All I Want To Do Is Dream

I wanted to make sure we completed one week before I wrote about the success we had with a little project we dreamed up. We are always thinking of ways to help move Paul along on his road to recovery. We were talking about whether he would ever be able to live on his own someday and of course pray that it will happen for him. Since he has had so many surgeries, which tend to set him back in the efforts to help him become more independent, we haven't gotten very far in this area. He waits for us to pretty much tell him what to do next. He had started to make fairly good progress before this last round of surgeries and it was disappointing to have to start over. But, something really positive has come from starting over.

In our discussions of how we need to push him towards accepting responsibility for some of his daily needs, we talked about how Paul gets so excited when he mentions how he hopes to get back to work for longer periods of time and that he wants to earn enough money to maybe pay Jerry for rent and be a roommate with him. He loves being at Jerry's house and he had even started to stay over night on Tuesdays and Thursdays since Jerry is off on Wednesdays and Fridays. (Jerry's generosity knows no bounds!) Paul always looks so forward to these nights and we figured it is because it must give him a sense of independence. He actually gets his things ready and waits for Jerry to come over around 7:-7:30 PM. Jon, Jerry and I were talking about all this and then we came to the idea about letting Paul stay over on a night where Jerry would have to leave for work (around 5:30 AM) and we would see if Paul could get himself up and be ready for Judy to take him to Mass. So we tried it and on the first effort, I stopped by to check on him around 7:00 AM as I was coming home from morning Mass. Paul was up and told me he had fed his dog, had let her out and he then was getting himself a little something to eat for breakfast. He told me what he had to do next and what time he had to be ready for Judy (who lives right next door..................very convenient). I hugged him and left and he had even packed his lunch the night before and was ready with that. The only thing we noticed at day's end was that he still has trouble remembering what time he took his Advil and he calls Jon, Jerry or me to ask if we remembered. He knows he can't take any before 4 hours are up, so he does still have to get help remembering that. It is hard because it changes each day because it depends on when he asks for the first dose of Advil each day.

That was last week that we tried the experiment. It went so well that Paul asked us if he could try to do this every day. So we let Paul give it his best effort and he succeeded for the whole week. He is never alone for very long and Jerry made sure Paul was getting his showers/shaving done at night, so the only thing Paul has to do is get himself up, get breakfast and get dressed. Someone is then with him at 8:45 AM and his day begins. He put in a full week and to top it all off.............made it to Six Flags Amusement Park on Friday night with Michael, Jerry, James (who came home this past Friday) and James friend, Shannon. It was CNN night at Six Flags, so they all got to go and get in free. Paul was not allowed to go on any of the rides, but he had a lot of fun because Jerry's friend, Ben, brought his family and his two daughters were so kind towards Paul. Paul had met Claire and Emily before and they both really enjoyed meeting Paul. So he was looking forward to seeing them again. The weather is what made the evening come to an end. A really bad thunderstorm finally closed down the rides, so they were all home around 9:30 PM. A booming end to a terrific week! Mother's Day was the most special one I can remember. The cards from the men in my life were so wonderful and each one was the perfect respresentation of my relationship with them. We went to Mass and then prayed the Divine Mercy afterwards. It was a wonderful start to the day. Then Paul told me the most amazing thing. I will preface it with telling you that on Saturday night, I woke up late in the night, around 12:30 AM and I went downstairs. For some reason I thought to stop in the front room and pray for my family. I got a pillow and knelt in front of the Blessed Mother statue (my knees can't take that hardwood floor!) and I thanked God for the blessings of my children and my husband on this Mother's Day. I prayed so hard for Paul's healing and thanked God for the success he had had. I prayed to St. Charbel, a saint I had learned about on Thursday because of my friend Lucilla. Her oldest son had died in a car crash 2 years ago on Christmas and her second son had suffered a brain injury and the ability to walk in a car accident 6 months later. She is part of our women's prayer group and they had been at my house on Thursday. She brought a first class relic of St. Charbel and told how she was praying to him for a healing for her son Gabriel. (Paul prays for him each day and sees him at Mass on Sundays sometimes. They both make a point of hugging each other.) Lucilla told me she wanted us to have the relic for a few weeks so we could pray for Paul and let him touch the relic. So I touched the relic for Paul, and also the one of St. John Neumann that we have and asked for them to pray for Paul, along with John Paul II and St. Therese. Then I went to bed.

So, after Mass on Sunday, Paul told me he knew he had slept the night before. I asked him excitedly if he had actually felt the moment of waking up. He has not felt 'sleep' for about a year. He said he knows he must be sleeping because he would not be able to stay up all day. But he never feels 'sleep'. He has what is referred to as 'seamless transition'. He feels like his eyes are always open because that is what he remembers. He is looking at the ceiling when he falls asleep and he is looking at the ceiling when he wakes, but he doesn't get the sensation of waking up. It is very frustrating for him and he always prays that God will let him regain that sensation. He hates not ever feeling like he has just woken up. So, in answer to my question, he said, "No, but I remember my dream." It is the first dream he has remembered and he said it made him really happy remembering it. Not only because it let him know for sure he had slept, but because of what the dream was. In his dream, he said he was at St. Stephen's. He said he was asked to come up to the altar. He was asked to pray for a man who was in a wheelchair. Paul knows this man by sight only and so he could not tell us his name. At first I thought it was Gabriel, but Paul said, "No, it is the older man who has black hair and he can't move because he is in an electric wheelchair and he can barely move his arms. " I then remembered the man he spoke about and so Paul continued. He said that he prayed to God to help heal this man and then Paul leaned over to hug him. The man raised his arms up to hug Paul back. Paul said it was so wonderful because the man had not been able to move his arms very much before, but in this dream the man could lift his arms up and hug Paul. Paul said it was a really awesome dream and he was very happy about what happened in the dream and the fact he COULD REMEMBER IT !

He called Jerry after we got home so he could know about it too and I called Jon, my son to share it with him. We were all really happy for Paul. What a great FIRST dream to remember!!

Later in the day, we had a brunch at our house for my sister Bev, my mother and me. It was so much fun. My niece and her husband, Becca and Zack, were there and they had a big bag of baby clothes they had purchased the day before. They brought it in to show us and Paul decided to be the commentator. He was hilarious as he reached into the bag and pulled out the outfits one by one and made some funny remark. He had all of us laughing so hard as he gave his own "Comedy Central' routine. It was a truly blessed day for the mothers present!

To end the day, my husband and sons joined me in a rosary of thanksgiving for all the great blessings our family has received this last year. I prayed for every blessed woman who has logged onto this site and included your intentions in my rosary. While I am late with this wish, I hope all the moms had a wonderful day yesterday. May God continue to bless all that you do.

May God bless everyone of you in any area you may need healing.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca