The saying that 'no news is good news' is applicable now. We have had a quiet week and we have enjoyed that. Paul goes to Mass and work each morning, then has various activities planned in the afternoons. On Wednesday and Friday, Jerry takes him swimming. He works out for about 30-45 minutes. It is a 'walking' pool that has heated water and is only 5 ft deep at most. Paul can swim by himself and works on gaining more strength in his arms and legs. He has had worse headaches this week, but has stayed the course in getting out each day. We are working on getting a personal trainer lined up and also some music lessons.
Yesterday I was working from home and at lunch time I sat talking with Paul. The conversation led somehow toward what happened in the moments and days right after the accident. I was sharing with Paul how much his brothers love him and how they were affected by his injuries and the fact that he almost died. I remembered and shared with him something still very clear in my mind of an example of how much his brothers love him. It was about 3 days after the accident and Jon and I were out on the back deck. We were home for the hours of 6-8 PM since no one was allowed in any of the rooms at that time due to the shift change at the hospital. So we came home and I think because there was only family around, our guard was down and Jon and I could not hold onto our sorrow any longer and we cried very hard. After a few moments, we heard our son Jon crying. He was inside and he too was overcome with saddness. We came in and saw that Marie was hugging him to comfort him. I was telling Paul about it and in a tone of disbelief, he asked me, "My brother Jon was crying like that?" I said that he was and it was because he loved his brother so much. Paul then really shocked me and started to cry really hard. He said over and over he was sorry he caused us so much pain. I jumped up and hugged him and said, "I didn't want you to be sad, I wanted you to know how deeply we love you and how much your brothers love you!" Paul has not cried like that in years and after awhile, he stopped and asked me a lot more questions about who came to see him and what were some of the things going on with him. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes. We also read some of the messages in a spiral notebook that everyone wrote in for Paul to read when he got well. (I came across it again last week.) He really enjoyed reading some of his friend's remarks.
In the past week, Paul has twice shown that he is feeling things on a deeper level and has exhibited the outward signs. The other time was last week. One evening, he went to bed early with a headache. We all gathered upstairs to pray with him and he read some of the stations of the cross to us. Afterwards, Jerry, Paul and I were looking through the spiral notebook and we came across the message Paul's dad wrote to him. I remember reading it the day after he wrote it and it seemed like such a strange thing to write and I could not relate to it at all. I was expecting it to be a tender father-son kind of message, but instead, it was a spoof Jon made up about Paul's band. He told Paul not to worry about missing the concert that Paul was to play in with his band the night after his accident. Jon told him that he filled in for him, even though the band was a little reluctant when he showed up. He went on to write about how he couldn't wear his old leather pants, since they didn't fit, so he wore some green pants with his white socks and black shoes and a vest with no shirt. He thought he looked cool. Of course, Jake (who leads the band) didn't think so, so they skirmished until he overpowered Jake. After that he was okay with it. He thought that secretly Jake was thinking he would show him up and was just jealous. The band quickly went over the set list and he made a few changes. For starters, he told the band he would do the singing since Jake's voice was too pitchy. There was some grumbling but he assured them he knew what he was doing. He also added a few numbers he knew would be crowd pleasers - like, "I Feel Fine" and got straight into "Year of the Cat". The crowd was less enthusiastic than he expected so they played some of Jake's songs and the crowd started to warm up and get into the music. He described how he then got hung up on the amp cord while doing some 'moves' and fell off the stage. He said the band members were so nice and sympathetic. He said they helped him load up his guitar and little amp and told him they would not go on with the show until they were sure he was on his way home. He told them he would be happy to fill in any time for Paul and they said they'd let him know.
As I was reading this to Paul, he started to laugh at the second sentence and could not stop laughing as he listened. This was the first time he had heard what his dad wrote to him and he at one point was laughing so hard he put his hand up to let me know to stop so he could catch his breath. Jerry and I were laughing really hard too just watching Paul. I called downstairs to Jon to come join us. We read through it again and Paul and his dad were both laughing really hard. Before the accident, they had been practicing a few 'oldie' songs for a mini concert on the deck for friends and family. They always shared lots of laughs as they joked around when one of them played the wrong notes and how Paul played so much better than his dad. Here we were, 11 months later and the entry Jon wrote in that notebook brought back the fun they shared with music. It made Paul laugh harder than he has since the accident. Paul has reread it a couple of times since then and laughs each time. I told Jon I was so mistaken about his entry. I thought it was a really weird thing for him to write and he said he just had lots of hope that someday Paul would be able to read it and get a kick out of it. What a great father-son moment it was too!
I am sure that the fact that Paul experienced 2 very separate emotions in such profound ways, shows more healing is taking place. I have wondered why he hadn't shown any deeper level of emotion - but it appears he is capable of it! More of those awesome moments shared that I will treasure and remember.
We have the ear doctor appointment on Monday. Our prayers are that they can help Paul hear out of his left ear. He hears sounds, but it is very muffled. I have contacted the plastic surgeon to see if he has been able to determin if he will need to surgically restructure the orbital or if the eye globe adjustment only needs an opthamologist. I am supposed to hear back by tomorrow.
I read something written by St. Pio of Pietrelcina that was a great help.
"Have no fear for the future, for God is with you and he is suprememly faithful and will not allow you to be overwhelmed by our enemy. This divine Lover will never allow a soul that is consecrated to him in a most particular way to remain a victim of the most implacable of all its enemies. No,no. The enemy will never obtain this victory. Remember that your soul is in the arms of your divine Spouse, like a baby in its mother's arms. You may sleep in peace, therefore, for this heavenly Spouse will guide you in the way which is to your greatest advantage.
God's peace to you.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I Can See Clearly Now
God's glory continues to show in this wonderful story of his.
On Tuesday, I was overwhelmed with the joy of the news that Paul's eye is in good condition and asked him if he would like to stop at St. Stephen's on our way home from rehab. I said we should stop by to specifically thank God for his wonderous deed. Paul said that would be a good idea, so we did. When we walked into the sanctuary, there was a lady sitting near the front, so I whispered to Paul that we would not be able to pray out loud, as he likes to do when he lights candles in front of the Mother of Perpetual Help icon. He said that we should go to the woman and ask her if she would like us to pray with her. I mentioned to him that since she was alone at church, she probably wanted some quiet time alone and we should not disturb her. I said we could go light some candles, then come to the back of the church and say our prayers, and could just include her intentions along with ours. Paul had been holding my hand, and in response to my last statement, he took his hand from mine, and then told me, "You can go light candles, but I am going to go ask that woman if she would like me to pray with her." He walked away from me and headed down the aisle. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to disturb the woman. So I walked down the far left aisle and went to the candles. I thought to myself that I would go over and get him after I finished and that way we would not bother anyone for very long. I heard Paul talking to her and as I turned around to look at them, I realized I knew the woman. I told her I hoped we were not disturbing her and she then told us why she was there. Paul and I said we would be sure to keep her and her family in our prayers because she really was very upset. Paul told her he would light candles for her too and for her children. We went back over to the candles and Paul prayed for many things. The woman left while he was praying. Later, I told Paul that I was so happy he had the courage to walk up to someone he didn't know and offer to pray for them. I felt a bit guilty about not being so open to the needs of others.
On Wednesday, I had a really bad day at work and came home a half hour earlier than usual because of a bad headache. Our neighbor across the street (Bob) started to walk over to me and so I met him on his lawn. As we were talking, my other neighbor Connie also came home early. She got out of her car and came over to us saying she had an amazing story for us. She said that her high school friend, who reads our blog also, sent her an email that day which had been received by the high school friend's very good friend. (Hope this won't be too confusing......smile). The email was written to share about how God had answered her prayer. She wrote that she had really been going through a very rough time in her life and her family was suffering so much. She was very sad and upset and had stopped by church to pray for God's help. She said she had looked up and asked God to please send her a sign that everything would be okay and she then felt a soft touch on her hand. She then heard a voice say, "Would you like me to pray with you?". She looked over and she said God had sent her an angel and his name was Paul Fidero. She recognized him right away. She was so happy he had come with his offer of prayer. Connie said that since her high school friend had learned about Paul through Connie, she had to share the story of this other friend. I told Connie about the rest of that story, which was that I had tried to stop Paul from 'bothering' this woman who was truly in need of comfort and prayer. I said that in my effort to go thank God for Paul's 20/20 vision, I was the one whose eyes had been opened! As Connie was telling us about all this, Bob had tears flowing down his face. He got his handkerchief out and said, "I don't know why I am crying, I don't ever cry." Then he said, "that was our Paully who did that". I was trying hard not to cry, but when Bob referred to him as "our Paully" I felt my own tears well up. Paul's love of God is for everyone and as Connie said, that penny that God dropped in the water is rippling out in every direction. She said the original email went out to about 30 people, with her high school friend being one of them. No telling how many people will see how awesome God is - only God knows. But for me, it showed how each of us is truly part of his tapestry, bringing a little something to his world. About an hour later, Bob's wife came over to me to tell me that Bob told her about this story and she said they both cried and that "Bob never cries." She said Paul has really shown Bob about God and his love.
When I told Paul about how he had helped the woman for whom he had offered his prayers and then Bob's reaction to the subsequent event, Paul said, "That makes me want to cry." I told him that his openness to God taught me that I needed to pray that my own eyes would see more clearly His ways and His love for us.
Paul has been going to work and has gone swimming 2 times this week. Jerry said that he stays very active while in the pool. It will be a great physical therapy for him and Jerry was so kind to buy him a yearly pass. We are going to contact the woman who provided us with her email address concerning the personal trainer. Paul really needs to build his endurance and muscle tone. I use his genuflecting as a guide and he is still pretty wobbly when he goes down to his knees......smile.
He has had some really good days this week. One moment that stands out with the other one just mentioned is when Paul walked over to Bob's house. I was doing something that was taking too long, so Paul started to walk without me. I came out the door and was going to tell him to wait, but decided to see if he would do it all alone. My only worry is that there is a hill which cars come over too fast sometimes and I always tell Paul that we need to be listening for any cars. He stopped and looked both ways, and kept watching the hill as he crossed. I joined him over at Bob's and we both congratulated him on doing it alone. He also went home by himself. He walked further down toward our house before he crossed, so there was more distance away from the hill - this he figured out for himself. After he got to our house and near the front door, he walked back out to the lawn and I saw him take a deep breath and then he yelled over "I love you mom", waved and then walked in. I turned to Bob and said, "That is the first time he yelled - that took some work." Bob and I reflected on how far he has come. I told him I had kept a vision like that in my head since the accident, where Paul would be walking away from me independently and calling back to me, "See you later mom". I am getting to witness it more and more as Paul heads out with Michael and Ann (to go to the local ice cream shop) and with Jerry (to go out to eat........his favorite past-time!!).
God's story just keeps unfolding and we are so blessed to be so much more aware of it in our lives. All these wonderful and tender stories keep giving us so much strength and joy.
"How great is your goodness, Lord, stored up for those who fear you.
You display it for those who trust you, in the sight of all the people."
(Psalm 31:20)
Praise be to God. All Glory to God.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
On Tuesday, I was overwhelmed with the joy of the news that Paul's eye is in good condition and asked him if he would like to stop at St. Stephen's on our way home from rehab. I said we should stop by to specifically thank God for his wonderous deed. Paul said that would be a good idea, so we did. When we walked into the sanctuary, there was a lady sitting near the front, so I whispered to Paul that we would not be able to pray out loud, as he likes to do when he lights candles in front of the Mother of Perpetual Help icon. He said that we should go to the woman and ask her if she would like us to pray with her. I mentioned to him that since she was alone at church, she probably wanted some quiet time alone and we should not disturb her. I said we could go light some candles, then come to the back of the church and say our prayers, and could just include her intentions along with ours. Paul had been holding my hand, and in response to my last statement, he took his hand from mine, and then told me, "You can go light candles, but I am going to go ask that woman if she would like me to pray with her." He walked away from me and headed down the aisle. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to disturb the woman. So I walked down the far left aisle and went to the candles. I thought to myself that I would go over and get him after I finished and that way we would not bother anyone for very long. I heard Paul talking to her and as I turned around to look at them, I realized I knew the woman. I told her I hoped we were not disturbing her and she then told us why she was there. Paul and I said we would be sure to keep her and her family in our prayers because she really was very upset. Paul told her he would light candles for her too and for her children. We went back over to the candles and Paul prayed for many things. The woman left while he was praying. Later, I told Paul that I was so happy he had the courage to walk up to someone he didn't know and offer to pray for them. I felt a bit guilty about not being so open to the needs of others.
On Wednesday, I had a really bad day at work and came home a half hour earlier than usual because of a bad headache. Our neighbor across the street (Bob) started to walk over to me and so I met him on his lawn. As we were talking, my other neighbor Connie also came home early. She got out of her car and came over to us saying she had an amazing story for us. She said that her high school friend, who reads our blog also, sent her an email that day which had been received by the high school friend's very good friend. (Hope this won't be too confusing......smile). The email was written to share about how God had answered her prayer. She wrote that she had really been going through a very rough time in her life and her family was suffering so much. She was very sad and upset and had stopped by church to pray for God's help. She said she had looked up and asked God to please send her a sign that everything would be okay and she then felt a soft touch on her hand. She then heard a voice say, "Would you like me to pray with you?". She looked over and she said God had sent her an angel and his name was Paul Fidero. She recognized him right away. She was so happy he had come with his offer of prayer. Connie said that since her high school friend had learned about Paul through Connie, she had to share the story of this other friend. I told Connie about the rest of that story, which was that I had tried to stop Paul from 'bothering' this woman who was truly in need of comfort and prayer. I said that in my effort to go thank God for Paul's 20/20 vision, I was the one whose eyes had been opened! As Connie was telling us about all this, Bob had tears flowing down his face. He got his handkerchief out and said, "I don't know why I am crying, I don't ever cry." Then he said, "that was our Paully who did that". I was trying hard not to cry, but when Bob referred to him as "our Paully" I felt my own tears well up. Paul's love of God is for everyone and as Connie said, that penny that God dropped in the water is rippling out in every direction. She said the original email went out to about 30 people, with her high school friend being one of them. No telling how many people will see how awesome God is - only God knows. But for me, it showed how each of us is truly part of his tapestry, bringing a little something to his world. About an hour later, Bob's wife came over to me to tell me that Bob told her about this story and she said they both cried and that "Bob never cries." She said Paul has really shown Bob about God and his love.
When I told Paul about how he had helped the woman for whom he had offered his prayers and then Bob's reaction to the subsequent event, Paul said, "That makes me want to cry." I told him that his openness to God taught me that I needed to pray that my own eyes would see more clearly His ways and His love for us.
Paul has been going to work and has gone swimming 2 times this week. Jerry said that he stays very active while in the pool. It will be a great physical therapy for him and Jerry was so kind to buy him a yearly pass. We are going to contact the woman who provided us with her email address concerning the personal trainer. Paul really needs to build his endurance and muscle tone. I use his genuflecting as a guide and he is still pretty wobbly when he goes down to his knees......smile.
He has had some really good days this week. One moment that stands out with the other one just mentioned is when Paul walked over to Bob's house. I was doing something that was taking too long, so Paul started to walk without me. I came out the door and was going to tell him to wait, but decided to see if he would do it all alone. My only worry is that there is a hill which cars come over too fast sometimes and I always tell Paul that we need to be listening for any cars. He stopped and looked both ways, and kept watching the hill as he crossed. I joined him over at Bob's and we both congratulated him on doing it alone. He also went home by himself. He walked further down toward our house before he crossed, so there was more distance away from the hill - this he figured out for himself. After he got to our house and near the front door, he walked back out to the lawn and I saw him take a deep breath and then he yelled over "I love you mom", waved and then walked in. I turned to Bob and said, "That is the first time he yelled - that took some work." Bob and I reflected on how far he has come. I told him I had kept a vision like that in my head since the accident, where Paul would be walking away from me independently and calling back to me, "See you later mom". I am getting to witness it more and more as Paul heads out with Michael and Ann (to go to the local ice cream shop) and with Jerry (to go out to eat........his favorite past-time!!).
God's story just keeps unfolding and we are so blessed to be so much more aware of it in our lives. All these wonderful and tender stories keep giving us so much strength and joy.
"How great is your goodness, Lord, stored up for those who fear you.
You display it for those who trust you, in the sight of all the people."
(Psalm 31:20)
Praise be to God. All Glory to God.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory........
We had the appointment with the eye doctor who originally treated Paul in the week following his accident. At that time we were told that he would probably not ever see in that eye again. We found out later that he had some limited vision, where he was able to see the lower half of his vision field, but basically was legally blind. His last appointment in May, he was not able to see the 'E' on the eye chart. The nurse checked him today and he could see the 'E' and the next row down. And the next row down. And the next row down. And yes, the next. When we had come into the room, she talked to us about the history and asked if he could see out of his eye and I responded that we had been told he could see in a very limited way. So as she was going down the rows, she was looking at me and her smile got bigger with each row, as did mine and Jon's!! Jon and I kept looking at each other as Paul kept calling off the letters, row by row. I started to get tears in my eyes, and was basically stunned by what was happening. The nurse finished and said, "Well folks, as you can see, he has 20/20 vision in both eyes." She walked out to get the doctor and Jon and I jumped up and went to Paul and just hugged him. He said, "I think we should thank God for my eyesight. Let's say a prayer." We prayed our spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving to God and just kept hugging each other. After about 10 minutes, Jon and I sat down. Paul started to do a drum beat that he always does when he is sitting around and is waiting, and so I asked him to show me again so I could learn. Then Jon joined the 'drum' lesson and before you know it, we were all working on the pattern Paul does. Then he showed us some things his friend Brendan (who is an awesome drummer as we have mentioned before.......hello Brendan!) had showed him and we had a really fun time trying to keep up with Paul and laughing at our complete ineptness (compared to Paul). We had to wait for about 45 minutes for the doctor, but we were talking, drumming and laughing the whole time. The doctor came in and asked us how we all had been doing. He then concentrated on Paul and asked him to put his eye patch on his right eye. He wanted to make sure that Paul had not used his right eye in reading the chart. He knew how badly Paul's eye had been injured and I don't think he believed the findings. He went straight to the row that would prove the 20/20 vision and Paul could not read it. I could hardly breathe, thinking Paul had 'cheated'. The doctor asked him to rub his eye and then he tried the row above the 20/20 one and Paul read it just fine. Then the doctor went back to the 20/20 row and Paul did read it. The doctor said that he just had to make sure Paul had not faked it somehow. As he turned the lights up a bit, he turned to Jon and I and said, "There you have it. His eyesight is better in both eyes than mine are with glasses!" He was so pleased to be part of this awesome news. He called his nurse and said, "I don't know if you remember this young man, but he was not supposed to walk out of a hospital again. And look at him now." He said to Paul, "I didn't get to hear your voice when I saw you. Do you remember anything I did to you at the hospital?" Paul said no and the doctor said, "That's probably a good thing too." He then checked Paul's eye and said we had done a good job maintaining the health of his eye and he was really glad about it. He said the globe is in very good shape and said that with surgery, they will be able to work the muscles to help Paul not have double vision. He said that they might have to do surgery on the right eye also, to coordinate the muscles in both eyes. Paul at that point said, "Excuse me doctor, but I have a question. Why would they have to do surgery on my right eye?" The doctor explained it further and Paul was satisfied with the answer. (It is hard to tell if he is listening half the time, since he wears his sun glasses, you can't tell if he is paying attention. This showed he was paying very close attention!) Dr. Tucker is not the doctor to do the surgery, but he will help us find one. He said we really should get the hydrocephalus issue resolved first and to rule out any brain fluid leaks since it has been brought up by Dr. Ghaly. It would become an issue if the leak is in the orbital area and would affect the surgery for repairing the eye muscles. He set up a game plan we should follow, then we are to call him when we are ready for the eye surgery. We will continue taping Paul's eye as we have been as it has proven to be very effective for maintaining his eye health. We will now get the appointment with the doctor in Charlotte NC, and if he can't help us, we will have to head up to Chicago to talk to Dr. Ghaly. We were hoping to stay closer to home, but we have complete trust that God will be steering us as we go forward.
Today's Doctor appointment, $200
Gas to get there, $9
Drum lessons while waiting, $100 (per Paul)
Joy felt in that room..........priceless!!
We started to call family members as soon as we started to walk to the car. Paul was on the phone with Jon (his brother) and I called Michael and then my family members that I could reach, which was only 2 since I was driving. We were driving by Jerry's house and as I was thinking it, Paul said it, "Pull into their driveway so we can tell them." I honked the horn as we pulled into the Hufford's driveway - I was so excited. We told them that Paul's vision is fully restored and they were as overjoyed as everyone else. They invited us to stay for dinner. We had to go home first to get Paul his medicine. We quickly drove the 2 blocks home and got out and saw Bob and Barb across the street. Paul's head was hurting really badly, but when he saw them he said, "Let's go tell them too." So we walked across the street and after he hugged them both he shared the good news. So much exitement all around! We went back to the Huffords after Paul was done and we had a wonderful meal amid much laughter.
My sister in law, Kelly, was the one who said "Mine eyes have seen the glory" when told and it is a great title for this blog indeed!
Paul's spirituality is a wonderful thing to witness and be part of. His first words were to say thanks to God when he understood what had happened today. He asked God to keep helping him be a good son to his parents and to be able to be of help to his family. He is so centered in his prayers and has the very trust in God that children have in their earthly parents.
Thank you for all of your words of love, encouragement, joy and faith. Ten months of beautifully written sentiments - Our eyes HAVE SEEN seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. In gratitude to the God who gives us every blessing we pray, Blessed be the God of our salvation!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Today's Doctor appointment, $200
Gas to get there, $9
Drum lessons while waiting, $100 (per Paul)
Joy felt in that room..........priceless!!
We started to call family members as soon as we started to walk to the car. Paul was on the phone with Jon (his brother) and I called Michael and then my family members that I could reach, which was only 2 since I was driving. We were driving by Jerry's house and as I was thinking it, Paul said it, "Pull into their driveway so we can tell them." I honked the horn as we pulled into the Hufford's driveway - I was so excited. We told them that Paul's vision is fully restored and they were as overjoyed as everyone else. They invited us to stay for dinner. We had to go home first to get Paul his medicine. We quickly drove the 2 blocks home and got out and saw Bob and Barb across the street. Paul's head was hurting really badly, but when he saw them he said, "Let's go tell them too." So we walked across the street and after he hugged them both he shared the good news. So much exitement all around! We went back to the Huffords after Paul was done and we had a wonderful meal amid much laughter.
My sister in law, Kelly, was the one who said "Mine eyes have seen the glory" when told and it is a great title for this blog indeed!
Paul's spirituality is a wonderful thing to witness and be part of. His first words were to say thanks to God when he understood what had happened today. He asked God to keep helping him be a good son to his parents and to be able to be of help to his family. He is so centered in his prayers and has the very trust in God that children have in their earthly parents.
Thank you for all of your words of love, encouragement, joy and faith. Ten months of beautifully written sentiments - Our eyes HAVE SEEN seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. In gratitude to the God who gives us every blessing we pray, Blessed be the God of our salvation!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Whistle While You Work
Around 1 A.M. I was awake and thought Jon was sleeping. I was thinking of a million things and then for some reason, thought about hearing Paul's voice on his cell phone recording earlier in the day. His voice was as he used to sound before his accident. It took me by surprise to hear how different it used to be. I started to dwell again on how vibrant his life used to be, how he could walk so fluidly and how he laughed so freely, smiled so gently and because I was so tired, it was all too easy for me to get all teary-eyed about it. Jon was not sleeping after all and he asked me what was wrong. I told him I was just being silly and was just missing my Paul from last year. Jon said he had been feeling the same way and I could tell he was trying not to cry. We talked about it a bit longer, then started to pray a Hail Mary, since we remembered it had been the day of Our Lady of Sorrows feast day and we would offer up our sorrow. As we were praying, Paul heard us and he asked us what was the matter. I told him nothing, we were just praying. He got very serious in his tone and asked us, "Is there something you know about me and haven't told me? Is there something I don't know?" I told him not really, it was just that it was very hard for us to watch him suffer in his pain and to know that we don't have the answers to help him. It is tough to handle sometimes and so we just pray hard. He said he knows he has has been a sinner in his life and since he is, he just offers his pain up to God. He said that he talks to God about it and he tells him that he isn't trying to bargain with Him, but that he does ask to get better soon so that his parents won't have to work so hard taking care of him and so he can really help us out more. He said he prays for our whole family a lot, so that we can all be closer to God. We hugged each other, then finished our 'talk' with a few more prayers and then we all went to sleep.
This morning, we were giving Paul his early A.M. medicine and I thought he might wake up a bit grumpy since we had been awake during the night. He woke up and took it and then asked me if I had seen him take 2 straight swallows without having to stop in between? I said I hadn't, so he did it again. He was quite happy about it. He then took a really big amount and swallowed twice in a row and also didn't let any spill from the side of his mouth that is paralyzed. He was pleased about it and just smiled at me. When he finished his water, I don't know why, but I asked him to see if he could whistle. He has tried before and it comes out almost too quiet to hear. Today, he was able to whistle very clearly - better than he had so far. He gave me a wide-eye look to show his surprise at how well he had done. We both laughed about how awesome he had done and then he laid back down to go back to sleep, since it was so early yet.
God's reward to Paul for his continued patience, I am sure.
I know I will whistle while I work today!
Peace to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
This morning, we were giving Paul his early A.M. medicine and I thought he might wake up a bit grumpy since we had been awake during the night. He woke up and took it and then asked me if I had seen him take 2 straight swallows without having to stop in between? I said I hadn't, so he did it again. He was quite happy about it. He then took a really big amount and swallowed twice in a row and also didn't let any spill from the side of his mouth that is paralyzed. He was pleased about it and just smiled at me. When he finished his water, I don't know why, but I asked him to see if he could whistle. He has tried before and it comes out almost too quiet to hear. Today, he was able to whistle very clearly - better than he had so far. He gave me a wide-eye look to show his surprise at how well he had done. We both laughed about how awesome he had done and then he laid back down to go back to sleep, since it was so early yet.
God's reward to Paul for his continued patience, I am sure.
I know I will whistle while I work today!
Peace to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Top Hat
Paul is helping pack the lunches for the homeless people downtown
Helen, Paul, Jerry and Michael getting more of the food ready 
Jerry, Jon (behind them) and Paul and his dog Abby
Fr. Peek, Jon, Paul, Rebecca and MichaelThursday Sept 14
I am sorry about such a late posting again. I had one 75% completed and lost it when my computer shut down. This is the first chance I have had to get back to it. Yikes, what a busy week this has been!
On Sunday, we got a great surprise at Mass. Fr. Peek was at St. Stephen's to say Mass since Fr. Paddy was out of town. Fr. Peek was one of the wonderful priests who came to the hospital in those first few weeks that Paul was in intensive care and blessed him. In fact, he was there the night that we got the news that Paul had a blood clot in the main artery in his brain and there was a good chance he would not live. Fr. Peek admistered the sacrament of Annointing of the Sick to Paul. He met with everyone in the hospital chapel and lead everyone in saying the rosary. A week later, he came back and said Mass in Paul's room. He also brought the zuchetto worn by Pope John Paul II during a Mass celebrated on December 22, 1996. The custom is, if you bring a zuchetto that was made for the Pope, specifically from the Italian tailor shop that is authorized to do this, it will be exchanged with the one that the Pope is wearing at the time. Fr. Peek was at the Mass on that day, and he brought a zuchetto with him, handed it to the Swiss guard and this guard brought it to the Pope. Pope John Paul II took the one from his head and put on the one Fr. Peek brought. Fr. Peek then received the zuchetto (skull cap) that Pope John Paul had been wearing. Fr. Peek placed this very zuchetto on Paul's head, for him to wear while Mass was being celebrated in his hospital room. The nurse on duty also attended, along with the family and friends who were there that night. I will never ever forget that evening. The room was filled with such peace and so were we! So, it was just terrific to see Fr. Peek again. He was very glad to see Paul and to see him walking and able to attend Mass with his family. He told Paul to remember that it is easy to be a Christian on a sunny day, but that the most powerful prayer of Christ was on the cross. He encouraged Paul to stand firm in his faith as he worked toward his full recovery, and he blessed him. We got to visit for about 15 minutes more and learned that he had been in Rome again this past Summer and had actually been close enough to Pope Benedict XVI to hold up another zuchetto he had purchased at the Italian tailor shop and Pope Benedict himself exchanged the one he was wearing with the one Fr. Peek help up high for the Pope to see. He said it was just an awesome moment for him. We were thrilled for him!
Saturday afternoon we went to St. Stephen's to help pack lunches and put together hot meals that had been cooked for about 35 people who live under a bridge downtown. There is an outreach program that does this every Saturday afternoon and has been for about 8 years now. Jerry and Michael were going to be delivering the meals, so we decided to take Paul with us to help them get it all ready. When it was almost done and the other people were getting the food coolers into the van, Paul went into the church and prayed for about 15 minutes. Mass was going to start, so he came back to the cafeteria about the time we were ready to go. He is doing very well with getting around independently. He told us he was going to leave to go pray and then walked away without anyone's help. It is wonderful to see him making decisions about what he wants to do and then doing it. One step closer to being as independent as before!
On Monday, I got to go to an afternoon therapy class with him and I spoke to his speech therapist. She is the coordinator of all his therapies and she said he will be finished in 2 more weeks. I could see Paul STARING at her as she told us this. I knew how disappointed he was to hear it will go that much longer. He really doesn't like rehab. He told me later that he knows that it must be doing something for him and he trusts God is leading him along, but he sure wishes it would have ended by now. The only therapist he actually had a repore with, is now training a student and Paul doesn't have that same connection with her. He said he will try hard complain about rehab as much, since he knows we are only trying to help him get better. He still needs help with his short term memory and will for a long time. They are working on helping him learn to schedule his time by charting out the next day's schedule and following the list he makes. At the end of the day we are to get him to talk about his day to help him remember all that he did. That is his homework for this weekend. There are 4 different categories that he will need to pick 2 things from each and fit it into his daily routine, along with his daily grooming, eating and sleeping times. They are activities that will include his cognitive, physical and occupational skills. He will also be going to work 2 days a week until he is done with therapy, then he will go to work each day for 4 hours. He will be able to go to Mass 2 times a week on the days that Jerry is here to help him. This week, he went to work on Tuesday and stayed 3 1/2 hours. He hopefully will get another few hours in on Friday.
Paul went out to eat for lunch today with his rehab group. Not really a new experience for Paul. He loved going out to eat before the accident and he still loves it. Wednesday night, he asked what was for dinner and when I mentioned that I was going to use what had been left from the night before, he looked at Jerry and asked if he wanted to go get something to eat. Jon and I were very tired, so we stayed home and Jerry took Paul out. It was actually a wonderful break for us and we enjoyed a quiet meal. Mike was busy working on a project for school and had gone with some friends for a very late afternoon meal. It was so much like how it used to be. Paul out with friends, Mike doing his own thing and Jon and I enjoying the quiet. Then Thursday, I planned on going to my women't prayer group again after 7 months and that is always a night the guys go out to eat. Paul was again very glad it was a 'dinner out' night.
We have an appointment with the opthamologist on Monday and the ear doctor October 2nd. I am remaining hopeful that someone will be able to get some of the problems solved soon, concerning Paul's eye/orbital issues. After our appointment on Monday, I will know better when to schedule the appointment with the neurosurgeon we heard about who is in Charlotte, NC. We will continue our search for the doctor who can find the answers to Paul's hydrocephalus problems and the relief of his headaches.
Once rehab is done, we will be back to seeing all these different doctors and coordinating any possible surgeries. If possible, we would like to have it done by the holiday season. We can then set our sights on attaining the goal of getting Paul back into college for a class or 2 by the summer semester - wouldn't that be just terrific? A fine goal to be sure!
Today was the feast of the Exultation of the Cross. Another reminder about what Fr. Peek told Paul on Sunday. From the Magnificat daily prayers, it is explained "the event of the cross and Resurrection abides and draws everything toward life". We exalt Christ's cross whenever we freely take it up, filled with the certainty that the ultimate meaning and fulfillment which we crave in life comes to us through this unending event. St. Leo the Great says "the sign of the corss makes kings of all those reborn in Christ." As I read all this today, I thought about the beautiful example Paul has been to our family. He starts each day out with a prayer asking for God's help and strength. He keeps close to Jesus each day in prayerfulness, asking for help with relief from his pain, yet never displaying anger about the 'cross' he has right now. And he remains patient as he waits for God's will to be done. I find myself praying for that same strength that Paul displays. A few days ago, I was helping Michael find a baby picture of himself that he needed for his senior yearbook and we were having a great time remembering past events as we looked at the pictures. Then slowly, the sadness started to creep in as I came across one picture after another of Paul's beautiful smiling face and his interactions with his brothers. I wanted Paul to be that free spirited kid again - to have a 'full' life again. The next day, I was looking for the pictures to post on the blog and Paul was behind me. As I was scrolling through all the pictures we have online, I came across some of him from the summer before his accident. Again, that bright smile and face looking back at me. I started to cry and Paul put his hand on my shoulder and apologized for the pain he had cause me. I told him that I just wanted him to be free of pain and wanted him to have his sight and I felt so helpless. He hugged me and said "God knows what He is doing. He needs me to do this for a while longer." Paul makes a lot of jokes during the day and will have some cynical retorts about rehab and other things, but when he talks about God, he could not be more serious. He speaks with such a calming tone and I find myself filled with peace and faith that God really does know. I can't describe in words how awesome some of these moments with Paul can be - but he keeps leading us to greater acceptance and a desire to be more holy.
Jesus, we trust in you.
God bless,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero
Friday, September 08, 2006
Pictures, Pictures
Paul handling the trash.This means his name is back on the Saturday chore list!
Standard transmission - Not a Problem!
Paul walking his dog without any assistance or support needed!
Paul and Abby taking it easy.
Jerry and Paul enjoy the lunch Paul cooked in occupational therapy.
Paul prepares the vegetables
Paul had to set the table after cooking the lunch.
Paul cooking the hamburgers
You Can't Keep a Good Dog Down
Friday, September 8
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense. You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what He has promised."
My niece, Kelly Fidero, sent me a book of scripture passages that are organized into different categories. After our appointment yesterday with the plastic surgeon, I came home and had to open it. I looked up passages pertaining to PATIENCE. I did this because I am most certain this is a virtue that God is still waiting for me to learn!!!
Yesterday, I was left the plastic surgeon's with more disappointment and a sense that no one seems to really care about my son and his recovery. I get the feeling they look at him and think to themselves, "Why are you bothering?" In fact, the doctor said that with Paul not being able to see out of his eye, he was not sure there was a reason to do any surgery. Paul corrected him and said he can see some things. It didn't seem to matter though. This doctor wanted to know who was in charge of Paul's overall recovery. I told him that was a very good question indeed, and it was one we were trying to find an answer to. He asked if Paul had seen an opthamologist and I said he has seen 3 that have been referred by other doctors we have seen. He wanted to know what their game plan was. I said the only thing told to us is that Paul should have a gold-weight surgically implanted in his eyelid and that he needed reconstructive surgery because the first go round was a 'botch-job." Then we were sent on our way with no other directions. We did not have the gold-weight implanted because they could not find one heavy enough to hold the lid down without having to stitch part of his eyelid closed. We didn't want to do that. Our hope has been that he will be able to have his nerves repair to the extent he will be able to avoid having it surgically closed. Paul's eye tears enough now that his cornea stays moist enough to stay healthy and we use a strip of tape to close it each day, which works well. We take the tape off 2 times a day to let Paul excercise his eyelid by his attempts to open and close it. Where it used to take him minutes to close it once, he can open and close it a couple of times within 5-10 seconds. If he had had it closed by surgery, he would not be able to excercise it, which is important if he hopes to recover any use of his eyelid. So anyway, the plastic surgeon said that he could not do anything for Paul because he thinks that the reason Paul's eye is down and to the left is because of weak muscles and an opthamologist would do that repair. I told him that actually we were told that the socket was never repaired effectively and that is why his eye is out of the socket just a bit more than the other one. He thinks it is a muslce issue. He told us to check back with our opthamologist at Emory -the one who said we needed to have reconstructive surgery.............sigh.) I asked if he had the name of a good opthamologist he would recommend and he said he was not familiar with any opthamologists. We don't want to use the one at Emory because he seemed way too interested in inserting some type of spring-loaded mechanism that would force Paul's eyelid closed and it has a high rate of complications requiring possibly numerous revisions. Other than that, he wasn't going to do anything else. I cannot in good conscience subject Paul to any more 'devices' that have numerous complications. He has one. His shunt. With no doctor who has been able to solve that problem.
We left there and I no sooner closed the door of my car than the tears began flowing. Really flowing. All of my disappointment in the last few appointments with these 'specialists' came pouring out. Paul sat quietly, then said simply, "God knows what we need. We just have to wait." I took a deep breath, agreed with him as I hugged him and said that I would stop the flow of tears so my own eyes could see to drive home. I then laughed about the fact that at least one good thing came from this appointment. They had to retape Paul's eye after examing it and they provided these great little tape strips that worked really well. And it only took one of them to hold Paul's eye down very nicely. Poor Paul -after much expense and also pain involved, I had finally finished my experiments and found a tape that was perforated and could be torn very easily into thin strips. I have been carefully tearing them each morning to the right size and using 4 of these to hold down his eyelid. He has had to lay there for about 15 minutes while I 'fix' his eye for the day - gently removing the old strips of tape, putting gel in under his upper eyelid, wiping away any excess, then painstakingly afixing each strip of tape to his eyelid. These new strips are ready to go, have a lot less adhesive on the back (for easier and painless removal, YAHOO) and it only takes one of them. It is wider than the ones I was tearing which is okay because it is not as sticky on the back - that means it won't pull out the eyelashes when removed. I had made mine thin to keep that from happening.
So anyway, that is why I looked up the word 'patience' when I was thumbing through this new book. With patience, we will get there and there will be greater peace in our hearts. Since we are back to square one with no action being taken, I believe we will just go back to square one and see the very first opthamologist that worked on Paul. He will know the history, and he was very helpful. He was the one who told me at the onset that if we ever hoped to save Paul's eye, we needed to tend to it religiously. That turned out to be great advice. I'm going back for more of his advice and go with my own instincts this time. That is, after I sit down and patiently pray about it over the weekend.
Paul has had 3 really awesome days. He is full of life, action and jokes. He has not had to lay down like before, just a few quick naps and he is up again. His spirits have been high and he has even done some jobs around here willingly. I caught on camera the one where he took out the trash..............I know his brothers will be shocked to see that picture! He is remembering so much more also. Jerry, who takes him around on Wednesday's and Friday's sent me an email to let me know that Paul even remembered who ran against each other in the last 3 presidential elections. So I decided to test him and asked him why the Civil War took place and he said there were a number of reasons and told them to me. He talks a little more seriously about his future and other topics. I have even found him reading the newspaper - and not the comic section........smile. He will ask questions about what he read. in regards to his therapy, he does his homework quickly and said he surprised his speech therapist by doing all the assignments that weren't even due for another day.
He still makes me laugh every day and I do love being with him. His desire to pray is so strong and it keeps me on my prayerful pathway. We went to St. Stephen's yesterday after the appointment, so we could thank God for His constant help and also to ask for guidance as we move forward. Paul sat in the front pew and prayed out loud. Afterward, he sat quietly for a moment and then said, "I know this will sound crazy Jesus, but I have to ask one more important favor. Please, if dogs are allowed to go to heaven, please make sure Abby goes. I know dogs don't possess souls, but since God made them, I am hopeful they can go to heaven too." As we walked out I told Paul that it just might be that Abby already HAS a place in heaven reserved and that this whole affair was to make sure WE got to meet her there! Paul laughed and said, "Than it is well worth it. I love my dog."
Big News - Paul passed his second driving test. Jerry told me that he let Paul drive his car which has a manual transmission. He said Paul had perfect coordination and they didn't stall out or lurch once. He said he was so excited watching Paul do it so well. It will be awhile before Paul will be cleared to drive again and it's not like he or any of us are pushing for it, but it is good to know he isn't afraid or incapable of getting back to it.
Today is the birthday of the Blessed Mother. May we all continue to the courage and strength and the PATIENCE to keep saying "yes" as she did in her life. May our prayers be lovingly brought to Jesus by our Mother in heaven.
From today's readings - (IS 61:10)With delight I rejoice in the Lord. Though I trusted in your mercy, let my heart rejoice in your salvation. Let me sing of the Lord, "He has been good to me."
Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, deserving of all praise; from you rose the sun of justice, Christ our Lord.
(Cor 8:28) Brothers and sisters; we know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense. You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what He has promised."
My niece, Kelly Fidero, sent me a book of scripture passages that are organized into different categories. After our appointment yesterday with the plastic surgeon, I came home and had to open it. I looked up passages pertaining to PATIENCE. I did this because I am most certain this is a virtue that God is still waiting for me to learn!!!
Yesterday, I was left the plastic surgeon's with more disappointment and a sense that no one seems to really care about my son and his recovery. I get the feeling they look at him and think to themselves, "Why are you bothering?" In fact, the doctor said that with Paul not being able to see out of his eye, he was not sure there was a reason to do any surgery. Paul corrected him and said he can see some things. It didn't seem to matter though. This doctor wanted to know who was in charge of Paul's overall recovery. I told him that was a very good question indeed, and it was one we were trying to find an answer to. He asked if Paul had seen an opthamologist and I said he has seen 3 that have been referred by other doctors we have seen. He wanted to know what their game plan was. I said the only thing told to us is that Paul should have a gold-weight surgically implanted in his eyelid and that he needed reconstructive surgery because the first go round was a 'botch-job." Then we were sent on our way with no other directions. We did not have the gold-weight implanted because they could not find one heavy enough to hold the lid down without having to stitch part of his eyelid closed. We didn't want to do that. Our hope has been that he will be able to have his nerves repair to the extent he will be able to avoid having it surgically closed. Paul's eye tears enough now that his cornea stays moist enough to stay healthy and we use a strip of tape to close it each day, which works well. We take the tape off 2 times a day to let Paul excercise his eyelid by his attempts to open and close it. Where it used to take him minutes to close it once, he can open and close it a couple of times within 5-10 seconds. If he had had it closed by surgery, he would not be able to excercise it, which is important if he hopes to recover any use of his eyelid. So anyway, the plastic surgeon said that he could not do anything for Paul because he thinks that the reason Paul's eye is down and to the left is because of weak muscles and an opthamologist would do that repair. I told him that actually we were told that the socket was never repaired effectively and that is why his eye is out of the socket just a bit more than the other one. He thinks it is a muslce issue. He told us to check back with our opthamologist at Emory -the one who said we needed to have reconstructive surgery.............sigh.) I asked if he had the name of a good opthamologist he would recommend and he said he was not familiar with any opthamologists. We don't want to use the one at Emory because he seemed way too interested in inserting some type of spring-loaded mechanism that would force Paul's eyelid closed and it has a high rate of complications requiring possibly numerous revisions. Other than that, he wasn't going to do anything else. I cannot in good conscience subject Paul to any more 'devices' that have numerous complications. He has one. His shunt. With no doctor who has been able to solve that problem.
We left there and I no sooner closed the door of my car than the tears began flowing. Really flowing. All of my disappointment in the last few appointments with these 'specialists' came pouring out. Paul sat quietly, then said simply, "God knows what we need. We just have to wait." I took a deep breath, agreed with him as I hugged him and said that I would stop the flow of tears so my own eyes could see to drive home. I then laughed about the fact that at least one good thing came from this appointment. They had to retape Paul's eye after examing it and they provided these great little tape strips that worked really well. And it only took one of them to hold Paul's eye down very nicely. Poor Paul -after much expense and also pain involved, I had finally finished my experiments and found a tape that was perforated and could be torn very easily into thin strips. I have been carefully tearing them each morning to the right size and using 4 of these to hold down his eyelid. He has had to lay there for about 15 minutes while I 'fix' his eye for the day - gently removing the old strips of tape, putting gel in under his upper eyelid, wiping away any excess, then painstakingly afixing each strip of tape to his eyelid. These new strips are ready to go, have a lot less adhesive on the back (for easier and painless removal, YAHOO) and it only takes one of them. It is wider than the ones I was tearing which is okay because it is not as sticky on the back - that means it won't pull out the eyelashes when removed. I had made mine thin to keep that from happening.
So anyway, that is why I looked up the word 'patience' when I was thumbing through this new book. With patience, we will get there and there will be greater peace in our hearts. Since we are back to square one with no action being taken, I believe we will just go back to square one and see the very first opthamologist that worked on Paul. He will know the history, and he was very helpful. He was the one who told me at the onset that if we ever hoped to save Paul's eye, we needed to tend to it religiously. That turned out to be great advice. I'm going back for more of his advice and go with my own instincts this time. That is, after I sit down and patiently pray about it over the weekend.
Paul has had 3 really awesome days. He is full of life, action and jokes. He has not had to lay down like before, just a few quick naps and he is up again. His spirits have been high and he has even done some jobs around here willingly. I caught on camera the one where he took out the trash..............I know his brothers will be shocked to see that picture! He is remembering so much more also. Jerry, who takes him around on Wednesday's and Friday's sent me an email to let me know that Paul even remembered who ran against each other in the last 3 presidential elections. So I decided to test him and asked him why the Civil War took place and he said there were a number of reasons and told them to me. He talks a little more seriously about his future and other topics. I have even found him reading the newspaper - and not the comic section........smile. He will ask questions about what he read. in regards to his therapy, he does his homework quickly and said he surprised his speech therapist by doing all the assignments that weren't even due for another day.
He still makes me laugh every day and I do love being with him. His desire to pray is so strong and it keeps me on my prayerful pathway. We went to St. Stephen's yesterday after the appointment, so we could thank God for His constant help and also to ask for guidance as we move forward. Paul sat in the front pew and prayed out loud. Afterward, he sat quietly for a moment and then said, "I know this will sound crazy Jesus, but I have to ask one more important favor. Please, if dogs are allowed to go to heaven, please make sure Abby goes. I know dogs don't possess souls, but since God made them, I am hopeful they can go to heaven too." As we walked out I told Paul that it just might be that Abby already HAS a place in heaven reserved and that this whole affair was to make sure WE got to meet her there! Paul laughed and said, "Than it is well worth it. I love my dog."
Big News - Paul passed his second driving test. Jerry told me that he let Paul drive his car which has a manual transmission. He said Paul had perfect coordination and they didn't stall out or lurch once. He said he was so excited watching Paul do it so well. It will be awhile before Paul will be cleared to drive again and it's not like he or any of us are pushing for it, but it is good to know he isn't afraid or incapable of getting back to it.
Today is the birthday of the Blessed Mother. May we all continue to the courage and strength and the PATIENCE to keep saying "yes" as she did in her life. May our prayers be lovingly brought to Jesus by our Mother in heaven.
From today's readings - (IS 61:10)With delight I rejoice in the Lord. Though I trusted in your mercy, let my heart rejoice in your salvation. Let me sing of the Lord, "He has been good to me."
Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, deserving of all praise; from you rose the sun of justice, Christ our Lord.
(Cor 8:28) Brothers and sisters; we know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Hope Floats.........
Tuesday, September 5
Paul continues with his therapy, but he is not a happy camper. I was hoping he would write something about it. When I suggested he write about his cooking class on Friday, he said he would really feel like an idiot. He feels that they think he is stupid and since a lot of the therapy is of no interest to him, he dreads the days he has therapy. He gets about 5-6 assignments as homework (his least favorite part) and has to keep a daily log of things he has done. The assignments are a combination of math, budgeting, deductive reasoning problems, comprehensive reading skills, etc. He is capable of doing them all, he takes a bit longer to get them done though, than he normally would have before. His penmanship was never really great, and it looks about the same now, except you can tell he really doesn't care about these assignments by the way he writes the answers. I could not even read one answer and asked him to write it more clearly. He wrote it perfectly clearly and very neatly, but told me the whole thing is ridiculous. The problem is that they have not found an area of high interest to Paul. He was always that way. His 5th grade teacher said that one day Paul would find something that would really trip his trigger and he would take off. She said she wished she had been the teacher who had been able to discover it, so she could witness him blazing upward and soaring. Of course, it turned out to be his music. I am going to suggest they do more in that area if possible so that he might at least enjoy some of the therapy he is receiving.
We have pictures of him cooking last Friday, but have encountered technical difficulties getting them off the camera. Hopefully we will have them on here Wednesday.
I spent some time this weekend talking to Paul about whether he feels overwhelmed with all that has happened to him. I asked him if he felt like he was suffering from depression or was unusually sad or angry about his life. He said that he wasn't and knew God would help him with his future. God knew what he intended for Paul and he would pray about it so that he would know what it was God wanted. He said it very matter of factly and simply. I know that the rehab department has a full day of testing coming up for Paul to evaluate his levels of cognitive abilities, and also a battery of psychological tests to conduct. I am prayerful that they can zero in on the specific areas that Paul will need to have additional help with, so that we can focus on those and help him over come the bigger difficulties that are there. I have to admit that the therapy is a bit less challenging than I thought it would be. I was hoping to see them work more intensely on his physical needs, since he is still very weak on his left side. We were thinking that we may have to find a personal trainer who can work with Paul a couple of times a week to help him advance more quickly.
This past weekend I received an email from another family who read my request for names of good neurosurgeons on the Hydrocephalus Associations notepad. The father of a young boy told us that they had gone to a number of specialists at big name hospitals and universities and were referred a number of times to a doctor in Charlotte NC. He is supposed to be a very dedicated neurosurgeon who is known for taking the time to find answers. He specializes in adult and pediatric hydrocephalus. I am going to be contacting his office today to see if he can be of any help in truly determining why the ventricles in Paul's brain will not go down and if that is the source of his headaches, since Paul did not have headaches before he developed hydrocephalus. Also, I don't believe the medicine he is on is helping at all. He asks us often when he can get something that will actually 'do' something for his headaches. Or asks why he has to bother taking pills that don't make any difference in the level of pain. I just feel like we haven't gotten the correct answer to Paul's specific problems. I am not ready to accept that this is as good as it will get for Paul. Something inside me tells me to keep looking. I have asked God to show me more clearly the way, if there is a possibility of greater recovery concerning Paul's headaches. If there is someone out there who can help, place them in our pathway. When the referrals cease and we have no answer, then I will stop my search. But we have this new referral and also plan on making an appointment with Dr. Tanner who was suggested to us by the young lady at AMU who posted that suggestion.
Tuesday PM
I picked Paul up at therapy today and he was in a great mood. He said that his recreational therapy today was playing the piano. He said it was a lot of fun and he is supposed to bring some music with him tomorrow. He said 2 of his therapists told him they have really enjoyed his humor and he was glad about that.
We got home and then he said he had a headache. Yesterday, he was able to visit for a long time with his friend Susan and her family and he hung in there for 2 hours. He did not ask to go home or even mention a headache. When we got home, he wanted to go lay down. We do wonder if some of the times he has headaches, or if he just needs to retreat. Probably a bit of both. I am excited to see how much he enjoys playing piano again tomorrow. I am not so sure Paul isn't interested in music, as it is more a problem for him remembering how to play and it is to overwhelming. As with everything about this accident.........time will tell.
Today, Paul was talking about his accident and how it might have happened. He was also listing what complications he still has to overcome. He ended it by saying that all he has to do is wait for his eyesight and hearing to come back, which will happen . He said it very plainly and with simple belief. It reinforced my hope, that is for sure!
"I am sure I shall see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living.
Hope in him, hold firm and take heart. Hope in the Lord!" (Psalm 27)
Rejoicing in the Lord,
Jon and Rebecca
Paul continues with his therapy, but he is not a happy camper. I was hoping he would write something about it. When I suggested he write about his cooking class on Friday, he said he would really feel like an idiot. He feels that they think he is stupid and since a lot of the therapy is of no interest to him, he dreads the days he has therapy. He gets about 5-6 assignments as homework (his least favorite part) and has to keep a daily log of things he has done. The assignments are a combination of math, budgeting, deductive reasoning problems, comprehensive reading skills, etc. He is capable of doing them all, he takes a bit longer to get them done though, than he normally would have before. His penmanship was never really great, and it looks about the same now, except you can tell he really doesn't care about these assignments by the way he writes the answers. I could not even read one answer and asked him to write it more clearly. He wrote it perfectly clearly and very neatly, but told me the whole thing is ridiculous. The problem is that they have not found an area of high interest to Paul. He was always that way. His 5th grade teacher said that one day Paul would find something that would really trip his trigger and he would take off. She said she wished she had been the teacher who had been able to discover it, so she could witness him blazing upward and soaring. Of course, it turned out to be his music. I am going to suggest they do more in that area if possible so that he might at least enjoy some of the therapy he is receiving.
We have pictures of him cooking last Friday, but have encountered technical difficulties getting them off the camera. Hopefully we will have them on here Wednesday.
I spent some time this weekend talking to Paul about whether he feels overwhelmed with all that has happened to him. I asked him if he felt like he was suffering from depression or was unusually sad or angry about his life. He said that he wasn't and knew God would help him with his future. God knew what he intended for Paul and he would pray about it so that he would know what it was God wanted. He said it very matter of factly and simply. I know that the rehab department has a full day of testing coming up for Paul to evaluate his levels of cognitive abilities, and also a battery of psychological tests to conduct. I am prayerful that they can zero in on the specific areas that Paul will need to have additional help with, so that we can focus on those and help him over come the bigger difficulties that are there. I have to admit that the therapy is a bit less challenging than I thought it would be. I was hoping to see them work more intensely on his physical needs, since he is still very weak on his left side. We were thinking that we may have to find a personal trainer who can work with Paul a couple of times a week to help him advance more quickly.
This past weekend I received an email from another family who read my request for names of good neurosurgeons on the Hydrocephalus Associations notepad. The father of a young boy told us that they had gone to a number of specialists at big name hospitals and universities and were referred a number of times to a doctor in Charlotte NC. He is supposed to be a very dedicated neurosurgeon who is known for taking the time to find answers. He specializes in adult and pediatric hydrocephalus. I am going to be contacting his office today to see if he can be of any help in truly determining why the ventricles in Paul's brain will not go down and if that is the source of his headaches, since Paul did not have headaches before he developed hydrocephalus. Also, I don't believe the medicine he is on is helping at all. He asks us often when he can get something that will actually 'do' something for his headaches. Or asks why he has to bother taking pills that don't make any difference in the level of pain. I just feel like we haven't gotten the correct answer to Paul's specific problems. I am not ready to accept that this is as good as it will get for Paul. Something inside me tells me to keep looking. I have asked God to show me more clearly the way, if there is a possibility of greater recovery concerning Paul's headaches. If there is someone out there who can help, place them in our pathway. When the referrals cease and we have no answer, then I will stop my search. But we have this new referral and also plan on making an appointment with Dr. Tanner who was suggested to us by the young lady at AMU who posted that suggestion.
Tuesday PM
I picked Paul up at therapy today and he was in a great mood. He said that his recreational therapy today was playing the piano. He said it was a lot of fun and he is supposed to bring some music with him tomorrow. He said 2 of his therapists told him they have really enjoyed his humor and he was glad about that.
We got home and then he said he had a headache. Yesterday, he was able to visit for a long time with his friend Susan and her family and he hung in there for 2 hours. He did not ask to go home or even mention a headache. When we got home, he wanted to go lay down. We do wonder if some of the times he has headaches, or if he just needs to retreat. Probably a bit of both. I am excited to see how much he enjoys playing piano again tomorrow. I am not so sure Paul isn't interested in music, as it is more a problem for him remembering how to play and it is to overwhelming. As with everything about this accident.........time will tell.
Today, Paul was talking about his accident and how it might have happened. He was also listing what complications he still has to overcome. He ended it by saying that all he has to do is wait for his eyesight and hearing to come back, which will happen . He said it very plainly and with simple belief. It reinforced my hope, that is for sure!
"I am sure I shall see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living.
Hope in him, hold firm and take heart. Hope in the Lord!" (Psalm 27)
Rejoicing in the Lord,
Jon and Rebecca
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