Homeward Bound

We had our family asessment meeting today with the case manager and therapists at Shepherd Pathways Center. It was not at all what we had hoped it would be. Paul lost a lot of strength during his illness with pneumonia and he has a difficult time getting through the 3 hours of therapy he receives the 3 days a week that he goes. They have determined that it might be in Paul's best interest to let him stay at home and have home health care. A physical, occupational and speech therapist will come to our home to do Paul's therapies so that he will not use his energies leaving home. We were surprised to hear this, but I prayed on the way home that we will be able to find good therapists to help Paul. He will be evaluated again in a month to see if he has the endurance to handle the curriculum at Pathways. We were instructed to work with him on a daily routine which would include chores around the house (we will tell Paul he always loved helping us before his accident..............smile) and get as much excercise as possible to build his endurance. I have a meeting with a nutritionist at Shepherd Hospital next Wednesday to go over Paul's needs to help him build his strength back up. The speech therapist will be sending material over to help us work with Paul in this area. It was apparent to the therapists that Paul does more communicating at home then with them and while he is at Shepherd, it is hard for them to get much out of Paul. He does not seem to be able to get his bearings and is very confused about why he is there. He tires so easily that by the second hour he wants to take a nap. He did very well in his therapy with the music therapist, so they also suggested we make sure to incorporate music into Paul's daily routines, along with excercise and reading/writing skills.

We feel like we are back at square one, but I know God has a plan for Paul and that all this will serve a purpose. Yes, I am clueless at this moment about that plan or purpose, but I know that we will be led according to God's will. I do not doubt that for one moment! I won't deny that a moment of fear came over me as they were telling us they didn't think they could help us at this time. Later, I found find peace thinking about how God's ways have been mysterious to us before and that our only response is to trust in Him and know He loves us so much. He wants us to have faith. That is all He is asking of us right now. I can do that, because your prayers have brought so much grace and strength! Visibly so.

We have talked with a few of Paul's friends and have asked that they visit Paul to help him reconnect with his life before 11/11. He has been online with some of them through instant messaging and he has talked on the cell phone with them. We are hopeful that his seeing his buddies again will bring him along a little more quickly. Spending all his days with mainly his mother has to be enough to cause him to regress! I think about how that must be for a 21 yr old male, and almost all his waking moments he is with his mom. Yes, I am quite sure he needs his friends around him, doing the things they used to do, and having more age-relavent conversations.

I was reading the gospel of St. Mark 2:1-12. A paralytic man is brought to Jesus by 4 of his friends. They cannot get near Jesus so they go through the roof and drop the man in from the top. They ask Jesus to heal him and Jesus tells the man his sins are forgiven. He answers the questions of the Pharisees ("Why does this man speak in this way? It is blasphemy! Who can forgive sins but God alone?) by saying "Why do you raise such questions in your heart? Which is easier to say to the paralytic man, 'Your sins are forgiven' or to say 'Stand up and take your mat'? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins" he said to the paralytic man " I say to you stand up and take your mat and go to your home."

This gospel reminds us that first, the friends were very persistent in helping their friend get to Jesus. They did not give up when they saw the crowds around Jesus, but found another very difficult way in to the building Jesus was in. Today, we found a door that was closed, but through our persistent prayers we will find a window! Paul will reach his full recovery.

Also, the friends of the paralytic man asked Jesus to heal the man. Jesus first told the man his sins were forgiven. The lesson here is that while it would take nothing on the part of Jesus to bring Paul full recovery, it appears he is asking us to get our spiritual lives healed and strong first, as that is more important than anything else - more than our physical well being. How else do we expect to enter into our home in heaven if we are not resolved in our spiritual life to seek the kingdom of God?

So, once again, we will "seek the kingdom of God first in all things" and accept that we may not understand the course of events, but will have faith that it is the right course. God's hand is in all things.

Paul was pretty tired today when we got home and his eye was really hurting him, so he didn't eat much lunch. I fixed the feeding for the stomach tube and while it was flowing in, I sat praying the rosary out loud. Paul closed his eyes almost immediately as he rested while being fed and I thought he had fallen asleep. He was not moving at all and even the tremor in his hands stopped. But then I noticed his lips moving ever so slightly and I realized he was silently praying the Hail Mary's with me. God must truly be speaking to Paul in the silence of his heart.

Lord, grant us the grace to grow stronger in our faith and love for you, so that we don't let any obstacles weaken our relationship with you, through the intercession of Our Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God.

Praise be His Holy Name,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero