activity again. Paul was on his computer for a long time once he got home. He took about an hour nap and then he and Jon and Jon played music for awhile. I took movies of it and enjoyed listening to them. Paul played a little bit and he sang along with his brother and dad for some of the songs. They started to plan another 'concert on the deck' and the songs they would play. A couple of hours later, Paul and his dad went to get another phone for Paul. He wanted to upgrade the phone he had. We all met at a restaurant in the early evening, followed by ice cream at Bruster's. It was freezing cold, so we jumped out, got our individual cones, jumped back into the car and went home.
Once we were home, Kara Palmquist joined Jon, Marie, Anne, Michael, Paul and Matt at the table for an evening of Texas Hold 'Em and then they piled into Paul's room once more for a movie to end the day.
Will this incredible turn around in Paul's health continue? I don't know - only God does.
I do know this............it's great to GET BACK.
With very thankful hearts we say,
May you be blessed for your prayers in these last 2 weeks.
I know they were heard! As always!
Love, Jon and Rebecca
Mr. Kelly told Paul to stay strong and keep fighting to get well. He said that in WWII, he was injured and suffered a skull fracture and brain injury also. He was in his 20's at that time and he told Paul how he had to learn to walk and do most everything all over again. He told Paul he would be fine before he knew it. He said, "Look at me - I made it all the way to 78 years of age!" He told us a little more about himself, then prayed over Paul and asked God to heal him with a full recovery and then he had to leave. It really lifted Paul's spirits hearing this man's story and the recovery he had.
We did not get the test results that day.
Jon and Marie were going to come to Charlotte since Paul was not being released on Friday. Jerry stayed at the hospital with Paul through the night. I was going to sleep at the hotel so I could open the main door for them. Since they were not going to get in until 3-4 A.M. they would need me to use my card key to open the main doors . As I was leaving the hospital that night, I realized I was going to be able to sleep in my comfortable pajamas for the first time in 10 days!! I was so thrilled that I would get some decent sleep. As luck would have it, there was a bus load of children staying at the hotel and there was a lot of running going on until late that night. It didn't matter for long, as I was so tired, I fell asleep. I woke up at 3 A.M. I called Jon and they were only about 1/2 hour away. So I got up and waited for them. The joy of seeing Jon and Marie was huge. I was really missing my family and this was a terrific lift to my spirit.
We headed over to the hospital around 8:45 and already Paul had sent a text message to Jon - something like, "Art thou hither?" When I called him to let him know we were coming, he answered and was very cheerful and alert. I told Jon it looked like it might be a good day. And it was. Paul was up and dressed and was standing in the lobby. Actually, he was standing behind a large planter and was pretending to be hiding behind the tree. He knew he was very visible, but thought it was very funny to pretend that he could not be seen. Jon burst out laughing when he saw Paul and the sound of his laugh echoed around the lobby, as there is a marble floor and the ceiling is 2 stories up. It was a wonderful sound and people were smiling at the 2 young men hugging each other. Jerry told me Paul had been up a few times during the night and needed pain medicine. But once he got up, he was ready to go! I believe he was very excited about Jon coming to see him. He talked a lot with Jon and Marie and showed them the way to the ninth floor and his room. He was very oriented and had only mild pain.
When they got upstairs, the doctor's assistant was there and said the test results showed very minimal flow through the shunt. It could mean that the shunt was not on the correct setting yet or that there is still a leak, with the brain fluid coming out through the leak under pressure. The brain pressure was still showing a lower level, which also indicated there was still a leak. She asked if there was any fluid coming from Paul's nose and he told her not really. At least, not that morning yet. She said that they could keep Paul there and continue to monitor him to see if there would be a problem with fluid in his left nostril. Or he could go home and let them know if there was a problem with it in the week ahead. It would be up to him and how well he felt. He was feeling the best we had seen in months and he said he wanted to go home. I asked him to be very honest about it all, as it was not in anyone's best interest to leave prematurely. He said his head pain was at a 4.25, and that he felt pretty good. I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical and thought he was saying this so he could get the heck out of that place. Believe me, I felt the same way! But we had to be very careful about this decision. She left and said we could talk about it and let her know. It was now around 11:00 and I realized that Jon (DAD) was on his way up to the hospital, as he was going to take the next week's shift with Paul so I could get back to work. We called him and he was only about a half hour away, so he said he would just come to the hospital.
Paul really wanted to go on a walk with Jon (brother) and he asked if he could get dressed really warmly and go outside for just a bit. Jerry and Jon lent Paul some warm clothing and he went on a walk with Jon. When they came back, Paul's nose was running. I was so disheartened when he told us. But he said that it was probably because it had been so cold outside. Jon said his nose was running also ( a fun topic, eh?) so it really might mean the same thing for Paul. We debated it and Paul said his head was not hurting and he really wanted to go home. I decided we could try to go home, knowing it would take hours to get all the paperwork done. We would start the process and if Paul continued to have the same problem or his headache started to climb, we would stop and keep him there. The nurse came in and she took out the IV needle and found 3 stitches that still needed to be removed. That was done fairly quickly and Paul continued to have a lively conversation with all of us and the nursing staff. All this and no mention of pain. I know for a fact, he is not able to hide the pain. His face and mannerism show it immediately. He gets a glazed look in his eye and he can hardly speak. But none of this was happening. In fact, he didn't even want to get back in his bed to lay down. He was walking around the room and continued his interaction with everyone.
It was getting pretty close to departure time and Scott, the nurse who had taken such a special interest in Paul in the ICU came into the room to see him. He had seen Paul's name still listed in the charts and he was saddened to see he was still in the hospital. He fully expected to see Paul in fairly poor shape and when he walked in he exclaimed, "My God, look at you! This is terrific! Look at you, man! Seeing you like this is what makes my job great!" He hugged me, then he hugged Paul, then Jon. He was so thrilled to see Paul standing there talking and laughing. He encouraged Paul to try his music again, that it was a gift to him and he just needed to jump back in. The nurse on duty that day (Katie) was also the nurse who was on duty the first day Paul was released from ICU into the neuro unit. She and Scott talked about the very poor condition Paul had been in 10 days prior. They were really enjoying seeing him feeling and looking so well. We had a full room at this time and Paul wasn't even sensitive to the noise and he was not wearing his sun glasses. We were able to have the shades open for the first time in 2 weeks. It was as if God had touched Paul and he was well. The doctor's assistant was very surprised to see that Paul had made a complete turn around in demeanor and level of pain. I have to admit, I was still being very guarded in my excitement about it all. I had experienced many hills and valleys in the past 2 weeks and I decided to keep my enthusiasm in check. I quietly kept a watch on Paul's nose! We finally checked out at 1:00 P.M. and all was still well with Paul.
The parade home began. 4 cars left Charlotte with 6 very happy people in them. Paul rode with his dad. I went back to the hotel, with Jon and Marie following me to get their suitcase (which they left, thinking they would be back that night!) We left shortly after that. I called my sister Beverly to let her know we were truly on our way home. She and Joe were so happy and said they would have dinner cooked and waiting for us at our house. By 6 P.M. we were all home and hugging each other. Jerry and his parents were also there to celebrate Paul's homecoming, along with Anne (Marie's sister) and Matt Velker. The noise in the house was filling my heart with a joy I cannot describe. I was so happy to be in my own home, with family and friends gathered.
I had called ahead to have Michael ready with camera in hand to capture the pictures of Paul greeting his beloved dog, Abby. Michael said that Abby tore out of the house and ran straight to Paul's side of the car, ready to greet him. Through all the noise and chaos of the evening, Paul continued to hang out with us and did not need pain medicine at all. He was enjoying all the attention and the love that everyone wanted to share with him. Every once in awhile, he would sit on the floor with his dog and tell her how much he missed her and loved her.
Earlier, as we headed home, I stopped near the border of South Carolina and Georgia. I thought that Marie might want to let Jon drive for awhile and they might need to get gas. We pulled off at the Clemson University exit and I saw a store that sold fireworks. I immediately pulled in and bought fireworks for that night. Michael and I both love fireworks and I knew he would be happy to handle that part of the celebration. So, around 9:30 that night, we all went outside and Michael and Jon put on a quick show of very loud and beautiful fireworks. It was freezing cold, but it didn't bother Paul. He was having the time of his life. We ended the evening with cake for Jon's (Dad) birthday that had been missed the previous Saturday. Joe and Bev had handled that little detail for me too!
Then, Paul and his brothers, Marie, Anne and Matt all crowded onto Paul's king size bed and 2 chairs and watched a movie! This was the first full day Paul has put in ..........well, ...I can't even remember when he did it last.
Sunday morning, Paul was up and ready to get a shower for Mass. No iritability, no coaxing him - we just mentioned that it was 7:00 A.M. and we were planning on going to the 8:30 Mass. He got dressed, and had to wait for everyone else to be ready. That was a first!
He walked in and a number of people came up to give him a hug. He was walking without any help, and was standing tall and strong. It was amazing (and almost unbelievable) to see. Fr. Paddy was astounded at how much better he carried himself. Paul saw Juanita, then looked back at me and he had tears in his eye. He is still very sad that Joe died, but mostly because he knows that Juanita is in so much pain. He leaned over and asked me if it would be okay if he went to sit with her after Communion. I told him that would be very kind of him. Since Juanita was a Eucharistic Minister, she was up at the altar at Communion, so Paul had to wait until Mass was over before he could go to her side. He immediately got up and went across the aisle to her and hugged her. Then all of us took turns hugging her. Paul and Jon walked over to the picture of Our Blessed Mother and Paul lit a number of candles for the intentions of family and friends. Afterward, he walked alone back over to Juanita and talked to her some more. Once we got back out of the sanctuary, Paul said he wanted to go get some donuts that were being served after Mass. We met a number of our friends and stayed for about 45 minutes visiting with everyone.
The day was full of activity again. Paul was on his computer for a long time once he got home. He took about an hour nap and then he and Jon and Jon played music for awhile. I took movies of it and enjoyed listening to them. Paul played a little bit and he sang along with his brother and dad for some of the songs. They started to plan another 'concert on the deck' and the songs they would play. A couple of hours later, Paul and his dad went to get another phone for Paul. He wanted to upgrade the phone he had. We all met at a restaurant in the early evening, followed by ice cream at Bruster's. It was freezing cold, so we jumped out, got our individual cones, jumped back into the car and went home.
Once we were home, Kara Palmquist joined Jon, Marie, Anne, Michael, Paul and Matt at the table for an evening of Texas Hold 'Em and then they piled into Paul's room once more for a movie to end the day.
Will this incredible turn around in Paul's health continue? I don't know - only God does.
I do know this............it's great to GET BACK.
With very thankful hearts we say,
May you be blessed for your prayers in these last 2 weeks.
I know they were heard! As always!
Love, Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Teach Your Children Well
Prayers are so powerful and we are so grateful for all of yours.
At this time we do not anticipate any more surgery. It has been such a roller coaster ride. Everytime I would go to post the most recent news or have Jon do it for me, we would have another issue come up. We were told on Tuesday we were probably going home on Wednesday. Paul was putting out a huge effort of showing the doctors he was ready. Then we noticed that fluid was coming out the left side of his nostril and his headaches became intense. His eye was not looking very good and looked a bit infected. So they put in a call to the doctors who did the surgeries. It was very late at night, so we didn't see anyone until aroun 6:30 AM. Both doctors came and checked on Paul. They ordered a CT scan to see if the area of repair had stayed intact and also ran a glucose test on the fluid in the nose. There was no sugar in the fluid, which is what they had hoped for. Sugar in the fluid would mean it was CSF. The CT scan shows there is a fluid build up right behind the orbital bone and there is also a small pocket of air. Both of these are going to be watched and so we were told that we would not be going home. Paul was so disappointed. He had been in such high spirits to get back home and said it a bunch of times on Tuesday he just wanted to get back home to his dog, Abby.
Wednesday was a very long day of waiting and Paul was in some very intense pain. He wanted to get up a number of times, but was not able to walk down the hallway before he would experience intense pain in his head and his nose would start to have the fluid come down. Late in the day the doctor came back and said that they think that the fluid is coming from the accumulation that was seen on the CT scan and is making its way out through the sinuses. Paul is in worse shape than when he came in and so they are going to continue to monitor the functioning of the shunt and hopefully the downward trend of the size of the fluid accumulation and the air pocket. There was good news though and that is that the ventricle size is coming down.
Paul was visibly disappointed he was not going home. I was too. I tried to keep my spirits up for Paul and I opened my prayer book to find something consoling to read. I opened it to the page where the second half of the reading from Tuesday was written. It was about the woman who had hemorrhages for 12 years and she had seen many doctors and it only got worse. She lost all her money in the process. Then she was near Jesus and she touched his cloak with the faith that all she had to do was touch his clothing and she would be healed. He asked who touched him, and his disciples said it was impossible to know, as they were in the midst of a large crowd. The woman was instantly healed and she came to Jesus to tell him the truth about what just happened. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you." I read this to Paul and said we were called by God to have great faith in His healing power and in His mercy. We were being called to wait and to show that we trusted Him, no matter the time frame. Paul said that he would continue to do this as long as God wanted and he would offer up his pain for Juanita and Joe, since he knew how much Juanita had to be hurting. He also said he would offer it up for the mother of the young boy who died weeks ago from a brain injury after falling from a tree. I told him that is exactly what I would do too. I would offer up all the pain and sadness I felt as I watched Paul suffer.
Later, I was looking out the window into the dark night and prayed to God to show me how to have the faith of the woman in Mark's gospel 5:21-43. I wondered out loud how I could ‘touch the cloak of Jesus’ too? It immediately came to me that I should go to Mass the very next day, no matter what was happening at the hospital, and receive Communion and get someone to bring it to Paul. I went to the noon Mass and I got there a few minutes early and asked Fr. Robert if he could have someone bring Paul Communion, as he might have to have surgery again for the 3rd time in a little over a week. He said he was busy, but would make time to get it there. Once again, God spoke to me in the readings. From the Letter to the Hebrews (12:11-15)- “My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when reproved by him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.
Endure your trials as “discipline”; God teats you as his sons. For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline? At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it. So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. Make straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble, through which many may become defiled.” To that I had to answer, yes Lord. Teach me your ways.
Fr. Robert again almost beat me back to the hospital after Mass! Paul and Jerry were able to receive Communion and Fr. Robert said he would offer the next day's Mass for Paul. He also administered the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. Paul was very glad he was able to have this done. Then, we went back to waiting, but with lifted spirits.
Later in the day, an elderly man came to the door and he said he was there to scrub the bathroom floor. Paul had just started to eat something and I was hesitant to let the man do the cleaning at the same time. I said it was okay, as he had a schedule too and so he started his work. He noticed the light was bothering Paul, so he closed the door to the bathroom and finished his work. A little later, he came out and said, "I have a problem with bright lights too. I have to have all the lights off when I watch TV at night and during the day." He looked at Paul and then at me and he said, "He will be better before you know it. He will be better soon. God will take care of Him." I looked at him and said, "Yes, God has blessed my son and I know He will help him." He smiled very sweetly and said, "God has blessed him." I got up to open the door to the hallway for him and as he was going out, I touched his shoulder and said, "Thank you so much and may God bless you too." He said, "God is good. Thank you and have a nice day." He again smiled so sweetly at me. Then he walked away. I had such a feeling of peace. I sat back down and was just sitting there smiling and thinking about those comforting words. Then I started to get tears in my eyes as I thought about how God might just have sent him to be of comfort to us. Jerry walked in at that moment and I told him about what happened. When I told him about how I just felt compelled to touch that man's shoulder and thank him, Jerry said, "Kind of like touching the cloak of Jesus." I said, "Oh my gosh Jerry! I had not thought about that, but you are so right. That's kind of what it felt like!" I was filled with so much joy at the thought that God might have provided me with a beautiful answer to my prayer. I have had nothing but a very peaceful heart since then.
The doctor came in late in the evening and said we were not going to be going home Thursday as he was going to adjust the shunt setting. He is very glad the ventricle size is trending downward, that is a good thing. They want to continue to monitor the pocket of fluid, and the air pocket to make sure they are going down also. He is hoping to let us go home before week's end. I hope his week ending is the same as my thinking..........no later than Saturday!!!
Jerry, Paul and I ended last night with lots of laughter. I don't know if it was just battle fatigue and the close quarters we are in, but we were finding just about everything funny. Paul had a few moments of real relief and he wanted to go downstairs for a walk. We left the 9th floor and went to the lobby. He had a white blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his sun glasses on. He started to head to the front doors and I asked what he was doing. He said he wanted to see how cold it was, since everyone had been talking about the snowstorm that was coming. He got to the second set of sliding doors and a cold blast of air hit him in the face as it opened. He turned around quickly and said, "Okay, so it's THAT cold!" He laughed as he headed back in. We talked about how much fun Abby would have if it snowed in Atlanta too. He said he missed his dog so badly and could hardly wait to get home. We said we would have Mike take pictures of her playing in it if it did snow. (Unfortunately, it only rained in Atlanta. But Charlotte got snow!)
This morning, Dr. McLanahan came in and said that he was going to adjust the shunt and would monitor it to see if Paul’s headaches lessoned when he actually was up and walking around. He has positional headaches, which means that the brain fluid decreases upon standing and it causes low pressure headaches. They are very painful. The shunt has an anti-siphoning device on it to help control that and that is the part they are trying to fine tune.
It was funny this morning because when the doctor came in at 6:30, it was just starting to get lighter outside. He mentioned right away that we had snow, but not a lot. As he was explaining all the things he was going to have Paul do today, it became apparent Paul was not listening. He started to get up out of bed, so the doctor moved to the side and he stopped talking as he watched what Paul was going to do. Paul stood up and walked to the window and opened the shades and looked out at the snow. He smiled and got back into bed, with seemingly no interest in the conversation. I guess he figured I was there for the purpose to listen and understand what the doctor had to say! The plan was that Paul’s bandages were coming off and he was going to get his first shower in 12 days. The shunt would be adjusted and then an xray taken.
All of the above has taken place. We will see if Paul is able to move around more with less pain when he is standing and walking. One other thing Paul did today was not on the doctor’s list. He walked downstairs and again went outside to see the snow. I got a picture of him, standing with Jerry. I will post it when we get home. (Along with so many other pictures that I have not been able to post.)
I got a real treat this morning after Jerry came over to the hospital from the hotel. I had to get laundry done as Paul and I had run out of clothing. I also wanted to freshen up the prayer blanket that was given to Paul in the days after his accident. It remains one of his favorites and we have used it for every hospital stay. I left the hospital and it was snowing again. It was so beautiful as it came down slowly and very lightly. The flakes were huge! It was so much fun to drive in the snow and get some time to be outside. I had a wonderful and relaxing break – even though I was doing laundry! I sat and watched the snow falling in between the loads and enjoyed the quiet. A real ‘pocket of peace.’ Yahoo!
May we all continue to be instructed in the ways of the Lord.
God bless you all,
Jon and Rebecca
At this time we do not anticipate any more surgery. It has been such a roller coaster ride. Everytime I would go to post the most recent news or have Jon do it for me, we would have another issue come up. We were told on Tuesday we were probably going home on Wednesday. Paul was putting out a huge effort of showing the doctors he was ready. Then we noticed that fluid was coming out the left side of his nostril and his headaches became intense. His eye was not looking very good and looked a bit infected. So they put in a call to the doctors who did the surgeries. It was very late at night, so we didn't see anyone until aroun 6:30 AM. Both doctors came and checked on Paul. They ordered a CT scan to see if the area of repair had stayed intact and also ran a glucose test on the fluid in the nose. There was no sugar in the fluid, which is what they had hoped for. Sugar in the fluid would mean it was CSF. The CT scan shows there is a fluid build up right behind the orbital bone and there is also a small pocket of air. Both of these are going to be watched and so we were told that we would not be going home. Paul was so disappointed. He had been in such high spirits to get back home and said it a bunch of times on Tuesday he just wanted to get back home to his dog, Abby.
Wednesday was a very long day of waiting and Paul was in some very intense pain. He wanted to get up a number of times, but was not able to walk down the hallway before he would experience intense pain in his head and his nose would start to have the fluid come down. Late in the day the doctor came back and said that they think that the fluid is coming from the accumulation that was seen on the CT scan and is making its way out through the sinuses. Paul is in worse shape than when he came in and so they are going to continue to monitor the functioning of the shunt and hopefully the downward trend of the size of the fluid accumulation and the air pocket. There was good news though and that is that the ventricle size is coming down.
Paul was visibly disappointed he was not going home. I was too. I tried to keep my spirits up for Paul and I opened my prayer book to find something consoling to read. I opened it to the page where the second half of the reading from Tuesday was written. It was about the woman who had hemorrhages for 12 years and she had seen many doctors and it only got worse. She lost all her money in the process. Then she was near Jesus and she touched his cloak with the faith that all she had to do was touch his clothing and she would be healed. He asked who touched him, and his disciples said it was impossible to know, as they were in the midst of a large crowd. The woman was instantly healed and she came to Jesus to tell him the truth about what just happened. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you." I read this to Paul and said we were called by God to have great faith in His healing power and in His mercy. We were being called to wait and to show that we trusted Him, no matter the time frame. Paul said that he would continue to do this as long as God wanted and he would offer up his pain for Juanita and Joe, since he knew how much Juanita had to be hurting. He also said he would offer it up for the mother of the young boy who died weeks ago from a brain injury after falling from a tree. I told him that is exactly what I would do too. I would offer up all the pain and sadness I felt as I watched Paul suffer.
Later, I was looking out the window into the dark night and prayed to God to show me how to have the faith of the woman in Mark's gospel 5:21-43. I wondered out loud how I could ‘touch the cloak of Jesus’ too? It immediately came to me that I should go to Mass the very next day, no matter what was happening at the hospital, and receive Communion and get someone to bring it to Paul. I went to the noon Mass and I got there a few minutes early and asked Fr. Robert if he could have someone bring Paul Communion, as he might have to have surgery again for the 3rd time in a little over a week. He said he was busy, but would make time to get it there. Once again, God spoke to me in the readings. From the Letter to the Hebrews (12:11-15)- “My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when reproved by him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.
Endure your trials as “discipline”; God teats you as his sons. For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline? At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it. So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. Make straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble, through which many may become defiled.” To that I had to answer, yes Lord. Teach me your ways.
Fr. Robert again almost beat me back to the hospital after Mass! Paul and Jerry were able to receive Communion and Fr. Robert said he would offer the next day's Mass for Paul. He also administered the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. Paul was very glad he was able to have this done. Then, we went back to waiting, but with lifted spirits.
Later in the day, an elderly man came to the door and he said he was there to scrub the bathroom floor. Paul had just started to eat something and I was hesitant to let the man do the cleaning at the same time. I said it was okay, as he had a schedule too and so he started his work. He noticed the light was bothering Paul, so he closed the door to the bathroom and finished his work. A little later, he came out and said, "I have a problem with bright lights too. I have to have all the lights off when I watch TV at night and during the day." He looked at Paul and then at me and he said, "He will be better before you know it. He will be better soon. God will take care of Him." I looked at him and said, "Yes, God has blessed my son and I know He will help him." He smiled very sweetly and said, "God has blessed him." I got up to open the door to the hallway for him and as he was going out, I touched his shoulder and said, "Thank you so much and may God bless you too." He said, "God is good. Thank you and have a nice day." He again smiled so sweetly at me. Then he walked away. I had such a feeling of peace. I sat back down and was just sitting there smiling and thinking about those comforting words. Then I started to get tears in my eyes as I thought about how God might just have sent him to be of comfort to us. Jerry walked in at that moment and I told him about what happened. When I told him about how I just felt compelled to touch that man's shoulder and thank him, Jerry said, "Kind of like touching the cloak of Jesus." I said, "Oh my gosh Jerry! I had not thought about that, but you are so right. That's kind of what it felt like!" I was filled with so much joy at the thought that God might have provided me with a beautiful answer to my prayer. I have had nothing but a very peaceful heart since then.
The doctor came in late in the evening and said we were not going to be going home Thursday as he was going to adjust the shunt setting. He is very glad the ventricle size is trending downward, that is a good thing. They want to continue to monitor the pocket of fluid, and the air pocket to make sure they are going down also. He is hoping to let us go home before week's end. I hope his week ending is the same as my thinking..........no later than Saturday!!!
Jerry, Paul and I ended last night with lots of laughter. I don't know if it was just battle fatigue and the close quarters we are in, but we were finding just about everything funny. Paul had a few moments of real relief and he wanted to go downstairs for a walk. We left the 9th floor and went to the lobby. He had a white blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his sun glasses on. He started to head to the front doors and I asked what he was doing. He said he wanted to see how cold it was, since everyone had been talking about the snowstorm that was coming. He got to the second set of sliding doors and a cold blast of air hit him in the face as it opened. He turned around quickly and said, "Okay, so it's THAT cold!" He laughed as he headed back in. We talked about how much fun Abby would have if it snowed in Atlanta too. He said he missed his dog so badly and could hardly wait to get home. We said we would have Mike take pictures of her playing in it if it did snow. (Unfortunately, it only rained in Atlanta. But Charlotte got snow!)
This morning, Dr. McLanahan came in and said that he was going to adjust the shunt and would monitor it to see if Paul’s headaches lessoned when he actually was up and walking around. He has positional headaches, which means that the brain fluid decreases upon standing and it causes low pressure headaches. They are very painful. The shunt has an anti-siphoning device on it to help control that and that is the part they are trying to fine tune.
It was funny this morning because when the doctor came in at 6:30, it was just starting to get lighter outside. He mentioned right away that we had snow, but not a lot. As he was explaining all the things he was going to have Paul do today, it became apparent Paul was not listening. He started to get up out of bed, so the doctor moved to the side and he stopped talking as he watched what Paul was going to do. Paul stood up and walked to the window and opened the shades and looked out at the snow. He smiled and got back into bed, with seemingly no interest in the conversation. I guess he figured I was there for the purpose to listen and understand what the doctor had to say! The plan was that Paul’s bandages were coming off and he was going to get his first shower in 12 days. The shunt would be adjusted and then an xray taken.
All of the above has taken place. We will see if Paul is able to move around more with less pain when he is standing and walking. One other thing Paul did today was not on the doctor’s list. He walked downstairs and again went outside to see the snow. I got a picture of him, standing with Jerry. I will post it when we get home. (Along with so many other pictures that I have not been able to post.)
I got a real treat this morning after Jerry came over to the hospital from the hotel. I had to get laundry done as Paul and I had run out of clothing. I also wanted to freshen up the prayer blanket that was given to Paul in the days after his accident. It remains one of his favorites and we have used it for every hospital stay. I left the hospital and it was snowing again. It was so beautiful as it came down slowly and very lightly. The flakes were huge! It was so much fun to drive in the snow and get some time to be outside. I had a wonderful and relaxing break – even though I was doing laundry! I sat and watched the snow falling in between the loads and enjoyed the quiet. A real ‘pocket of peace.’ Yahoo!
May we all continue to be instructed in the ways of the Lord.
God bless you all,
Jon and Rebecca
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
