Change......my baby's got me locked up in 'change'.

On Monday evening, right before I got home from work, I got a call from Dr. McLanahan in Charlotte. He said that there were 3 options on the time and date of Paul's surgery. They were hoping for a cancellation of a surgery on Monday, 1/22 and that there was an open time at 4:00 PM. He didn't really like the late afternoon time since there would be less staff in the recovery room and ICU when he and Dr. Matthews would be finished around 9:00 PM. The only other date for the surgery would be 1/27. He didn't want to do it then because he has to leave for Europe for a conference about 6 days later. He was not comfortable leaving so soon after Paul's surgery. He said they are planning for Paul to be in the hospital for about 5 days. He wants to do the test of the external shunt after the surgery to determine if the shunt is even needed. It is his hope that with the repair to the orbit area where the leak of brain fluid comes out, the shunt may not be needed. They will force fluid into the brain to see if Paul's brain will be able to absorb it on its own. They will monitor the brain pressure closely and if his system cannot absorb the fluid, he will change the shunt to a much more finely tuned valve that has had great success. It comes from Germany.

I immediately realized when he said the surgery would be next Monday, that Jon would not be able to come. He and Michael had made reservations to fly into Washington D.C. for the Pro Life Weekend and March. They are meeting my brother Keith and also Jon and Marie. I called Jon with the news of the surgery and said, "Didn't I tell you that all you needed to do was to make reservations for a flight and the surgery would be scheduled!" I told him that he needed to keep his plans as it is so important an issue. Paul and I had signed up to take a bus downtown to Atlanta and were going to take part in the Pro Life event also. We had talked about how we would all be together in spirit. It was something we all wanted to do, most especially after Paul's miraculous recovery and the fact that a number of people had not given us much hope for his life. I have seen the faces of some medical professionals and have heard them say things that would leave very little hope for a positive outcome in Paul's recovery. They didn't see him as a viable human being. The see him laying on the examining table, with sunglasses and eye patch, paralysis of the face, non-talkative and apparently uninterested in his surroundings. They don't take time to even talk to him and will speak about him like he can't be hurt with their words. I have learned first hand about respect for life. It has been a valuable lesson to our family too. We want to be committed to being a voice for all those who can't speak and who are deserving of all the care we would want for ourselves.

So, with our plans changed, I will drive up on Sunday with Paul. Jon will come up later if needed. We decided that we need to plan our personal time off from work very wisely so that we don't run out of time before Paul's needs are met. We need to 'tag team'. We also decided that Michael needs his parent's interaction just as much as Paul. He has been a real trouper through all of this and has stood on the side lines, bravely and quietly. He has not caused us any trouble and has accepted the responsibilities thrust upon him without complaint. It is his senior year in high school and we want to spend as much time with him as possible, enjoying his presence in our home while we can. It is his turn! I am so happy he and Jon will get to be together for such a worthwhile cause.

I have to tell you about what happened on Monday. It was so incredible.
I got to work Monday morning and in my chair was a copy of a prayer written by St. Francis de Sales. It's content was exactly what I had written about at 11 PM the night before. Later, after hearing that the surgery was on 1/22, I checked out which saint might have a feast day on that date. It was St. Vincent of Saragossa. He was the first martyr of Spain and is the patron saint of 'wine makers.' I had written the last posting on Sunday night, titling it "New wine, old wine skins". A pretty obscure title to be sure, based on a gospel reading that I had heard tons of times before, but finally struck a chord with me. Getting the prayer and learning about St. Vincent made me think I was, just possibly, on the same page as God! I took these things as confirmation about all I had been thinking and writing. To get a prayer from a co-worker (who has remained anonymous) that was related to what I had written only hours before and then to find out about the patron saint of wine makers............coincidence? I think not! (To quote my daughter in law, Marie.) I so love these moments where it's almost as if God has spoken out loud - just so awesome and wonderful.

I have a lot of pictures that should have been posted with the past few blogs. I will try to get them on in the next 2 days.

I will leave you with the prayer that was left at my desk.

Be at peace.
Do not fear the changes of life,
rather look to them with full
hope as they arise.

God, whose very own you are,
will deliver you out of them.

He has kept you hitherto,
and He will lead you safely through
all things;
and when you cannot stand it,
God will bury you in His arms.

Do not be afraid of what may happen tomorrow;
the everlasting Father
who cares for you today
will take care of you then and everyday.

He will either shield you from suffering,
or will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace
and put aside all anxious thoughts
and imaginations.

St. Francis de Sales

Amen to that!
Love, Jon and Rebecca