Love is Patient

Jon and I may now be grandparents but there is always a lesson to be learned. We have heard it said numerous times, “Be careful what you pray for”. I have to admit, that statement has not stopped me yet. I’m all out there when I pray to God!

A week ago, I was going to get the gardens weeded and Jon said he would take my mother to the eye doctor for me so that I could the gardens weeded and other things done too. We had not had a free weekend in a long time and my house and gardens showed the visible signs of neglect. So I headed out to the shin-high weeds and got started. Later, James told me that Jon was on the phone. He had been gone only 25 minutes and I was impatient that he was already calling me for something. I had to hurry and wash up and then came in to take the phone call. I was thinking, very impatiently, that I would never get anything done if I was going to have to keep answering a phone. My tone reflected my impatience as I found the directions to the doctor’s office on the internet and told them to Jon. Then I realized that I had not given him the paperwork he needed to give to the doctor, so I had to call and get the fax number for the doctor’s office. I faxed Mom’s paperwork over and then went back outside to try to get some work done. I called out to James, “Tell anyone who calls that I will return their call later this afternoon! Except for your dad…..”

I went back to the garden and was muttering to myself that I just never had the time to get things done around our house. Now mind you, God had provided an unusually clear and cool morning for me, without the usual 80% humidity and the birds were chirping away like mad. I wasn’t being bothered by mosquitos (yet!) and it had rained really hard all through the night, so the weeds were very easily pulled out of the ground. Yet I was feeling very impatient about the amount of work that needed to be done and the fact that I had been pulled away from my task. I started to pray the rosary to myself and instantly felt bad that I had taken such an impatient tone with Jon. He was doing ME a favor by taking time out of his day to handle my Mother’s doctor appointment! I asked one more time for God to grant me the patience I have been praying for all these past years.

James showed such kindness to me and he came out to help me pull the weeds. Later, I found out he had been feeling really poorly for a few days and was really tired. When I learned that he was not feeling well, I thanked him with great sincerity for coming out into the garden and working so hard. It had wiped him out since he had not been sleeping well. I told him that I wished I had shown that same patience and kindness to his dad. I mentioned that I keep praying for patience and it seemed like God was taking a LONG TIME TO ANSWER MY PRAYER. James looked at me and said, “God isn’t going to just hand you the gift of patience. He has answered your prayer by providing you many opportunities to PRACTICE the virtue of patience, whereby you will then attain patience.” Seriously folks, I looked up at him and said, “What?!! What do you mean?”
James explained to me that our prayers are answered by God in ways that are best for us. To simply hand me the virtue of patience would not be wise. How would I know what it was if I had not had to experience it first? I took a moment to dwell on his words and then laughed really hard. No wonder I have had so many tough years lately……………in fact, they started about the time I was adamant in my request for more patience in my life. I thought that by praying with a very sincere heart I would finally get that great gift of patience! How could I have been so mistaken in my belief? How did I miss the insightful lesson that James just explained to me? I must have been “hurrying about my business!” Then James said, “Be careful what you pray for Mom.” Another lesson learned. The funny thing is, hearing him say ‘be careful what you pray for’ only made me want to pray to God to allow me to learn EVERYTHING I would need to get to heaven!! Bring on the practice of Kindness, Patience, Charity and Love, with lot of Wisdom to help me know how to use these gifts!!!

I could hardly wait for Jon to get home. (But I waited with patience……)
As soon as he walked in I apologized for my tone of voice and the careless way I had treated him on the phone. He smiled at me and said he was wondering about that, since he was doing me the favor. I then shared with him what James had told me. Jon was equally amazed at the explanation and we wondered how we had not ever really heard it before. We both missed the class ‘Patience 101’! He and I talked about all the missed opportunities and we were actually excited to start out with our new understanding and see how many ‘tests’ we could pass. On Sunday, as we drove to a church 45 minutes away, there were plenty of opportunities as we drove out on interstate 285 (anyone who lives close to Atlanta will know it is the perfect place to hone your skills in patience). We actually had a lot of fun with it. Each time either of us would stop short the urge to say something critical or judgemental, we would look at each other and smile. I wonder if God had finally gotten tired of watching us fail all His great opportunities all these years and decided we needed to repeat the class?? Praise be to God – I finally GET IT. Now I am praying for the strength to remain strong in my convictions to attain the gifts He intends for me.

We went to Mass at St. Frances de Sales for the Tridentine Mass. It sure brought back a lot of memories and it was such a reverent and peaceful time for me. Jon really enjoyed being there. It was a bit more confusing for him since he is a convert to Catholicism. They did have prayer books that we used to follow along. The whole Mass was in Latin, and we were familiar with only a couple of those prayers. We had attended many Masses where Fr. Jack Durkin would pray parts of the Mass in Latin, so that helped us recognize the words and we could pray along. We had been invited to this Mass by Geneva Baran. She and Paul were dating before his accident and she has been so good to Paul since that time. He doesn’t really remember much of the time he spent with her prior to the accident, only bits and pieces. He really enjoys her company and has said on numerous occasions that it makes him very sad to think about how hurt all of this must have made her – to love someone and then not even be remembered. I was so happy to learn he did remember her mother, Chris, when he saw her this past Sunday. It was a very peaceful day for us and we were so happy to see Geneva and her mother again. We met the young man she is now dating and he could not have been more kind and gracious to all of us. May God bless them both!

Jerry took Paul to a concert a week ago……in Nashville! They drove up early Thursday to attend the concert by Diana Krall. She is a jazz pianist and also sings very well. They spent the night at a hotel that had a very large pool, so Paul was able to swim both days. They did some sightseeing on Friday and then drove back home. Paul was so excited about the concert and the fact that he had taken another road trip! Jerry has been telling Paul to keep working hard at his recovery so that they can plan these kinds of trips and use them as a goal for Paul to work towards. Paul even worked longer during the days before his trip to Nashville so that he could take that Friday off. It really helps him when there is a goal ahead of him and one that he has helped set.

We are going to meet with the people at Shepherd Pathways on Tuesday. This will be an important step to help Paul reach his goal of returning to college. He will benefit from their help this time because he is not so ‘vague’ in his mind. He was experiencing the onset of hydrocephalus the last time he was there (about 18 months ago) and he did not really gain much while there. They had to dismiss him from the program since he was not responding very well. We are praying that they will be a lot more helpful this time around. They will also be able to do a psychological evaluation to help us know where Paul needs the most help.

This past Saturday was our monthly Rosary Walk around Stone Mountain. It is a 5 mile walk and we pray all the Mysteries of the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. We pray for numerous intentions and we always include all of you! This time though, Paul joined us in prayer for the full 5 miles! We thought he would walk 1-2 miles, but he stayed the course and finished it. He also brought his dog, Abby. This was the first time he has been able to do this. He is really ‘raising the bar’ for himself! He had a pretty bad headache when he started (about a 6 on a scale of 1 – 10), but said that it had not gotten worse so he really wanted to finish what he started.

“In time of trail it is of great profit to us patiently to endure for God’s sake, for the Lord says: “By patient endurance you will win life for yourselves.” He did not say by your fasting, or your solitude or silence, or your singing of psalms, although all of these are helpful in saving your soul. But he said: “By patient endurance” in every trial that overtakes you, and in every affliction, whether this be insolent and contemptuous treatment or any kind of disgrace, either small or great, whether it be bodily weakness, or the belligerent attacks of Satan, or any trial whatsoever caused either by other people or by evil spirits.

The apostle writes: “With patient endurance we run the race of faith set before us.”
This is the queen of virtues, a haven of tranquility. It is peace in time of war, calm in rough waters, safety amidst treachery and danger. It makes those who practice it stronger than steel. Not even the host of evil spirits, nor the dark array of hostile powers, nor the devil himself standing by with all his armies and devices will have power to injure the man or woman who has acquired this virtue through Christ.” ( Saint Nilus of Ancyra -430 AD)

Amen, brother.

May God bless you for patiently praying with great perseverance for our family.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca