How do I love thee?

Michael and Paul after taking a ride in Mike's new car that replaced his truck.






All of us at Sunday Mass










Paul, Michael and Jon filling the room with music!









(Wednesday Night)
I guess even Paul is getting tired of telling his dad 'one minute please' when being woken in the morning. Yesterday, he woke up asking "why am I getting up?" and when told that it was morning and it was time for a shower, Paul said "120 seconds please". Jon and I laughed so hard, and we felt Paul earned his 120 seconds due to his creativity. Later, I thought about it again and was laughing softly. Since Paul was looking at me I said "I love you so much. Do you know just how much I love you?" Paul shrugged his shoulders. I said to him " On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you THINK I love you?" He sat for about 15 seconds and then said "ten point five". (Yes Paul, that is how I love thee.) One more time I was laughing hard. Paul got a lot of hugs and smiles throughout the day as I remembered these things.

Yesterday we went to Mass at 9:00 AM and Fr. Paddy said that since it has been raining so much, I could bring Paul inside and we could walk around the perimeter of the sanctuary to help Paul keep up his walking. Then my friend,Patty Palmquist mentioned that we could contemplate the 14 Stations of the Cross as we walked around. Fr.Paddy said that it would not have as good a benefit physically for Paul to stop at each station. So he suggested we walk around 14 times. That will about do it - I can contemplate the stations of the cross as I help Paul walk the distance, which will be good for Paul and me, spiritually and physically. Obviously, we will do this only if no one is there praying so we don't disturb anyone. Also, Fr. Paddy gave Paul a medal of St. Benedict that Fr. Paddy got while he was in Brazil. It is very beautiful and we have attached it to Paul's scapular that he wears.

Paul had a bad headache for most of yesterday and we didn't get as much accomplished as I had hoped. We did some reading comprehension and math problems, plus I did some vision therapy to help the muscle in Paul's left eye. We worked more on his swallowing and we have continued to have success with using a spoon first, to get Paul used to swallowing his liquids. Then, when he wants to use a straw, I just pinch the straw after he has taken a small amount. He can swallow this way easily and has been very patient with this method. Today, he almost finished his cup of milk, taking very small sips. At lunch, he did fairly well with a milkshake.

We met with the nutritionist at Shepherd Center downtown today. She went over what Paul will need in the way of calories to help him gain weight each week. We are to weigh him weekly on the same day, and as long as he is gaining at least a pound or two, that is great. Since he has been home from the hospital 2 weeks ago, Paul has gained 7 pounds, which means a gain of 3 and 1/2 pounds each week. So we are doing great with the amount of food he is receiving. He has started to eat 2 meals a day, and every time he gets anything through his feeding tube, I make sure it is a high calorie feeding or drink. He gets either a fruit smoothie, vegetable juice with baby food added for additional calories and fiber, or milk with the protein powder and a drink called Mighty Shake. These are given in between his meals, which he either eats, or gets the prescribed formula if he doesn't eat a full meal. We are averaging about 2200 calories a day. He weighs 124 pounds now, down from 165, which was before the accident. His ideal weight is actually 172, but Paul has a smaller frame and he fought to get to 165 - mostly attributable to his daily consumption of Wendy's or Subway. He had a double bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's today, so he didn't need much in the way of a supplement at lunch!

We have started to receive calls from the home health care therapists. We received messages on our recorder and have called back and left voice mail. Hopefully, we will have that started some time next week.

I started to have Paul read out loud and then have asked him questions about what he read. He gets about 50% of my questions without my help, and then needs cueing to answer the rest. I still have him say the Hail Mary and Our Father out loud with me while we are driving. I always remind him that it has to be music to God's ears hearing his voice praying. I also ask Paul to tell me what he means when he uses his 'sign' language or points to something. He is getting better about telling me what he wants and in fact, as I was taking his plate away after breakfast, he called out "Wait! I didn't finish my toast". I told him that was great and it was important that he start letting us know his feelings. It is amazing how patient he has been through all of this. I am always asking him questions and turning just about everything into a lesson. He cooperates and follows our instructions well. The only time he actually shows signs that he is not happy is when we have to hold his hands down and his head still to put his eye ointments in. He really struggles to get his hands free. But we can't let him rub his eyes, because he will rub the eye until it gets red and iritated. After we are done getting the ointment and bandaging back on, he will say, "Thanks Mom" and will then let his eye alone for awhile. I have tried to help him understand to not touch his eye at all, but his memory is bad and he does not remember this. I don't leave him alone, as that is when he will rub his eye endlessly. This is the only time we see real resistance from Paul. We can handle it, thanks be to God. It remains to be seen how placid he will be as he gets better and starts to really understand what has happened. Or when he has to really put forth some intense efforts or do things he really doesn't want to do. We'll cross that path when we get there.

Tonight, Jon and I were talking and Jon laughed really hard, which got me laughing too. Paul was looking at both of us and for the first time, he actually laughed. Not just a smile, but a small laugh and then a geniune big smile. It was the highlight of the week for me to see him do that.

Jon took Paul into the music room and Mike was also in there. Mike played the piano and Jon and Paul played the guitars and they had a little jam session. I was able to take a short video of it so we can use it later to show Paul how far he has come, if he gets discouraged about his progress at any point.

After that, we said the rosary and while we prayed the Glorious Mysteries, I thought about how much we are loved. If I was asked how much God loves me, I would take my cue from Paul and I would have to say IT'S OFF THE CHART. He sent Jesus to save us from our sinfulness, and then sent the Holy Spirit to inspire us to step beyond what the world poses to us and then dedicate ourselves to God. We also have been given Mary, Queen of Heaven, who by her intercession is an advocate for every creature on earth. What abundant love God has for his children.

We pray that the gifts of the Holy Spirit help all of you and us to live our lives as witnesses to the power of God active in the world.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero