Summer's End

Summer's End, but new beginnings.

I cannot believe it is the end of August.

I have wanted to write so often during this Summer, but have been so busy the time has slipped away from me. I am sorry I have abandoned this blog. Truly I am. A lot has happened in these last 3 months, so I will go back and catch everyone up. I have to admit that I have missed writing more than you will know. Our lives have been filled to the brim all during the Summer. Apparently, we are back to ‘normal’.

We just got back from Quantico, Virginia, where we attended the graduation / commissioning ceremony of James into the Marine Corp. Along with the news of the graduation, the other big news is that Paul flew for the first time since the accident. He was cleared for take off !

It was a very long 10 weeks for James and also for us. He was allowed to talk to us on weekends, and each week brought more news of the tough struggle he was experiencing. Each week he told us he knew this was what he really wanted to do, but he was not sure they wanted him. It is a very grueling program that challenged him physically, academically and mentally and where 40% of the candidates left on their own, or were asked to leave the program. I prayed often and with great fervency that if it was God’s will, James would be able to complete the program. It was his dream since grade school, where he spent hours and hours drawing tanks, airplanes and battle scenes. While I don’t relish the thought of my son going into battle, I prayed that if it was God’s will, then so be it. I have read recently about Pope Benedict’s writings about how we, as the laity of the church, are to take Jesus with us into our workplaces, no matter where that is. The work of the laity is not just within the church, but more importantly, out in the world. Jesus went out into the world and he sent his apostles out into the world, to bring glory to God our Father. I spent this Summer praying that all my sons would be led to their highest good, no matter the path. It is a prayer I will continue to my dying day.

We all worked long and hard hours this Summer , but Michael won the award for most hours worked. He put in 79 hour weeks, with only one weekend off. He had set a goal to make a certain amount of money so he would have enough to pay for school and also not have to work during the Fall semester. He is on the cross country team and will be putting in long hours training and studying. He attained his goal and like James, is about 15 lbs. lighter! Wish I could say the same…………….

Paul has continued improving in many ways. He is so much better about remembering what needs to be done and is taking care of his own needs. At the beginning of the Summer, we started to let Paul drive around town to help improve his driving skills. He was going to be tested at the end of July by Shepherd Center. He was really looking forward to gaining more independence. I was a tough critic, as I didn’t want him back out on the road when he wasn’t fully prepared or capable. He was patient with all my instructions and remembered things I told him each day. That is what I was most impressed with - his remembering so many things from day to day. His brain really does seem to keep improving.

Jon took him to the eye doctor to get his permission for Paul to continue the testing process. We were told that Paul’s cornea has some damage, although it is very minor. It has affected his vision and so Paul now is wearing glasses. It is serving a more important purpose and that is the protection of his eye. Paul got glasses that will darken once he is outside. That way, he doesn’t need to keep up with sunglasses. His pupil in his left eye is permanently dilated, so that is why he is so sensitive to the sun. These new glasses look great and he has enjoyed all the compliments he’s received!

Paul was tested in depth before he was allowed to drive. He scored in the normal range on all of them. He was taken out to drive and since Shepherd is in downtown Atlanta, that is where the driving test occurred. He had to drive their car, which as a Grand Marquis. Paul drove for an hour on the city streets and the freeway. After his driving test, the counselor went over the results with Paul and Jon. She said that she feels Paul’s vision is a hindrance and that he seemed ‘rusty’. Not exactly rocket science……………we know why! She said she was not failing him, but she was not passing him either. She said he would be tested again, and if he could not pass, would have to work through a vocational program to regain his ability to drive. Jon and I have watched Paul drive and felt she was very critical in her assessment. Also, she said she would see if the doctor would allow Paul to practice as long as we were in the car. She said she didn’t think he should do that and that he should sit as a passenger and observe us driving. I unfortunately was not there. I would have responded that no one becomes a better tennis player by watching! It is not that I am looking forward to seeing Paul drive again. I am very frightened at the prospect - it is a natural response after what we have been through. But I have driven with Paul a lot and he does very well. I w ill readily admit he was not ready for downtown driving and freeway driving, and in a Grand Marquis! I would not have driven well in a Grand Marquis! Our downtown streets are very narrow and Jon and I both hate driving there. One reason we wanted to help Paul get permission to drive was for him to be able to drive the 4 miles to work and back. There is a bus stop a block from his office and he could have used it to get to his class on Tuesday and Thursday. The bus goes near the university downtown and it would have been the perfect way for him to get to school and work. He was looking so forward to the freedom of getting to work and to go to the store for his personal things. I prayed that if it was truly safe, that it would happen.

And we got our answer. Paul has been very disappointed and was actually depressed for days afterward. We are looking for a psychologist to help Paul work through some of the emotions this has brought about. He has finally gained more awareness about his disabilities and has started to talk about his appearance and how it makes him feel. While I don’t want him to suffer from it, I know that it is progress for him. He hasn’t really talked a lot about the way his face looks. Now he does. He talks about that and also how he wants his constant headache to go away and he wants his eyelid to blink again and he wants to look normal. He said he wonders why God didn’t just bring him home. His brain is healing and his awareness is awakening. There is a tough road ahead. But I have to believe that God will help him and we will work diligently to find the help he will need to work through all those emotions that are surfacing.

If anyone is still reading this, please pray for his continued strength to accept the pathway God has set before him. It has been a long walk and he is coming to some forks in the road.
We will continue to get the help he needs to regain some independence in driving. We at least will fight to keep him driving while we are with him. That is the only way he will keep up his skills. We would like to see the doctor give him permission to drive within a 5 mile radius. That would get him anywhere he would really need to go. I will leave it in God’s hands and His time. As always. We are helping Paul understand and accept that God knows best. He does not need to be driving before he is truly ready. Oh, that virtue patience…………………….hard, hard, hard to attain.

Paul started classes at GA State University and I took him his first day. I told him I was going to walk way behind him, as I wanted to see how he would make his way around, but not be an embarrassment to him. He said he didn’t mind me being there at all, but I told him that it was good for him to just jump in and do what he wanted. He knew I was near if he needed help, but that he was on his own to handle the day. He remembered to give his disability paperwork to the professor right after class. He took notes during the class and was able to talk about what the professor said. He remembered so much and even noticed things I did not. Paul has always noticed the very small details and that is still his way. He knew the way to the Marta station, where he bought a month’s pass so he can use the railway system to get to school. It is a lot farther for us to drive to get him there and back, but it will work for him. He found the bookstore and purchased his textbooks. As he was walking back to our car, he saw someone he knew. It was Rudy. They met through the Catholic Youth Ministry on campus and had traveled to Steubenville University to hear Scott Hahn speak. Rudy recognized Paul right away and when Paul asked him if he remembered him, Rudy said yes and told him he had come to visit him while he was in a coma. Rudy told him too, that he had so many people praying for him. Paul said, “Well, it looks like they helped.” They talked for a bit and Rudy reminded Paul that Mass was at 12:15 every day in the student union. Paul continued to make his way around campus and remembered where everything was. His spirits were very high and he was having a great time. On our way home, he was very talkative and excited about being back at school. The disappointment of not being able to drive seemed to diminish greatly. Paul had a new experience and he was happy to see some of his normal life come back. There was a young lady who came up to him and told him that she new his brother Michael and asked him if he was the brother who had had the accident. I stood back and let them talk. On our way home, I told Paul that she had mentioned a couple of times that she lived with her parents in Lilburn and he looked at me and said, “ I should have asked her her name! She lives near us. C’mon Paul, where’s your head at ?”

We went over the textbooks with Paul and I talked to Jon in private about how this was going to be a tough class for Paul. It was exactly the kind of class we were told he should avoid on his first attempt at school. It was going to require a lot of reading and writing a number of papers. He would be required to contact principals of schools to get permission to sit in on 2 different classes with 2 different teachers and observe the teaching methods and then write his critique. Jon talked to Paul about it and he said he was a little worried about it. Jon said he would help him and they started to review the coursework. The books used were from an extremely liberal bias and Paul started to realize how slanted the perspective was. Both he and Jon started to realize the agenda the books were promoting and Jon told Paul that while he thought a teaching degree was awesome, Paul should really think about getting one from a Catholic university. The more they talked, the more Jon felt this class was totally an inappropriate perspective. Paul agreed and said that if he were to stay true to his faith background and wrote his answers that way, he would be sure to fail.

I looked over the material and was appalled at the extreme slant of these textbooks. While we are to take Jesus out into our world and try to bring the Glory to God, this is not the time for Paul to battle an extremely liberal agenda. He spent the rest of that evening and the next finding another class. We told him to do the research and we were there for help if he needed it. He found a class he can use as an elective in his degree program. He chose a class on the introduction of Film techniques that contrasts the different styles of directors worldwide. Paul changed out the classes online and attended class alone on Thursday. He was able to exchange his textbooks and did not lose any money. He also updated his student ID card and tried to find his new textbook. He called to tell me to try to find it on Half.com as the bookstore was sold out. He also told me he had met up with a room mate from his freshman year! His friend had joined the Air Force and was now back at school after serving the time. They had lunch and went back to the new dorms so Paul could see them. Paul was down at school from 7:45 AM until 3:30 PM! He did not call me other than to say he needed me to find the book if I could. He had a terrific day and was able to tell us in detail all that the teacher had talked about. I had ordered his textbook and had it overnighted since Paul had 60 pages to read by Tuesday. As of tonight, he had read them. He has written notes and is ready for class. He was telling Jon and me that he was talking to his best friend, Jonathan, and told him about the class. He said he joked around about how he decided to “bite the bullet and tackle school again by taking a solid 3 unit class …….yep, I am handling a full load!” Paul’s humor is still with him and we enjoy it immensely.


As the school semester begins, I am going to get back to my blog. I feel like God blessed me with this gift of writing down my thoughts and I derive so much joy from it. I have had so many moments where I wanted to share what I heard and saw, moments where I could connect the happenings of the day to God’s love and mercy. Thanks be to God, I have had this time tonight.
For anyone who ever checks back to this site again, know that I am praying for you always. I will carry all the prayer warriors in my heart every day I live.

Peace always, in our loving Savior, Jesus Christ.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

As always, pictures will follow. So many great ones to share!