I have had 2 of the longest weeks and am hopefully getting to the point where I can find the time to sit quietly and write more often. I have found that I miss writing down my thoughts. It has been a great way to sort through where we have been and where we are heading with Paul. Rather than being 'one more thing' I have to do, I really enjoy the time spent writing on this site. It also affords me time to sit and contemplate God's full participation in our lives. So much has happened in this last year and we are only 2 weeks away from the one year mark. I have had so many flash backs to this time last year, how we were as a family last October and how we are now. A main reason for this time of reflection is that I am preparing for a talk I will be giving at a Catholic women's prayer breakfast that is sponsored by Magnificat. I trust that God will bring those he wants to it that morning. Just as He guided me to it years ago. I had seen their notices in the bulletins many times over the years, but never attended. I thought at first, it was a private gathering and not for everyone. Then a couple of years ago, a friend invited me to come and I did. It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. The woman who spoke had an incredible story of faith and I related to it so much that I invited my sister to come to the next one. She also had a great experience. I always looked forward to these Saturday mornings because I have always benefited from the stories of faith that are shared and also because it is a great opportunity to see friends and make new ones. Last year, the Magnificat breakfast was on November 12th. I was signed up to be a hostess at one of the tables. I had been a hostess a number of times before and was really excited about that one because of a well known speaker that would be talking. Also, I was going to be bringing someone with me who had never been before and I wanted her to experience the occasion with me.
But, November 11th, at 4:45 P.M. our life took a turn. At the hospital, I remember sitting in this special room we had been taken into (which I later found out was an area for privacy for families who were going to be getting bad news) and Fr. Paddy was there with us. He was offering words of comfort to us and all of a sudden I remembered I was supposed to be a hostess at the Magnificat breakfast the next morning. I panicked as I realized I had to let someone know soon so that a replacement could be called. Here I was, waiting to hear if my son would live and I was really concerned that someone be told I would not be there. Those around me said not to worry about it, and probably thought silently that it was a weird time to be worrying about it! But Magnificat was important to me and I wanted to make sure that someone would be there to take my place. So I called my friend Patty Palmquist one more time (I had called her right after the accident to ask her to start praying for Paul and our family, knowing she would get the word out to a number of other people who would also pray). She said she would take care of it for me. The next night, a woman I knew and who is part of the Magnificat program, came to the hospital with a bottle of holy water from Lourdes for us to use in blessing Paul. It was the beginning of many such gifts from so many loving and caring people. (Paul's room became a very holy place - there were relics of St. Therese, St. Pio, St. Paul the Apostle, and St. Faustina, along with medals that had been blessed by Pope John Paul II, and the zachetto worn by him at a Mass on December 22, 1996, which Paul wore during a Mass that was celebrated in his room by Fr. Kevin Peek. The outpouring of holy articles and sacramentals was tremendous.) Anyway....we found out that the women at the Magnificat breakfast prayed for Paul also. Then, this past summer, I received an email from Janine, who was the woman who brought the Lourdes holy water to us in the hospital. It was an email sent to a number of people and I was on the distribution list. It was funny that I got that email when I did, because I had just read a few days before that the date for November's Magnificat breakfast was going to be 11/11. I made a mental note that I would not miss that one, so I could give thanks to God for the past year's blessings. Plus, I knew the day might be a tough one emotionally, so I wanted to be with women, in prayerfulness and singing songs of praise. There are only 4 Magnificat breakfasts each year and to have one on the anniversary of Paul's accident got my attention. I answered Janine's email to ask her how she was doing, as I had not been in touch with her in so long. As I was typing to her, the thought came into my mind "Ask her if they need someone to speak on 11/11". It was just a very quick thought that flashed in my mind. I stopped for a moment and said to myself "Absolutely not." I have never been a speaker, have the worst case of nerves when speaking to people I don't know and this was so weird an idea. But it came back to me again and I sat thinking about why this would come to mind. The speakers that I have heard over the years have had huge faith stories and seem to be fairly well known. There have even been priests who have spoken and have incredible stories about their vocations. Again, I decided to ignore so weird a thought. I got ready to send my email to her and was stopped with the rememberance of the night about 6 days after Paul's accident. I was about to go to sleep and I clearly realized that all that was happening to our family was just a part of God's beautiful story. He was reaching so many people through this event and there were so many signs of His hand at work. We were being asked to trust Him and to let His will be done. So, I sat there wondering if He was really asking me to volunteer to tell His story. My hands began to shake with nervousness at the thought of even sending such an email. It was just too bold a thing for me to do. I prefer 'flying under the radar' in life. Even writing this blog was a very tough thing to do once I found out people we didn't know were reading it! So, I said to myself "Why be so nervous - there is no way anyone would take this offer seriously anyway. Send the email in case it is God putting this idea into your head and forget about it. If they think you are crazy - well, what's new?" So I sent a message basically saying that if this might be a story that would be useful, let me know. A number of weeks passed and I had actually forgotten that I had sent the suggestion. I got to work one day and opened my email and was shocked to read that someone would be calling me to discuss it with me! I immediately walked down to my sister's desk (we are so blessed to be able to work together!) and was literally shaking as I told her what might happen. She sent an email out letting the whole family know and telling them her house was open for visitors!
So, I have been busy praying for God to help me write down what is to be heard by those attending that morning and have been hard at work reviewing this blog and organizing my thoughts. And after this past year's lesson in learning how to let go and let God's will be done, I am just about ready for 11/11.
Paul is going to his personal trainer and likes it. Rhonda is so very kind to Paul and with the personal attention, Paul has seen that it is not just more 'rehab' where everyone assumes he is not very smart. He is now very sensitive about that. When I mentioned that maybe we should find a place where they can help him fill in all the gaps mentally and intellectually, like a school for those recovering from brain injuries, he got very defensive and said that he doesn't need someone asking him if he knows if the circle is red or blue. I tried to explain that there are times when he doesn't remember what the meaning of words are and we were thinking that there are going to be gaps in all that he learned over the years and maybe if there is a place that works closely with brain injured people, they could assess more quickly what his needs would be on a number of levels. He was not agreeable to that at all. We have noticed that if something seems too large a topic, he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. Physically he is improving. He is now 152 pounds and with his weekly sessions doing physical endurance workouts, he should progress more effectively. But psychologically, we have some work ahead of us. He is capable of learning anything and remembers so much of his life before the accident. But there seems to be a glitch in his perception of what he should be doing. On one level he believes he is still an invalid and says that "when I get better I will try to do that." We tell him he is better and he makes a list of the things that are not better and therefore he has to wait to try things. We are wondering if some of the issues of his headaches aren't psychological in nature. When he is doing things that are of high importance to him, he seems to forget that his head hurts. I have no doubt that he does suffer from severe headaches and it is very obvious when he is stricken with the intense ones. But it is very hard to assess if he has more mild ones in between the severe ones, or if he sometimes uses it as a way of not facing the responsibilities of the day. We are constantly plagued with wondering who to see next and what exactly are all the lingering problems. I wish there was a place where we could find answers and guidance. Please keep praying that we will have the wisdom to make solid decisions and that we will find answers. We need God's help steering this ship. Right now it feels like we are having to turn our battleship with an oar.
Christ be the Wind In Our Sails!
Love
Jon and Rebecca
Friday, October 27, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
And We'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun............
Hello there, this is Marie, Paul’s favorite sister-in-law. We are heading back from spending a long weekend with the fam, where we re-celebrated Paul’s birthday, met the wonderful Huffords, saw Ron Ayler’s (next door neighbor) new car, competed in pumpkin carving contest, ate, laughed and watched almost two seasons of The Office. It was a great weekend, Paul is such a wonderful guy, and looking good with his curly hair all grown back, stylin velour pants, and a few other choice outfits that you can see in the pictures below. Friday we took Paul clothes shopping for his birthday present, because since the accident, his wardrobe as been slowly absorbed into his brother’s’ closets. We also went with him to the appointment with his personal trainer. Paul is lifting weights! Saturday we had a big family dinner, and a pumpkin carving contest. The judges of the contest were Jerry’s parents, Frank and Judy Hufford. The Huffords are active, loyal West Virginia football fans. This is important to know because one of the teams in the carving contest played to the judges and carved the WV team logo into their pumpkin. Obviously, they won first place. The rest of the carvings you can see below...it was quite fun. Sunday we attended Mass at Father Jack Durkin’s parish, Saint Monica’s. Incidentally, this is the parish where my sister Anne works. Father Jack concelebrated our wedding Mass in January, and is a close friend of Jon’s, so we were able to briefly catch up, and also see the place where Anne works! The weekend was spent relaxing, eating a lot of ice cream, and just being together with family. There are not many more details of the weekend, nothing spectacular happened. But the joy of being with family, the love that is shared, the laughter and hugs that are over abundantly present when one is around family can’t be topped.
I did forget one incident....the poker games. Those of you who knew Paul before the accident, or ever spent time at Casa de Fidero were probably involved in at least one round of Hold’em. We played poker throughout the whole weekend, and it was just like old times. Paul was right back to himself, dealing out cards, calling all the shots, quite the pro.
__________________________________________________________________________
As a side note (from Rebecca), I have to say it was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my family. Jon and Marie took us to the natural foods grocery store they found the last time they were here. They gave us a crash course on healthier eating. Due to our extremely busy schedules, we have slipped into the eat and run mode and have the worst eating habits! Paul is up to 151 pounds, but his eating habits are not healthy ones. So Marie and Jon did almost all the cooking and showed us some fast and easy ways to improve our habits. And.......while we ate ice-cream, it was completely organic ingredients with non refined sugar, no additives, hormones, or antibiotics added to the dairy products. Jon and Marie were a delight to have around, as their enthusiasm and love for one another are contagious. Jon and I have decided we will try to do more cooking together so we can gain some much needed time together. It is a perfect way to accomplish a needed task and also share our day's events. We all spent most of the weekend sitting in the kitchen and helping get the meals ready. It was an awesome reminder of the beauty of family and friends simply gathered around, sharing laughter and love.
The pumpkin carving contest was just hilarious. Each team had a room to work in and Judy and Frank walked around and took pictures. Once we all caught a glimpse of Mike and Anne's pumpkin, with the West Virginia logo - the easiest pattern ever - we knew we had stiff competition. Frank loves that college football team and we all knew where his one vote would be cast. Our attention was caught when Mike went out to the garage and turned on the air compressor and had us all curious as to why he needed that. He used it to clean out the pumpkin and to finish with his etching of the W V, since they didn't actually cut all the way through the pumpkin. The candlelight behind the etching was terrific! Jon's immediate concern was where all that pumpkin mess went as Mike was 'blow torching' it!
When Jon and Marie left Monday morning, Paul and I said a decade of the rosary before we left for the day. Paul very softly asked God to bless his brother with these words, "And please bless my brother Johnny, who I love so much and also need so much more than ever. Keep him and Marie, who I also love, safe." And He did. Praise be to God.
May the Spirit of the Lord renew your hearts today,
Love,
The Fidero Family
(The pictures are posted in 3 separate postings below)
I did forget one incident....the poker games. Those of you who knew Paul before the accident, or ever spent time at Casa de Fidero were probably involved in at least one round of Hold’em. We played poker throughout the whole weekend, and it was just like old times. Paul was right back to himself, dealing out cards, calling all the shots, quite the pro.
__________________________________________________________________________
As a side note (from Rebecca), I have to say it was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my family. Jon and Marie took us to the natural foods grocery store they found the last time they were here. They gave us a crash course on healthier eating. Due to our extremely busy schedules, we have slipped into the eat and run mode and have the worst eating habits! Paul is up to 151 pounds, but his eating habits are not healthy ones. So Marie and Jon did almost all the cooking and showed us some fast and easy ways to improve our habits. And.......while we ate ice-cream, it was completely organic ingredients with non refined sugar, no additives, hormones, or antibiotics added to the dairy products. Jon and Marie were a delight to have around, as their enthusiasm and love for one another are contagious. Jon and I have decided we will try to do more cooking together so we can gain some much needed time together. It is a perfect way to accomplish a needed task and also share our day's events. We all spent most of the weekend sitting in the kitchen and helping get the meals ready. It was an awesome reminder of the beauty of family and friends simply gathered around, sharing laughter and love.
The pumpkin carving contest was just hilarious. Each team had a room to work in and Judy and Frank walked around and took pictures. Once we all caught a glimpse of Mike and Anne's pumpkin, with the West Virginia logo - the easiest pattern ever - we knew we had stiff competition. Frank loves that college football team and we all knew where his one vote would be cast. Our attention was caught when Mike went out to the garage and turned on the air compressor and had us all curious as to why he needed that. He used it to clean out the pumpkin and to finish with his etching of the W V, since they didn't actually cut all the way through the pumpkin. The candlelight behind the etching was terrific! Jon's immediate concern was where all that pumpkin mess went as Mike was 'blow torching' it!
When Jon and Marie left Monday morning, Paul and I said a decade of the rosary before we left for the day. Paul very softly asked God to bless his brother with these words, "And please bless my brother Johnny, who I love so much and also need so much more than ever. Keep him and Marie, who I also love, safe." And He did. Praise be to God.
May the Spirit of the Lord renew your hearts today,
Love,
The Fidero Family
(The pictures are posted in 3 separate postings below)
Weekend Fun
After Mass with Fr. Jack at St. Monica's
Judy and Frank Hufford (Judy stays with Paul on Tues, Thurs) They were judges for the pumpkin carving contest
Playing Texas Holdem with Paul, the expert!
Shopping Day
John and Marie getting ready to carve
Anne and Mike (winners with the West Virginia Logo)
Marie working on "Our Lady of Guadalupe" carving
from left - Sun Face, Our lady of Guadalupe, West Virginia Logo, Cross/Fish Symbol (Paul and Jerry's design)
John & Paul in their new T-shirts "Batman & Robin say, The Buddy System Works"
Marie, John, Paul & Anne
Getting Paul acquainted with a more organic diet!
Paul parking the car
Definitely a 'new look'
Some More Pictures
John and Marie finally get to meet Jerry
Brendan Hanrahan, Paul and Anne
Paul's birthday present from Jerry - his first walk alone walking Abby
Jerry and Paul dressed for Mass
Paul showing Anne a few things he remembered on his guitar. He doesn't play very often.
Paul hugs Connie, next door neighbor, while Ron replaces the car battery
Monday, October 16, 2006
Oh Happy Day!
( I will add in the text below pictures later - it took an act of Congress to get these posted! I had to open 3 different blogs to get all this on. There are a few more pictures that I will add later also, to include pictures taken today.)
Justin (Paul's friend from DTSi) and his wife and new baby daughter.
Paul giving his speech
Gabriel and his younger brother. Gabriel is 19 and is recovering from his car accident 16 months ago. He is back in school at GSU!
Paul, Nancy Crews and her daughter, Katherine. They brought dinners to us and also helped us with information about government agencies that provide assistance to disabled people.
Justin (Paul's friend from DTSi) and his wife and new baby daughter.
Paul giving his speech 
Gabriel and his younger brother. Gabriel is 19 and is recovering from his car accident 16 months ago. He is back in school at GSU!
Paul, Nancy Crews and her daughter, Katherine. They brought dinners to us and also helped us with information about government agencies that provide assistance to disabled people.
Oh Happy Day, Part !!
Rick and Susanna Rose and their new son Micah. (Paul told Rick they would have to pay a fee for using his name for their baby.) 
Paul, Aunt Kelly and Abigail
Joe and Juanita Altschuler with Paul after his speech. 
Rick Sakaske - He kept the serving tables filled with food from the kitchen, along with Jerry, Patty Palmquist, Helen Enos and Anne Hennessy. 
Paul did not know Abigail was going to be there and was very surprised to see her when she walked up to him right after the party started. 
Paul and Jonathan Tarantino.
Nathan Rose and Paul
Paul, Anne Hennessy and Jerry.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Speech! Speech!
As you can see from the pictures, we had a wonderful thank you/birthday party on Saturday. It was absolutely terrific to see Paul's friends again and watch him enjoy himself among them. He woke early and we got ready for Mass. Afterwards, he came back to the house to get some breakfast while we set up the Fellowship Hall for the party. Everyone started to arrive around 12:10 and Paul did a good job of greeting just about everyone. He would see someone he knew and would go hug them and thank them for coming. At around 2:00, Paul came to the front of the room and we got everyone's attention so that he could read his speech that he had been working on the week before the party. He began by jokingly stating he would start out by asking for a donation. There was a burst of laughter and he enjoyed that alot. Then he started his speech. ( I have typed it exactly as he had it typed on his sheet.)
"Hi Everyone!" (Everyone responded back, "Hi Paul!") He smiled back at them.
I want to thank you all very much for taking the time to come out to this event today.
It is amazing how much everyone has done for me and still does for me every day.
It is obvious that the prayers to God have helped me so much. God has given me vision back in my eye, which initially the doctors examined and found to be blind. Later, the eye was only half blind. With more of God's help, my left eye was brought back completely to 20/20 vision. (Everyone clapped at this statement.)It is amazing what God can and does do.
We all know how much God can and does do, but my friends and family and St. Stephen's community have done an incredible amount for me as well. We have had meals cooked for us, people have prayed for us unceasingly, people have helped me with my walking and balance and have driven me everywhere I needed to go.
An incredible thing to me personally are the Masses that have been said for me. I've been a Chrisitan my entire life, but since the accident I have realized that I needed to focus on God a lot more.
As you can see, I am standing here talking to you. My eye has been restroed to 20/20 vison. I can still move all my limbs, and my heavenly Father has kept me alive!!! God has blessed me so incredible and I pray for God to bless each one of you."
He looked up and just smiled at everyone and they all clapped. He said "Thank you" and walked back to his table. A few minutes later, we brought him back so we could all sing Happy Birthday to him. He will be 22 on Monday. We decided on this date for the party so that we would could not only thank everyone for helping us get him to this birthday, but to celebrate his life. We didn't want to celebrate the accident date! So after his 11/11 accident, we celebrated his 22 birthday in the 11th month of recovery!
It was an incredible day. The weather could not have been more wonderful and Paul could not have felt better. We kept waiting for him to let us know he was done and needed to go to the car and lay down or even leave. But he didn't. He even skipped taking Tylenol until 2 hours later than usual. He held his own the whole time. We were so busy greeting and thanking people for all they have done that Paul had to fend for himself. He was walking around and talking to just about everyone. He got his food and ate, and now that he has set his alarm on his cell phone, he went to Jerry when it was time to take his 2 PM medicines. He went out to the car and told Jerry he wanted to sit out there for a few moments where it was quiet. Then after about 15 - 20 minutes, he went back in. He left church at about 3:15, as we had to stay and clean everything up. When we got home he got up when he heard us. He took another 15 minute rest around 6 PM. A friend he hasn't seen since Christmas, Jason, came to our house and Paul was really glad to see him. Jerry, Paul and Jason went out to get something to eat at about 7:30 PM and didn't get home until 10:15. This is the first time Paul had put in all those hours. He was a real trooper. God had to have blessed him, as we have not seen Paul so animated and show that kind of endurance! One of the big surprises of the day was when his Aunt Kelly and her daughter Abigail (7 yrs old) arrived from Chicago. They drove down Friday/Saturday and arived right after the party got started. Paul was very surprised and scooped Abigail up into his arms and hugged her. He used to go to Chicago fairly often to visit his dog Abby when she lived with my brother and sister in law. He became very attached to their children, Griffin and Abigail. Abigail has called a couple of times since the accident and has left voice messages on our recorder. We have saved them and will listen to them every once in awhile. Each time we smile as we listen to her tender messages for Paul.
I am still in awe of how terrific the day went. God's amazing hand at work again in our lives. Paul is so correct when he said "We all know how much God can and does do."
We have received word that the doctor in Charlotte NC will see Paul. It will be November 21st, at 3:45 PM. That will work out great for us as Jon and Marie were coming for Thanksgiving and they are now going to meet us in Charlotte and we will stay there overnight and then drive into Atlanta the next day. That will help them break up their 9 hour drive into 2 easy days. Hopefully this neurosurgeon will have some idea why the ventricles are still so large. One question we still have is whether the enlarged ventricles are causing his headaches or post traumatic headaches.
We met with the personal trainer last Wednesday. It is a really wonderful arrangement and we look so forward to Paul getting started. We have to wait to get the approval from Paul's doctor saying he is fully capable to start a training program. He will have workouts on Wednesday afternoons. The personal trainer will work on endurance and flexibility first. Paul is still somewhat stiff in his movements. We have to get a letter from either the rehab therapists or his neurosurgeon stating Paul is allowed to start this type of training.
Monday, October 16
Paul got up this morning and it is a gray day. I asked him if he wanted to wear his new dress shirt for Mass and he said, "No, too much gray. Gray pants, gray shirt and gray day." Jerry took the day off as a surprise for Paul's birthday so that he wouldn't have a typical Monday.
Of course, this can't be a typical Monday. We are celebrating a birthday that was not supposed to happen, except by the grace of God. Praise His Holy Name.
With great thanksgiving to all of you,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
"Hi Everyone!" (Everyone responded back, "Hi Paul!") He smiled back at them.
I want to thank you all very much for taking the time to come out to this event today.
It is amazing how much everyone has done for me and still does for me every day.
It is obvious that the prayers to God have helped me so much. God has given me vision back in my eye, which initially the doctors examined and found to be blind. Later, the eye was only half blind. With more of God's help, my left eye was brought back completely to 20/20 vision. (Everyone clapped at this statement.)It is amazing what God can and does do.
We all know how much God can and does do, but my friends and family and St. Stephen's community have done an incredible amount for me as well. We have had meals cooked for us, people have prayed for us unceasingly, people have helped me with my walking and balance and have driven me everywhere I needed to go.
An incredible thing to me personally are the Masses that have been said for me. I've been a Chrisitan my entire life, but since the accident I have realized that I needed to focus on God a lot more.
As you can see, I am standing here talking to you. My eye has been restroed to 20/20 vison. I can still move all my limbs, and my heavenly Father has kept me alive!!! God has blessed me so incredible and I pray for God to bless each one of you."
He looked up and just smiled at everyone and they all clapped. He said "Thank you" and walked back to his table. A few minutes later, we brought him back so we could all sing Happy Birthday to him. He will be 22 on Monday. We decided on this date for the party so that we would could not only thank everyone for helping us get him to this birthday, but to celebrate his life. We didn't want to celebrate the accident date! So after his 11/11 accident, we celebrated his 22 birthday in the 11th month of recovery!
It was an incredible day. The weather could not have been more wonderful and Paul could not have felt better. We kept waiting for him to let us know he was done and needed to go to the car and lay down or even leave. But he didn't. He even skipped taking Tylenol until 2 hours later than usual. He held his own the whole time. We were so busy greeting and thanking people for all they have done that Paul had to fend for himself. He was walking around and talking to just about everyone. He got his food and ate, and now that he has set his alarm on his cell phone, he went to Jerry when it was time to take his 2 PM medicines. He went out to the car and told Jerry he wanted to sit out there for a few moments where it was quiet. Then after about 15 - 20 minutes, he went back in. He left church at about 3:15, as we had to stay and clean everything up. When we got home he got up when he heard us. He took another 15 minute rest around 6 PM. A friend he hasn't seen since Christmas, Jason, came to our house and Paul was really glad to see him. Jerry, Paul and Jason went out to get something to eat at about 7:30 PM and didn't get home until 10:15. This is the first time Paul had put in all those hours. He was a real trooper. God had to have blessed him, as we have not seen Paul so animated and show that kind of endurance! One of the big surprises of the day was when his Aunt Kelly and her daughter Abigail (7 yrs old) arrived from Chicago. They drove down Friday/Saturday and arived right after the party got started. Paul was very surprised and scooped Abigail up into his arms and hugged her. He used to go to Chicago fairly often to visit his dog Abby when she lived with my brother and sister in law. He became very attached to their children, Griffin and Abigail. Abigail has called a couple of times since the accident and has left voice messages on our recorder. We have saved them and will listen to them every once in awhile. Each time we smile as we listen to her tender messages for Paul.
I am still in awe of how terrific the day went. God's amazing hand at work again in our lives. Paul is so correct when he said "We all know how much God can and does do."
We have received word that the doctor in Charlotte NC will see Paul. It will be November 21st, at 3:45 PM. That will work out great for us as Jon and Marie were coming for Thanksgiving and they are now going to meet us in Charlotte and we will stay there overnight and then drive into Atlanta the next day. That will help them break up their 9 hour drive into 2 easy days. Hopefully this neurosurgeon will have some idea why the ventricles are still so large. One question we still have is whether the enlarged ventricles are causing his headaches or post traumatic headaches.
We met with the personal trainer last Wednesday. It is a really wonderful arrangement and we look so forward to Paul getting started. We have to wait to get the approval from Paul's doctor saying he is fully capable to start a training program. He will have workouts on Wednesday afternoons. The personal trainer will work on endurance and flexibility first. Paul is still somewhat stiff in his movements. We have to get a letter from either the rehab therapists or his neurosurgeon stating Paul is allowed to start this type of training.
Monday, October 16
Paul got up this morning and it is a gray day. I asked him if he wanted to wear his new dress shirt for Mass and he said, "No, too much gray. Gray pants, gray shirt and gray day." Jerry took the day off as a surprise for Paul's birthday so that he wouldn't have a typical Monday.
Of course, this can't be a typical Monday. We are celebrating a birthday that was not supposed to happen, except by the grace of God. Praise His Holy Name.
With great thanksgiving to all of you,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Where in the World is.......
I had a great aunt who lived in an assisted living home and I would go see her as often as I could when I first moved to San Diego. She was my great grandmother's sister and I loved them both so dearly. I would go see my aunt fairly often. When Jon asked me to marry him, my parents asked that the wedding be in Louisiana, since that is where all my family lived. I got so busy with the wedding plans and was not able to get out to my great aunt for over a month. She lived about an hour and 1/2 away from me. I felt so bad about it and so one day, decided to make a really quick trip out there and as I came into the dining room, she saw me right away. (Now mind you, she was about 5 foot and 88 lbs.) Well her face lit up and she smiled so big. Then, with the loudest voice she could muster, she called out to me, " BECKY!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Everyone turned to look. I was so shocked that she could talk that loud and immediately felt guilty for not coming sooner, as she had no family left. Well,this morning I realized that I had not posted anything on the blog due to getting ready for the luncheon today and having one of the busiest work weeks in my life. (Of course it never fails - plan an event and everything else in your life flares up!) I know we have made you wait longer than ever for a blog to be posted. I have never had such a busy week as this one. I don't want anyone to think that there is something really wrong and the motto we live by is......NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.
I have some good news to post and will, but right now we are gathering everything needed for the Thank You party and before Jon catches me doing this while he is still working, I just wanted to let you know I will post pictures and all that has happened this past week later on this evening.
God bless you all and we look so forward to seeing as many of you that can come as possible!
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
I have some good news to post and will, but right now we are gathering everything needed for the Thank You party and before Jon catches me doing this while he is still working, I just wanted to let you know I will post pictures and all that has happened this past week later on this evening.
God bless you all and we look so forward to seeing as many of you that can come as possible!
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Can You Hear Me Now?
Sunday October 8
We have seen an upswing in the hours Paul spends up and active each day. He doesn't give quite as long a battle about getting up each day and is now a lot more self sufficient than ever. He gets up and gets his clothes ready, showers, gets dressed and comes downstairs ready to go each day. We are arriving on time a little more often now that he can handle so many things by himself. On Friday morning, he actually chose to wear his suit to morning Mass. Jerry came to pick him up and wasn't wearing a tie, which he normally does. Since Paul had his suit on he looked at Jerry and asked him if he would like to borrow a tie. It was pretty funny seeing Paul going through the ties and picking one out for Jerry. He is also starting to style his hair when he combs it! He has asked about some clothes he used to wear and now remembers. We packed up some of his clothes because he was wearing mostly sweat pants last Winter/ Spring. He now is wearing only the clothes he had before the accident. He found a couple of his shirts on Michael's side of the closet and remembered to make a comment about it to Michael when he saw him after school. Sorry Michael - once a little brother - always a litte brother! Some things won't change.
There is one very memorable moment from the past few days. I have shared it with a number of people because it was another example of how Paul may not have use of one of his eyes and one of his ears, but spiritually, he sees and hears more than most people! I woke him up one morning and he asked immediately for Tylenol. Usually he tries to wait until he gets closer to the time we leave the house. It meant it would not be as good a day for him. I silently prayed to Jesus and asked that if it were God's will, to please let him have some relief from the pain. I had just finished my prayer and Paul said out loud, "Blessed Mother, with your beautiful voice, please ask Jesus if he could help me with this pain today. Thank you for your prayers." I asked Paul if he knew what Blessed Mother's voice sounded like. I asked this because as he said his prayer, I flashed back to the first few days in the hospital, remembering the fact that I had asked our Blessed Mother to please hold Paul in her arms and take care of him since we could not hold him. We have all figured that he had some connection with heaven during that time, since he has changed so much spiritually since then. Paul said he has heard her. I asked what she sounded like and he said that he hears her not like he hears me talking to him, but there are times when he just knows that it is her communicating with him. I said that I wished I could hear her. He looked straight into my eyes and said very seriously, "Everyone can hear Blessed Mary speak. They just don't realize it."
I have dwelled on that very direct and simple statement for days. Then today, the Gospel reading was from Mark, 10: 13-16. "And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Jon and I have talked before about how Paul is like a child in his love of God. He trusts in God completely for his recovery and relates his pain with the sufferings of Jesus. On Friday night he and Jerry went over to church to walk the 14 Stations of the Cross. Jerry said that Paul had almost cried 2 different times as he read the words of each station.
Last Thursday I had to work late. I was rushed and upset to find out that Jon too had worked late, so there was no dinner started and it was alreday 7 P.M. We were both a bit edgy and so Jerry took Paul to get something to eat. After they left, Jon told me that his company is looking at his unit to see what jobs can be eliminated. We've been in this position before and my normal reaction to that would have been instant panic. But I remembered how Paul will just stop what he is doing and will pray for help whenever it is needed. So I took Jon's hand and immediately we prayed for God to help us during this time and to protect us from a job loss, as the insurance for the family is through Jon's job. I was at peace, knowing that God will help us provide and that God knows our needs. We then went and got something to eat. When Paul got home, I hugged him and thanked him for his example of trusting in God. We had followed his lead of the 3 P's. Pause, Pray, Proceed. He smiled and said he liked that phrase. That night, he and I were still wide awake, so we said a rosary for a number of intentions and by the end of it, I finally felt very tired and was able to sleep well.
Saturday morning Paul shocked us with the request of joining Jon and me at perpetual adoration at 5 A.M. He heard us getting ready and he got up at 4:30 and got dressed. I reminded him it would be an hour and he said he really wanted to go. He took some Tylenol and we headed out. Paul led us in saying the rosary and he also took the time to explain how we should pray the Hail Mary. He said that we needed to pray more slowly and to pause before the name Jesus, and pause after it. His name should be set apart. When we finished, he said that when we say the prayer to St. Michael the archangel, we would not be pausing after saying 'satan' as most people do. He said we should never acknowledge satan that way. Jon and I smiled at each other. We had just received another lesson in Praying 101, from our son who can now see and hear so much better than before!
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God
has ready for those who love Him; Spirit of love
come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the
wisdom of God."
Peace to you in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
We have seen an upswing in the hours Paul spends up and active each day. He doesn't give quite as long a battle about getting up each day and is now a lot more self sufficient than ever. He gets up and gets his clothes ready, showers, gets dressed and comes downstairs ready to go each day. We are arriving on time a little more often now that he can handle so many things by himself. On Friday morning, he actually chose to wear his suit to morning Mass. Jerry came to pick him up and wasn't wearing a tie, which he normally does. Since Paul had his suit on he looked at Jerry and asked him if he would like to borrow a tie. It was pretty funny seeing Paul going through the ties and picking one out for Jerry. He is also starting to style his hair when he combs it! He has asked about some clothes he used to wear and now remembers. We packed up some of his clothes because he was wearing mostly sweat pants last Winter/ Spring. He now is wearing only the clothes he had before the accident. He found a couple of his shirts on Michael's side of the closet and remembered to make a comment about it to Michael when he saw him after school. Sorry Michael - once a little brother - always a litte brother! Some things won't change.
There is one very memorable moment from the past few days. I have shared it with a number of people because it was another example of how Paul may not have use of one of his eyes and one of his ears, but spiritually, he sees and hears more than most people! I woke him up one morning and he asked immediately for Tylenol. Usually he tries to wait until he gets closer to the time we leave the house. It meant it would not be as good a day for him. I silently prayed to Jesus and asked that if it were God's will, to please let him have some relief from the pain. I had just finished my prayer and Paul said out loud, "Blessed Mother, with your beautiful voice, please ask Jesus if he could help me with this pain today. Thank you for your prayers." I asked Paul if he knew what Blessed Mother's voice sounded like. I asked this because as he said his prayer, I flashed back to the first few days in the hospital, remembering the fact that I had asked our Blessed Mother to please hold Paul in her arms and take care of him since we could not hold him. We have all figured that he had some connection with heaven during that time, since he has changed so much spiritually since then. Paul said he has heard her. I asked what she sounded like and he said that he hears her not like he hears me talking to him, but there are times when he just knows that it is her communicating with him. I said that I wished I could hear her. He looked straight into my eyes and said very seriously, "Everyone can hear Blessed Mary speak. They just don't realize it."
I have dwelled on that very direct and simple statement for days. Then today, the Gospel reading was from Mark, 10: 13-16. "And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Jon and I have talked before about how Paul is like a child in his love of God. He trusts in God completely for his recovery and relates his pain with the sufferings of Jesus. On Friday night he and Jerry went over to church to walk the 14 Stations of the Cross. Jerry said that Paul had almost cried 2 different times as he read the words of each station.
Last Thursday I had to work late. I was rushed and upset to find out that Jon too had worked late, so there was no dinner started and it was alreday 7 P.M. We were both a bit edgy and so Jerry took Paul to get something to eat. After they left, Jon told me that his company is looking at his unit to see what jobs can be eliminated. We've been in this position before and my normal reaction to that would have been instant panic. But I remembered how Paul will just stop what he is doing and will pray for help whenever it is needed. So I took Jon's hand and immediately we prayed for God to help us during this time and to protect us from a job loss, as the insurance for the family is through Jon's job. I was at peace, knowing that God will help us provide and that God knows our needs. We then went and got something to eat. When Paul got home, I hugged him and thanked him for his example of trusting in God. We had followed his lead of the 3 P's. Pause, Pray, Proceed. He smiled and said he liked that phrase. That night, he and I were still wide awake, so we said a rosary for a number of intentions and by the end of it, I finally felt very tired and was able to sleep well.
Saturday morning Paul shocked us with the request of joining Jon and me at perpetual adoration at 5 A.M. He heard us getting ready and he got up at 4:30 and got dressed. I reminded him it would be an hour and he said he really wanted to go. He took some Tylenol and we headed out. Paul led us in saying the rosary and he also took the time to explain how we should pray the Hail Mary. He said that we needed to pray more slowly and to pause before the name Jesus, and pause after it. His name should be set apart. When we finished, he said that when we say the prayer to St. Michael the archangel, we would not be pausing after saying 'satan' as most people do. He said we should never acknowledge satan that way. Jon and I smiled at each other. We had just received another lesson in Praying 101, from our son who can now see and hear so much better than before!
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God
has ready for those who love Him; Spirit of love
come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the
wisdom of God."
Peace to you in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Bringing It All Back Home
THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE;
LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD!
THE FIDERO FAMILY
INVITES YOU TO A
CELEBRATION OF
PAUL'S LIFE !
We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who
has stayed the course with us through unceasing prayerfulness
and so many acts of kindness. Please join us for lunch.
Where: St. Stephen's Catholic Church / Fellowship Hall
When: October 14, 2006
Time: 12-3 PM
RSVP: no later than October 5
rafidero@mindspring.com
or fider0@mindspring.com
We would like to celebrate all the wonderful blessings our family has been graced with in the past 11 months. So many people have helped us in so many ways and we would like to gather together this wonderful community of believers who knew Paul would find his way to recovery. We want to tell you personally what it has done for us.
Please respond only if you will be able to attend so that we can be prepared. While we have seen some miracles in this past year, we can't count on a duplication of the fish and loaves miracle! So please let us know if you are able to attend as soon as possible.
For those of you who live out of town or are not able to come, know that we pray for your intentions always. You have been listed in books of prayer, have had candles lit, rosaries said and hours of adoration spent in prayerfulness for God to hear and answer you ten fold. We offer our love and heartfelt thanks for what you have shared with our family. Your written words in the comment sections are a huge treasure to us. Paul sat for an hour today reading through the blog. It is fun to hear him laugh or comment on what he is reading. Yes indeed - this is a real treasure for our family.
Yesterday, Paul had an ear doctor appointment. They did an audiology test and it showed that Paul is basically deaf in his left ear. That did not come as a surprise, but I was hoping that through surgery he would be able to recover his hearing. There are hearing aids that he could wear that would transmit (wireless) any sound heard on his left side and it would actually seem to be normal hearing for Paul. He would experience sound as he did before. There is research occuring for the nerve regeneration in his ear, but it is some years out before that will be successful. But he is young, so that is a real possibility for him. As we left the office, he asked me if he understood the doctor correctly that he would not have hearing in his left ear. I said at this time, that is how it looks. I mentioned the hearing aids to him and he said, "No, not right now. I will just keep praying. I was supposed to be blind and God gave me 20/20 vision." I told Paul that in the meantime, the hearing aids would be helpful and we learned also that in the state of Georgia, hearing aids can be returned for full cost after one month trial. It is worth the try and we will work with the audiologist to get them ordered.
Paul has had some really good days. Today he was at work from 9 until 2 pm. That is the first time he has stayed so long. I have to be truthful here.........they said they were ordering pizza at 1:00 P.M. I believe at that point, they had Paul 'hooked on the line'. He called me and said I didn't need to come right away, he would be eating lunch at work. He had taken some Tylenol and was feeling okay, so wanted to stay. Paul has put on a good amount of weight and looks so much more healthy these days. It may be a good thing we are getting ready to work with a personal trainer! That should start in the next week or two. Also, we are very hopeful to schedule music lessons on the same day.
We have faxed the medical records (radiology reports and doctor notes from the surgeries) to the doctor in Charlotte NC. They will let us know by Friday if they feel they can be of any help to us. We are also scheduling an appointment with a Kinesiologist in the next town over. We have heard some really great things about this doctor and how he has helped people where so many other doctors have failed. He uses a more naturalistic approach. I have never been very keen on all the medicines they have prescribed for Paul. When we weaned him off of everything they had given him early on, his hands stopped shaking and he seemed to have clearer thinking processes. In my research, I found that 2 of the medicines he was on were not supposed to be taken together at all. We have moved all his prescriptions to a pharmacist that we have come to trust and have asked him to review what Paul is on and explain what each does for him. They are all medicines to block pain. Funny thing is - Tylenol works the best and Paul feels noticeable relief 15-20 minutes after taking that. He never feels any relief after taking the other pills. If he is going to end up needing medication to get rid of his headaches, these are not the ones! When I was talking to the ear doctor, she was very sympathetic about our search for the doctor who might be able to help resolve the complications of Paul's hydrocephalus. She experienced sudden hearing loss in her right ear 3 years ago after being extremely ill. She said that the world of medicine is very frustrating and that those who stay persistent are the ones who find help. She said we should not accept the answer "I don't know." She applauded our efforts and encouraged us to continue. She also confirmed that the opthamologist we just saw (which is the one I had placed a lot of trust in back in November) is known to be the kind of doctor who will go the extra mile to find answers.
I heard back from the reconstruction plastic surgeon and he feels that the orbital structure is fine and does not appear to need rebuilding. He said that if the opthamologist who does the surgery to place the left globe in the socket correctly needs his assistance, he will be happy to help in any way.
We hope to have the eye surgery done before Christmas, so will try to get it scheduled soon. The opthamologist said we should try to get confirmation that there is no CSF leak before we proceed with the eye surgery. If there is a leak in the orbital, they don't need to find that out as they begin that surgery. So - we will wait to hear from the Charlotte doctor. If he does not think he can help us, I will just get back on my knees and ask one more time for God to lead us. Hindsight is truly 20/20 - and we can SEE all the answers God has provided!
On the Feast of the Guardian Angels, Paul and I went to St. Stephen's and lit some candles to thank God for all that he has done and for all the guidance our angels provide to us. Afterwards, Paul and I walked around the parking lot a couple of time. At one point, right after I prayed out loud while looking up at the beautiful clouds, a monarch butterfly flew right in front of Paul and me! Paul and I said to each other at the same time, "Did you see that!" He knows that I have had so many experiences where butterflies appear while I am praying, or just afterwards. It has happened so often that I cannot believe it is coincidence any longer. He laughed when this one flew past our heads and I said, "See, there it is! Later, we were sitting on the picnic bench while Abby drank some water from her bowl that we brought. We were talking about Paul's headaches and he held my hand and started to pray. When we were finished, we stood up to go back to the car and a monarch butterfly flew right over our heads! Paul smiled and all I could say was, "God is too good."
While we were waiting for the ear doctor, Paul was reading the beginning pages of my prayer book. There is a special section in this month's edition that includes some of the written and spoken meditations of the saints. He found what St. Pio of Peitrelcina wrote and said as he showed me, "This is very true."
"If the soul longs for nothing else than to love its God, then don't worry and be quite sure that this soul possesses everything, that it possesses God himself."
I am learning so much from my son what God's Son came to teach us.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD!
THE FIDERO FAMILY
INVITES YOU TO A
CELEBRATION OF
PAUL'S LIFE !
We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who
has stayed the course with us through unceasing prayerfulness
and so many acts of kindness. Please join us for lunch.
Where: St. Stephen's Catholic Church / Fellowship Hall
When: October 14, 2006
Time: 12-3 PM
RSVP: no later than October 5
rafidero@mindspring.com
or fider0@mindspring.com
We would like to celebrate all the wonderful blessings our family has been graced with in the past 11 months. So many people have helped us in so many ways and we would like to gather together this wonderful community of believers who knew Paul would find his way to recovery. We want to tell you personally what it has done for us.
Please respond only if you will be able to attend so that we can be prepared. While we have seen some miracles in this past year, we can't count on a duplication of the fish and loaves miracle! So please let us know if you are able to attend as soon as possible.
For those of you who live out of town or are not able to come, know that we pray for your intentions always. You have been listed in books of prayer, have had candles lit, rosaries said and hours of adoration spent in prayerfulness for God to hear and answer you ten fold. We offer our love and heartfelt thanks for what you have shared with our family. Your written words in the comment sections are a huge treasure to us. Paul sat for an hour today reading through the blog. It is fun to hear him laugh or comment on what he is reading. Yes indeed - this is a real treasure for our family.
Yesterday, Paul had an ear doctor appointment. They did an audiology test and it showed that Paul is basically deaf in his left ear. That did not come as a surprise, but I was hoping that through surgery he would be able to recover his hearing. There are hearing aids that he could wear that would transmit (wireless) any sound heard on his left side and it would actually seem to be normal hearing for Paul. He would experience sound as he did before. There is research occuring for the nerve regeneration in his ear, but it is some years out before that will be successful. But he is young, so that is a real possibility for him. As we left the office, he asked me if he understood the doctor correctly that he would not have hearing in his left ear. I said at this time, that is how it looks. I mentioned the hearing aids to him and he said, "No, not right now. I will just keep praying. I was supposed to be blind and God gave me 20/20 vision." I told Paul that in the meantime, the hearing aids would be helpful and we learned also that in the state of Georgia, hearing aids can be returned for full cost after one month trial. It is worth the try and we will work with the audiologist to get them ordered.
Paul has had some really good days. Today he was at work from 9 until 2 pm. That is the first time he has stayed so long. I have to be truthful here.........they said they were ordering pizza at 1:00 P.M. I believe at that point, they had Paul 'hooked on the line'. He called me and said I didn't need to come right away, he would be eating lunch at work. He had taken some Tylenol and was feeling okay, so wanted to stay. Paul has put on a good amount of weight and looks so much more healthy these days. It may be a good thing we are getting ready to work with a personal trainer! That should start in the next week or two. Also, we are very hopeful to schedule music lessons on the same day.
We have faxed the medical records (radiology reports and doctor notes from the surgeries) to the doctor in Charlotte NC. They will let us know by Friday if they feel they can be of any help to us. We are also scheduling an appointment with a Kinesiologist in the next town over. We have heard some really great things about this doctor and how he has helped people where so many other doctors have failed. He uses a more naturalistic approach. I have never been very keen on all the medicines they have prescribed for Paul. When we weaned him off of everything they had given him early on, his hands stopped shaking and he seemed to have clearer thinking processes. In my research, I found that 2 of the medicines he was on were not supposed to be taken together at all. We have moved all his prescriptions to a pharmacist that we have come to trust and have asked him to review what Paul is on and explain what each does for him. They are all medicines to block pain. Funny thing is - Tylenol works the best and Paul feels noticeable relief 15-20 minutes after taking that. He never feels any relief after taking the other pills. If he is going to end up needing medication to get rid of his headaches, these are not the ones! When I was talking to the ear doctor, she was very sympathetic about our search for the doctor who might be able to help resolve the complications of Paul's hydrocephalus. She experienced sudden hearing loss in her right ear 3 years ago after being extremely ill. She said that the world of medicine is very frustrating and that those who stay persistent are the ones who find help. She said we should not accept the answer "I don't know." She applauded our efforts and encouraged us to continue. She also confirmed that the opthamologist we just saw (which is the one I had placed a lot of trust in back in November) is known to be the kind of doctor who will go the extra mile to find answers.
I heard back from the reconstruction plastic surgeon and he feels that the orbital structure is fine and does not appear to need rebuilding. He said that if the opthamologist who does the surgery to place the left globe in the socket correctly needs his assistance, he will be happy to help in any way.
We hope to have the eye surgery done before Christmas, so will try to get it scheduled soon. The opthamologist said we should try to get confirmation that there is no CSF leak before we proceed with the eye surgery. If there is a leak in the orbital, they don't need to find that out as they begin that surgery. So - we will wait to hear from the Charlotte doctor. If he does not think he can help us, I will just get back on my knees and ask one more time for God to lead us. Hindsight is truly 20/20 - and we can SEE all the answers God has provided!
On the Feast of the Guardian Angels, Paul and I went to St. Stephen's and lit some candles to thank God for all that he has done and for all the guidance our angels provide to us. Afterwards, Paul and I walked around the parking lot a couple of time. At one point, right after I prayed out loud while looking up at the beautiful clouds, a monarch butterfly flew right in front of Paul and me! Paul and I said to each other at the same time, "Did you see that!" He knows that I have had so many experiences where butterflies appear while I am praying, or just afterwards. It has happened so often that I cannot believe it is coincidence any longer. He laughed when this one flew past our heads and I said, "See, there it is! Later, we were sitting on the picnic bench while Abby drank some water from her bowl that we brought. We were talking about Paul's headaches and he held my hand and started to pray. When we were finished, we stood up to go back to the car and a monarch butterfly flew right over our heads! Paul smiled and all I could say was, "God is too good."
While we were waiting for the ear doctor, Paul was reading the beginning pages of my prayer book. There is a special section in this month's edition that includes some of the written and spoken meditations of the saints. He found what St. Pio of Peitrelcina wrote and said as he showed me, "This is very true."
"If the soul longs for nothing else than to love its God, then don't worry and be quite sure that this soul possesses everything, that it possesses God himself."
I am learning so much from my son what God's Son came to teach us.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Feelings
The saying that 'no news is good news' is applicable now. We have had a quiet week and we have enjoyed that. Paul goes to Mass and work each morning, then has various activities planned in the afternoons. On Wednesday and Friday, Jerry takes him swimming. He works out for about 30-45 minutes. It is a 'walking' pool that has heated water and is only 5 ft deep at most. Paul can swim by himself and works on gaining more strength in his arms and legs. He has had worse headaches this week, but has stayed the course in getting out each day. We are working on getting a personal trainer lined up and also some music lessons.
Yesterday I was working from home and at lunch time I sat talking with Paul. The conversation led somehow toward what happened in the moments and days right after the accident. I was sharing with Paul how much his brothers love him and how they were affected by his injuries and the fact that he almost died. I remembered and shared with him something still very clear in my mind of an example of how much his brothers love him. It was about 3 days after the accident and Jon and I were out on the back deck. We were home for the hours of 6-8 PM since no one was allowed in any of the rooms at that time due to the shift change at the hospital. So we came home and I think because there was only family around, our guard was down and Jon and I could not hold onto our sorrow any longer and we cried very hard. After a few moments, we heard our son Jon crying. He was inside and he too was overcome with saddness. We came in and saw that Marie was hugging him to comfort him. I was telling Paul about it and in a tone of disbelief, he asked me, "My brother Jon was crying like that?" I said that he was and it was because he loved his brother so much. Paul then really shocked me and started to cry really hard. He said over and over he was sorry he caused us so much pain. I jumped up and hugged him and said, "I didn't want you to be sad, I wanted you to know how deeply we love you and how much your brothers love you!" Paul has not cried like that in years and after awhile, he stopped and asked me a lot more questions about who came to see him and what were some of the things going on with him. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes. We also read some of the messages in a spiral notebook that everyone wrote in for Paul to read when he got well. (I came across it again last week.) He really enjoyed reading some of his friend's remarks.
In the past week, Paul has twice shown that he is feeling things on a deeper level and has exhibited the outward signs. The other time was last week. One evening, he went to bed early with a headache. We all gathered upstairs to pray with him and he read some of the stations of the cross to us. Afterwards, Jerry, Paul and I were looking through the spiral notebook and we came across the message Paul's dad wrote to him. I remember reading it the day after he wrote it and it seemed like such a strange thing to write and I could not relate to it at all. I was expecting it to be a tender father-son kind of message, but instead, it was a spoof Jon made up about Paul's band. He told Paul not to worry about missing the concert that Paul was to play in with his band the night after his accident. Jon told him that he filled in for him, even though the band was a little reluctant when he showed up. He went on to write about how he couldn't wear his old leather pants, since they didn't fit, so he wore some green pants with his white socks and black shoes and a vest with no shirt. He thought he looked cool. Of course, Jake (who leads the band) didn't think so, so they skirmished until he overpowered Jake. After that he was okay with it. He thought that secretly Jake was thinking he would show him up and was just jealous. The band quickly went over the set list and he made a few changes. For starters, he told the band he would do the singing since Jake's voice was too pitchy. There was some grumbling but he assured them he knew what he was doing. He also added a few numbers he knew would be crowd pleasers - like, "I Feel Fine" and got straight into "Year of the Cat". The crowd was less enthusiastic than he expected so they played some of Jake's songs and the crowd started to warm up and get into the music. He described how he then got hung up on the amp cord while doing some 'moves' and fell off the stage. He said the band members were so nice and sympathetic. He said they helped him load up his guitar and little amp and told him they would not go on with the show until they were sure he was on his way home. He told them he would be happy to fill in any time for Paul and they said they'd let him know.
As I was reading this to Paul, he started to laugh at the second sentence and could not stop laughing as he listened. This was the first time he had heard what his dad wrote to him and he at one point was laughing so hard he put his hand up to let me know to stop so he could catch his breath. Jerry and I were laughing really hard too just watching Paul. I called downstairs to Jon to come join us. We read through it again and Paul and his dad were both laughing really hard. Before the accident, they had been practicing a few 'oldie' songs for a mini concert on the deck for friends and family. They always shared lots of laughs as they joked around when one of them played the wrong notes and how Paul played so much better than his dad. Here we were, 11 months later and the entry Jon wrote in that notebook brought back the fun they shared with music. It made Paul laugh harder than he has since the accident. Paul has reread it a couple of times since then and laughs each time. I told Jon I was so mistaken about his entry. I thought it was a really weird thing for him to write and he said he just had lots of hope that someday Paul would be able to read it and get a kick out of it. What a great father-son moment it was too!
I am sure that the fact that Paul experienced 2 very separate emotions in such profound ways, shows more healing is taking place. I have wondered why he hadn't shown any deeper level of emotion - but it appears he is capable of it! More of those awesome moments shared that I will treasure and remember.
We have the ear doctor appointment on Monday. Our prayers are that they can help Paul hear out of his left ear. He hears sounds, but it is very muffled. I have contacted the plastic surgeon to see if he has been able to determin if he will need to surgically restructure the orbital or if the eye globe adjustment only needs an opthamologist. I am supposed to hear back by tomorrow.
I read something written by St. Pio of Pietrelcina that was a great help.
"Have no fear for the future, for God is with you and he is suprememly faithful and will not allow you to be overwhelmed by our enemy. This divine Lover will never allow a soul that is consecrated to him in a most particular way to remain a victim of the most implacable of all its enemies. No,no. The enemy will never obtain this victory. Remember that your soul is in the arms of your divine Spouse, like a baby in its mother's arms. You may sleep in peace, therefore, for this heavenly Spouse will guide you in the way which is to your greatest advantage.
God's peace to you.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Yesterday I was working from home and at lunch time I sat talking with Paul. The conversation led somehow toward what happened in the moments and days right after the accident. I was sharing with Paul how much his brothers love him and how they were affected by his injuries and the fact that he almost died. I remembered and shared with him something still very clear in my mind of an example of how much his brothers love him. It was about 3 days after the accident and Jon and I were out on the back deck. We were home for the hours of 6-8 PM since no one was allowed in any of the rooms at that time due to the shift change at the hospital. So we came home and I think because there was only family around, our guard was down and Jon and I could not hold onto our sorrow any longer and we cried very hard. After a few moments, we heard our son Jon crying. He was inside and he too was overcome with saddness. We came in and saw that Marie was hugging him to comfort him. I was telling Paul about it and in a tone of disbelief, he asked me, "My brother Jon was crying like that?" I said that he was and it was because he loved his brother so much. Paul then really shocked me and started to cry really hard. He said over and over he was sorry he caused us so much pain. I jumped up and hugged him and said, "I didn't want you to be sad, I wanted you to know how deeply we love you and how much your brothers love you!" Paul has not cried like that in years and after awhile, he stopped and asked me a lot more questions about who came to see him and what were some of the things going on with him. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes. We also read some of the messages in a spiral notebook that everyone wrote in for Paul to read when he got well. (I came across it again last week.) He really enjoyed reading some of his friend's remarks.
In the past week, Paul has twice shown that he is feeling things on a deeper level and has exhibited the outward signs. The other time was last week. One evening, he went to bed early with a headache. We all gathered upstairs to pray with him and he read some of the stations of the cross to us. Afterwards, Jerry, Paul and I were looking through the spiral notebook and we came across the message Paul's dad wrote to him. I remember reading it the day after he wrote it and it seemed like such a strange thing to write and I could not relate to it at all. I was expecting it to be a tender father-son kind of message, but instead, it was a spoof Jon made up about Paul's band. He told Paul not to worry about missing the concert that Paul was to play in with his band the night after his accident. Jon told him that he filled in for him, even though the band was a little reluctant when he showed up. He went on to write about how he couldn't wear his old leather pants, since they didn't fit, so he wore some green pants with his white socks and black shoes and a vest with no shirt. He thought he looked cool. Of course, Jake (who leads the band) didn't think so, so they skirmished until he overpowered Jake. After that he was okay with it. He thought that secretly Jake was thinking he would show him up and was just jealous. The band quickly went over the set list and he made a few changes. For starters, he told the band he would do the singing since Jake's voice was too pitchy. There was some grumbling but he assured them he knew what he was doing. He also added a few numbers he knew would be crowd pleasers - like, "I Feel Fine" and got straight into "Year of the Cat". The crowd was less enthusiastic than he expected so they played some of Jake's songs and the crowd started to warm up and get into the music. He described how he then got hung up on the amp cord while doing some 'moves' and fell off the stage. He said the band members were so nice and sympathetic. He said they helped him load up his guitar and little amp and told him they would not go on with the show until they were sure he was on his way home. He told them he would be happy to fill in any time for Paul and they said they'd let him know.
As I was reading this to Paul, he started to laugh at the second sentence and could not stop laughing as he listened. This was the first time he had heard what his dad wrote to him and he at one point was laughing so hard he put his hand up to let me know to stop so he could catch his breath. Jerry and I were laughing really hard too just watching Paul. I called downstairs to Jon to come join us. We read through it again and Paul and his dad were both laughing really hard. Before the accident, they had been practicing a few 'oldie' songs for a mini concert on the deck for friends and family. They always shared lots of laughs as they joked around when one of them played the wrong notes and how Paul played so much better than his dad. Here we were, 11 months later and the entry Jon wrote in that notebook brought back the fun they shared with music. It made Paul laugh harder than he has since the accident. Paul has reread it a couple of times since then and laughs each time. I told Jon I was so mistaken about his entry. I thought it was a really weird thing for him to write and he said he just had lots of hope that someday Paul would be able to read it and get a kick out of it. What a great father-son moment it was too!
I am sure that the fact that Paul experienced 2 very separate emotions in such profound ways, shows more healing is taking place. I have wondered why he hadn't shown any deeper level of emotion - but it appears he is capable of it! More of those awesome moments shared that I will treasure and remember.
We have the ear doctor appointment on Monday. Our prayers are that they can help Paul hear out of his left ear. He hears sounds, but it is very muffled. I have contacted the plastic surgeon to see if he has been able to determin if he will need to surgically restructure the orbital or if the eye globe adjustment only needs an opthamologist. I am supposed to hear back by tomorrow.
I read something written by St. Pio of Pietrelcina that was a great help.
"Have no fear for the future, for God is with you and he is suprememly faithful and will not allow you to be overwhelmed by our enemy. This divine Lover will never allow a soul that is consecrated to him in a most particular way to remain a victim of the most implacable of all its enemies. No,no. The enemy will never obtain this victory. Remember that your soul is in the arms of your divine Spouse, like a baby in its mother's arms. You may sleep in peace, therefore, for this heavenly Spouse will guide you in the way which is to your greatest advantage.
God's peace to you.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I Can See Clearly Now
God's glory continues to show in this wonderful story of his.
On Tuesday, I was overwhelmed with the joy of the news that Paul's eye is in good condition and asked him if he would like to stop at St. Stephen's on our way home from rehab. I said we should stop by to specifically thank God for his wonderous deed. Paul said that would be a good idea, so we did. When we walked into the sanctuary, there was a lady sitting near the front, so I whispered to Paul that we would not be able to pray out loud, as he likes to do when he lights candles in front of the Mother of Perpetual Help icon. He said that we should go to the woman and ask her if she would like us to pray with her. I mentioned to him that since she was alone at church, she probably wanted some quiet time alone and we should not disturb her. I said we could go light some candles, then come to the back of the church and say our prayers, and could just include her intentions along with ours. Paul had been holding my hand, and in response to my last statement, he took his hand from mine, and then told me, "You can go light candles, but I am going to go ask that woman if she would like me to pray with her." He walked away from me and headed down the aisle. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to disturb the woman. So I walked down the far left aisle and went to the candles. I thought to myself that I would go over and get him after I finished and that way we would not bother anyone for very long. I heard Paul talking to her and as I turned around to look at them, I realized I knew the woman. I told her I hoped we were not disturbing her and she then told us why she was there. Paul and I said we would be sure to keep her and her family in our prayers because she really was very upset. Paul told her he would light candles for her too and for her children. We went back over to the candles and Paul prayed for many things. The woman left while he was praying. Later, I told Paul that I was so happy he had the courage to walk up to someone he didn't know and offer to pray for them. I felt a bit guilty about not being so open to the needs of others.
On Wednesday, I had a really bad day at work and came home a half hour earlier than usual because of a bad headache. Our neighbor across the street (Bob) started to walk over to me and so I met him on his lawn. As we were talking, my other neighbor Connie also came home early. She got out of her car and came over to us saying she had an amazing story for us. She said that her high school friend, who reads our blog also, sent her an email that day which had been received by the high school friend's very good friend. (Hope this won't be too confusing......smile). The email was written to share about how God had answered her prayer. She wrote that she had really been going through a very rough time in her life and her family was suffering so much. She was very sad and upset and had stopped by church to pray for God's help. She said she had looked up and asked God to please send her a sign that everything would be okay and she then felt a soft touch on her hand. She then heard a voice say, "Would you like me to pray with you?". She looked over and she said God had sent her an angel and his name was Paul Fidero. She recognized him right away. She was so happy he had come with his offer of prayer. Connie said that since her high school friend had learned about Paul through Connie, she had to share the story of this other friend. I told Connie about the rest of that story, which was that I had tried to stop Paul from 'bothering' this woman who was truly in need of comfort and prayer. I said that in my effort to go thank God for Paul's 20/20 vision, I was the one whose eyes had been opened! As Connie was telling us about all this, Bob had tears flowing down his face. He got his handkerchief out and said, "I don't know why I am crying, I don't ever cry." Then he said, "that was our Paully who did that". I was trying hard not to cry, but when Bob referred to him as "our Paully" I felt my own tears well up. Paul's love of God is for everyone and as Connie said, that penny that God dropped in the water is rippling out in every direction. She said the original email went out to about 30 people, with her high school friend being one of them. No telling how many people will see how awesome God is - only God knows. But for me, it showed how each of us is truly part of his tapestry, bringing a little something to his world. About an hour later, Bob's wife came over to me to tell me that Bob told her about this story and she said they both cried and that "Bob never cries." She said Paul has really shown Bob about God and his love.
When I told Paul about how he had helped the woman for whom he had offered his prayers and then Bob's reaction to the subsequent event, Paul said, "That makes me want to cry." I told him that his openness to God taught me that I needed to pray that my own eyes would see more clearly His ways and His love for us.
Paul has been going to work and has gone swimming 2 times this week. Jerry said that he stays very active while in the pool. It will be a great physical therapy for him and Jerry was so kind to buy him a yearly pass. We are going to contact the woman who provided us with her email address concerning the personal trainer. Paul really needs to build his endurance and muscle tone. I use his genuflecting as a guide and he is still pretty wobbly when he goes down to his knees......smile.
He has had some really good days this week. One moment that stands out with the other one just mentioned is when Paul walked over to Bob's house. I was doing something that was taking too long, so Paul started to walk without me. I came out the door and was going to tell him to wait, but decided to see if he would do it all alone. My only worry is that there is a hill which cars come over too fast sometimes and I always tell Paul that we need to be listening for any cars. He stopped and looked both ways, and kept watching the hill as he crossed. I joined him over at Bob's and we both congratulated him on doing it alone. He also went home by himself. He walked further down toward our house before he crossed, so there was more distance away from the hill - this he figured out for himself. After he got to our house and near the front door, he walked back out to the lawn and I saw him take a deep breath and then he yelled over "I love you mom", waved and then walked in. I turned to Bob and said, "That is the first time he yelled - that took some work." Bob and I reflected on how far he has come. I told him I had kept a vision like that in my head since the accident, where Paul would be walking away from me independently and calling back to me, "See you later mom". I am getting to witness it more and more as Paul heads out with Michael and Ann (to go to the local ice cream shop) and with Jerry (to go out to eat........his favorite past-time!!).
God's story just keeps unfolding and we are so blessed to be so much more aware of it in our lives. All these wonderful and tender stories keep giving us so much strength and joy.
"How great is your goodness, Lord, stored up for those who fear you.
You display it for those who trust you, in the sight of all the people."
(Psalm 31:20)
Praise be to God. All Glory to God.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
On Tuesday, I was overwhelmed with the joy of the news that Paul's eye is in good condition and asked him if he would like to stop at St. Stephen's on our way home from rehab. I said we should stop by to specifically thank God for his wonderous deed. Paul said that would be a good idea, so we did. When we walked into the sanctuary, there was a lady sitting near the front, so I whispered to Paul that we would not be able to pray out loud, as he likes to do when he lights candles in front of the Mother of Perpetual Help icon. He said that we should go to the woman and ask her if she would like us to pray with her. I mentioned to him that since she was alone at church, she probably wanted some quiet time alone and we should not disturb her. I said we could go light some candles, then come to the back of the church and say our prayers, and could just include her intentions along with ours. Paul had been holding my hand, and in response to my last statement, he took his hand from mine, and then told me, "You can go light candles, but I am going to go ask that woman if she would like me to pray with her." He walked away from me and headed down the aisle. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to disturb the woman. So I walked down the far left aisle and went to the candles. I thought to myself that I would go over and get him after I finished and that way we would not bother anyone for very long. I heard Paul talking to her and as I turned around to look at them, I realized I knew the woman. I told her I hoped we were not disturbing her and she then told us why she was there. Paul and I said we would be sure to keep her and her family in our prayers because she really was very upset. Paul told her he would light candles for her too and for her children. We went back over to the candles and Paul prayed for many things. The woman left while he was praying. Later, I told Paul that I was so happy he had the courage to walk up to someone he didn't know and offer to pray for them. I felt a bit guilty about not being so open to the needs of others.
On Wednesday, I had a really bad day at work and came home a half hour earlier than usual because of a bad headache. Our neighbor across the street (Bob) started to walk over to me and so I met him on his lawn. As we were talking, my other neighbor Connie also came home early. She got out of her car and came over to us saying she had an amazing story for us. She said that her high school friend, who reads our blog also, sent her an email that day which had been received by the high school friend's very good friend. (Hope this won't be too confusing......smile). The email was written to share about how God had answered her prayer. She wrote that she had really been going through a very rough time in her life and her family was suffering so much. She was very sad and upset and had stopped by church to pray for God's help. She said she had looked up and asked God to please send her a sign that everything would be okay and she then felt a soft touch on her hand. She then heard a voice say, "Would you like me to pray with you?". She looked over and she said God had sent her an angel and his name was Paul Fidero. She recognized him right away. She was so happy he had come with his offer of prayer. Connie said that since her high school friend had learned about Paul through Connie, she had to share the story of this other friend. I told Connie about the rest of that story, which was that I had tried to stop Paul from 'bothering' this woman who was truly in need of comfort and prayer. I said that in my effort to go thank God for Paul's 20/20 vision, I was the one whose eyes had been opened! As Connie was telling us about all this, Bob had tears flowing down his face. He got his handkerchief out and said, "I don't know why I am crying, I don't ever cry." Then he said, "that was our Paully who did that". I was trying hard not to cry, but when Bob referred to him as "our Paully" I felt my own tears well up. Paul's love of God is for everyone and as Connie said, that penny that God dropped in the water is rippling out in every direction. She said the original email went out to about 30 people, with her high school friend being one of them. No telling how many people will see how awesome God is - only God knows. But for me, it showed how each of us is truly part of his tapestry, bringing a little something to his world. About an hour later, Bob's wife came over to me to tell me that Bob told her about this story and she said they both cried and that "Bob never cries." She said Paul has really shown Bob about God and his love.
When I told Paul about how he had helped the woman for whom he had offered his prayers and then Bob's reaction to the subsequent event, Paul said, "That makes me want to cry." I told him that his openness to God taught me that I needed to pray that my own eyes would see more clearly His ways and His love for us.
Paul has been going to work and has gone swimming 2 times this week. Jerry said that he stays very active while in the pool. It will be a great physical therapy for him and Jerry was so kind to buy him a yearly pass. We are going to contact the woman who provided us with her email address concerning the personal trainer. Paul really needs to build his endurance and muscle tone. I use his genuflecting as a guide and he is still pretty wobbly when he goes down to his knees......smile.
He has had some really good days this week. One moment that stands out with the other one just mentioned is when Paul walked over to Bob's house. I was doing something that was taking too long, so Paul started to walk without me. I came out the door and was going to tell him to wait, but decided to see if he would do it all alone. My only worry is that there is a hill which cars come over too fast sometimes and I always tell Paul that we need to be listening for any cars. He stopped and looked both ways, and kept watching the hill as he crossed. I joined him over at Bob's and we both congratulated him on doing it alone. He also went home by himself. He walked further down toward our house before he crossed, so there was more distance away from the hill - this he figured out for himself. After he got to our house and near the front door, he walked back out to the lawn and I saw him take a deep breath and then he yelled over "I love you mom", waved and then walked in. I turned to Bob and said, "That is the first time he yelled - that took some work." Bob and I reflected on how far he has come. I told him I had kept a vision like that in my head since the accident, where Paul would be walking away from me independently and calling back to me, "See you later mom". I am getting to witness it more and more as Paul heads out with Michael and Ann (to go to the local ice cream shop) and with Jerry (to go out to eat........his favorite past-time!!).
God's story just keeps unfolding and we are so blessed to be so much more aware of it in our lives. All these wonderful and tender stories keep giving us so much strength and joy.
"How great is your goodness, Lord, stored up for those who fear you.
You display it for those who trust you, in the sight of all the people."
(Psalm 31:20)
Praise be to God. All Glory to God.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory........
We had the appointment with the eye doctor who originally treated Paul in the week following his accident. At that time we were told that he would probably not ever see in that eye again. We found out later that he had some limited vision, where he was able to see the lower half of his vision field, but basically was legally blind. His last appointment in May, he was not able to see the 'E' on the eye chart. The nurse checked him today and he could see the 'E' and the next row down. And the next row down. And the next row down. And yes, the next. When we had come into the room, she talked to us about the history and asked if he could see out of his eye and I responded that we had been told he could see in a very limited way. So as she was going down the rows, she was looking at me and her smile got bigger with each row, as did mine and Jon's!! Jon and I kept looking at each other as Paul kept calling off the letters, row by row. I started to get tears in my eyes, and was basically stunned by what was happening. The nurse finished and said, "Well folks, as you can see, he has 20/20 vision in both eyes." She walked out to get the doctor and Jon and I jumped up and went to Paul and just hugged him. He said, "I think we should thank God for my eyesight. Let's say a prayer." We prayed our spontaneous prayers of thanksgiving to God and just kept hugging each other. After about 10 minutes, Jon and I sat down. Paul started to do a drum beat that he always does when he is sitting around and is waiting, and so I asked him to show me again so I could learn. Then Jon joined the 'drum' lesson and before you know it, we were all working on the pattern Paul does. Then he showed us some things his friend Brendan (who is an awesome drummer as we have mentioned before.......hello Brendan!) had showed him and we had a really fun time trying to keep up with Paul and laughing at our complete ineptness (compared to Paul). We had to wait for about 45 minutes for the doctor, but we were talking, drumming and laughing the whole time. The doctor came in and asked us how we all had been doing. He then concentrated on Paul and asked him to put his eye patch on his right eye. He wanted to make sure that Paul had not used his right eye in reading the chart. He knew how badly Paul's eye had been injured and I don't think he believed the findings. He went straight to the row that would prove the 20/20 vision and Paul could not read it. I could hardly breathe, thinking Paul had 'cheated'. The doctor asked him to rub his eye and then he tried the row above the 20/20 one and Paul read it just fine. Then the doctor went back to the 20/20 row and Paul did read it. The doctor said that he just had to make sure Paul had not faked it somehow. As he turned the lights up a bit, he turned to Jon and I and said, "There you have it. His eyesight is better in both eyes than mine are with glasses!" He was so pleased to be part of this awesome news. He called his nurse and said, "I don't know if you remember this young man, but he was not supposed to walk out of a hospital again. And look at him now." He said to Paul, "I didn't get to hear your voice when I saw you. Do you remember anything I did to you at the hospital?" Paul said no and the doctor said, "That's probably a good thing too." He then checked Paul's eye and said we had done a good job maintaining the health of his eye and he was really glad about it. He said the globe is in very good shape and said that with surgery, they will be able to work the muscles to help Paul not have double vision. He said that they might have to do surgery on the right eye also, to coordinate the muscles in both eyes. Paul at that point said, "Excuse me doctor, but I have a question. Why would they have to do surgery on my right eye?" The doctor explained it further and Paul was satisfied with the answer. (It is hard to tell if he is listening half the time, since he wears his sun glasses, you can't tell if he is paying attention. This showed he was paying very close attention!) Dr. Tucker is not the doctor to do the surgery, but he will help us find one. He said we really should get the hydrocephalus issue resolved first and to rule out any brain fluid leaks since it has been brought up by Dr. Ghaly. It would become an issue if the leak is in the orbital area and would affect the surgery for repairing the eye muscles. He set up a game plan we should follow, then we are to call him when we are ready for the eye surgery. We will continue taping Paul's eye as we have been as it has proven to be very effective for maintaining his eye health. We will now get the appointment with the doctor in Charlotte NC, and if he can't help us, we will have to head up to Chicago to talk to Dr. Ghaly. We were hoping to stay closer to home, but we have complete trust that God will be steering us as we go forward.
Today's Doctor appointment, $200
Gas to get there, $9
Drum lessons while waiting, $100 (per Paul)
Joy felt in that room..........priceless!!
We started to call family members as soon as we started to walk to the car. Paul was on the phone with Jon (his brother) and I called Michael and then my family members that I could reach, which was only 2 since I was driving. We were driving by Jerry's house and as I was thinking it, Paul said it, "Pull into their driveway so we can tell them." I honked the horn as we pulled into the Hufford's driveway - I was so excited. We told them that Paul's vision is fully restored and they were as overjoyed as everyone else. They invited us to stay for dinner. We had to go home first to get Paul his medicine. We quickly drove the 2 blocks home and got out and saw Bob and Barb across the street. Paul's head was hurting really badly, but when he saw them he said, "Let's go tell them too." So we walked across the street and after he hugged them both he shared the good news. So much exitement all around! We went back to the Huffords after Paul was done and we had a wonderful meal amid much laughter.
My sister in law, Kelly, was the one who said "Mine eyes have seen the glory" when told and it is a great title for this blog indeed!
Paul's spirituality is a wonderful thing to witness and be part of. His first words were to say thanks to God when he understood what had happened today. He asked God to keep helping him be a good son to his parents and to be able to be of help to his family. He is so centered in his prayers and has the very trust in God that children have in their earthly parents.
Thank you for all of your words of love, encouragement, joy and faith. Ten months of beautifully written sentiments - Our eyes HAVE SEEN seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. In gratitude to the God who gives us every blessing we pray, Blessed be the God of our salvation!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Today's Doctor appointment, $200
Gas to get there, $9
Drum lessons while waiting, $100 (per Paul)
Joy felt in that room..........priceless!!
We started to call family members as soon as we started to walk to the car. Paul was on the phone with Jon (his brother) and I called Michael and then my family members that I could reach, which was only 2 since I was driving. We were driving by Jerry's house and as I was thinking it, Paul said it, "Pull into their driveway so we can tell them." I honked the horn as we pulled into the Hufford's driveway - I was so excited. We told them that Paul's vision is fully restored and they were as overjoyed as everyone else. They invited us to stay for dinner. We had to go home first to get Paul his medicine. We quickly drove the 2 blocks home and got out and saw Bob and Barb across the street. Paul's head was hurting really badly, but when he saw them he said, "Let's go tell them too." So we walked across the street and after he hugged them both he shared the good news. So much exitement all around! We went back to the Huffords after Paul was done and we had a wonderful meal amid much laughter.
My sister in law, Kelly, was the one who said "Mine eyes have seen the glory" when told and it is a great title for this blog indeed!
Paul's spirituality is a wonderful thing to witness and be part of. His first words were to say thanks to God when he understood what had happened today. He asked God to keep helping him be a good son to his parents and to be able to be of help to his family. He is so centered in his prayers and has the very trust in God that children have in their earthly parents.
Thank you for all of your words of love, encouragement, joy and faith. Ten months of beautifully written sentiments - Our eyes HAVE SEEN seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. In gratitude to the God who gives us every blessing we pray, Blessed be the God of our salvation!
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Whistle While You Work
Around 1 A.M. I was awake and thought Jon was sleeping. I was thinking of a million things and then for some reason, thought about hearing Paul's voice on his cell phone recording earlier in the day. His voice was as he used to sound before his accident. It took me by surprise to hear how different it used to be. I started to dwell again on how vibrant his life used to be, how he could walk so fluidly and how he laughed so freely, smiled so gently and because I was so tired, it was all too easy for me to get all teary-eyed about it. Jon was not sleeping after all and he asked me what was wrong. I told him I was just being silly and was just missing my Paul from last year. Jon said he had been feeling the same way and I could tell he was trying not to cry. We talked about it a bit longer, then started to pray a Hail Mary, since we remembered it had been the day of Our Lady of Sorrows feast day and we would offer up our sorrow. As we were praying, Paul heard us and he asked us what was the matter. I told him nothing, we were just praying. He got very serious in his tone and asked us, "Is there something you know about me and haven't told me? Is there something I don't know?" I told him not really, it was just that it was very hard for us to watch him suffer in his pain and to know that we don't have the answers to help him. It is tough to handle sometimes and so we just pray hard. He said he knows he has has been a sinner in his life and since he is, he just offers his pain up to God. He said that he talks to God about it and he tells him that he isn't trying to bargain with Him, but that he does ask to get better soon so that his parents won't have to work so hard taking care of him and so he can really help us out more. He said he prays for our whole family a lot, so that we can all be closer to God. We hugged each other, then finished our 'talk' with a few more prayers and then we all went to sleep.
This morning, we were giving Paul his early A.M. medicine and I thought he might wake up a bit grumpy since we had been awake during the night. He woke up and took it and then asked me if I had seen him take 2 straight swallows without having to stop in between? I said I hadn't, so he did it again. He was quite happy about it. He then took a really big amount and swallowed twice in a row and also didn't let any spill from the side of his mouth that is paralyzed. He was pleased about it and just smiled at me. When he finished his water, I don't know why, but I asked him to see if he could whistle. He has tried before and it comes out almost too quiet to hear. Today, he was able to whistle very clearly - better than he had so far. He gave me a wide-eye look to show his surprise at how well he had done. We both laughed about how awesome he had done and then he laid back down to go back to sleep, since it was so early yet.
God's reward to Paul for his continued patience, I am sure.
I know I will whistle while I work today!
Peace to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
This morning, we were giving Paul his early A.M. medicine and I thought he might wake up a bit grumpy since we had been awake during the night. He woke up and took it and then asked me if I had seen him take 2 straight swallows without having to stop in between? I said I hadn't, so he did it again. He was quite happy about it. He then took a really big amount and swallowed twice in a row and also didn't let any spill from the side of his mouth that is paralyzed. He was pleased about it and just smiled at me. When he finished his water, I don't know why, but I asked him to see if he could whistle. He has tried before and it comes out almost too quiet to hear. Today, he was able to whistle very clearly - better than he had so far. He gave me a wide-eye look to show his surprise at how well he had done. We both laughed about how awesome he had done and then he laid back down to go back to sleep, since it was so early yet.
God's reward to Paul for his continued patience, I am sure.
I know I will whistle while I work today!
Peace to all of you,
Jon and Rebecca
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Top Hat
Paul is helping pack the lunches for the homeless people downtown
Helen, Paul, Jerry and Michael getting more of the food ready 
Jerry, Jon (behind them) and Paul and his dog Abby
Fr. Peek, Jon, Paul, Rebecca and MichaelThursday Sept 14
I am sorry about such a late posting again. I had one 75% completed and lost it when my computer shut down. This is the first chance I have had to get back to it. Yikes, what a busy week this has been!
On Sunday, we got a great surprise at Mass. Fr. Peek was at St. Stephen's to say Mass since Fr. Paddy was out of town. Fr. Peek was one of the wonderful priests who came to the hospital in those first few weeks that Paul was in intensive care and blessed him. In fact, he was there the night that we got the news that Paul had a blood clot in the main artery in his brain and there was a good chance he would not live. Fr. Peek admistered the sacrament of Annointing of the Sick to Paul. He met with everyone in the hospital chapel and lead everyone in saying the rosary. A week later, he came back and said Mass in Paul's room. He also brought the zuchetto worn by Pope John Paul II during a Mass celebrated on December 22, 1996. The custom is, if you bring a zuchetto that was made for the Pope, specifically from the Italian tailor shop that is authorized to do this, it will be exchanged with the one that the Pope is wearing at the time. Fr. Peek was at the Mass on that day, and he brought a zuchetto with him, handed it to the Swiss guard and this guard brought it to the Pope. Pope John Paul II took the one from his head and put on the one Fr. Peek brought. Fr. Peek then received the zuchetto (skull cap) that Pope John Paul had been wearing. Fr. Peek placed this very zuchetto on Paul's head, for him to wear while Mass was being celebrated in his hospital room. The nurse on duty also attended, along with the family and friends who were there that night. I will never ever forget that evening. The room was filled with such peace and so were we! So, it was just terrific to see Fr. Peek again. He was very glad to see Paul and to see him walking and able to attend Mass with his family. He told Paul to remember that it is easy to be a Christian on a sunny day, but that the most powerful prayer of Christ was on the cross. He encouraged Paul to stand firm in his faith as he worked toward his full recovery, and he blessed him. We got to visit for about 15 minutes more and learned that he had been in Rome again this past Summer and had actually been close enough to Pope Benedict XVI to hold up another zuchetto he had purchased at the Italian tailor shop and Pope Benedict himself exchanged the one he was wearing with the one Fr. Peek help up high for the Pope to see. He said it was just an awesome moment for him. We were thrilled for him!
Saturday afternoon we went to St. Stephen's to help pack lunches and put together hot meals that had been cooked for about 35 people who live under a bridge downtown. There is an outreach program that does this every Saturday afternoon and has been for about 8 years now. Jerry and Michael were going to be delivering the meals, so we decided to take Paul with us to help them get it all ready. When it was almost done and the other people were getting the food coolers into the van, Paul went into the church and prayed for about 15 minutes. Mass was going to start, so he came back to the cafeteria about the time we were ready to go. He is doing very well with getting around independently. He told us he was going to leave to go pray and then walked away without anyone's help. It is wonderful to see him making decisions about what he wants to do and then doing it. One step closer to being as independent as before!
On Monday, I got to go to an afternoon therapy class with him and I spoke to his speech therapist. She is the coordinator of all his therapies and she said he will be finished in 2 more weeks. I could see Paul STARING at her as she told us this. I knew how disappointed he was to hear it will go that much longer. He really doesn't like rehab. He told me later that he knows that it must be doing something for him and he trusts God is leading him along, but he sure wishes it would have ended by now. The only therapist he actually had a repore with, is now training a student and Paul doesn't have that same connection with her. He said he will try hard complain about rehab as much, since he knows we are only trying to help him get better. He still needs help with his short term memory and will for a long time. They are working on helping him learn to schedule his time by charting out the next day's schedule and following the list he makes. At the end of the day we are to get him to talk about his day to help him remember all that he did. That is his homework for this weekend. There are 4 different categories that he will need to pick 2 things from each and fit it into his daily routine, along with his daily grooming, eating and sleeping times. They are activities that will include his cognitive, physical and occupational skills. He will also be going to work 2 days a week until he is done with therapy, then he will go to work each day for 4 hours. He will be able to go to Mass 2 times a week on the days that Jerry is here to help him. This week, he went to work on Tuesday and stayed 3 1/2 hours. He hopefully will get another few hours in on Friday.
Paul went out to eat for lunch today with his rehab group. Not really a new experience for Paul. He loved going out to eat before the accident and he still loves it. Wednesday night, he asked what was for dinner and when I mentioned that I was going to use what had been left from the night before, he looked at Jerry and asked if he wanted to go get something to eat. Jon and I were very tired, so we stayed home and Jerry took Paul out. It was actually a wonderful break for us and we enjoyed a quiet meal. Mike was busy working on a project for school and had gone with some friends for a very late afternoon meal. It was so much like how it used to be. Paul out with friends, Mike doing his own thing and Jon and I enjoying the quiet. Then Thursday, I planned on going to my women't prayer group again after 7 months and that is always a night the guys go out to eat. Paul was again very glad it was a 'dinner out' night.
We have an appointment with the opthamologist on Monday and the ear doctor October 2nd. I am remaining hopeful that someone will be able to get some of the problems solved soon, concerning Paul's eye/orbital issues. After our appointment on Monday, I will know better when to schedule the appointment with the neurosurgeon we heard about who is in Charlotte, NC. We will continue our search for the doctor who can find the answers to Paul's hydrocephalus problems and the relief of his headaches.
Once rehab is done, we will be back to seeing all these different doctors and coordinating any possible surgeries. If possible, we would like to have it done by the holiday season. We can then set our sights on attaining the goal of getting Paul back into college for a class or 2 by the summer semester - wouldn't that be just terrific? A fine goal to be sure!
Today was the feast of the Exultation of the Cross. Another reminder about what Fr. Peek told Paul on Sunday. From the Magnificat daily prayers, it is explained "the event of the cross and Resurrection abides and draws everything toward life". We exalt Christ's cross whenever we freely take it up, filled with the certainty that the ultimate meaning and fulfillment which we crave in life comes to us through this unending event. St. Leo the Great says "the sign of the corss makes kings of all those reborn in Christ." As I read all this today, I thought about the beautiful example Paul has been to our family. He starts each day out with a prayer asking for God's help and strength. He keeps close to Jesus each day in prayerfulness, asking for help with relief from his pain, yet never displaying anger about the 'cross' he has right now. And he remains patient as he waits for God's will to be done. I find myself praying for that same strength that Paul displays. A few days ago, I was helping Michael find a baby picture of himself that he needed for his senior yearbook and we were having a great time remembering past events as we looked at the pictures. Then slowly, the sadness started to creep in as I came across one picture after another of Paul's beautiful smiling face and his interactions with his brothers. I wanted Paul to be that free spirited kid again - to have a 'full' life again. The next day, I was looking for the pictures to post on the blog and Paul was behind me. As I was scrolling through all the pictures we have online, I came across some of him from the summer before his accident. Again, that bright smile and face looking back at me. I started to cry and Paul put his hand on my shoulder and apologized for the pain he had cause me. I told him that I just wanted him to be free of pain and wanted him to have his sight and I felt so helpless. He hugged me and said "God knows what He is doing. He needs me to do this for a while longer." Paul makes a lot of jokes during the day and will have some cynical retorts about rehab and other things, but when he talks about God, he could not be more serious. He speaks with such a calming tone and I find myself filled with peace and faith that God really does know. I can't describe in words how awesome some of these moments with Paul can be - but he keeps leading us to greater acceptance and a desire to be more holy.
Jesus, we trust in you.
God bless,
Jon and Rebecca Fidero
Friday, September 08, 2006
Pictures, Pictures
Paul handling the trash.This means his name is back on the Saturday chore list!
Standard transmission - Not a Problem!
Paul walking his dog without any assistance or support needed!
Paul and Abby taking it easy.
Jerry and Paul enjoy the lunch Paul cooked in occupational therapy.
Paul prepares the vegetables
Paul had to set the table after cooking the lunch.
Paul cooking the hamburgers
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