Go Tell It On The Mountain

Jon and Jerry helping Paul as the trail starts to get steeper.
(This picture is out of sequence - it should have been the 4th picture.)




Jerry and Marie leading the way as they start the climb up Stone Mt.





Anne, Jon, Paul and Jerry walking together as it gets steeper.












Taking a rest mid way up the trail.






Joh, Paul, Anne and Marie on the top of Stone Mountain - great job!


















"Now Thank We All Our God" sums up this past week!
On Thanksgiving Day, as I sat between Paul and Marie at Mass, I felt such joy. There are no words to describe it. As I sat there, I remembered quite clearly the state of shock I was in last Thanksgiving morning, sitting in Mass, wondering if Paul would come out of his coma and what kind of condition he would be in. Our family was numb that whole day as we went through the motions of having Thanksgiving dinner and then going to see Paul. Now, here we were, a year later, celebrating Thanksgiving Day Mass and Paul was 'present and accounted for'. I told God that there was no word or action that I could say or do that would be able to show my thanks to Him. Our Almighty God has done wonderous things for us! All praise and glory are His!

"Proclaim the greatness of His name,
Loudly sing His praises,
with music on the harp and all stringed instruments;
sing out with joy as you proclaim:
The works of God are all of them good."

I started to write a Thanksgiving Day message and it became quite long because there are so many people and so many instances and so many gifts which occurred in this past year. Our family has received so much this past year and if every prayer, thought, gift, sign of love, action and effort were all stacked up, it would be a beautiful mountain displaying the Glory of God!

Everyone of you became part of Paul's climb up his 'mountain of recovery'. Everything that was done for him helped support him as he climbed up to new levels. When I looked at the pictures of Jon and Jerry on either side of him, it occurred to me that it was how it might look if it were really Jesus and Paul's guardian angel holding him up when he needed it most. Anne and Marie represented our Blessed Mother, the saints and angels, and all of us, walking alongside with love and encouragement. It is a great reminder to all of us that we are not alone in our life. We are never alone in our struggles. While it may feel like it at times, the support from heaven above is always with us. That is God's promise to us, that he will never abandon us, most especially in times of trial. He just wants us to call out to Him and He will send a legion of angels to our side. His help will be in the form of people on earth and the 'unseen' help from heaven. I have learned this lesson well this past year. I have been able to be less of a 'doubting Thomas' as I used to be. Paul is not the only one climbing a mountain. We all have summits to reach in our search to do God's will, but God has provided an incredible and visible year for us, in which we have grown in faith, hope and love. Yes, He has provided very visible signs for us to see that He is with all of us. This last year has become a beautiful sign to our world, of love in action.

May God's love lift you to new heights today. Keep looking up!

Go tell it on the Mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere.
Go tell it on the Mountain,
That Jesus Christ is Lord.

Our loving thanks to all of you. For every big and little thing that you did for our family. God knows you all by name!

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Charlotte's Web

Our trip to Charlotte was absolutely worth the rain storm we had to drive in. It was a slow drive once we got to Greenville, SC because of rain and the holiday travel. I have to admit, we didn't approach this doctor visit with the high hopes we had when we went to Savannah. After so many disappointments, we were waiting to see what the doctor would say first.

Our hopes are lifted. This doctor is the only one who is taking Dr. Ghaly's opinion seriously and is going to find out for sure if there is a CSF (brain fluid) leak. He said that in looking at the CT scans we provided, it appears there is a problem in the area of the orbit. His opinion is that the reconstructive surgery that was done might not have sealed the orbit well and there is a small leak in that area. He said that he also believes Paul's headaches are due to low pressure in the brain. That is what the doctor in Savannah said, but didn't offer any solutions. Dr. McLanahan did. He said there is a reason for it and he hopes to find it. Paul will be admitted to the hospital probably in the first week of December and there will be a number of tests run. They will be looking for the CSF leak, the repair work done on the orbital, the functioning of the shunt and the siphon on the shunt. Dr. McLanahan said that there is a much better shunt on the market with a much more reliable siphoning mechanism. He, like the doctor in Savannah think that Paul may possibly not need the shunt, which is also what they will be testing for. If he does, they will probably use the 'new and improved' shunt. This doctor works closely with a plastic surgeon and both of them have extensive experience in the reconstruction of facial bones. He addressed the issue of the enlarged ventricles and said he will address that, but it is not the primary problem at this time. He thinks that possibly, Paul's ventricles under drain while lying down and then over drains upon sitting up. That would account for the headaches. He said he could send his recommendations to any doctor we would want to work with in Atlanta, since it is about a 3 1/2 hour drive for us. We said that we would rather work with him and his associates here in Charlotte. He said that he would be glad to help us. He confirmed this is an area he specializes in and that Paul's case is not text book - it is a more difficult case. Dr. Ghaly had said that also, but he had hopes that we would be able to find a doctor in the Atlanta area who could solve the numerous issues at hand. While we were not able to, we don't mind coming to Charlotte. I am looking forward to seeing it in the sunshine! It is a very pretty city.

We head home in the pouring rain, but with complete trust that we are.........one day closer to the recovery God has planned.

Jon and Marie met us in Charlotte, and arrived at the hotel around 3:30 AM. They got up this morning and took Paul with them. They said they are really looking forward to being 'home for the holidays' and have left already. Paul was up and ready to go with them. He was so happy to see them both. Jon walked in with his SUPER HEROES t-shirt that he and Paul had purchased on the last visit. Paul was so happy to see it and then said he had thought about wearing his too!

We are right behind them......with smiles to brighten this very rainy day.

Glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Oh, When the Saints Come Marching In

I have written so much about the intercession of the saints in heaven and how we have prayed to so many of them and I have noted so many their feast days for the past year.

And I am reminded of a homily a young Francisican priest who was at St. Joseph's, when Jon and I lived in the San Franscisco area in 1986. When he spoke, you really wanted to listen! This one particular Sunday, he had sheets of paper in the pews with a 'picture' on it. It was a lot like a Rorsach ink blot! He said that a man went in search of the meaning of life and after spending a lot of his money and life on this project, he was told by a very old wise man that the answers were in the Matthew, chapters 5,6,& 7. He said that too many of us search so hard for Jesus and He has been right with us all along. The 'ink blot' was actually the face of Jesus,
and it was really hard to see it. Jon said it reminded him of the kind of art done by Peter Max (1960's). Anyway, I could not see the face at all. I actually had thought originally that it was a tree! Nice try Rebecca. The priest said to take the picture home and tape it up somewhere and look at it everyonce in awhile.
I was up at about 2 AM and was feeding James (who was about 5 months old). I was very tired and was missing my family so much, since we had moved to San Francisco only a few months before. I was in the family room and glanced over to the kitchen and noticed the picture taped to the refrigerator and the face of Jesus just POPPED out at me! I actually laughed out loud and said "There He is!" I remember thinking that I guess I wasn't as alone as I thought...............smile.

All of this is to preface why I chose that title. We have looked to heaven so many times this last year for the intercession of the well known saints, and right in our midst, we have some present day saints. Living in our neighborhood! I just have to dedicate this posting to the Hufford family. Judy Hufford came to our house in May to bring us dinner. She is part of the Helping Hands outreach program at our church. This group provided dinner for our family for 3 months! I knew they lived in our neighborhood and went to our church, but never stopped to introduce myself. She brought dinner and Jerry, her son, helped her get it to us. We got to talking and Jerry said he read our blog everyday. I was literally shocked. He said it was so great getting to meet us finally. He started to come by during the Summer and help James with Paul. Then, when James left, Jerry organized the help we would need to pick up the slack for James. He made up a chart (which he keeps up for me) with the names of who is going to get Paul to daily Mass, then to DTSi and back home. Brenda Stoll takes care of this on Monday's, Judy Hufford has started to take care of Paul on Tuesday and Thursday and Jerry has Wednesday and Friday. That means Jerry also gets him to his personal trainer on those days. He comes early and helps me get Paul's medicine packed up for the day, runs any errands we might need, takes Paul to any other outing they can fit in, along with swimming at the local aquatic center. They have taken Paul into their family life with such ease. To top that, Abby is always along with them. They have a dog named Emma, and the 2 dogs are now good friends and spend most of those days together. Paul and Jerry take the dogs to the park a couple of times a week. Even though Jon and I are home on the weekends, Paul will either be at their house or Jerry might come to ours. This past weekend, since Michael would be gone in Europe, the Huffords took Paul to their home to give us a chance to rest and get some things done. Abby and Paul were gone until Saturday at about 9:30 PM. They said that they enjoy Paul's loving and gentle ways so much, along with his quick wit. Paul loves them all so much and he doesn't think twice about calling Jerry to see what is up for the evening. On the days Jerry helps out with Paul, he will email me the next day with everything he can remember about what Paul said or did and will fill me in on any new accomplishments or funny moments. He is terrific with keeping us up to date. Together, we plan new things for Paul to work on to help in his recovery. It is absolutely wonderful to have this family working along side of us, with encouraging words and so much love being offered. Paul will put out extra effort for them! They have the patience of saints!! Jerry also got Mike involved in another outreach program at St. Stephen's and that is helping bring food to some people who live under a bridge downtown. The church van goes every Saturday and gives out a hot lunch, and then also bagged food. They will hand out clothes if they have them, or any other items that have been donated, like hats and goves and blankets in the winter. He also will be taking Mike to a shelter on Wednesday nights where they take care of the men's feet, to help keep them healthier. It is the same outreach group that does this and Jerry got Michael involved. Mike loves being with Jerry and thinks nothing of stopping by the Huffords house on his way home, to just sit and chat with Judy and Frank. They are always there with open arms!

God has been so generous to our family, providing so many saints on earth who have walked along our pathway. I could fill a book with everything that has been done for our family. It certainly opened my eyes to the fact that I had so much to learn about being a loving and generous giver. What an example ALL these living saints have set before us this past year.

We leave for Charlotte today to see the neurosurgeon who might be able to answer the issue of the enlarged ventricles that Paul still suffers from. I pray that the saints in heaven will pray for God's intercession and that this doctor will have the wisdom to know the answer. And to all you saints on earth, who continue to pray us forward, we ask for one more prayer in this day. God knows each and everyone of you and what you have done for his world. Our prayer is that you will be blessed far more abundantly than we have!!!

My brother reminded me to post his email address on the blog, so that if any one wanted a copy of the talk I gave last week at the prayer breakfast, he will send it to you. His email address is kbrown@paychex.com. Thanks for doing this for me Keith!

Oh - your prayers for a safe trip for Mike were definitely answered! And they were needed. James was going to meet Mike in Frankfurt and flew in about 6 hours before Mike. Bev's son, Joseph is back from Iraq and is in Germany, so he too was going to be at the airport to meet them both. James got there at midnight and Joseph called us to say he had not found James and in fact, thought that maybe James was at the other airport in Frankfurt. Well, that is what happened. The other problem was that Joseph had his cell phone with him, but forgot the charger and it was no longer working. Bev and Joe were at our house when Joseph called them and said he thought James was at the wrong airport, so my niece, Courtney, called the Hahn airport and asked for them to page James. Praise be to God, James understood his name when it was spoken over the intercom and he came to the desk. We told him he needed to get to the other airport. Turns out - it was over an hour and a half away. He kept asking around for ways to get to the other airport and not have it cost $200 and finally found that there was a shuttle bus. He paiad $15 and was the only one on the bus, AND got to catch a very long nap. He got to the correct one a couple of hours before Mike landed (at 7:40 AM) and found Joseph. When they found Mike, James made a quick call home and the joy in their voices had me crying. It was 2:30 AM our time and I was so happy they called. I had not been sleeping well, knowing that they had a few mishaps occurring. Joseph was so thrilled to finally see family, James was so happy he didn't miss Mike and Mike was ecstatic he was actually IN GERMANY! They were all talking and laughing at the same time. It was a very joyous moment for me to share.

Michael has emailed us a couple of times and they are having a terrific time. He also managed to let us know that the price of oil had gone down another $1. Something he watches daily!! That's my youngest son for you!

And I am running late. Again.

We will keep you posted tonight. We will be staying in Charlotte over night and meeting up with Jon and Marie. They are driving in from Washington DC after Jon's last class. That way their trip will be split up a bit.

God bless all the HOLY MEN AND WOMEN in our world today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Guten Morgen!

As Paul continues his 'walk' to California, Michael is leaving today for Austria to be with James for Thanksgiving. First, he will be joining James in Frankfurt so they can go the Army base and meet up with their cousin Joseph, who just got back to Germany from Iraq. Last year at this time, Joseph was in South Carolina finishing his training. What a long way we have all traveled this past year!

What awesome things our family has learned in our faith.

from the Second Letter of St. John
"But now Lady, I ask you, not as though I were
writing a new commandment but the one we have
had from the beginning; let us love one another.
For this is love, that we walk according to his
commandments; this is the commandment, as you
heard from the beginning, in which you should walk."

I want to thank everyone of you who have offered prayers for Chris and Kathy. Today is the feast of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, who embraced a life of poverty after her
husband died and erected a hospital in which she herself served the sick. May her prayers join ours to 'help us serve our brothers and sisters in time of trouble and need.'

I actually remember last year on this day, writing about her and finding comfort in asking her to join me in my prayers for Paul. That awesome Communion of Saints in which we believe - what a great gift to us here on earth. Our visual aids to show we too are called to be saints!

I have to ask also - please say a prayer for the safe travel of Michael today. Watching him walk out the door with Jerry and Paul to go to Mass left me with what Paul once termed a 'cry bubble' in my throat. How blessed he is to be able to go travel around Europe with his brother James............who is now the 'expert'! James has been to Germany, Poland, France, Spain, Switzerland and Monaco. He and Michael are going to Ireland and England and Poland. Since Michael took the name of St. Maximillian Kolbe, they are going to Auschwitz. James was there once before and he thinks it will be good for Michael to be there and understand the sacrifice of his Confirmation namesake. Jon and Marie will be going to Austria in December. What a great blessing from God for my sons to be able to do all these things at so young an age. I wait in joyful hope for the day Paul too will be able to possibly go. We have told him that we will try to get him to Lourdes, France. A fine goal, to be sure!

Paul played a game of Scrabble yesterday and won. He was pretty darned excited too. He wrote on the score card "Paul Wins!!! Yahoo!" He is also getting on his computer more and more. I keep trying to encourage him to write another article on the blog and hopefully, work towards making it truly Paul Fidero's site!
He is maintaining his weight at 152 and looks so much more healthy now. The personal training he is receiving is so beneficial. He was having a bit of difficulty with the new weight added, but when Rhonda asked him if he would rather work on endurance and do more reps than more weight, he said no. He wanted to build his strength up. 'BUFF' is everything, I guess. One other area he is working on is not wearing his sunglasses as much. We noticed there were times when he would be in the bright light and not even remember he wasn't wearing them. I truly believe he creates habits easily, then becomes dependent on them. So he is now trying to add a few more minutes each day where he doesn't wear his sunglasses and even his eyepatch. He has pretty much stopped wearing the hat. STEP BY STEP! It's such an intriguing process of recovery. I surely understand very well the statement that each person will recover in their own way. And Paul always walked to the beat of a different drummer!

Keep Marching Paul! Parumpumpumpum.

May we all follow the steps of the saints before us, as we walk in love for one
another. Through Christ our Lord,
Jon and Rebecca

Feeling Fit

Paul works really hard for Rhonda and the days he has his fitness training, he is the happiest. He and his friends Jonathan and Josh used to work out together alot. I am sure this is a way for him to connect with something from before the accident.






Pictures taken of us at the Magnificat Prayer Breakfast

God Peeks Our Interest, and Gets our Attention

I didn't mean to create a sense of suspense in my last posting. I just had some more to write and then Jerry walked in to get Paul for Mass and I didn't have his lunch ready for the day, nor had I given him his medicine or tended to his eye. When Jerry walked in I said, "Oh Man, I'm in BIG trouble....I am running later than ever before........Paul took his shower but hasn't gotten dressed yet and I haven't even begun my morning preparations for him!!" He laughed as he saw me still in my PJ's and bathrobe and typical of Jerry, remained calm! I couldn't believe the time and it actually shocked me when he walked in. I had been reading my Magnificat book and then got into reading a number of articles on catholicity.com and then started my posting for the day. Maybe it was the rainy weather outside that contributed to keeping me in such a distracted mode. Anyway, I had to fly like the wind to get everything done in time for them to leave for Mass. Paul was in a great mood and he handled all my 'rushing around' with the same calm as Jerry.

2 things to tell you that were so neat! At my talk on Saturday, Fr. Peek's younger sister, Christina Peek, came up to me after it was over and she said she is studying to be a physical therapist. Her class is now focused on training for those who have suffered brain injuries. She mentioned that while Paul is working with a personal trainer for increased endurance and strength, the issue of balance won't necessarily be addressed. Paul still feels like he doesn't have very good balance and is actually heading backwards in his progress he had made by always wanting to hold onto someone when he walks. She said to contact her this week about bringing Paul to the training sessions so that he and the students would benefit. A win-win situation. The timing of it all is so terrific. What is so amazing is that I first saw Christina at a youth retreat years ago. I was the youth group leader for our church and I took the kids to this retreat. Fr. Peek was very involved with it and he introduced his sister and mother to all of us at the retreat. The loving way he talked about his mother and sister made me want to call mine and tell them how much I love THEM. Some time later, I saw Mrs. Peek and Christina out at the Holy Spirit Monastery when we were all celebrating the birthday of Blessed Mary by being consecrated to her at the Mass celebrated by Fr. Tim Hepburn. (My sister Bev was with me! A really great day for us both!) A couple of years after that, I was a hostess at one of the Magnificat prayer breakfasts, and Mrs. Peek came and sat at my table. I was so happy she did. I felt honored to serve her as she has 11 children and 2 of her sons are priests and I believe she also has a daughter who is a nun. What awesome gifts she has brought to Jesus in His church. Then, a few years later...........she and Christina came to hear me speak! I was so glad that part of my talk was about the generous and loving support Fr. Kevin Peek brought to our family, so they would know how great a priest he is! I am sure it is not the first or last time they will hear about his powerful influence on the people in this diocese. It is neat to look back and see the weavings of God. Little did I know that this priest who I first saw at a retreat in 2000 would be the priest who administered Last Rites to Paul and who would bring great comfort to this family at the most painful event of our lives. The connection was that Paul's girlfriend, Geneva Baran was best friends with Christina Peek! Thank you once again Geneva.

The other thing I wanted to share was how we have been so amazed how all of you dear people have stayed the course with us. Your prayerful and loving support is beyond measure. We have often talked about how we could hardly wait to "pray forward" for others in the same way we have received. Well, we got to and it made me happy God answered our prayers. A week ago I was talking to a woman at our church and she said she was in charge of one of the tables at an event called "Advent by Candle Light". It sounded like a wonderful evening, and I asked if it was too late to sign up. She said she had room at her table and so it would be okay for me to come. So, this past Sunday night, I went. I thought it would be a great way to end my weekend after my talk. A great way to relax and reflect on the season of Advent. While I was there, my friend Dee Huggins (her son Chip had a head injury 2 yrs ago) brought someone over to meet me. She told me how the woman's husband had a heart attack almost 2 yrs ago and is still in a form of coma. He is taken care of by his wife, daughter and nursing care. I felt such sadness immediately for her, as I instantly remembered a social worker telling Jon and I in the second week of Paul's coma, to get our dining room ready for Paul, because that is where he would be since he was so young and no nursing homes would take him. This young woman was doing just that. Her husband is 42 yrs old. She said that no one comes to pray anymore and the people at the church do bring Communion to him sometimes. But no one else comes. She said it is too painful for them. I could see the loneliness in her face. Dee told her we would come pray the rosary with her. She said people say that but never come. Dee looked at me and we both agreed that we would come the very next night. She was very happy to hear we would really come. Someone would be there to pray for her husband.

I went home and told Jon that I was going to be gone the next evening too. He said he would go with me! So, I got home on Monday, quickly cooked dinner and while we were eating, Paul and Jerry said they would go also. We all went and we totally surprised her with the number of people who were standing at her front door. She was so happy to meet Paul and was so thankful he had come. We brought the relic of St. John Neumann, the soil from Apparition Hill in Medjugorje, the blessed oil of St. Pio and a medal of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, blessed by John Paul II. And, last but not least was 'the rock' my sister mentioned in her comment yesterday. She had been in Rome this past Fall with Fr. John Ricardo on a retreat. His friend was being ordained at the Vatican and Mary Beth and her husband Michael were invited to go, along with a few other couples. They were down at the tomb of St. Peter the Apostle. There was some work being done at the tomb and as they were leaving, one of the men who was with them picked up a couple of the tiny pieces of the broken tomb that was laying on the ground. He showed Mary Beth afterwards and he then gave her one for Paul. She told me about a month ago about it, that she had a really beautiful gift for Paul. I had forgotten about it and on Monday, when I got home, her letter was there and inside was the tiny little pieces of rock that had come from the tomb of St. Peter. It had been broken up due to the mail, so I gathered it all into a zip-lock bag. I was immediately excited that it came on the day I was going to be able to thank God by 'praying forward' for someone else who was in desparate need of prayer. Dee was there and she had brought her neighbor Megan. It turns out, our oldest son John went to Piedmont College with Megan and she was part of the very small Catholic youth group at the predominantly Protestant college! John used to drive her to Mass at St. Mark's. This small group of young men and women used to drive down from the college on Tuesday nights to hear Fr. Jack Durkin give his bible studies at St. John Neumann. One of the women in the group became a nun and she is the one who had a cardinal say a Mass for Paul last November, as she is in Rome. God's weavings.........so beautiful!

Anyway, we were all present at this woman's home and we touched the relics to her husband and prayed over him like people had done for Paul. We prayed the rosary and other prayers. This woman was in the RCIA program to be converted to Catholicism when her husband had his heart attack. She was not able to finish. Having us there brought her great joy. She asked if we could come again and I told her that without fail, we would come to pray as often as we could. Her husband seemed to respond to some of what was going on. I believe his soul was totally aware that we were there! My prayer of long ago was answered. I asked God to let me share the abundance of love and prayers that had been showered down on us and He brought us to this family. I pray we can be instruments of His peace and hope and joy.

Later, Paul thanked us over and over for taking him with us. He stood by this man and touched him as he prayed silently over him. I thank God so much for brining Paul into a life of pray. May this beautiful gift be life long for him.

I am going to also bring this man to all of you. His name is Chris, and his wife Kathy, needs your prayers much more than we do. Please lift their names up to God as you pray today.

May faith, hope and love increase in the hearts of all today,
in Jesus' name we pray.

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

pictures will be posted later - they wouldn't upload this morning...........sigh. I am sure it is operator error..........sigh again.

Bear or Bull Market

Yesterday, I was asked how Paul was doing and the image of the stock market came to mind. Now that we are a year out, I can look back and see that it is the perfect example to give to explain his recovery so far. Ups and downs everyday, but generally trending upward! Later, I smiled as I thought about that example, because I remembered hearing once that it is easier on the nerves if you don't watch your stock everyday. Now that I can look back and see Paul's over all health trending up over this past 12 months, I need to follow that advice! I don't mean that I will quit looking at Paul each day (smile), but maybe it's time to move my 'magnifying glass' back a little bit and lighten up a little bit.

We saw a doctor on Monday who will be doing some of the surgery needed to fix Paul's eye. He is going to first put in a gold weight into the eyelid so we can dispense with the tape and eye patch. He will also tighten up the lower eyelid, as it is drooping due to the loss of muscle tone caused by the paralysis. We liked this doctor a lot because he seems to know how to 'color outside the lines' and said that while the greatest percentage of people recover from facial paralysis in the first 6 months, it does not mean that there is no possibility of recovery. He said that we have room for hope and that as far out as 2 years there can be recovery. While there is no way to gauge it, it is a possibility. He also told us that there are doctors who are performing nerve replacement surgery and told us a little bit about the ways it is being done. While he does not do that kind of surgery, he will help us get into the doctors who do so we can discuss it with them and see if it is a viable option for Paul. After the minor surgery on Paul's eyelid, he will look at the issue of repositioning the globe in the orbit. He stated that there is limited movement with Paul's left eye, which means that even once it is lined up correctly, there will be a problem of double vision, as the right and left eye would not move in unison. He said that the good thing about the 20/20 vision in Paul's left eye means that if anything did happen to Paul's right eye, his left eye would be able to be used fully. He said it was a miracle that Paul did not suffer permanent damage to his sight in that eye, given the amount of damage to the nerves and bones. So we will hold onto the hope of even more recovery and will take it as it comes.
We have to wait for the approval from insurance for the eyelid surgery, as some companies consider it cosmetic surgery. But they feel that it won't be an issue, given Paul's history. Please pray that this surgery can be done before Christmas, as Paul is so looking forward to no more tape. Me Too!

His headaches are continuing and we have our appointment in Charlotte NC next Tuesday. I keep praying that God will bring us to the doctor who will be able to figure out the problem of the enlarged ventricles and solve that. I can't help but think that is the main cause of his headaches. I mean, it seems like the obvious issue. But, that is just a guess on my part. We have heard that this doctor stays with it until he solves the problem. If not this doctor, then on to the next! Jesus, we trust in you.

Paul went swimming yesterday and swam on his own across the pool. He had not been in a few weeks and he tends to come up with a bunch of different reasons why he can't go. Yesterday, Jerry showed the tough love needed at times and told Paul he was going to go and he would see him when he got back. Paul asked him, "I will be left here alone?" Jerry said since he (Paul) was just lying in bed, he would be fine and Jerry would be back in about an hour. Paul told him to wait and he would go too. Jerry and I laugh about how we have to always find new and creative ways to get Paul into the mood of cooperating! I know that with the headaches, most times Paul doesn't feel like doing much. But there are ways to get him motivated and it does take constant creative thinking on our part! At the end of the days that Jerry gets Paul out and about, we sit and share all the funny things Paul said, or things he did. We also share what worked and what didn't. I am so blessed to have someone like Jerry and his mother helping me throughout the week. We all contribute to the effort of moving Paul forward and having them to share all this with helps me not become overwhelmed. God has blessed our family by bringing so many people to our doorstep that ordinarily we would have never known. Like the Hufford family. Paul and Mike love them a lot and it is not unusual to come home and see the message that they are over at the Huffords. Mike will stop in and visit with them on his way home, or Paul and Jerry will take Abby over there and stay for the evening. They have a dog named Emma and the 2 dogs get along really well. It is also not uncommon to come in the front door and be greeted by both dogs at our house! I know God realized we would not have been strong enough to get this far on our own and he has graced us with some very loving people along the way. Our neighbors Ron and Connie and Bob and Barb are always lending their support too. This incident helped us tap into the love our neighbors had to share and I would not trade all the graces received this past year away. God making good out of a sad situation. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Paul goes to physcial training today and he really likes that. Thank goodness.....we don't have to do a song and dance routine to get him going! What a blessing this has been also. This blog has brought us into contact with so many people - God's mighty hand at work!

I have another story to tell you about something else that came about after my talk on Saturday, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I am due at work and Paul has to get out the door to get to Mass...............we are late again!

Today is the feast of St. Albert the Great. That was my dad's middle name. James Albert Brown. St. Albert writes:

In all simplicity and confidence abandon yourself and whatever concerns you without reserve to God's unfailing providence, according to the teaching of Saint Peter;
"Cast all your anxieties on him, who can do all things". And again it is written; "Have no anxiety about anything"; "Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you."; "It is good for me to be near God"; "I keep the Lord always before me"; "I found him whom my soul loves."
This is the hidden and heavenly treasure, the precious pearl, which is to be preferred before all. This it is that we must seek with humble confidence and untiring effort, yet in silence and peace.
It must be sought with a brave heart, even though its price be the loss of bodily comfort, of esteem, and of honor. Saint Luke says: "the kingdom of God, that is Christ, is in the midst of you."

Truly it is.

Seek and you will find.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Yahoo, Year Two!

What a strange mix of emotions I have experienced in the last week.
As we got near the one year mark, I was really 'riding the waves'.
I spent 2 full weekends writing my talk for Magnificat and really was struggling with it. The first weekend, I had 22 pages done (16 font......smile) which was just about an hour's worth. But I had only written down about 1/2 of my story. So I thought about it all week again, then sat down and tried again. I had only a week to go. In my head, it seemed like such a simple thing to do - make a quick outline and then fill in the blanks. But I couldn't seem to condense it to a usable amount. I wrote 18 pages that weekend and ended up deleting all of that too.
On the Sunday before the talk, I was talking to my friend and saying that this story of God was so awesome and so promising, but that I didn't have a speech ready yet. And I was really getting stressed about it. I said that since God provided the story line, He really needed to get busy and type it! That gave me the idea to spend some real time praying to Him for the guidance. Tuesday night it just poured out onto the paper as I sat there meditating. I was supposed to go to Adoration at 7 PM and had really been looking forward to it. My hope was that in the quiet spent before Jesus, I would be enlightened. But I started typing at 5:30 and at 6:30, I was flying through pages as the story poured itself out. I asked Jon if he would go to Adoration for me. He, Jerry and Paul covered my hour. I guess Jesus wanted to see them instead! I let my fingers keep flying. At 1 AM, my speech was completed and I slept like a log. The next day, as I read it to Jon, I could hardly read through it without crying a number of times. Jon cried too. I told him I was going to keep reading it until I could do it with a lot less emotion! I had an hour to speak it and there was not a lot of time for me to keep regaining my composure.

I was feeling really nervous, as I had expected I would, Saturday morning. Jon and I left at 7:15 AM to get to the Mass that was being celebrated for the Magnificat Team and all the women who would be a hostess. It was during Mass that God graced me with the peace I needed to deliver His speech as He intended. Remember now, I have been dubbed the 'cockeyed optimist' by my older brother because I seem rather silly in my connecting visual aids with God's hand. But I can't help but think it is God putting those litte bread crumbs in my pathway to let me know I am still on HIS pathway.
I was sitting and listening to Fr. Joseph give the homily and it was touching on exactly what my (God's actually) talk was about. I smiled and asked God to help me tell it according to His will. About 5 minutes later, I was looking down at the leather cover on my Magnificat monthly missle and it is a gold color. The word MAGNIFICAT is imprinted in gold leaf. I then noticed the ribbons that mark the pages were a dark red color and they were the same color as the jacket I had on. It hit me that the color of my jacket and the color of my gold blouse were an identical match to my MAGNIFICAT book. I laughed and took it as 'confirmation' that it was God's story I was going to be sharing. I wasn't going to worry about whether the women coming to the breakfast would get anything from it.........God did the inviting, He had the story, I only had to tell it. NO WORRIES THEN.

After I received Communion, I was thanking God for the enormous amount of love and strength He had showered on our family this past year. As mentioned in the speech, I learned to let God steer the ship. I stepped aside a number of times and let the Holy Spirit be the wind in our sails. As I thought about that, the face of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta came into my mind very clearly. I then prayed that I could learn to be like this beautiful saint. She had said that she didn't want people thinking it was about her at all, that anything that came from her was all about God. People were to listen ONLY TO THE MESSAGE OF GOD. She wanted to remain completely in the background. I prayed that the words spoken that day would be what stood out in everyone's heart. Since these were God's guests, I felt real peace knowing that I didn't have to be in charge of it. Just deliver it and step out of the way.

I didn't trip while I walked to the podium, first bonus.
I made it through with relative ease, second bonus.
I had my family and friends out in front of me, best bonus. It reminded me that God delivered so many people to our doorway this last year to keep our spirits up and focused on His Glory. And I believe the Glory of God was told on Saturday.

It could have been a day where we marked the time with what we had been doing. But God in His love and most abundant kindness filled our day with love and activities. After the morning prayer breakfast, we went home. Then we all went out to lunch and sat on the balcony of a nearby restaurant and enjoyed the blustery day. The laughter was carried away on the wind. Jon and I then went to the monthly 5 mile rosary walk with our friends from church. As we neared Stone Mountain Park, we were driving under a long tree lined street. The wind was blowing and it caused the leaves to fall like a snow storm. It was so awesome and I just kept thanking God over and over for such a beautiful sight! I have never encountered it before.
All that RED AND GOLD falling around us. The colors of my Magnificat Book! FUNNY OLD WORLD ISN'T IT?
Then, during the last hour and a half of the walk, it was pouring rain. We were soaked! But I was so joyous as I was being 'refreshed in the Spirit'.

Jon and I got home, got changed and then headed out to meet Paul, Jerry, Mike and some of our friends for dinner. We got home at 10:00 PM and I got the kind of sleep I had missed most of the previous week.
What could have been a day filled with some painful rememberances, God filled our day with love and signs of LIFE.
Our God is an awesome God.

Hebrews 13:11-12
" At the time, all discipline seems a cause
not for joy but for pain,
yet later it brings the peaceful fruit
of righteousness to those who
are trained by it.

So Strengthen your drooping hands and
your knees. Make straight paths for your feet,
that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed."

He has disciplined us in this last year to help us
conform our lives with His will. I would not trade
it away for anything. What God has in mind for Paul
remains between those two. I will continue to care for Paul
as I would Jesus, my Lord. That is all I am being
asked to do. Just as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta -tend to
everyone in your pathway as you would Christ, for
that is where you will find Him! And that is what is between God
and me.

I remembered the title from a year ago
Yahoo! Week Two! I started that week out with
great hope and was rewarded with Paul waking from
his coma. With even greater hope, faith and love,
we start year two.

"Jesus said to them, "Those who are healthy do not
need a physician, but the sick do."

May His loving hand touch your lives today and help
heal all that troubles your heart.

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

The Veggie Tale

This morning, as I was tending to Paul's eye, we prayed together for St. Raphael, Medicine from God, to pray for Paul's continued healing. We remembered the 2 other young men whose mothers have been so good to our family with sharing their love and support this past year. Gabriel is praying that he will walk again and Eric is prayerful about finding a job, given his physical limitations.

Somehow all this led me to share with Paul the story of how he woke up. I told him it was Thanksgiving night, after we had left. But we had left with an inkling that Paul had heard his brother Jon talking to him. Jon had put one earphone in Paul's ear, then placed the other one in his own. He played the music he and Paul had recorded together. He was reminding Paul of how they had worked through certain parts, or how many times that he had to re-record certain sections. Paul had brought his right arm up across his chest, like he was going to play his guitar. We all looked at each other.......Wide Eyed! Minutes later, Paul's eye fluttered a bit. There was no other indication he was going to possibly come out of his coma except when we gathered around his bed to pray before we left. He yawned a very big yawn. I said I didn't think people yawned while they were in a coma. But, what did I know and maybe I was just trying to see something that wasn't there. We left and did not say anything to the nurse. She told us the next day that at 11:00 PM, she was holding Paul's hand and asked him to squeeze it and he did. She knew he was coming to, but it was too late to call us.

At 6:30 the next morning, Paul was awake and responding to the doctor who had tried to first encourage us, then guilt us, into removing the respirator and let Paul die peacefully.

I was sharing this all with Paul this morning and when I was talking about Jon, he teared up and said that was so neat what Jon had done. Then I told him how we all became his advocate to keep the doctors moving forward in saving his life. I asked him, "And wasn't that so cool how it was the doctor who said you would be a vegetable at best if you did survive, is the one who found you awake?" Paul looked at me, smiled and said, "Yeah.............way to go vegetable farmer."

Another bit of Paul's humor to start my day.

John (12:24-26)

"Amen, Amen I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will
preserve it for eternal life.
Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be.
The Father will honor whoever serves me."

May God lead us to do all we can to bring about His glory today.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Shining Through Clouds

We have noticed since Paul had his shunt put in that weather really affected the pain level of his headaches. You can predict a storm by Paul. A cloudy, rainy day often makes Paul want to go to bed and stay there. We really have to struggle to keep him moving as best as possible.

I mentioned already that I have been busy with writing a talk this week and how it helped me remember how God really helped us through. I also remembered the 2 times that those who were in the waiting room with us had prayed over Paul as he was being rolled out of ICU and down the hallway for xrays to be taken. I got the idea to sit with my hands over Paul once again and ask the Holy Spirit to bring healing.
Paul was still sleeping and I sat staring at his face which is so beautiful to me.
I prayed that he would have continued strength to deal with his pain, because it was storming outside. An hour later, I woke him and he got up, went to Mass with Michael and then went to DTSi. He came home and stayed up and worked on his computer until I got home. He even emailed me at work. When I got home, he said his computer was running too slow and would not run the CD that Richard Watson had given him. It was a CD of all the pictures Richard took while he was in Europe for about 10 days. A lot of the pictures were of the beautiful cathedrals over there.
Paul said he had been working with his computer since he got home. That is amazing since we have to 'schedule' computer time on Paul's daily activity list, so that he will spend time on it. Michael was busy with his work, so he wasn't able to direct Paul much, or walk the dog with him. But Paul kept himself busy. That is truly a first. And on a cloudy day.

Paul decided he really wanted to look at the pictures so he came downstairs and looked at them on Jon's computer. When Jon got home, he and Paul met Jerry over at Corpus Christi to spend an hour in adoration. I was able to put some finishing touches on my talk since it was so quiet around here. They also went to dinner after adoration. They figured I would not be cooking dinner tonight since I was so busy when they left. And they figured right!

My son came shining through the clouds today, graced by the Holy Spirit.

God is the giver of all good gifts;
come, let us adore!

Love,
Jon and Rebecca

Cramming for Finals

I know that I have neglected this site badly.
I have been preparing my talk for this Saturday.
I have to give my 45-60 minute "Magnificat".
How do you take a life time of God's unconditional love and goodness, mercy, faitfulness and salvation and encapsulate it into an hour? EEEKKKKK......

Paul has been riding a roller coaster with his headaches. He seems almost loupy at times and that is when we know the headache is more severe. Other days, he has been really active and wanting to challenge himself a little more. Welcome to a brain injury.
He is really looking forward to his eye doctor appointment on Monday. He wants to get his eye fixed really quickly. I know that psychologically, it will help him a lot. He needs to see something getting fixed so that he can be renewed in hope. His prayer has changed to "You know how much I want these headaches to go away, Lord. Please take them away soon." I think it is because we seem 'stalled in the water'. I am watching for the oar that God will send me. In His time. As always.

My hope and prayer is that I can get back to writing on the blog more often, as I draw so much strength from it. All the sharing that has gone on in this blog has been what 'FLOATS MY BOAT'.

I have had to delve back into the memories of last year at this time and it has been very painful for me. I thought I was doing pretty good and then as I was preparing my talk, so many of the emotions flooded over me. I have had some difficult days in this past week. As I drive, I am also so reminded of all those days we drove back and forth from Gwinnett Medical - the trees are looking the same and the weather.......A huge visual aid that has taken me back. The up side is that it has also put me in touch with all the serenity I felt back then, with the very real sense that God was holding me in His arms as he let us walk along side Jesus at Calvary for awhile.

So much spiritual growth that has happened in this past year. So much more ahead.
And I say, Praise be to God.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca