Around 1 A.M. I was awake and thought Jon was sleeping. I was thinking of a million things and then for some reason, thought about hearing Paul's voice on his cell phone recording earlier in the day. His voice was as he used to sound before his accident. It took me by surprise to hear how different it used to be. I started to dwell again on how vibrant his life used to be, how he could walk so fluidly and how he laughed so freely, smiled so gently and because I was so tired, it was all too easy for me to get all teary-eyed about it. Jon was not sleeping after all and he asked me what was wrong. I told him I was just being silly and was just missing my Paul from last year. Jon said he had been feeling the same way and I could tell he was trying not to cry. We talked about it a bit longer, then started to pray a Hail Mary, since we remembered it had been the day of Our Lady of Sorrows feast day and we would offer up our sorrow. As we were praying, Paul heard us and he asked us what was the matter. I told him nothing, we were just praying. He got very serious in his tone and asked us, "Is there something you know about me and haven't told me? Is there something I don't know?" I told him not really, it was just that it was very hard for us to watch him suffer in his pain and to know that we don't have the answers to help him. It is tough to handle sometimes and so we just pray hard. He said he knows he has has been a sinner in his life and since he is, he just offers his pain up to God. He said that he talks to God about it and he tells him that he isn't trying to bargain with Him, but that he does ask to get better soon so that his parents won't have to work so hard taking care of him and so he can really help us out more. He said he prays for our whole family a lot, so that we can all be closer to God. We hugged each other, then finished our 'talk' with a few more prayers and then we all went to sleep.
This morning, we were giving Paul his early A.M. medicine and I thought he might wake up a bit grumpy since we had been awake during the night. He woke up and took it and then asked me if I had seen him take 2 straight swallows without having to stop in between? I said I hadn't, so he did it again. He was quite happy about it. He then took a really big amount and swallowed twice in a row and also didn't let any spill from the side of his mouth that is paralyzed. He was pleased about it and just smiled at me. When he finished his water, I don't know why, but I asked him to see if he could whistle. He has tried before and it comes out almost too quiet to hear. Today, he was able to whistle very clearly - better than he had so far. He gave me a wide-eye look to show his surprise at how well he had done. We both laughed about how awesome he had done and then he laid back down to go back to sleep, since it was so early yet.
God's reward to Paul for his continued patience, I am sure.
I know I will whistle while I work today!
Peace to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
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4 comments:
wow! this post put tears in my eyes. what an incredible faith you all have. it really is quite amazing to me. it makes me reflect on my own spiritual life and how much i take for granted. thank you for continuing to share your inspiring story on this blog. it really helps me everyday in my own life.
I've been out of town and so I had to catch up with 3 weeks of postings. What progress Paul is making! Praise the Lord and His Blessed Mother!
Remember your trip to California. I think you're approaching the Oklahoma border, with lots of travels and gains to be made. He still has five years of recovery stretching ahead of him, perhaps more. Each day brings new surprises.
Keep us in your prayers and we will continue praying for you.....
paul - your hair looks great!
Just thought you should know...
The angels and saints in heaven are whistling in awe of Paul's faith and persistence. You and all of "Team Fidero" are amazing and an inspiration. Keep going and we are praying for you every day.
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