Summer Wind

Please be patient waiting for Paul to post a blog. He was never very disciplined about much except his music. He always heard the beat of a different drummer and did things when the mood struck him. I have tried to encourage him to do a blog with some regularity, but the only consistent thing has been his response...."I'll do it later, when my head doesn't hurt." Translation: when the mood strikes him. I want you to know though that he has really enjoyed reading the comments. He reread his blog and commented on all his mistakes. I had not done any editing, so it would be his blog completely. I was glad to see he knew some of it was grammatically incorrect. In fact, he has started to correct me when I say words that are wrong. For example, he will remind me I should have said 'correctly' 'badly' or 'well' instead of correct, bad or good. And he is 'correctamundo' - which is another Paul word. He is back to saying 'negative' or 'pass' when he doesn't want to do something. Or my favorite......'whoops-a-deho'. More and more often, he is using words that he normally used to say. It is wonderful to hear.

He has been in rehab for 2 weeks and he thinks it is "stupid." He told me after the first week that he doesn't know why he is going. I said that it will help him build strength and help figure out where he might need some extra help. He looked me straight in the eye and said "I am not stupid. I am not mentally retarded." I asked why he said that. His response was that the things they ask him to do are really dumb and they are not helping him at all. Like the day the one therapist asked him to organize all the dishes in the cupboard. She said that the janitor had not put them away very well and she asked if Paul could do that for her. Paul told me in a very cynical tone, "Great, now I get to do the janitor's job." I laughed so hard and explained that the therapist was just testing him to see how much he knew and if he had his organizational skill still intact. He said, "Then just ask me, and I will tell you." I explained that they are starting at ground level and would work their way up to see how well his brain had recovered, then they could plan out a schedule for Paul to work on areas that needed extra attention. He understood that, but still didn't think he needed to go to Emory to get that done. He asked why couldn't they just send home some lists for us to go through and he could work from home. What Paul doesn't understand is that if he is not forced to leave the house, he doesn't have much incentive to do anything. His first desire is to stay in bed and dwell on his headache. I told him he does a much better job on the days he has to get up and go somewhere. He said he will continue with rehab, but he is definitely not on board with the whole thing. He works hard for the therapists and he said that with the one person he is not so fond of, the one who has filled in a couple of times, he just doesn't say anthing to her and follows her instructions. I asked who he liked best and he said that he likes his occupational therapist most, even though she is the one who asked him to do the janitor's job. His side comment was that she was very pretty, and he didn't mind that. That is one thing he can look forward to each time.............smile.

Jerry has been a huge help to our family. He takes care of Paul on Wednesday and Friday's. The other days, Paul has stayed at the neighbor's house across the street. Michael gets home at 2:15 each day, so we have covered the times needed for caring for Paul. He gets to Mass at least 3 times a week. The next goal is to get him back to work as quickly as possible. He really does so much better when he has to be somewhere at a specific time. He will put out the effort when there is a planned event. I am hoping that with time, he will recreate better habits than the main desire to retreat to his bed.

We have an appointment with the plastic surgeon who did such good work on the young lady (Shea Hickok) who was with Paul at Shepherd Center. Shea also needed to have her orbital repaired and her family was very happy with the surgery performed by Dr. Nunn. We will see him on September 7. Our prayer is that they can fix Paul's eye so that he won't need to wear the patch or keep his eye lid taped down. His eye tears a lot these days, so he should be able to leave his eyelid up and keep working on getting his eyelid to blink. He can close his eyelid after only about 5 seconds, but he is still working hard to keep it down by itself. He does need to have the eye lined up evenly with his right eye. Paul's main prayers these days are for the recovery of his eyesight. When I prayed one day for a miracle cure, he stopped me and asked, "Are you saying it will take a miracle to heal my eye?" He looked shocked. I said I don't know exactly what is wrong, but if it will take a miracle, I am praying for one!! LIttle by little, the big reality of his impairments are starting to sink in. His desire to pray has increased with his increased knowledge. I know that Paul will need psychological help as time goes on since his life has changed so much and he will have new 'mountains' to climb. They will be assessing his needs in this area in rehab. I know that our family will all need to get some advice so that we can be of the greatest help to Paul as he learns to function in daily life again after all this time and with whatever limitations he may have.

Paul's humor is on the rise. He was playing cards with Michael yesterday and had him laughing. That is the first time in a long time that we heard those two joking around and laughing out loud. Mike has stayed very busy and was not around much this summer. He is only working on Friday afternoon and Saturdays now, so is home more. Just like James, he will get lots of practice in developing greater patience.

Paul talks alot about what he will do owith his future, but if we start to discuss it at any length, he says he doesn't want to talk about it anymore and ends it quickly. It is too big a chunk to deal with. I remind him to handle what is in his day, work at it really hard and let God present the future in His time. Paul finds comfort in that - that he will not be given more than he can handle.

Paul has been moved along this summer like a sailboat in the warm Summer Wind. At summer's end I look back and know that the wind in our sails has been the Holy Spirit. Paul has weathered some storms, but he is cruising on smooth waters right now. Your intercessory prayers have been our 'personal flotation devices!

May the Spirit of God move within your heart today and propel you to do all according to God's will.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca