Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

Thanksgiving Day and oh yes, there was so much to be thankful for. Our house was filled with so much laughter and fun. After the 10 A.M. Mass, I had asked if there were any traditions that our 3 guests had with their own families that we could incorporate into the day. Shannon said that they make place settings for each person with construction paper and cardboard rolls from bathroom/paper towels. Each roll is decorated as an indian or pilgrim. James, Paul, Shannon, Lillian and Joe worked on them while I got the Thanksgiving meal ready. Our '5th' son, Matt Velker came by and joined us for dinner too. It was a perfect day.

Friday morning, Jon, Paul and I went to Hanceville, Alabama to see the nuns at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. The weather was crisp and beautiful and since most people were at the shopping malls, the traffic was very light. Big bonus for us! We had about 40 minutes to spare when we got there so we sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament for a while to present our intentions to Jesus. We then found a quiet place for Paul to warm up before he played his guitar for the nuns. We waited in the hallway until we were invited into the parlor. A young woman, who is in the novitiate, came to meet us. She told us her name was Isabella. I told her we would definitely remember her name since it is the same one Jon and Marie have chosen if their baby is a girl. She agreed it was a perfect name. Then, she looked at Paul and asked, " Are you Paul Fidero? We have really been looking forward to your coming here to play for us." She then asked us to come into the parlor. There were about 8 young seminarians who were visiting from Ohio and they were still visiting with the nuns. Sr. Marie St. John asked if Paul would mind playing for the seminarians also and Paul said he would not mind at all. Within minutes, the chairs were all filled on the parlor side and also on the other side, where the cloistered nuns sat. I told them that Paul had been practicing for weeks and that he had even memorized his songs for the nuns. This was not as easy as it seemed since Paul struggles with short term memory problems. But with practice, he did it. He played Ode to Joy, then Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring. After these 2 songs, he looked up and with a serious face said, "The next song is one by the Rolling Stones." The whole room erupted into laughter at this and I could tell Paul was really having a wonderful time entertaining. He was enjoying the fact that he had made everyone laugh with his joking. He then finished his 3rd classical piece and he looked up and gave everyone his huge smile as they clapped for him. Later, he told me how awesome it was to look up and see all those nuns looking at him with such wonderful smiles. He was really touched by it. We got to spend an hour with the nuns, priest and seminarians! It was incredible. One of the nuns, Sr. Mary Clare, was not there when Paul played, so when she came in about 25 mintues later, he sat down and played just for her. On our last trip, she had asked us to pray for her baby nephew, who has a very rare disease. She told us Connor was not doing very well at all and asked us to keep up our prayer vigil for him. She was happy to hear that the picture she had given us on our last trip, of Mother Angelica holding Connor, was placed in front of the statue of Blessed Mother. We placed it there so we would remember to keep him in our daily prayers and also as a visible sign that Our Mother in heaven truly looks over us all in our needs. We found out that Sr. Marie St. John keeps a picture of Paul on her desk and she prays for him everyday! We told her that the prayers are surely being heard in heaven, because Paul is doing so much better. She did say that she was totally amazed at the difference in his appearance in only 4 months. We left the Shrine with the promise that when Paul had a lot more songs learned, he would come back and continue to share his gift of music with them.
We were supposed to meet the group of Ave Maria University students, along with the nuns and priests from that school, but they had left the shrine earlier to go to EWTN in Birmingham. We told them we would call them after Paul played for the nuns and would then try to meet them.
I called Anne Shea and found out that they were still at EWTN and so we drove about 40 miles to meet them there. They were at the monastery about 2 miles away from EWTN when we arrived, so we waited in the chapel . I was just overflowing with the joy of the day and it was great to be sitting in front of the Tabernacle, thanking Jesus for all the blessings we have received. I cannot describe the amount of happiness I felt while sitting there.

The chartered bus pulled up outside and Anne came into the chapel to welcome us. In October, it was Anne who asked if we could come to the Shrine during the Thanksgiving weekend, after she read on the blog that we had hoped to bring Paul back to the Shrine once he had learned a few songs. When I told Paul about the idea, he kicked into high gear to learn the songs very quickly so we could time our visit with Ave Maria’s. There were almost 60 people on the bus. Paul was most especially looking forward to seeing Jordan Shea. They had met about 4 years prior, when some of the students at the Ave Maria Michigan campus were traveling to Daytona Beach during Spring break to evangelize to the youth at the beach. Jon was attending Ave Maria at the time, so he asked Paul (who was 18 yrs old) to join them. We drove Paul to Augusta and dropped him off at the Shea's house. From there, the 2 van loads of students traveled to Florida. That is when we all met the Shea family. Jordan was about 12 years old at that time and we later learned that he had really enjoyed being with Paul and had been very sad to see Paul leave. Jordan is not able to hear out of one ear and has very limited hearing in the other. Out of all the people who were at the Shea house, it was with Paul that Jordan felt a connection. In hindsight, it is easy to see God’s hand at work! Paul was really looking forward to seeing Jordan again. He wanted to share the fact that he too suffers with the loss of hearing in one ear. So as we came into the room where everyone was gathered to have dinner, Paul was looking for Jordan. Jon told me later he was keeping an eye out for Jordan too because he wanted to see his face when he saw Paul. He was not disappointed. He said that when Jordan saw Paul, his face lit up into a huge smile and he went quickly to Paul’s side. Paul recognized him instantly and smiled right back. They immediately started talking about having hearing aides and comparing the functions of each set. They shared all the difficulties they endure, but especially the constant ringing in their ears. Both of them agreed that they will listen to music or watch a movie to take their minds off the constant ringing noise they hear 24/7. While we can empathize with Paul, only Jordan would understand what it is like. They talked the whole time during dinner and were really enjoying each other’s company.

Now, along with the Shea's, there were lots of students and their families, nuns and priests and also Fr. Raphael, who is the founder of the religious order of nuns called The Home of the Mother. Anne Shea’s daughter, Katherine, is in the novitiate stage at the convent in Spain. The nuns who were on this trip belong to this order also. After dinner, Fr. Raphael got a microphone and to our surprise, introduced Paul. He speaks Spanish, so he had to use an interpreter. He asked Paul if he would tell everyone about his faith journey. I was a little worried that Paul would become overwhelmed with the request and so I immediately prayed that if God needed someone to hear His words, please send the Holy Spirit to help Paul speak them. Paul started out by telling everyone who he was before the accident. He said he went to church because he was supposed to. He prayed occasionally, but really didn’t have much of a relationship with God. He said that he pretty much lived his life according to his own will. He said he must have had a meeting with God during his coma because when he woke up, he could not stop thinking about God. He thinks about Him almost all the time now. Before he attempts to do most anything, he asks God to help him. He asks God to help heal him every day. He talks to God so much more. He told the young people that they needed to change their lives to be one with God. It was the most important thing they could do. If they weren’t in a close relationship with Jesus, they should change their lives right away. Paul mentioned that they didn’t need to have an accident to learn it. He must have needed to learn it that way, but not everyone has to go through that. He said he never regrets what has happened to him. He said, “Look at me – with all my physical problems and hearing loss and the paralysis, even with that, I don’t regret a thing. God allowed it to happen for a reason. He knows what needs to be done in my life. So I don’t regret anything that has happened.” Fr. Raphael asked Paul a number of questions, as did some of the students. Paul stayed very much at ease and answered them all patiently. Near the end, he started to repeat himself more than before, so I knew he was getting very tired. It was now around 8:30 and we had been away from home since 9:00 A.M. It had been a huge day for Paul. Fr. Raphael then asked Paul if he would play his guitar for the group. Paul got his guitar and they made a space for him in the middle of the room. As he sat down and got situated, Jordan got the portable microphone and ran down to where Paul was and he knelt on the floor in front of Paul and held the microphone in front of the guitar so that everyone could hear him play. I had to work hard to hold back the tears as I watched Jordan kneeling at Paul’s feet, making sure his friend’s music would be heard. The beauty of that act, by this sweet young man who has difficulty hearing – knowing instantly what to do to get the sound of the music out to everyone’s ears. God was speaking volumes in that act of love. I felt very blessed to be a witness to it.

It came time for everyone to leave. We had a 3 hour drive back to Atlanta and they had to get back to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. We got to meet so many wonderful people in that short period of time. There was a couple from Connecticut who told us they still read the blog and asked us to pray for them as they had to drive back home from Florida on Sunday. What an awesome thing for us – meeting the people who have helped pray Paul back to good health! You can bet we remembered them in prayer as requested. We got to meet another Sister Isabella. She had come from the convent in Spain. Hmmmm……I wonder if Marie’s baby is a girl………….
It took us a good while to get all the goodbye’s completed, but finally everyone was on the bus and in the vans and ready to leave. As we stood there, a man and woman came up to us and the man introduced himself to Paul. He told Paul that he had been listening to his story and he was going to read through the blog. He said he was the director of programming ( I believe that is what he said………..sorry, I was very tired at this point!) at EWTN. He said he believed that this story was something they would want to tell on EWTN and he asked Paul if he would be interested. Paul told him that he would and asked what he needed to do. He was told that they were going to read about his story on the blog and they would then call to make an appointment to discuss it all. We were asked for our phone numbers and told that they would be in touch with us.

We were stunned. Literally stunned. As we walked back to our van, Paul was laughing joyously about how awesome his day had gone. He could not believe how great it was seeing the nuns smiling at him, and seeing Jordan again and then getting to play his guitar for everyone and then maybe getting to be on EWTN. I can tell you, his joy was being shared by his parents! We could not believe what an awesome day it had been. One blessed moment after another. We talked about it almost all the way back home.

Yes, getting to know our ‘new’ Paul, we are getting to know God more each day.

“Blessed are the ears that heed the inner whisperings of the Lord, and pay no attention to the deceitful murmurings of this world; and blessed indeed are the ears which do not listen to the loud voices from outside, but instead are attentive to Him, Who inwardly teaches the truth.”
Imitation of Christ, 3:1

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening. (1 Sam 3:9)
May you incline your hearts to follow what Jesus speaks to your souls,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

P.S. Last and certainly not least…….Paul is now completely off his prescriptions for headaches! He uses Advil only once a day, usually in the morning when he wakes up. He uses ice packs and exercises from the chiropractor during the day, when he feels a headache coming on, and it helps him avoid taking medication.He has mild headaches still, but he mostly doesn’t notice it enough to even mention it. He still has loud ringing in his left ear, but we keep praying that it will be healed. All things in God’s time. Praise be to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Thanksgiving Weekend Pictures

There is a great story that I will post tonight. Here are a few pictures of our weekend. Let me
tell you, it was a jammed packed, action filled weekend! Check back tonight for a HUGE story. I
will fill you in on the stories behind the pictures.















Jordan and Paul meet again after 4 years!















Stephanie with her parents, Paul and
Sandy. Welcome to the Catholic church
Stephanie!! She was baptized and
confirmed on Saturday night.












Joe, Paul, James, Shannon and Lillian work on the
place markers for our Thanksgiving day table setting.














Our Thanksgiving pilgrims and indians
serving as place
markers - A tradition from the Kilian family!














Lillian, Joe, James and Shannon getting ready to leave
Sunday - we really do miss them all !
















Michael and Lillian raking up the leaves.
Lillian was so happy to
see the Fall leaves - she just had to take a plunge!
She and Joe live in the Midwest and they miss
the cold weather and Fall leaves now that they
are in Florida at Ave Maria University


















Paul at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament -
he was there to play his guitar for the nuns who have
been praying for him. He's a visible sign of prayers
answered.














Paul and Jon approaching the statue of the Child
Jesus at the entrance of the Shrine.

One last picture of our sons with their incredible
friends. It was the end of a most blessed weekend.

Running On Empty

Michael on the far left

Great picture - both
feet off the ground.

Uncle Jim dubbed him
"Mercury Mike"



So, one year later, we again look back at where we were last year at this time and can't believe the long way we've come! Last year, we were driving home from our very first visit with Dr. McLanahan and he had given us so much hope about being able to help Paul. It took us 7 hours to get home from Charlotte that day before Thanksgiving. We were wiped out from it all, but we were so joyous that we had a promise of help on the horizon. We had no idea that it would take 4 surgeries to accomplish the task, but completed it is. Praise God for all the recovery that Paul has gained.

Two years ago, Paul was still in his coma and Jon and James were driving home during the night to be with us on Thanksgiving. It was a very strange day for us, but it too ended with much hope. Paul had moved his right arm as his brother Jon played songs that they had recorded. Then, while we were praying the rosary as we all stood around his hospital bed, Paul yawned. We started to believe Paul might be coming out of his coma. It would be around 11 PM on Thanksgiving night that Paul woke from his coma and the nurse who was on duty knew we would learn of it the next morning. Thanksgiving has taken on a much deeper meaning for our family, that is for sure. Not only were we given the gift of Paul's life, we were given a gift of a closer relationship with God. Those gifts brought us to a new pathway - one that continually brings so much hope and trust in God's unconditional love. One that has taught us that God will help us in His way and time, if we allow it.

All of you know our story and have seen that God has worked so many miracles and has shown so many signs of His love. The recovery has been slowly progressing and the outcome is not known, but we are sure that God has been in charge. We are sure that any purpose God has for each of us will come to pass if we stay on this pathway. We are sure that we are each called by name and that we have our own ‘point and purpose’ in the world. We just have to stay in touch with God or we will surely lose our way. In the past few weeks I have really been trying hard to make it to Mass each day, like we used to do before Paul’s accident. Our lives have become so full again with lots of assorted activities outside of our jobs and I have found it very hard to get up so early in the morning. I have also been experiencing more migraine headaches lately. I have tried to remember that Paul would still get up and try to function each day with his constant headaches and that has sometimes been the ‘push’ I needed to get up and get ready. Other times I would ask Jon at night to keep after me until I actually sat up and got going. I have tried the ‘guilt’ tactic on myself, the pep talk, the promise of coming back home and sleeping for a half hour before going to work, the reminder of how Jesus suffered and surely my fatigue did not compare………………sometimes it would help, but lately, I have been so tired from all that is going on in our lives, with the added lack of sleep from my migraines, nothing was getting me out of bed. So, I talked to a priest about it and said that I could not believe my lack of discipline and how I should be the first one showing up each morning. My sons were alive and healthy, I have a grandchild on the way, I have a loving husband, a steady income, a nice home, incredible friends and family. The priest reminded me that I should ask myself how I would like it if God told me that He didn’t have time to take care of my needs today, but would try to get back to me in a couple of days or so. Jesus has invited us to be with Him every day and to receive the gift of His body and blood and the graces that brings. There is no more beautiful gift on earth. Of course, I know this to be true, but hearing this priest talk about it helped me have a true desire to be with Jesus each day. While getting up each morning is a discipline, the desire to be with Jesus was there. Oh what a battle between the flesh and the spirit. I am so weak a person and I cannot believe how easy it is to lose a discipline. For me anyway! So, all this is leading to what happened to me this morning. I had a really bad migraine which had me awake at 4:00 A.M. Jon gets up at 4:00 each morning and says the rosary, reads the news online, brings me a cup of coffee, then gets his shower. His discipline is exemplary. I always try to attain just a little of it, but seem to fail miserably. I am not a 4 A.M. kind of person. Nor a 5, 6 or 7. Eight is good.
Anyway, I was up and asked Jon if he would bring me an aspirin with my cup of coffee. I fell asleep before he came back upstairs and so did not even hear him bring my coffee. He was getting ready to leave and I heard him walk into the room. I looked at the clock and it was 5:50. It was almost too late for me to get to church on time. I asked him why he had not gotten me up and he said that he knew I was feeling poorly and he felt I needed to sleep more than anything since I had a long day ahead of me with everyone coming home for the weekend. I almost stayed in bed, but then I knew I would have so much more peace in my day if I made it to Mass. I sat up in bed to see if I could handle the pain in my head and there was a dried rose petal on the side of my pillow. I picked it up and told Jon that apparently, someone wanted me at Mass that day. I thought to myself that it must be Mary or St. Therese. The rose petal must have fallen out of the book we are using for the devotion of the Consecration to Mary. It is a 30 day novena and we are on day 16. I have been reading this book for 16 days now and I had not ever noticed the rose petal in it. But it finally must have fallen out the night before and landed on my pillow. That is the only way I can think of it being there. (I have saved rose petals from the garden outside the adoration chapel at Corpus Christi and placed them in my Magnificat prayer book, but I haven’t done it in years. At some point, I must have placed one in this devotional book .) So, I got up and raced as fast as I could to get ready in time. Amazingly, the priest had also overslept and so I was not late. The absolutely best part was when I opened my Magnificat book and saw that it was the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I got tears in my eyes from the joy I felt in that moment. Our sweet Blessed Mother had helped me up this morning and I thanked her over and over for her help. I knew instantly that it was her because we are right in the middle of our Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which will be finished on December 8th. That is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Of course it would be Mary who would help me come to be with Her Son, Jesus! Then, in his homily, Father quoted St. Therese! So, it looks like I was tag-teamed!

I have been running on empty, but with God’s grace, will get back on track.

That brings me to some very exciting news. Last Saturday, we went to Michael’s end of the season Sports Award Banquet. He has been running cross country at college. He joined the team because he had started running last Summer and wanted to continue running. He was not expected to be much of a runner because he had had no prior experience or training. It turns out that after all those years of being chased by James and staying out of reach of the ‘strike zone’, Michael is a decent runner. He has been the #2 man on the team. Last Saturday, the team came back from their last run of the season and Michael greeted us with the statement, “Your boy is going to Kansas City.” He then told us that he had just finished running the qualifying race to the National Junior Olympics! He was the 20th runner to finish, which was the cut off. He had fallen too! His coaches told us that they were so happy with his ability and said that we should be so proud of him since he had no prior experiences. They are going to be working with him to help him do his best at the final meet. He will need to be in the top 25 to be recognized on the national level. While he may not make that goal, he may now be eligible to receive an athletic scholarship next year. I cannot tell you who was more excited about all this – Michael or his parents. We were so shocked. As we were saying goodbye to him to come back home, we were talking about our faith and how many blessings we have received. I told Michael to be sure to pray and thank God for all He has done for him. He told us that he says his rosary every day and then said, “I was on my knees praying the rosary this morning before I ran.” I hugged him so hard and told him I was more happy to hear that than hearing about his going to the National Junior Olympics. It will be his praying the rosary that will keep him from ‘Running on Empty.”

On Friday, we will be driving to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament so Paul can play his guitar for the nuns. They asked us to be there at 2:30. Paul has been practicing a lot and today called me to tell me some really good news. He said he all of a sudden remembered some of the training he had received a couple of years ago, and it has helped him play with a more fluid movement. He immediately showed Jon and me as soon as we got home from work. It was really neat to see him so enthused about it. There was a lot of chaos when we got home because James had just pulled into the driveway also, and there was a lot of hugging going on. James brought home 3 students from Ave Maria – his girlfriend Shannon, and Joe and Lillian (brother and sister). Right after we all walked inside, Paul pulled out his guitar to show Jon and me what he remembered. He played the songs really well. He truly is ready to play his songs for the nuns.

He continually is improving in the level of headache pain and the frequency. We have dropped one prescription drug that he took twice a day and have dropped a dose of the other prescription pain medication. He occasionally will take an Advil to get him over the pain of a headache and the headache levels are no higher than 5. He is also not wearing his sunglasses as much. Each day he wears them less and less. On Sunday, Jon and I were asked to bring up the gifts at the Offertory. After the gifts were taken from us, Father Paddy took our hands and blessed us, then said, “I saw Paul at the 5 o’clock Mass last night and his eye looks grand. He is looking so much better, praise be to God.” We have had so many people tell us how wonderful he is looking. When I think back to July and our first visit to the Shrine, Paul has improved a great deal. I am sure the nuns will be so pleased to see how far he has recovered since that time. A visible sign of prayers being answered.

We wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving day. May you feel His love pouring out from heaven, bringing you peace and joy.

Love,
The Fidero Family

11 / 11 /05 - 11 / 11 / 07

With grateful hearts we celebrated the 2nd year anniversary date of Paul's accident. There was a blessed peacefulness throughout the day.

Thanks be to God, His angels and saints, and to you, all our brothers and sisters in Christ for the prayers that have kept Paul alive and moving toward more recovery each day.

Peace to all of you and your families,
With great love,
Jon and Rebecca

Makes Me Want to Shout

In the days following Paul's accident, Jon and James had to go back to school and they asked me to keep the blog going so they would know what was going on. So when I started to write the information, I was doing it with the thought that my family and a few close friends were reading it. Once I learned so many others were reading it, I told Jon I wasn't sure I could continue it because it made me nervous to know it was being read by complete strangers. He told me to just write what was in my heart and thoughts and God would take care of the rest. I immediately thought that I should temper the statements about our Catholic faith and make it more generic so that I would not offend anyone. I mean, complete strangers were reading and I didn't want to 'hit them over the head' with our faith and values. But what kept coming to mind was that it wasn't so much our story anymore, it was God's story. Plain and simple. The way this story spread and with hundreds of people praying for our family - that became the next miracle after God spared Paul's life. We got personal emails from young people who were thanking us for helping them in their search for faith, or just restoring their faith. We had strangers come up and introduce themselves and they would let us know how wonderful it was to read the blog and it filled them with renewed hope in their own lives. So often, I found myself sitting in front of my computer without a clue of what I would write down. I learned to pray to the Holy Spirit to help my words be what God wanted people to know. It WAS HIS STORY and I would type, He would provide. Because it was His story, I decided that I would not make it a crowd pleaser. I would write God's story in its fullest and with the truths we have learned in Scripture and God's word to His people. I wanted everyone to know the everlasting love of God for his children and how we are all connected as one body in Christ. It was a truth we were learning day after day. So often, the words of John Paul II have helped me get through the days and months of Paul's slow recovery process. BE NOT AFRAID. I would repeat them and follow them with JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU. I continue to work hard to live by those words and yes, I fail often. But I will continue to persevere in my attempt because I have been changed.

I have asked myself, "Why would anyone continue to read this blog? Why do they hang on to this slow moving story?" Maybe, it is because Paul's recovery is something tangible and real. It is measurable. With the onslaught of attacks against Christianity in our world today, stories like this help keep us renewed in hope and trust. Ours is only one of many. It is one that has shown how much love people possess and are capable of sharing. It has been a story of incredible charitable acts. We have been made aware of other people's struggles and we consider ourselves so blessed that God has personally invited us to help others make it through struggles with more prayers and loving actions. So often, we keep our religious lives quietly tucked away and separate from our secular life. We keep our love of God confined to our faith communities and then stay quiet when we are out in the world. We hear so much in the media that ridicules those who are trying to share the truth and enormity of God's love for us. Christianity is being attacked from so many directions and there does not seem to be a loud response in defense of God's love and truth. I found myself guilty of this too. I tempered all the love , the joy, the hope and trust I was experiencing, with guarded conversation. Why do we do that? When we have been a witness to so many miracles, why are we guarded in our interactions with the secular world? Be Not Afraid comes to my mind again. God graced us with a very full knowledge that He would not abandon us in the days following Paul's accident. We actually were able to feel His peace and love surrounding us, even though we were told Paul had no chance of living. We felt so blessed that God took our family by the hand and asked us to keep a prayerful vigil with Jesus at Gethsemane, asked us to walk side by side with Jesus at Calvary. He asked us to trust in His everlasting love and gave us the joy of knowing we would not be abandoned. In the darkest hours, we felt His presence. Those who have been graced with intense suffering, prayerfully will have knowledge of the joy that will follow. So I ask myself, "Why would we not share that joy, that incredible and immense joy of God's love, with everyone we encounter?" Why do we not come right out and say that if it were not for God, we are nothing.? I know who I was before this accident and I know I would not have chosen me to be the one to write about God’s love. What I now know is that God will take a ‘weak link’ and will use it for His purpose. That way, everyone will know it was His might and power that accomplished the task at hand. The key is, all I had to do was say yes. I saw Blessed Mary’s example of “Yes” to God and tried, in my humble way, to follow that example. And God has not abandoned me. I am not always strong and I sometimes still cry out “Why have you left me alone to handle this?” I sometimes feel real sadness when I think about how Paul will never return to exactly the person he was. I feel real sadness when I think that he may never reach full independence and no parent wants to see that for their children. In these times of despair or fear, His word comes to me and I am renewed in hope and trust.

In answer to my previous questions of why do we stay silent about what we know to be true about God, I read something on Sunday at Mass. I had started this posting on Saturday and then decided to take time to think about whether I should be shouting out at everyone.

“It is perfectly obvious that if I am so blessed by the gifts of the Spirit, that I find my reason, will and emotions made increasingly perceptive of divine currents previously lost to me, I can hardly help acting in a new way. I now discover the view about me and consequently, my manner of life must in some ways be different from before. The vision has come; it cannot simply open my eyes to new things in life without thereby altering that very life itself. Not only shall I find that what seemed to me before to be evil now appears to me to be a blessing; but on that very account, what before I tried to avoid, or having got, tried to be rid of, I shall now accept, perhaps even seek. Similarly, whereas then I was weak, now I am strong; and increase of strength means new activities, new energy put into the old work and finding its way into works altogether new. My emotions, finally, which imperiled and dominated my life, slip now into a subordinate position and while thereby as actively employed as before, are held under discipline. It is clear that the gifts will not leave me where I was before, but will influence my actions as well as alter my vision. This means that I have a new idea as to the means of achieving the full happiness of life. Once upon a time I thought happiness meant comfort; now I see that it means something quite different. I am therefore obliged to change also my idea as to the means and conditions whereby, and in which, happiness can be found.”
Father Bede Jarrett

Can I stay quiet about the everlasting love of God and the joy that it promises?
Not ever. This world has so much suffering and darkness and if we are not the voices in the wilderness, the gift of God’s joy will not be shared. It is too awesome a gift for us to keep to ourselves.

I gladly share my email address with anyone who needs our prayers and love. We have reaped the bounty of the power of your prayers. We joyfully want to share God’s love with you.

God loves all his creation with a passionate love. It is our task to love and cherish creation as God does.

And now about Paul………………smile.
He continues to use his eyes together all day long. He is learning to remember to keep fluid in his left eye so it does not dry out. We are seeing marked improvement, but have noticed the movement up and down are very limited for his left eye. We may need to have an MRI done to see if there is a blockage caused either in the accident, or in one of the reconstructive surgeries. I think that possibly, the doctors never did give much thought to the eye, since most considered it blind or almost. Forge ahead, we will. Paul seems happier about leaving his sunglasses off and we definitely have to get him a pair of regular glasses to protect the left eye at all times, since there is very little movement in the eyelid. The bottom lid is showing a lot more movement than the top lid.

He is still very forgetful. It seems almost as if it is worse. I was able to enjoy a dinner out with Dee Huggins last week and she said that we should not despair, as Chip also went through periods that she felt he had regressed. Then he would come back a little stronger. It is our hope that this is not ‘as good as it gets’ for Paul in that area. It is a real problem for him and is the huge block to his being independent. When I start to get overly concerned about what this will all mean for Paul and the family, I remember that God took over almost 2 years ago. I have to sometimes say this out loud to make it happen – “Rebecca, let go of the steering wheel.” All things in God’s time, with His love. It always brings me peace.

He seems more in tune with his appearance. He actually turned down something sweet last week because he said he needed to watch his weight! He takes time to check out how his hair looks and asked to get a haircut, with very specific ideas about how he wanted it done. He no longer asks for those ugly brown velour pants either! Of course it could be because he has FORGOTTEN about them………..whatever. It works for me……………….smile.

He has about 3 more weeks at Shepherd Pathways. He meets with the vocational director this week to help guide him in choosing his career pathway. We will be following up with his eye doctor for reading glasses. Paul said his left eye doesn’t see as well as his right when he is reading.

His headaches are coming way down and staying there. We rarely see a level 6 or 7 headache anymore. He uses ice packs and exercises his chiropractor taught him to keep an oncoming headache away. If necessary, he will use Tylenol / Advil. He also has been given a new prescription to help the headache and Paul said it worked really well. It is for migraines specifically and it worked well the day Paul had a bad headache. So, through a combination of methods, Paul is doing well. He has been going strong for weeks. Jerry was commenting on how we could never plan anything fun for Paul for the next day because we never knew how he would feel. Now, we plan away and 99% of the time, the events are enjoyed. We are seeing more freedom in many ways. Thanks be to God for that.

With great love, and a loud voice we say,
May God bless you in this day!
Be Not Afraid to be His voice, His hands, His love.
They will know we are Christians by our love.

rafidero@bellsouth.net
fideroj@bellsouth.net


Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Play Me A Song

We had a meeting with the lead therapist at Shepherd Pathways yesterday. We had one last week, so I was a little surprised to have them call us in again. It was to get better clarification about Paul's goal in regards to returing to school. We learned that Paul had some concerns about going back to school and so we were called in to figure out the best way to attain the goal of his returning to college. We were glad to see that Paul was discussing his feelings about his future. The therapist wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page before she started to undertake the task of getting Paul back into school. When she talked to Paul, he seemed very uncertain about going back to school. He had a number of reasons why he didn't think it was the right time. But after we all discussed the obstacles he stated, we all decided that he would audit a class this next semester so that the discipline would be learned first. Then he can take classes for grades. It will make it an easier transition for him. It is very important that he enjoys and understands the process first. He decided he would go back to GSU because he was familiar with the campus. Also, his friend Gabriel attends GSU and they could share their experiences. Gabriel has been back in college for a year and is doing well taking 5 classes. He is so enthusiastic about being back in college and that positive attitude will help Paul as he begins his life again on a campus.

We found out that his reading comprehension is in the high range of 'above average'. That was the one area they needed to check since he will need to understand the material presented to him. They will now focus on other areas to see where he will be eligible for any special needs that the university can offer through the department that helps students with disabilities. The day long neuro-psych evaluation will not be done until next Spring, since he is only auditing a class. Since the test is done once a year, the therapist would rather wait until he has gotten back into college and his brain has continued to heal. That way, when he takes his first classes for grades, they will have a recent evaluation to give the university disability department. They will have an accurate assessment of his special needs at that time.

We were also told that the therapist who has a music degree worked with Paul and was very impressed with his knowledge of music theory and even more excited to see that he has a very trained ear. Even with the hearing loss, Thomas said that Paul showed great ability to hear and analyze music. They talked about other areas in the music industry that Paul might be interested in, now that he doesn't seem to have the passion for performing. Paul said he was interested in researching the career paths available in the area of music. He still loves music, just doesn't have the desire to perform. He will always want to play, but not for others like he used to. After we talked about all this, it was suggested that Paul be given a series of tests that will help the vocational director provide a number of careers to Paul, taking into account his talents and interests. He was very agreeable about taking that approach to helping him set goals for his future. He feels so vague about what he would want to do. One problem is that he has trouble thinking of all the different careers. He has to be given choices. We have seen that he has trouble coming up with solutions on his own. He needs to have choices presented and then will ask everyone else what they think before he makes up his mind. Our hope is that he will become more and more independent in his problem solving and will find the answers without so much assistance in some areas of his life. We are encouraged with the progress we keep seeing and liken it to a turtle race.... Slow and Steady. It is just one day at a time, which of course, is all anyone has!

His guitar teacher said that he was very pleased with the progress Paul made in the last 2 weeks. He is playing more assuredly and quickly. Jon had mentioned to Paul that he was playing well, but not with feeling. He said that Paul immediately played the song again and did exactly what Jon had suggested. At the lesson, Paul was trying so hard to play it well and his teacher commented also that he was playing well, but without emotion. Again, he played it over and was able to do it with more feeling. There is so much to remember and while it will take some time, Paul will have his talent back and will have this gift for life. When God asks Paul to play a song, it will be Paul's prayer of thanksgiving to God. Once again, the question I posed to God, "To what point and purpose?" has been answered with great feeling and clarity.

May God's words to you today be music to your ears.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

As Time Goes By

October 16th
Happy Birthday
Paul - It's been 23
wonderful
years.

(Today's post comes
after these pictures.
I couldn't include them
this morning.)

Paul's
first birthday.

Looks like Jon
is ready to blow
out 23 candles
instead of just one.

























Looking cool........































































Very Cool...........

Psalm 23

I woke up this morning and thought to myself as I lay in the dark, Paul is 23 today. I tried to remember what I was doing at the same time (5 AM) 23 years ago. I remember that Jon was out of town and was due back around 10 AM. As he walked in the door, I told him that I was sure I was going to have 'our daughter' that day. We had been told that this child would be a girl. The technician who did the sonogram swore it was a girl. So, we had this baby's name picked out too. Her name would be Mary Catherine. Needless to say, we were shocked when the doctor announced "It's a boy!" I looked at Jon and the first thing I thought was.......we don't have a name. Three days later, we decided that since our first son was given his dad's first name, our second son would have his dad's second name - Paul. I married Jon Paul and now I had 2 sons, Jon and Paul.

As I continued to think about all this, the thought came to mind - 23rd Psalm. I knew right away which one it was because I had heard it so many times in my life. I imagine just about everyone knows it by now. But I felt compelled to get up out of bed, get my bible and read it.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want;
he makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of my enemies;
thou annointest my head with oil,
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
____________

I reflected on these words and found peace - once again.
It is full of the promise of God's love for all of us. The valley of the shadow of death may denote the most severe trial or affliction, but the next words bring us comfort. For believers in God, it is only a walk through the valley, and they will not be lost in it. The promise is the mountain on the other side. God will tend to our needs as we walk through. Also, valleys are usually very green and fruitful. I can't help but think that while our lives take us through the valleys, it can be a time for great growth spiritually. In these times of sorrow or affliction we become very aware of the presence of God in our life. He lays us down in green pastures and He leads us beside still waters. I experienced this very vividly in the months following the accident. I was never so aware of God's peace and presence. I know that I have grown immensely in my faith and trust in the promise of God's love. The valleys should not be something to fear. They are paths of righteousness and God is with us. I visualized the path we have traversed and it has been fruitful indeed.

It reminded me of the time when I was also 23 years old. I decided to move to California from Houston and with $20 in my pocket and a gas credit card, I took off in my little red Toyota. God truly was by my side, as I was too young to think about the dangers of that trip! I didn't tell my parents until I was on my way. I knew every word they would say to me, so I waited until I was a good distance away before I had to have that conversation. ( To all young people who may be reading this..............it was a very thoughtless, reckless thing to do and it is by the grace of God I got there safely. It was a few months later that a co-worker told me about her friend's sister who did not make it safely.) But there is one vision I will never forget about that trip. As I was driving 50 m.p.h. through the desert in southern Arizona, in the afternoon on a very hot day in August, I was genuinely afraid about how alone I was. I had a gallon of water for my radiator and a gallon of lemonade for me. I was told to keep my heater running to help keep the engine cool. I had the windows down and the air blowing in the windows was no relief at all. I was praying like a mad fool, begging God to keep me safe and deliver me to the shores of the Pacific. It was about 5 P.M. and in the distance there seemed to be a long line of darkness on the horizon. I was not sure what it was, but as I kept driving I noticed that it was getting taller, ever so slowly. The highway was flat ahead of me and it seemed to go on forever. But this darkness on the horizon had my attention. After awhile I realized it was the mountain range that separated Arizona and California. Watching those mountains loom ahead of me made my fear lesson. I had a focus - I was almost there. I was within sight of my destination. Just like our 'dark valleys' in life, we are not lost in them, but our faith in God's promise to us, help us hold fast to the comfort of the mountain on the other side. As those mountains got closer and loomed higher above me, I felt no fear, but only pure joy. As my little car wound its way through the mountains, the air was very cool and I could enjoy the fresh air blowing all around me. I thanked God over and over for helping me arrive safely and for the beauty of those mountains. I was very much aware of the presence of God on that trip West. And I am very much aware of God's presence on this trip West with Paul.

The mountains are looming ahead of us. Paul is benefiting from his therapy at a place called Shepherd Pathways.............funny old world isn't it?? That he is at Shepherd Pathways on his 23rd birthday..........

We had a meeting with his therapists and they are very encouraged with the progress he is making. They told us about a group of optometrists who specialize in neuro patients who have suffered traumatic injuries to the eyes. They are making an appointment for Paul because they believe he will benefit from their experience. Paul's left eye has made great progress in keeping up with his right eye movements. He does his eye therapy everyday and uses only his left eye for computer work and reading. He wears sun glasses that have been taped on the right side, to force the muscles in the left eye to work harder. When he looks at me, he will stare for a moment and then says, "I see only one". It doesn't last a long time, but he is able to get the focus for a few moments.

His testing so far has shown he is working on at least a 12th grade level. There are more tests they will be running to get a full assessment of his cognitive skills. He will also be given tests to help him determine his talents, strengths and weaknesses. He can use this to help guide him into a career other than music if that is what he wants. He isn't sure about music, but we think it is because he feels inadequate with his playing ability. He plays slower than before, but his teacher feels he should be able to gain back his skills fairly quickly - maybe as little as 3 months.

He will finish his physical therapy this week. He is strong physically, but needs to get back to the gym for consistent workouts. He will be going to an office supply store this week to get a DayRunner organizer. They are going to work with him in scheduling his own time each day and not wait to be told what he will be doing next. He is going to write in his appointments and therapies, work schedules and social activities for the week. He will be working on telling us what his schedule is, not the other way around. They are trying to get him back to the days before the accident, where his life was his own and he made his own plans. The long term goal will be to get him ready for the battery of tests they will need to do to prove he is able to drive a car very safely. I know I will be praying like a mad fool again, the day he starts to drive again! I will have to keep the vision in my mind of God being his Shepherd, just as He was with me my long trip to the West.

This past weekend, Jerry took Paul to Birmingham to see the play, "Phantom of the Opera". Paul had a fantastic time and talked so much about the music. He really enjoyed the fact that the orchestra was right there in front of the stage. He said he could not help but watch the conductor as he synchronized the music to the acting. He was really fascinated by that. It is when he talks about music that I know he still has a passion for it. I think he is just overwhelmed with the whole concept of college. But God will be his Shepherd.

May goodness and mercy follow you as you dwell in the house of the Lord today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

'Son'spot

It has been a very good week and we topped it off yesterday evening with this great sign of our hope. Mr. Sutherland found a beautiful classic guitar for Paul and the sound of it has filled our home. Paul has been practicing a lot and it is nothing but pure joy for me to listen to it each evening while I am getting dinner ready. Paul got the guitar on Saturday and on Sunday night I was upstairs in the hallway and heard him playing a familiar song. I couldn't think of the name of it, so I waited until he was done playing and I came downstairs and asked him what the name was. He said, "It's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. I want to learn it so that I can play it for the nuns at the Shrine." He told me it was not the song that he was assigned to learn. He will work on both of them though. We are very excited to take him back to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament when he is ready! We hope to go in November. I just remembered that on Thanksgiving day, it will be exactly 2 years since Paul woke up from his coma. How awesome is God's time? In hindsight, I can see I had such little faith at the start of all this. I remember wondering what God was thinking of back then. Why would he give Paul the beautiful gift of music talent and then take it all away? I was so grateful Paul was alive, but later on, I really questioned why Paul had been given a great deal of talent, then to have it taken away. Paul was injured so badly that I really had my doubts that he might ever play again. Once he was able to verbalize more about all that hurt him, he pointed to his left arm and hand and said it felt numb and tingling. I remember it hurt him to have us touch his left hand, hence my questioning of his ability to play music again. Looking back, I can see that he has regained a good deal of his ability to play and I have gained the knowledge that praying without ceasing brings the peace of Christ, no matter what is happening. When I would be consumed with fear about the long term prospects for Paul, I would let it go and pray with great fervency until my heart and mind were at peace. I am the #1 worrier - ask Jon. He told me once that the day I quit worrying will be the day I die. God, in His mercy, has taken the last 2 years to teach me to let it go and let His will be done. I am a work - in - progress. But I can look back and see the growth. Praise be to God, I really needed some help to change my lack of trust.

Yesterday, we were driving home from Shepherd Pathways and it was pouring rain. Traffic was really bad because of 3 major accidents in the city and lots of cars from the freeways were taking any alternate route they could find. We were stuck in the side street traffic jams. It was a great time for Paul and I to talk about all the therapies he was receiving from Shepherd. He was talking about how they are using electrical stimulation therapies on his face to help with the muscle tone around his mouth. They taught him excercises to do at home too. He said that they also are working to help him gain more balance and use a number of different approaches to test where he has trouble. He said he can keep his balance very well when he places his right foot in front of his left foot. But he has trouble when his left foot is placed directly in front of his right. He has to walk with his eyes closed, with one eye then the other and then as he is turning his head from side to side. They have him looking at different objects around the room as he is walking. He said that it is very helpful and he has not complained once about how silly the therapy is. I remember him really ranting on about the silly things he had to do when he was at Emory, getting physical, occupational and speech therapy. He said they always talked to him like he was stupid. It made him very angry to have silly things to do, like cook a hamburger or organize the kitchen shelves. He made us laugh so hard once when he said they were using him to get some of their cleaning done for them. He didn't understand they were trying to establish a base line for his level of ability. He really hated those 5 weeks at Emory. Unlike that time, he is quite fascinated with what they are doing with him now. He seems to understand clearly, there is a point and a purpose to all this. He really wants to gain his independence and sees this will be a necessary step in achieving that goal.

So yesterday as we drove home he talked about how much he hopes that he will have full function of his eye. He prays so much for the recovery of his facial nerve. As we came into the neighborhood, we were praying for the full deal. We prayed that God would bring the recovery of his facial nerve and also for his hearing to return. I mentioned that we would not limit God and we placed it all in His loving hands. We prayed for the strength to accept God's answer, no matter the outcome. As we pulled into Jerry's driveway to get Abby, the picture above is what we saw. God is too awesome in my opinion. Paul and I sat there watching these rays of sunshine as the rain kept pouring around us, glistening in the light. God will lead us on His pathway and will light the way for us to see His glory.

Jesus, He is our heart's desiring. Amen.

Love,

Jon and Rebecca

In The Shadows

( I wanted to get this posted yesterday, Oct 2, but had to wait until Jon could save the picture I needed from my camera. As always, had to wait for some technical support!)

October 2, 2007

Today is the feast of our Guardian Angels. It follows the feast this past Saturday of the Archangels St. Michael, St. Raphael and St. Gabriel. I have remembered, most especially today, how our nephew James, calmly stated to his mother, "My angel just left me to go to Paul" as they were praying in the hospital chapel the night of Paul's accident. On their way home, hours later, James just as calmly stated, "My angel just came back and Paul is going to be fine. There are a lot of angels in his room." It was absolute confirmation for me that we are guarded by angels throughout our lives and that we have any number of them entrusted to our care. I heard it said that when you say a prayer for someone, an angel is sent to their side. I'm surprised there was room for all of those that must have been sent that night, as there were so many brothers and sisters in Christ who offered up a prayer for Paul and our family!

Yesterday was the feast of St. Therese of the Child Jesus. In the early morning, I was praying the rosary and noticed a sun spot on the wall opposite me. It was low on the wall, below the picture of Jesus. I thanked Him for the little signs of His presence and smiled as I read, "Unless you change and become like little children, says the Lord, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 18:3) I thought about how children are not too busy in their lives to stop and notice all the wonders of God's world around them. They are so much more observant and are so easily enthralled with all that God offers us in nature. It is always so enjoyable watching a child discover something new and how they intently observe it. Like a child, I sat contentedly and observed this beautiful ray of light as it moved ever so slowly and how the room continued to be illumined by the rising sun. I was so happy that I didn't miss this ray of light, nor the solitude of the moment. Some minutes later, I decided to go into our dining room to look out the windows of the french doors, as that is where the rays of the sun were coming in. It was a very serene picture before me - how the sun came filtering through the trees. After a few more minutes, I turned to leave and noticed how the sun was also casting shadows on the wall as it came shining through the branches of the trees. My eye was then drawn to another shadow on the wall. It was caused by a statue I have of the Holy Family that was given to me years ago by my sister Mary Beth. I felt so blessed to be present at this exact moment to catch the shadow it cast. There was the Child Jesus raised high by Joseph and Mary – the focal point of the shadow. It was my visual aid to confirm we need to remain in constant awe of the amazing signs of God's love in our lives, just like children. Their examples of complete trust and joyful hope are what God wants us to have. As adults, we have suffered so many disappointments in our lives, that somewhere along the line we lose those child-like qualities. The real gift is to regain that trust and hope and continue to persevere in our attempt to accept that God will answer our prayers. Like children, we need to hold onto our trust in God, waiting in joyful hope for Him to lead us closer to our real home in heaven. But as adults, accepting the truth that our prayers will be answered in His way and in His time. I continue to learn these lessons of truly accepting that some of God’s answers will be known and some won’t. Some answers are immediate and bring joy, others are long awaited and not the answer I had preconceived. Most importantly, if I strive to completely trust in God’s love for me, I won’t despair because the answer will bring greater love of God and the graces needed to become more virtuous.

Each week, we see new ways that Paul continues to improve. His humor is becoming more and more like himself and he continues to remember more of his past. He gets so excited when he realizes that he has recovered more or relearned something. Today he was thrilled that his lower eyelid actually quivered as he struggled to make the left side of his face respond. He also felt the left side of his nose move and I was able to see it at the same time. We both responded at the same time. I said, “I see it moving!!!” and he stated excitedly, “I feel it moving – do you see it?!!” It is so much fun to be with him when moments like that happen.

He attends Shepherd Pathways 3 times a week and said that they are doing so much with him. They have balance machines and exercises that help him gain confidence in his movements. They are working with him in his facial paralysis and teaching him exercises that will improve muscle tone. He is learning to speak so that he annunciates his words so he will speak more clearly. They are also doing eye therapy to help strengthen the left eye. Paul is going without the tape on his eye many more hours each week. He really wants to gain use of his eyes again. The best part is that he is really not experiencing such intense headaches. He will relate with such joy the fact that he didn’t have to take pain medicine for many hours at a time. Yesterday, it was 12 hours before he needed to take some Advil and he had really had a lot of eye exercises in his therapy sessions. Those exercises can bring on a headache because he is having to struggle to focus with both eyes, which are not working in sync at this time. So it was great news for him to get through the hours of therapy and not have an intense headache. He is very aware now of his progress in so many areas of recovery. He is keeping track of it and remembering it from day to day. If there is an area of high interest, he has no trouble remembering things from day to day. Other times, he can’t remember something from hours before, but that means it was not important to him and he didn’t commit it to memory. He knows that he is very forgetful and he will pointedly work to remember things when he wants to. He will repeat things to himself 3 to 4 times in a row and out loud as a way to remember a time or event. So he is really aware now of this limitation of memory.

His music is going very well. He works everyday at it and wants to show Mr. Sutherland that he remembers quite a bit. After this last lesson on Saturday, Jon said Mr. Sutherland was very encouraged about how much Paul remembered and said he expects Paul to be back on track within 3 months. At his first lesson, Paul was told to review the methods book by Christopher Parkening. At the second lesson, Paul showed he understood all that he reviewed. Mr. Sutherland said he was happy to see they could start much further along than he imagined. Mr. Sutherland said he is amazed at how far Paul has come in recovery, especially since he had last heard Paul would probably not live. It is amazing how much progress has been made and we firmly believe it was a result of all the prayers that have been lifted up by so many for these past 23 months. It is a miracle.

Jon and I were talking about the fact that in these last 23 months, we have been made aware of 5 people who have not survived their accidents that caused a brain injury. After Paul lived, we kind of thought that most people do survive and maybe it wasn’t as bad after all, as the doctors had told us. But now, we have become aware of the fact that a lot of people do die from brain injuries and with less impact than Paul experienced. It brings home the fact that God answers prayers, but always in His way and for His reasons. There is a point and a purpose always. We just may not know the reasons. That is our call to faith and trust. I don’t know why so many others have died in these last 2 years from their brain injuries. I believe though that Paul’s life and the huge amount of recovery is a miracle. I have asked myself more than once if I would have had as much faith, hope and trust in God if Paul had died. I can’t know for sure, but I would like to think so. I remember how I reached a point in those first hours where I honestly told God that Paul had been a gift to me from Him and so as a gift, I offered Paul back in thanksgiving for the love I shared with my son. I felt great peace in that. I believe that God would have provided the strength to endure that outcome also, just as He has provided all we needed to endure all these months of watching Paul suffer so much. We are always given what we need to complete God’s mission for us. Yes, I trust in that.

Paul is going to work on learning a classical guitar song so that he can go to the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament and play for the nuns. He hopes to go there very soon. A fine goal to be sure! The best part is that he set the goal himself.

“As Jesus and His disciples were proceeding on their journey, someone said to him, “I will follow you where ever you go.” Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.” And to another he said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.” But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.” And another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” Jesus answered him, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62)

Following Jesus means to do it on His terms, so that the ‘favoring hand of our God’ leads us.
Your love is better than life dear Jesus, so I will sing your praise!

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Going Back To Houston

Could it possibly be that Paul is finally heading due West? We have been told that he does not need to come back to Charlotte for any more surgeries, as the shunt is working. It has been set on the lowest setting possible and is relieving pressure in his brain. Dr. McLanahan said that there is really nothing more that he can do and the ventricles have reduced in size. They are not as small as he would like to see them, but they are a lot better. He said that there is a possibility that Paul will eventually not need the shunt. He is very borderline in his dependency on the shunt and over time, may outgrow his need for it. Paul will follow up with him in December for one more visit and then he will be referred to another neurosurgeon Dr. McLanahan knows here in Atlanta for any follow up appointments.

In these last 22 months, we have seen a lot of different doctors. If someone was suggested, we have made an appointment with them to see if we could get an answer to the issue of Paul's headaches. In May of 2006, we had taken Paul to a chiropractor. He saw Dr. Talley only one time because Paul had to have another surgery for the hydrocephalus. We never made it back. At that appointment, xrays showed that Paul's cervical spine was out of alignment. It was very visible. We were going to start a program of treatment, but got side tracked. Last month, I remembered this doctor again and decided it was worth a try to see if he could help us in anyway. I knew that the cervical spine had probably not mended itself. Jerry took Paul to this appointment and said that Dr. Talley remembered Paul very well and was so impressed with his present condition. He took a lot of time with Paul and gave him a number of excercises to do at home and also gave him some ice packs to use. He told Paul to try using an ice pack for headaches before reaching for pain medicine and showed him where to place the ice pack. After this initial appointment, Paul said that his shoulder was hurting a lot less. He mentioned a few days later that his headaches were not spiking so high in pain. When they were bad, it was only on a level of about 5-6, not 8-9. Jerry told me that one evening, Paul was over at his house and asked Jerry for some Tylenol. Jerry reminded him about the ice pack and Paul got one and rested for a little bit. 20 minutes later, he came into the computer room and with a look of happiness, told Jerry it actually worked. His headache was much better. Paul has been back to see Dr. Talley again and will see him for a few more treatments. I will admit to you, I am a claims adjuster and I handle the bodily injury portion of the accidents. I have not had a very high regard for the chiropractic profession as a whole because there is a lot of fraud involved. I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement. Heck, there is a lot of fraud in every profession, but in my line of work there is fraud that involves attorney and chiropractors. In fact, behind the illegal drug activity in our country, insurance fraud is the number 2 illegal activity. Unfortunately, it made me very skeptical and I was reluctant to take Paul to one.

Like so many other times in my life, I have learned another valuable lesson. I was using a very wide paintbrush in labeling innocent people as being dishonest, not legitimate. God brought another person into our lives to help Paul and I truly believe, to show me my prejudice. One more time, God has reminded me to be very careful of my tendency to quickly judge others. I have been given another chance to try to conform my will to God's. Oh, how He loves His children! Patiently He teaches and waits. Praise be to God.

Paul is really doing so much better with the lessoning of his headaches. He forgot to take his 3:00 PM medicine and when he remembered later, I asked him if he was suffering any pain from missing it. He said no, he was feeling fine and in fact, had not had to take Tylenol or Advil since early that morning. We decided to drop that afternoon medication since we had tried before to wean him from it. It has been determined it was not really going to help him, but he had to be withdrawn from it slowly. The 2 times we have tried before, his headache would be very intense. Looks like we have finally reached a stage where we can do it! Paul was pretty excited about not having to remember an afternoon medication. He is now taking only his morning and night time meds. He is also not having to take over the counter medications as often. This has all come about after only 2 appointments with Dr. Talley. I truly stand corrected!!

It was so cool what happened on Sunday. I had to get some gas and groceries because I ran out of time on Saturday. I did a quick shopping and was trying to get to the house to wish Paul well at his first guitar lesson. I knew I wasn't going to get there in time and I called Jon. He reminded me I had the checkbook and they needed it in case Mr. Sutherland had a guitar that Paul could purchase. I said I would meet them at the corner drugstore that was on their way and right down the street from where I was at that moment. We met and I hugged Paul and told him to remember that God was leading him on this pathway and to give it all he had. He was so excited about his lesson and his smile could not have been any more joyous. They drove away and I ducked into the drug store to get a few more items. I was standing in the check out line and an elderly man behind me asked me if that was my penny on the floor. I looked down at my feet and sure enough, there was a penny to my right. I told him that while it wasn't MY penny, it was meant for me. I told him that it was God's way of asking me if I trusted Him. He laughed and said he liked that idea. I told the man I was growing in greater trust every day!
How much has changed for us. One year ago I was still tending to so many of Paul's needs. He was still weak and bed ridden with headaches. We could not plan anything for the next week, nor even the next day back then. We never knew how well Paul would feel. I was planning his birthday party last year, with the great hope Paul would be able to attend! And in that moment in the drug store, my mind was filled with the joy of knowing Paul felt better, his headaches reducing in intensity and he was going to be working on his music with his dad and favorite teacher by his side. I left the drugstore and was stopped for a red light. As I prayed in thanksgiving, a butterfly flew past my windshield, turned and flew back again. I was smiling so big-time and it made one more pass across my front windshield - How awesome, how God!

The lesson went very well and Mr. Sutherland reminded Paul that it once again, it would all depend on the effort Paul would give. He also told Paul that he was working on a new teaching methodology book and he was going to use Paul as his 'guinea pig'. He said he had a lot of hope about Paul's ability and even felt that it would come back quicker than Paul knew. He said he was so happy to see Paul doing so well. He said he was very surprised getting Paul's telephone call because he had been told a couple of years ago that Paul was probably not going to live. He had not heard any more information after that. He was so glad to see this outcome instead!

Is Paul finally heading West? At this moment he is. His dear friend Geneva has moved to Houston to teach and she has kept in touch with Paul. They were dating at the time of the accident, but Paul does not remember those 3 months. He does not remember her except in small snip-its. There were long stretches when he did not remember she had called. He saw her the week before she moved to Houston and a couple of weeks ago she called Paul and they talked for a good while. I told Paul how they used to talk to each other every night and prayed together. I told him that they had started the month-long prayers for consecrating themselves to Mary, but that the accident happened in the middle of that. Geneva went on to pray the prayers of that devotion for Paul while he was in his coma. He said that was so awesome of her to do and so he asked her if they could do it again this November. In the meantime, they started a 9 day novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help. It is a blessing that Paul has the friendship of this wonderful young lady after all this time. It was so kind of her to stay in touch with Paul, especially after it became evident he did not remember her. He does not remember most of the things in the 3 months before and 4 months after his accident. Every once in awhile there will be a glimpse of memory for him, but at this time, it is mostly a void. I trust God had his reasons.

Paul has said more than once that he truly must have had a "Come to Jesus" meeting while he was in a coma. Guess what Paul - you are not the only one!

God bless you and keep you surround with His love and protection,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Guitar Man

As you may remember, a little over a month ago we were blessed with meeting the nuns at the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament in Alabama. Pat Denton and Carol Garrison were the 2 women who took us over there. In the days following, Pat invited us to attend a surprise birthday party for Carol. Jon and Paul were going to be in Charlotte and would not be back in time to attend. I did go and it was at that party that I met a woman I recognized from St. John Newmann church. It was years ago, while Fr. Jack was at that parish that I had seen this woman and her family. I was introduced to her and we struck up a conversation. We got to the topic of music because her girls are very musically talented and her one daughter was thinking about applying to the school of music at Georgia State University. I said that Paul had been in the school of music at that same school before his accident. I said he had been blessed by God because he had an incredible teacher, John Sutherland. She said that her daughter had been taking lessons from him since she was young. I was so excited that she knew who I was talking about and then said that her daughter must be a truly gifted musician since she has trained with this teacher for so long! I then told her the story of how he had influenced Paul's life.

In the summer after Paul's freshman year at college, he decided to audition for the school of music. Paul had been a big fish in a small pond at Parkview High School. He was an excellent electrical guitarist and he wanted to transfer that talent to the classical guitar. He practiced in the 2 months before that audition and went to the audition with a fair amount of confidence. He was to play in front of some of the teachers from the school of music. He called me right after his performance and told me what happened. He said that right after he played his song, one teacher basically shut him down. He was very sharp in his criticism and said Paul didn't belong in the school of music. It was John Sutherland who spoke up in Paul's defense and said he saw some raw talent and he would take Paul under wing and be his personal teacher. He said that Paul was basically a diamond in the rough.

What is so amazing about this is that John Sutherland has been called the "Dean of Guitarists" and "one of the finest teachers in the United States". He studied with Andre Segovia and Christopher Parkening. His transcriptions were used by Christopher Parkening in recording of "Simple Gifts". His students have been prize winners in the National Federation of Music Clubs Competition, Music Teachers National Association, and the American String Teachers Association. Three of the twelve students at the final Segovia Master Class studied with John Sutherland at the University of Georgia. He has served as adjudicator and clinician throughout the United States. I am not telling you all of this to brag in any way. It is with total amazement that our son was even near someone of this caliber! The chance meeting of these 2 people is still amazing to me to this day. It is one of the reasons that I still believe Paul was meant to do something with his talent. I know Jon continues to hold out great hope that Paul will play as well as he used to.

So back to Paul's telling me about his audition. Paul was so excited to know he would have John Sutherland as a teacher and he worked very hard to please him. He said he loved the fact that he couldn't fool this teacher at all. If Paul had not practiced as long and hard as he was expected to, Mr. Sutherland would know it instantly. Paul could fool some of the other students. The students were asked to critique each other and they would say that Paul had played very well. Mr. Sutherland would ask Paul directly, "Paul, how do you think you played." Paul on one occasion said that he played very poorly and admitted he had not put in the necessary time. Mr. Sutherland thanked him for being honest and he agreed with Paul's opinion - he had played poorly that day. Paul said he didn't want Mr. Sutherland to say that again, and he worked harder. When they first started working together, Mr. Sutherland told Paul he could hardly wait to show the teacher who criticized Paul so much at the first audition, just how talented Paul was. He said he could hardly wait until Paul's Senior audition! At the end of that first year, part of the exam would be to play a classical piece of music for the department. Of course, the one teacher was there who had not seen any talent in Paul. After playing his song, Paul looked up and Mr. Sutherland was smiling. The other teacher said something like, "I stand corrected. You do have a talent I did not see." Paul called us and his voice had more joy in it than I had ever heard. I could not believe it either. Jon (husband) said he wasn't surprised at all. He always thought Paul was an exceptional player. He was so very proud of Paul.

It was the next year that Paul decided to try to go for the gusto and try to make it big with a band, playing rock n roll. I was really disappointed with his decision, but prayed harder than ever before for him to find God's will in his life. Then the accident happened and I knew instantly that Mary had taken my prayers to God and they had been answered in a way I would not ever have imagined. While I wanted to see Paul go back to school and stop his pursuit into the music industry on the pathway he was on, I surely didn't want to see it come to a screaming halt. But God knew what was best and I believe that Mary interceded that day and kept Paul from an even worse injury. I believe in my heart that the thousands of prayers said for Paul changed the outcome of his accident.

I have even more confirmation today. That night of the birthday party, after I shared some of this with Cindy, whose daughter also took lessons with John Sutherland, I asked her if she had his phone number. I wanted to call him and talk to him about getting Paul started with some in classical training excercises so that he would have a goal to work toward. She gave me his number and I was thrilled to have it. I talked to Jon about it and he said it was worth a shot. I was not sure John Sutherland would even remember Paul after 2 years. But before I could call him, I lost the piece of paper. Then my mother got sick and has been in the ICU at the hospital 2 times and some other things have come up that have kept me so busy I haven't stopped for a moment. I didn't know Cindy's last name, but I remembered another amazing thing. When Marie's sister came to Atlanta last summer, after accepting a job with Fr. Jack, she lived with us for a few months. She had been her about a month and she was invited to live with a family who lived a lot closer to the parish where she was working. She decided to stay with us, as she was already comfortable here and she had had enough change in her life for awhile after moving to a new city and working at a new job. I learned at the birthday party for Carol, that is was Cindy's family who had invited Anne to live with them! Small, small world we live in. I knew that Anne could give me the phone number to Cindy and I would be able to get John Sutherland's phone number again.

I had not mentioned my intentions to Paul at first because he can become negative about his music very easily. He feels he can't play very well, but he can. He has been playing more and more each week and also plays the piano every day. I watch him get lost in the music for an hour or so at a time and he is oblivious to the world around him while he is playing. So this past Sunday, I talked to him about John Sutherland and I confessed that I was planning on calling him and asking him if he would possibly be interested in helping Paul in any way. I told Paul that I had lost the number and was going to make the calls necessary to get his number again. Paul opened his cell phone and said, "I have it right here. John Sutherland." Jon and I looked at each other and just laughed. I asked Paul if he wanted to call Mr. Sutherland himself or did he want Jon or me to call. He said he would call him. I could not believe Paul was so agreeable about it. He has said a number of times that he didn't want to take lessons from anyone, he could not play anymore.

Paul decided to write down a few things to say first. He said he didn't want to stutter or sound stupid. He got the laptop and wrote down what he wanted to say to Mr. Sutherland. Then he made the phone call. He started out with, "Hello, is this John Sutherland? You may not remember me, my name is Paul Fidero. I was a student of yours at Georgia .....oh, you do remember me? Well, I was in an accident almost 2 years ago and I......yes sir, I am doing much better and I was wondering if I could take personal lessons from you again...... Yes sir, that would be great. But I do have one problem. I don't have a guitar. Do you have any that I could buy? You do? That is fantastic. Okay then, I will call you again on Friday." (The reason Paul doesn't have a classical guitar is because he had been using his brother Jon's and Jon had it with him in Virginia.) The whole time Paul was talking to Mr. Sutherland, I had my hands clasped in prayer and I was looking at the statue of Blessed Mother Mary and begged her to open the heart of Mr. Sutherland and let him say yes to Paul. It was such a huge step for Paul to take because I am sure it has been fear that has kept him from moving forward with his music. I think he is too afraid to face what he may have lost. I started to cry with joy after Paul hung up. I jumped up and hugged him. Then Jon, Paul and I all hugged each other. I was so excited that I didn't know who to call first to share this wonderful news. I said to Paul, " You need to tell Judy, she will be thrilled for you." I thought of her because she always cries when she watches Paul play. Paul's amazing response?? "We have to tell the nuns at the Shrine!!"

Amen, Paul.

Love,
Jon and Rebecca