Awesome Good, Awesome Bad

Marie called me this week to share the news about her baby and it provided so much joy just thinking about this tiny soul that is waiting to come into our lives. At 22 weeks, BFiddy is 7 inches long and 1 1/2 pounds. Marie told me that Paul and Jon got to see the sonogram and were in awe. Marie said she would like a boy and Jon would like a girl and each of them saw what they wanted to see in the sonogram, with Jon saying it looked like a girl and Marie saying it looked like a boy. They would like to wait until their baby is born to learn what it really is and so we are still at the normal odds...........50-50. The anticipation is so much fun!!

Later, when I was talking to Paul, I asked him what he thought about getting to see the baby on a sonogram. He said with great seriousness, "It was awesome good and also awesome bad." I was taken by surprise with his answer and had no idea what he meant. When asked to explain he said that it was really awesome to see the baby moving and to see the hands and the feet and hear the heart beat. He could not believe how beautiful that was. But it was 'awesome bad' because how could anyone seeing a tiny little baby moving like that want to have an abortion? He talked with sorrow in his voice and a bit of amazement that it happens everyday. I reminded him that while we have the wonder of science bringing cures for many illnesses, it also provides descriptions that make it easier to decide to stop the life of a baby. We cannot begin to imagine the reasons why, but we can offer up so much in our lives for the atonement of the sin of abortion. I asked him if he remembered my mentioning a long time ago that he could offer up his headache pain for all those burdened with the sin of abortion and he said he did. He was glad I had reminded him of that and he would remember it when his head pain flared up again.
Later, it occured to me how Paul's ways of stating things are unusual but exactly to the point. I smiled as I remembered how he struggled for the words to describe his having a 'lump in his throat' and he said, with tears in his eyes "That made me get a cry bubble right here". He has come a long way in his ability to communicate his thoughts, but every once in awhile he get's hung up and will just say the first thing to explain himself. Like 'awesome good and awesome bad'.

"Forgive our sins as we forgive,
You taught us Lord to pray,
but You alone can grant us grace
To live the words we say.

How can your pardon reach and bless
The unforgiving heart
That broods on wrongs and will not let
Old bitterness depart?

In blazing light your Cross reveals
The truth we dimly knew;
What trivial debts are owed to us,
How great our debt to you!

Lord, cleanse the depths within our souls
And bid resentment cease,
Then Bound to all in bonds of love,
Our lives will spread your peace.

You have said: do not judge, and you will not be judged;
God, grant us the compassion to seek what is good
in others as You have sought what is good in us.
Grant us the grace to forgive as you have forgiven us.

With love and prayers for your intentions,
Jon and Rebecca