The Way The Ball Bounces

Since Michael is the last son to turn 18 in our home, we wanted to make sure it was really special. After flying Jon and James in for a surprise 'brothers weekend' we also had a surprise birthday party planned on Saturday night. I have to be totally honest when I say that I am not sure who benefitted most from this past weekend! Any mother can relate to how joyful it is when all the children come home at the same time. I mostly sat back and just watched the fun.

Friday I came home for lunch so I could visit with them for a short while. The boys were over at Jerry's house and decided to play basketball. The teams were James/Paul and Jon/Michael. Paul even took off his sun glasses so he could play better and not worry about them falling off his face. He took some practice shots and surprised us with a couple that were 'all net'. His movements weren't exactly agile, but he was able to keep up with the game. He may move more slowly than his brothers, but his effort was huge. At one point, Michael got the rebound and forgot to take it back to the end of the driveway before shooting for a basket. It went in and Paul was the first one to comment it didn't count. Michael didn't know about the rule and questioned Paul about why his basket didn't count and Paul explained that if you caught a rebound, you had to take it back to the end of the driveway and then you could come forward to make the basket. It shows Paul's mind is working very quickly, just his movements lag behind a bit. ( Nothing like brotherly competition to bring the best out in Paul!) I was taking a bunch of pictures so I could share the moment with Jon when he got home from work. This was the first time Paul did something more than a short walk since his surgery. In fact, it is the first time he has done anything where he had to jog around! He played for about 15-20 minutes and then had to stop because of his head pain. That was a disappointment, but this sport event was such a huge thing for Paul. Absolutely awesome!

Saturday was the surprise party and the guys went down to CNN for a private tour with Jerry, while Jon and I rushed to get the house decorated and food ready for the party. They kept Michael busy until about 6:30 and brought him home. Everyone's cars were parked elswhere, so there were no outward signs there was a party going on! We had about 30 people over and I can't tell you how awesome it was to have all that joy and laughter in my home again. Michael was surprised, which was amazing since there had been 2 different times that I thought he might know. If he did know, he managed to keep that a secret! We went outside at about 9:00 PM and Jon (brother) and Matt Velker lit the rest of our fireworks that we still had from when Paul came home from his last hospital stay. This time, the neighbors were at our house, so we did a bunch, knowing it would not disturb their peace and quiet. It was a great time and ended way too soon.

Jon had to leave Sunday morning at 5:00 AM, so we were basically exhausted on Sunday. We had fun going through the pictures that were taken and sharing our stories about the party. For the first time in a long time, I actually took an afternoon nap........................what a great gift from God! Paul's head was hurting pretty bad on Sunday, so he too was down for the day. He took a couple of walks in an effort to feel better, but it didn't help a lot.

Monday he went back to work for a couple of hours and again yesterday. He was going to be picked up by James, but at 1:00 PM told James to wait another 45 minutes, as Paul was feeling good. He had a really good day yesterday, so I am hopeful that the new setting on his shunt may be working. It takes some days for it to actually cycle around and become effective. He even called his personal trainer to see if he could start back with his excercise program. The most amazing thing happened last night around 8:30. He came into my room to get some of the things we use to tend to his eye, as he was going to spend the night at Jerry's house, along with James. He asked me where we put all his things from college. I asked him what exactly was he looking for and he said he wanted all his music. He wanted to start looking at it and also the notebooks from school. He said he needs to get going on getting his life back, to get started on being more like a 22 yr. old. I told him I was happy he had reached this stage of awareness and that we would go through all the boxes that were stored away, that had so many of his dorm things in them. He also said that he wants to get more serious about his job, that he would like to work more so that he can get better at it. He even said that he hopes to marry and be able to provide for a family. I told him that was a fine goal to be sure and to keep praying for God to lead him down the road intended. He said he would never lose that part - the praying to God. He knows allowed him to live after the accident and he is so thankful to God for that.

While he was talking to me about all of this, there was a new look to his face and his eye. There was almost an urgency to him while he was talking about wanting to get his life back. I have wondered so often if what we were seeing was as good as it was going to get. It's not that I was stressed over it - Jon and I have said often that if we have to take care of Paul the rest of his life, so be it. But to hear Paul speak about trying to get his life back, I realized how much hope I really do have for him. I hope and pray for Paul to have a life where he can participate in so many more ways. What he has done so far has totally exceeded our expectations and we are so thankful that God has allowed us to be a witness to His hand at work in so visible a way. I have to tell you, watching Paul helps me be so much more thankful for what I have and can do in my own life. He has helped me become so much more loving and caring in my interactions with everyone who comes down my pathway. His uninhibited ways of noticing and reaching out to others has opened my eyes to so many more ways we can be servants of God. This past weekend, the Saturday morning Mass was for Michael. All of the family was there and I was beyond joyful, sitting with my sons, husband and Jerry. Paul sat with us only until he noticed the woman in our parish whose husband died while Paul was in the hospital. Paul told us then that he could not do much for her, other to make sure she never sat alone in the pew. I watched him as he sat down and waited to see if he would notice that Juanita was alone. It took only about 6 seconds for him to notice and he looked over at me. I knew he was going to tell me he was going to leave us and go over to Juanita, so I just nodded my head before he could say anything. He smiled and took my hand and squeezed it. Then he left and went to Juanita and gave her a big hug as he sat by her. On Sunday morning, I was running 10 minutes behind Jon and the boys, so they went to Mass in Jon's car. I came to sit by them and before I could ask where Paul was, Jon just nodded over to where Juanita has always sat. There was Paul by her side, with his arm around her. When it came time for the Sign of Peace at Mass, Jon and I glanced over to Paul and we watched how Paul made sure not to miss anyone around him as he shook their hand and wished them peace. Receiving the Body of Christ is what Paul loves most, but second to that is when he can wish everyone around him peace. He has even crossed the aisle to make sure to hug someone he knows really well, so that he doesn't miss the opportunity to let them know how important they are to him. There was one morning Mass, I was later told, where Fr. Paddy patiently waited for Paul to get back to his seat after crossing over to the other side to hug 2 of the women who have helped care for him. The people in our parish have been so kind and patient with Paul during these last 15 months - it is no wonder Paul wants to hug them all! They are truly a CITY OF GOD. We had to explain to Paul that he should basically keep the hugs and handshakes to the people around him and then when Mass is over, complete the task with everyone outside of the sanctuary............smile. His desire to simply love people is a beautiful example of how Jesus loves us.....without reservation and unconditionally.

While Paul is looking to gain more of his adult life back, I am looking forward to becoming more like a child of God. One where I can become a most humble servant of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Teach me your ways my God.

Peace be to all of you in this season of Lent.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca