You Can't Keep a Good Dog Down

Friday, September 8

"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense. You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what He has promised."

My niece, Kelly Fidero, sent me a book of scripture passages that are organized into different categories. After our appointment yesterday with the plastic surgeon, I came home and had to open it. I looked up passages pertaining to PATIENCE. I did this because I am most certain this is a virtue that God is still waiting for me to learn!!!

Yesterday, I was left the plastic surgeon's with more disappointment and a sense that no one seems to really care about my son and his recovery. I get the feeling they look at him and think to themselves, "Why are you bothering?" In fact, the doctor said that with Paul not being able to see out of his eye, he was not sure there was a reason to do any surgery. Paul corrected him and said he can see some things. It didn't seem to matter though. This doctor wanted to know who was in charge of Paul's overall recovery. I told him that was a very good question indeed, and it was one we were trying to find an answer to. He asked if Paul had seen an opthamologist and I said he has seen 3 that have been referred by other doctors we have seen. He wanted to know what their game plan was. I said the only thing told to us is that Paul should have a gold-weight surgically implanted in his eyelid and that he needed reconstructive surgery because the first go round was a 'botch-job." Then we were sent on our way with no other directions. We did not have the gold-weight implanted because they could not find one heavy enough to hold the lid down without having to stitch part of his eyelid closed. We didn't want to do that. Our hope has been that he will be able to have his nerves repair to the extent he will be able to avoid having it surgically closed. Paul's eye tears enough now that his cornea stays moist enough to stay healthy and we use a strip of tape to close it each day, which works well. We take the tape off 2 times a day to let Paul excercise his eyelid by his attempts to open and close it. Where it used to take him minutes to close it once, he can open and close it a couple of times within 5-10 seconds. If he had had it closed by surgery, he would not be able to excercise it, which is important if he hopes to recover any use of his eyelid. So anyway, the plastic surgeon said that he could not do anything for Paul because he thinks that the reason Paul's eye is down and to the left is because of weak muscles and an opthamologist would do that repair. I told him that actually we were told that the socket was never repaired effectively and that is why his eye is out of the socket just a bit more than the other one. He thinks it is a muslce issue. He told us to check back with our opthamologist at Emory -the one who said we needed to have reconstructive surgery.............sigh.) I asked if he had the name of a good opthamologist he would recommend and he said he was not familiar with any opthamologists. We don't want to use the one at Emory because he seemed way too interested in inserting some type of spring-loaded mechanism that would force Paul's eyelid closed and it has a high rate of complications requiring possibly numerous revisions. Other than that, he wasn't going to do anything else. I cannot in good conscience subject Paul to any more 'devices' that have numerous complications. He has one. His shunt. With no doctor who has been able to solve that problem.
We left there and I no sooner closed the door of my car than the tears began flowing. Really flowing. All of my disappointment in the last few appointments with these 'specialists' came pouring out. Paul sat quietly, then said simply, "God knows what we need. We just have to wait." I took a deep breath, agreed with him as I hugged him and said that I would stop the flow of tears so my own eyes could see to drive home. I then laughed about the fact that at least one good thing came from this appointment. They had to retape Paul's eye after examing it and they provided these great little tape strips that worked really well. And it only took one of them to hold Paul's eye down very nicely. Poor Paul -after much expense and also pain involved, I had finally finished my experiments and found a tape that was perforated and could be torn very easily into thin strips. I have been carefully tearing them each morning to the right size and using 4 of these to hold down his eyelid. He has had to lay there for about 15 minutes while I 'fix' his eye for the day - gently removing the old strips of tape, putting gel in under his upper eyelid, wiping away any excess, then painstakingly afixing each strip of tape to his eyelid. These new strips are ready to go, have a lot less adhesive on the back (for easier and painless removal, YAHOO) and it only takes one of them. It is wider than the ones I was tearing which is okay because it is not as sticky on the back - that means it won't pull out the eyelashes when removed. I had made mine thin to keep that from happening.

So anyway, that is why I looked up the word 'patience' when I was thumbing through this new book. With patience, we will get there and there will be greater peace in our hearts. Since we are back to square one with no action being taken, I believe we will just go back to square one and see the very first opthamologist that worked on Paul. He will know the history, and he was very helpful. He was the one who told me at the onset that if we ever hoped to save Paul's eye, we needed to tend to it religiously. That turned out to be great advice. I'm going back for more of his advice and go with my own instincts this time. That is, after I sit down and patiently pray about it over the weekend.

Paul has had 3 really awesome days. He is full of life, action and jokes. He has not had to lay down like before, just a few quick naps and he is up again. His spirits have been high and he has even done some jobs around here willingly. I caught on camera the one where he took out the trash..............I know his brothers will be shocked to see that picture! He is remembering so much more also. Jerry, who takes him around on Wednesday's and Friday's sent me an email to let me know that Paul even remembered who ran against each other in the last 3 presidential elections. So I decided to test him and asked him why the Civil War took place and he said there were a number of reasons and told them to me. He talks a little more seriously about his future and other topics. I have even found him reading the newspaper - and not the comic section........smile. He will ask questions about what he read. in regards to his therapy, he does his homework quickly and said he surprised his speech therapist by doing all the assignments that weren't even due for another day.

He still makes me laugh every day and I do love being with him. His desire to pray is so strong and it keeps me on my prayerful pathway. We went to St. Stephen's yesterday after the appointment, so we could thank God for His constant help and also to ask for guidance as we move forward. Paul sat in the front pew and prayed out loud. Afterward, he sat quietly for a moment and then said, "I know this will sound crazy Jesus, but I have to ask one more important favor. Please, if dogs are allowed to go to heaven, please make sure Abby goes. I know dogs don't possess souls, but since God made them, I am hopeful they can go to heaven too." As we walked out I told Paul that it just might be that Abby already HAS a place in heaven reserved and that this whole affair was to make sure WE got to meet her there! Paul laughed and said, "Than it is well worth it. I love my dog."

Big News - Paul passed his second driving test. Jerry told me that he let Paul drive his car which has a manual transmission. He said Paul had perfect coordination and they didn't stall out or lurch once. He said he was so excited watching Paul do it so well. It will be awhile before Paul will be cleared to drive again and it's not like he or any of us are pushing for it, but it is good to know he isn't afraid or incapable of getting back to it.

Today is the birthday of the Blessed Mother. May we all continue to the courage and strength and the PATIENCE to keep saying "yes" as she did in her life. May our prayers be lovingly brought to Jesus by our Mother in heaven.

From today's readings - (IS 61:10)With delight I rejoice in the Lord. Though I trusted in your mercy, let my heart rejoice in your salvation. Let me sing of the Lord, "He has been good to me."
Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, deserving of all praise; from you rose the sun of justice, Christ our Lord.
(Cor 8:28) Brothers and sisters; we know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca