ALL FOR THE LOVE OF YOU

Three years and counting...................

I have to start with great thanksgiving to our God who has graced us with more love, laughter and recovery than I could ever have imagined we would experience since 11/11/05. How the power of pray has moved a mountain! I will never forget those first few months in the hospitals, nor the hours spent wondering where this would take us. We prayed with an intensity we did not know was within us and we were graced with an answer far beyond our hopes. So many prayers sent up to heaven by so many people.....it still amazes us to this day.

Paul is doing well in school in that he understands what is being taught in the classroom. He has participated on a number of occassions and is very happy as he relates how his teacher will agree with him and then expound on Paul's comments. It is interesting that some of Paul's comments are related to his music background and how in depth he remembers his theory. We are still prayerful Paul will rekindle his passion for music. As of now, it is dormant.

We have to help Paul a good deal with his 3-6 page essays that he has written for his class. He understands the material, but has difficulty starting the paper and keeping his thoughts organized. I have been blessed to have as my friend, the mother of another brain injured young man. I have written of her often and we still stay in touch. A month ago we met for lunch and she shared the path that her son has taken since his accident almost 5 years ago. She said that Paul is following the same path in a number of ways and that she too had to help her son a lot in the first 3 semesters he was back in college. He is now in his 5th semester and has taken a full load and is doing everything for himself. He lives in an apartment near the Atlanta rail system and uses that to get to class each day. He lost the sight in one of his eyes, so is not able to drive. But that has not stopped his progress and he is blessed to have a lot of his friends still near him to help him get around. Dee also said that her son was so much more like his old self and that even he realizes he has continued to recover in his mental abilities. She said that they still see improvement in so many ways and for us to remain very optimistic about the future for Paul. Hearing all of this helped me squelch some fears that had cropped up, especially in the area of school. Lately, I felt we had hit a dead end as we saw Paul struggle through this coursework.

I read something recently that reminded me that I have to let it go and trust God is guiding us along. I took a spiritual inventory and realized I am still battling my tendency to 'take control'. I was praying hard for God to help me because I really felt far away from that relationship I had been building upon all this time. I had a real battle going on inside. I would pray for a greater love of God and greater trust, but still felt very empty. I finally called out to God while in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament -"How long Lord? What do you want from me?" The following week I got an answer.

It was these words from Father Jean-Pierre De Caussade (1751 - a French Jesuit) that helped me:
"I experience impetouous desires of acquiring the gift of prayer, humilty, gentleness, the love of God; to this I reply: Let us not think so much about our own interests. My duty is to occupy myself simply and quietly with God, to accomplish His will in all that He asks of me, at the moment. That is my task; everything else I leave in the care of God; my advancement is His business, as mine is to occupy myself ceaselessly with Him and to execute His orders. It occurs to me that I am still so imperfect, so full of defects and meannesses, of infidelities and weaknesses; how long will it be before I am delivered from these things? I reply at once: by the grace of God I do not love my faults, I am resolved to combat them; but I shall only be delivered from them when it may please God to deliver me. That is His affair, mine is to hate these faults and to fight them with patience, penitence and humility until it pleases God to give me the victory over them. This is what God demands of me; He will give me more light and knowledge when He thinks it well to do so. That is His affair. I have placed all my spiritual progress in His hands."

Pretty much hit the nail on the head, wouldn't you agree? It not only applied to my relationship to God, but also my responsibility to Paul. God will bring to us all that we can handle in the day and we need to wait with patience for the next step. What will be, will be. I am to stand by and take orders from God, not give them...............such a tough lesson for this pitiful soul!

We still see the roller coaster recovery pattern. Paul is in a low spot these days. These are the times when I feel impatient. It is the time where the brain shuts down so he can get some repairs done. He has been very forgetful lately and not quite as sharp in his thought processes. I am not sure how long it will last, but we have been graced with recovery each time.

One huge thing he did was to go on a retreat with the Catholic Students Association at GA State this past weekend. He has been back in touch with the director of the program and has been going to the noon Mass on Tuesdays and Thursdays when he can. Rudy told him about the retreat in the North GA mountains and Paul made the decision to go. He had a very good time and came home exhausted. He tried to tell us all about it on Sunday when we picked him up, but he suddenly said he was too tired to talk. We could tell he was in overload. He was quiet for a little while and then continued to tell us more about it. He stayed a bit sluggish through today. He and Jerry went for a long swim this afternoon to get an "oxygen" fill up in his brain. The aerobic excercises are best for Paul and we felt it would help him a lot. Jerry is on vacation this week, so he hopes to get Paul to the aquatic center at least 2 more times.

Right before the election, our pastor organized a nightly rosary to be said at church. There is so much to pray for in our country and he knows the power of prayer is the answer. Needless to say, there were so many of our friends and parishioners that were so saddened by the outcome of this election, as it relates to the hard work of the Pro-Life movement. Our priest's response is perfect. We have gone almost every night and it brings us so much joy. There is a sign up sheet for people to take charge of leading it each night. They can choose the opening song and then they lead the congregation in the recitation of the rosary and then the Litany of the Blessed Mary. Then they lead us in a closing song. Tonight, Paul has signed up as a way of remembering so many parishioners who came to church one night and prayed specifically for him while he was still in a coma. Our family was shocked and overjoyed at how many people came. Three years later, our family is shocked and overjoyed at how many people are coming every night to pray for our country, for the unemployed and for an end to abortion. A sign for the times that God's truth will be carried from this generation to the next.

As I reflected today on these past 3 years, the title just popped into my head. God's response to His people, our response to God and to all of you who have prayed, our efforts to help Paul recover is summed up in those words. ALL FOR THE LOVE OF YOU. It will be this shared love that will move us through any difficult days ahead. Always and Forever. Praise be to Our Loving Father in heaven.

With much love and gratitude, we keep you in our hearts.
Jon and Rebecca