I have had 2 of the longest weeks and am hopefully getting to the point where I can find the time to sit quietly and write more often. I have found that I miss writing down my thoughts. It has been a great way to sort through where we have been and where we are heading with Paul. Rather than being 'one more thing' I have to do, I really enjoy the time spent writing on this site. It also affords me time to sit and contemplate God's full participation in our lives. So much has happened in this last year and we are only 2 weeks away from the one year mark. I have had so many flash backs to this time last year, how we were as a family last October and how we are now. A main reason for this time of reflection is that I am preparing for a talk I will be giving at a Catholic women's prayer breakfast that is sponsored by Magnificat. I trust that God will bring those he wants to it that morning. Just as He guided me to it years ago. I had seen their notices in the bulletins many times over the years, but never attended. I thought at first, it was a private gathering and not for everyone. Then a couple of years ago, a friend invited me to come and I did. It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. The woman who spoke had an incredible story of faith and I related to it so much that I invited my sister to come to the next one. She also had a great experience. I always looked forward to these Saturday mornings because I have always benefited from the stories of faith that are shared and also because it is a great opportunity to see friends and make new ones. Last year, the Magnificat breakfast was on November 12th. I was signed up to be a hostess at one of the tables. I had been a hostess a number of times before and was really excited about that one because of a well known speaker that would be talking. Also, I was going to be bringing someone with me who had never been before and I wanted her to experience the occasion with me.
But, November 11th, at 4:45 P.M. our life took a turn. At the hospital, I remember sitting in this special room we had been taken into (which I later found out was an area for privacy for families who were going to be getting bad news) and Fr. Paddy was there with us. He was offering words of comfort to us and all of a sudden I remembered I was supposed to be a hostess at the Magnificat breakfast the next morning. I panicked as I realized I had to let someone know soon so that a replacement could be called. Here I was, waiting to hear if my son would live and I was really concerned that someone be told I would not be there. Those around me said not to worry about it, and probably thought silently that it was a weird time to be worrying about it! But Magnificat was important to me and I wanted to make sure that someone would be there to take my place. So I called my friend Patty Palmquist one more time (I had called her right after the accident to ask her to start praying for Paul and our family, knowing she would get the word out to a number of other people who would also pray). She said she would take care of it for me. The next night, a woman I knew and who is part of the Magnificat program, came to the hospital with a bottle of holy water from Lourdes for us to use in blessing Paul. It was the beginning of many such gifts from so many loving and caring people. (Paul's room became a very holy place - there were relics of St. Therese, St. Pio, St. Paul the Apostle, and St. Faustina, along with medals that had been blessed by Pope John Paul II, and the zachetto worn by him at a Mass on December 22, 1996, which Paul wore during a Mass that was celebrated in his room by Fr. Kevin Peek. The outpouring of holy articles and sacramentals was tremendous.) Anyway....we found out that the women at the Magnificat breakfast prayed for Paul also. Then, this past summer, I received an email from Janine, who was the woman who brought the Lourdes holy water to us in the hospital. It was an email sent to a number of people and I was on the distribution list. It was funny that I got that email when I did, because I had just read a few days before that the date for November's Magnificat breakfast was going to be 11/11. I made a mental note that I would not miss that one, so I could give thanks to God for the past year's blessings. Plus, I knew the day might be a tough one emotionally, so I wanted to be with women, in prayerfulness and singing songs of praise. There are only 4 Magnificat breakfasts each year and to have one on the anniversary of Paul's accident got my attention. I answered Janine's email to ask her how she was doing, as I had not been in touch with her in so long. As I was typing to her, the thought came into my mind "Ask her if they need someone to speak on 11/11". It was just a very quick thought that flashed in my mind. I stopped for a moment and said to myself "Absolutely not." I have never been a speaker, have the worst case of nerves when speaking to people I don't know and this was so weird an idea. But it came back to me again and I sat thinking about why this would come to mind. The speakers that I have heard over the years have had huge faith stories and seem to be fairly well known. There have even been priests who have spoken and have incredible stories about their vocations. Again, I decided to ignore so weird a thought. I got ready to send my email to her and was stopped with the rememberance of the night about 6 days after Paul's accident. I was about to go to sleep and I clearly realized that all that was happening to our family was just a part of God's beautiful story. He was reaching so many people through this event and there were so many signs of His hand at work. We were being asked to trust Him and to let His will be done. So, I sat there wondering if He was really asking me to volunteer to tell His story. My hands began to shake with nervousness at the thought of even sending such an email. It was just too bold a thing for me to do. I prefer 'flying under the radar' in life. Even writing this blog was a very tough thing to do once I found out people we didn't know were reading it! So, I said to myself "Why be so nervous - there is no way anyone would take this offer seriously anyway. Send the email in case it is God putting this idea into your head and forget about it. If they think you are crazy - well, what's new?" So I sent a message basically saying that if this might be a story that would be useful, let me know. A number of weeks passed and I had actually forgotten that I had sent the suggestion. I got to work one day and opened my email and was shocked to read that someone would be calling me to discuss it with me! I immediately walked down to my sister's desk (we are so blessed to be able to work together!) and was literally shaking as I told her what might happen. She sent an email out letting the whole family know and telling them her house was open for visitors!
So, I have been busy praying for God to help me write down what is to be heard by those attending that morning and have been hard at work reviewing this blog and organizing my thoughts. And after this past year's lesson in learning how to let go and let God's will be done, I am just about ready for 11/11.
Paul is going to his personal trainer and likes it. Rhonda is so very kind to Paul and with the personal attention, Paul has seen that it is not just more 'rehab' where everyone assumes he is not very smart. He is now very sensitive about that. When I mentioned that maybe we should find a place where they can help him fill in all the gaps mentally and intellectually, like a school for those recovering from brain injuries, he got very defensive and said that he doesn't need someone asking him if he knows if the circle is red or blue. I tried to explain that there are times when he doesn't remember what the meaning of words are and we were thinking that there are going to be gaps in all that he learned over the years and maybe if there is a place that works closely with brain injured people, they could assess more quickly what his needs would be on a number of levels. He was not agreeable to that at all. We have noticed that if something seems too large a topic, he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. Physically he is improving. He is now 152 pounds and with his weekly sessions doing physical endurance workouts, he should progress more effectively. But psychologically, we have some work ahead of us. He is capable of learning anything and remembers so much of his life before the accident. But there seems to be a glitch in his perception of what he should be doing. On one level he believes he is still an invalid and says that "when I get better I will try to do that." We tell him he is better and he makes a list of the things that are not better and therefore he has to wait to try things. We are wondering if some of the issues of his headaches aren't psychological in nature. When he is doing things that are of high importance to him, he seems to forget that his head hurts. I have no doubt that he does suffer from severe headaches and it is very obvious when he is stricken with the intense ones. But it is very hard to assess if he has more mild ones in between the severe ones, or if he sometimes uses it as a way of not facing the responsibilities of the day. We are constantly plagued with wondering who to see next and what exactly are all the lingering problems. I wish there was a place where we could find answers and guidance. Please keep praying that we will have the wisdom to make solid decisions and that we will find answers. We need God's help steering this ship. Right now it feels like we are having to turn our battleship with an oar.
Christ be the Wind In Our Sails!
Love
Jon and Rebecca
Friday, October 27, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
And We'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun............
Hello there, this is Marie, Paul’s favorite sister-in-law. We are heading back from spending a long weekend with the fam, where we re-celebrated Paul’s birthday, met the wonderful Huffords, saw Ron Ayler’s (next door neighbor) new car, competed in pumpkin carving contest, ate, laughed and watched almost two seasons of The Office. It was a great weekend, Paul is such a wonderful guy, and looking good with his curly hair all grown back, stylin velour pants, and a few other choice outfits that you can see in the pictures below. Friday we took Paul clothes shopping for his birthday present, because since the accident, his wardrobe as been slowly absorbed into his brother’s’ closets. We also went with him to the appointment with his personal trainer. Paul is lifting weights! Saturday we had a big family dinner, and a pumpkin carving contest. The judges of the contest were Jerry’s parents, Frank and Judy Hufford. The Huffords are active, loyal West Virginia football fans. This is important to know because one of the teams in the carving contest played to the judges and carved the WV team logo into their pumpkin. Obviously, they won first place. The rest of the carvings you can see below...it was quite fun. Sunday we attended Mass at Father Jack Durkin’s parish, Saint Monica’s. Incidentally, this is the parish where my sister Anne works. Father Jack concelebrated our wedding Mass in January, and is a close friend of Jon’s, so we were able to briefly catch up, and also see the place where Anne works! The weekend was spent relaxing, eating a lot of ice cream, and just being together with family. There are not many more details of the weekend, nothing spectacular happened. But the joy of being with family, the love that is shared, the laughter and hugs that are over abundantly present when one is around family can’t be topped.
I did forget one incident....the poker games. Those of you who knew Paul before the accident, or ever spent time at Casa de Fidero were probably involved in at least one round of Hold’em. We played poker throughout the whole weekend, and it was just like old times. Paul was right back to himself, dealing out cards, calling all the shots, quite the pro.
__________________________________________________________________________
As a side note (from Rebecca), I have to say it was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my family. Jon and Marie took us to the natural foods grocery store they found the last time they were here. They gave us a crash course on healthier eating. Due to our extremely busy schedules, we have slipped into the eat and run mode and have the worst eating habits! Paul is up to 151 pounds, but his eating habits are not healthy ones. So Marie and Jon did almost all the cooking and showed us some fast and easy ways to improve our habits. And.......while we ate ice-cream, it was completely organic ingredients with non refined sugar, no additives, hormones, or antibiotics added to the dairy products. Jon and Marie were a delight to have around, as their enthusiasm and love for one another are contagious. Jon and I have decided we will try to do more cooking together so we can gain some much needed time together. It is a perfect way to accomplish a needed task and also share our day's events. We all spent most of the weekend sitting in the kitchen and helping get the meals ready. It was an awesome reminder of the beauty of family and friends simply gathered around, sharing laughter and love.
The pumpkin carving contest was just hilarious. Each team had a room to work in and Judy and Frank walked around and took pictures. Once we all caught a glimpse of Mike and Anne's pumpkin, with the West Virginia logo - the easiest pattern ever - we knew we had stiff competition. Frank loves that college football team and we all knew where his one vote would be cast. Our attention was caught when Mike went out to the garage and turned on the air compressor and had us all curious as to why he needed that. He used it to clean out the pumpkin and to finish with his etching of the W V, since they didn't actually cut all the way through the pumpkin. The candlelight behind the etching was terrific! Jon's immediate concern was where all that pumpkin mess went as Mike was 'blow torching' it!
When Jon and Marie left Monday morning, Paul and I said a decade of the rosary before we left for the day. Paul very softly asked God to bless his brother with these words, "And please bless my brother Johnny, who I love so much and also need so much more than ever. Keep him and Marie, who I also love, safe." And He did. Praise be to God.
May the Spirit of the Lord renew your hearts today,
Love,
The Fidero Family
(The pictures are posted in 3 separate postings below)
I did forget one incident....the poker games. Those of you who knew Paul before the accident, or ever spent time at Casa de Fidero were probably involved in at least one round of Hold’em. We played poker throughout the whole weekend, and it was just like old times. Paul was right back to himself, dealing out cards, calling all the shots, quite the pro.
__________________________________________________________________________
As a side note (from Rebecca), I have to say it was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with my family. Jon and Marie took us to the natural foods grocery store they found the last time they were here. They gave us a crash course on healthier eating. Due to our extremely busy schedules, we have slipped into the eat and run mode and have the worst eating habits! Paul is up to 151 pounds, but his eating habits are not healthy ones. So Marie and Jon did almost all the cooking and showed us some fast and easy ways to improve our habits. And.......while we ate ice-cream, it was completely organic ingredients with non refined sugar, no additives, hormones, or antibiotics added to the dairy products. Jon and Marie were a delight to have around, as their enthusiasm and love for one another are contagious. Jon and I have decided we will try to do more cooking together so we can gain some much needed time together. It is a perfect way to accomplish a needed task and also share our day's events. We all spent most of the weekend sitting in the kitchen and helping get the meals ready. It was an awesome reminder of the beauty of family and friends simply gathered around, sharing laughter and love.
The pumpkin carving contest was just hilarious. Each team had a room to work in and Judy and Frank walked around and took pictures. Once we all caught a glimpse of Mike and Anne's pumpkin, with the West Virginia logo - the easiest pattern ever - we knew we had stiff competition. Frank loves that college football team and we all knew where his one vote would be cast. Our attention was caught when Mike went out to the garage and turned on the air compressor and had us all curious as to why he needed that. He used it to clean out the pumpkin and to finish with his etching of the W V, since they didn't actually cut all the way through the pumpkin. The candlelight behind the etching was terrific! Jon's immediate concern was where all that pumpkin mess went as Mike was 'blow torching' it!
When Jon and Marie left Monday morning, Paul and I said a decade of the rosary before we left for the day. Paul very softly asked God to bless his brother with these words, "And please bless my brother Johnny, who I love so much and also need so much more than ever. Keep him and Marie, who I also love, safe." And He did. Praise be to God.
May the Spirit of the Lord renew your hearts today,
Love,
The Fidero Family
(The pictures are posted in 3 separate postings below)
Weekend Fun
After Mass with Fr. Jack at St. Monica's
Judy and Frank Hufford (Judy stays with Paul on Tues, Thurs) They were judges for the pumpkin carving contest
Playing Texas Holdem with Paul, the expert!
Shopping Day
John and Marie getting ready to carve
Anne and Mike (winners with the West Virginia Logo)
Marie working on "Our Lady of Guadalupe" carving
from left - Sun Face, Our lady of Guadalupe, West Virginia Logo, Cross/Fish Symbol (Paul and Jerry's design)
John & Paul in their new T-shirts "Batman & Robin say, The Buddy System Works"
Marie, John, Paul & Anne
Getting Paul acquainted with a more organic diet!
Paul parking the car
Definitely a 'new look'
Some More Pictures
John and Marie finally get to meet Jerry
Brendan Hanrahan, Paul and Anne
Paul's birthday present from Jerry - his first walk alone walking Abby
Jerry and Paul dressed for Mass
Paul showing Anne a few things he remembered on his guitar. He doesn't play very often.
Paul hugs Connie, next door neighbor, while Ron replaces the car battery
Monday, October 16, 2006
Oh Happy Day!
( I will add in the text below pictures later - it took an act of Congress to get these posted! I had to open 3 different blogs to get all this on. There are a few more pictures that I will add later also, to include pictures taken today.)
Justin (Paul's friend from DTSi) and his wife and new baby daughter.
Paul giving his speech
Gabriel and his younger brother. Gabriel is 19 and is recovering from his car accident 16 months ago. He is back in school at GSU!
Paul, Nancy Crews and her daughter, Katherine. They brought dinners to us and also helped us with information about government agencies that provide assistance to disabled people.
Justin (Paul's friend from DTSi) and his wife and new baby daughter.
Paul giving his speech 
Gabriel and his younger brother. Gabriel is 19 and is recovering from his car accident 16 months ago. He is back in school at GSU!
Paul, Nancy Crews and her daughter, Katherine. They brought dinners to us and also helped us with information about government agencies that provide assistance to disabled people.
Oh Happy Day, Part !!
Rick and Susanna Rose and their new son Micah. (Paul told Rick they would have to pay a fee for using his name for their baby.) 
Paul, Aunt Kelly and Abigail
Joe and Juanita Altschuler with Paul after his speech. 
Rick Sakaske - He kept the serving tables filled with food from the kitchen, along with Jerry, Patty Palmquist, Helen Enos and Anne Hennessy. 
Paul did not know Abigail was going to be there and was very surprised to see her when she walked up to him right after the party started. 
Paul and Jonathan Tarantino.
Nathan Rose and Paul
Paul, Anne Hennessy and Jerry.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Speech! Speech!
As you can see from the pictures, we had a wonderful thank you/birthday party on Saturday. It was absolutely terrific to see Paul's friends again and watch him enjoy himself among them. He woke early and we got ready for Mass. Afterwards, he came back to the house to get some breakfast while we set up the Fellowship Hall for the party. Everyone started to arrive around 12:10 and Paul did a good job of greeting just about everyone. He would see someone he knew and would go hug them and thank them for coming. At around 2:00, Paul came to the front of the room and we got everyone's attention so that he could read his speech that he had been working on the week before the party. He began by jokingly stating he would start out by asking for a donation. There was a burst of laughter and he enjoyed that alot. Then he started his speech. ( I have typed it exactly as he had it typed on his sheet.)
"Hi Everyone!" (Everyone responded back, "Hi Paul!") He smiled back at them.
I want to thank you all very much for taking the time to come out to this event today.
It is amazing how much everyone has done for me and still does for me every day.
It is obvious that the prayers to God have helped me so much. God has given me vision back in my eye, which initially the doctors examined and found to be blind. Later, the eye was only half blind. With more of God's help, my left eye was brought back completely to 20/20 vision. (Everyone clapped at this statement.)It is amazing what God can and does do.
We all know how much God can and does do, but my friends and family and St. Stephen's community have done an incredible amount for me as well. We have had meals cooked for us, people have prayed for us unceasingly, people have helped me with my walking and balance and have driven me everywhere I needed to go.
An incredible thing to me personally are the Masses that have been said for me. I've been a Chrisitan my entire life, but since the accident I have realized that I needed to focus on God a lot more.
As you can see, I am standing here talking to you. My eye has been restroed to 20/20 vison. I can still move all my limbs, and my heavenly Father has kept me alive!!! God has blessed me so incredible and I pray for God to bless each one of you."
He looked up and just smiled at everyone and they all clapped. He said "Thank you" and walked back to his table. A few minutes later, we brought him back so we could all sing Happy Birthday to him. He will be 22 on Monday. We decided on this date for the party so that we would could not only thank everyone for helping us get him to this birthday, but to celebrate his life. We didn't want to celebrate the accident date! So after his 11/11 accident, we celebrated his 22 birthday in the 11th month of recovery!
It was an incredible day. The weather could not have been more wonderful and Paul could not have felt better. We kept waiting for him to let us know he was done and needed to go to the car and lay down or even leave. But he didn't. He even skipped taking Tylenol until 2 hours later than usual. He held his own the whole time. We were so busy greeting and thanking people for all they have done that Paul had to fend for himself. He was walking around and talking to just about everyone. He got his food and ate, and now that he has set his alarm on his cell phone, he went to Jerry when it was time to take his 2 PM medicines. He went out to the car and told Jerry he wanted to sit out there for a few moments where it was quiet. Then after about 15 - 20 minutes, he went back in. He left church at about 3:15, as we had to stay and clean everything up. When we got home he got up when he heard us. He took another 15 minute rest around 6 PM. A friend he hasn't seen since Christmas, Jason, came to our house and Paul was really glad to see him. Jerry, Paul and Jason went out to get something to eat at about 7:30 PM and didn't get home until 10:15. This is the first time Paul had put in all those hours. He was a real trooper. God had to have blessed him, as we have not seen Paul so animated and show that kind of endurance! One of the big surprises of the day was when his Aunt Kelly and her daughter Abigail (7 yrs old) arrived from Chicago. They drove down Friday/Saturday and arived right after the party got started. Paul was very surprised and scooped Abigail up into his arms and hugged her. He used to go to Chicago fairly often to visit his dog Abby when she lived with my brother and sister in law. He became very attached to their children, Griffin and Abigail. Abigail has called a couple of times since the accident and has left voice messages on our recorder. We have saved them and will listen to them every once in awhile. Each time we smile as we listen to her tender messages for Paul.
I am still in awe of how terrific the day went. God's amazing hand at work again in our lives. Paul is so correct when he said "We all know how much God can and does do."
We have received word that the doctor in Charlotte NC will see Paul. It will be November 21st, at 3:45 PM. That will work out great for us as Jon and Marie were coming for Thanksgiving and they are now going to meet us in Charlotte and we will stay there overnight and then drive into Atlanta the next day. That will help them break up their 9 hour drive into 2 easy days. Hopefully this neurosurgeon will have some idea why the ventricles are still so large. One question we still have is whether the enlarged ventricles are causing his headaches or post traumatic headaches.
We met with the personal trainer last Wednesday. It is a really wonderful arrangement and we look so forward to Paul getting started. We have to wait to get the approval from Paul's doctor saying he is fully capable to start a training program. He will have workouts on Wednesday afternoons. The personal trainer will work on endurance and flexibility first. Paul is still somewhat stiff in his movements. We have to get a letter from either the rehab therapists or his neurosurgeon stating Paul is allowed to start this type of training.
Monday, October 16
Paul got up this morning and it is a gray day. I asked him if he wanted to wear his new dress shirt for Mass and he said, "No, too much gray. Gray pants, gray shirt and gray day." Jerry took the day off as a surprise for Paul's birthday so that he wouldn't have a typical Monday.
Of course, this can't be a typical Monday. We are celebrating a birthday that was not supposed to happen, except by the grace of God. Praise His Holy Name.
With great thanksgiving to all of you,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
"Hi Everyone!" (Everyone responded back, "Hi Paul!") He smiled back at them.
I want to thank you all very much for taking the time to come out to this event today.
It is amazing how much everyone has done for me and still does for me every day.
It is obvious that the prayers to God have helped me so much. God has given me vision back in my eye, which initially the doctors examined and found to be blind. Later, the eye was only half blind. With more of God's help, my left eye was brought back completely to 20/20 vision. (Everyone clapped at this statement.)It is amazing what God can and does do.
We all know how much God can and does do, but my friends and family and St. Stephen's community have done an incredible amount for me as well. We have had meals cooked for us, people have prayed for us unceasingly, people have helped me with my walking and balance and have driven me everywhere I needed to go.
An incredible thing to me personally are the Masses that have been said for me. I've been a Chrisitan my entire life, but since the accident I have realized that I needed to focus on God a lot more.
As you can see, I am standing here talking to you. My eye has been restroed to 20/20 vison. I can still move all my limbs, and my heavenly Father has kept me alive!!! God has blessed me so incredible and I pray for God to bless each one of you."
He looked up and just smiled at everyone and they all clapped. He said "Thank you" and walked back to his table. A few minutes later, we brought him back so we could all sing Happy Birthday to him. He will be 22 on Monday. We decided on this date for the party so that we would could not only thank everyone for helping us get him to this birthday, but to celebrate his life. We didn't want to celebrate the accident date! So after his 11/11 accident, we celebrated his 22 birthday in the 11th month of recovery!
It was an incredible day. The weather could not have been more wonderful and Paul could not have felt better. We kept waiting for him to let us know he was done and needed to go to the car and lay down or even leave. But he didn't. He even skipped taking Tylenol until 2 hours later than usual. He held his own the whole time. We were so busy greeting and thanking people for all they have done that Paul had to fend for himself. He was walking around and talking to just about everyone. He got his food and ate, and now that he has set his alarm on his cell phone, he went to Jerry when it was time to take his 2 PM medicines. He went out to the car and told Jerry he wanted to sit out there for a few moments where it was quiet. Then after about 15 - 20 minutes, he went back in. He left church at about 3:15, as we had to stay and clean everything up. When we got home he got up when he heard us. He took another 15 minute rest around 6 PM. A friend he hasn't seen since Christmas, Jason, came to our house and Paul was really glad to see him. Jerry, Paul and Jason went out to get something to eat at about 7:30 PM and didn't get home until 10:15. This is the first time Paul had put in all those hours. He was a real trooper. God had to have blessed him, as we have not seen Paul so animated and show that kind of endurance! One of the big surprises of the day was when his Aunt Kelly and her daughter Abigail (7 yrs old) arrived from Chicago. They drove down Friday/Saturday and arived right after the party got started. Paul was very surprised and scooped Abigail up into his arms and hugged her. He used to go to Chicago fairly often to visit his dog Abby when she lived with my brother and sister in law. He became very attached to their children, Griffin and Abigail. Abigail has called a couple of times since the accident and has left voice messages on our recorder. We have saved them and will listen to them every once in awhile. Each time we smile as we listen to her tender messages for Paul.
I am still in awe of how terrific the day went. God's amazing hand at work again in our lives. Paul is so correct when he said "We all know how much God can and does do."
We have received word that the doctor in Charlotte NC will see Paul. It will be November 21st, at 3:45 PM. That will work out great for us as Jon and Marie were coming for Thanksgiving and they are now going to meet us in Charlotte and we will stay there overnight and then drive into Atlanta the next day. That will help them break up their 9 hour drive into 2 easy days. Hopefully this neurosurgeon will have some idea why the ventricles are still so large. One question we still have is whether the enlarged ventricles are causing his headaches or post traumatic headaches.
We met with the personal trainer last Wednesday. It is a really wonderful arrangement and we look so forward to Paul getting started. We have to wait to get the approval from Paul's doctor saying he is fully capable to start a training program. He will have workouts on Wednesday afternoons. The personal trainer will work on endurance and flexibility first. Paul is still somewhat stiff in his movements. We have to get a letter from either the rehab therapists or his neurosurgeon stating Paul is allowed to start this type of training.
Monday, October 16
Paul got up this morning and it is a gray day. I asked him if he wanted to wear his new dress shirt for Mass and he said, "No, too much gray. Gray pants, gray shirt and gray day." Jerry took the day off as a surprise for Paul's birthday so that he wouldn't have a typical Monday.
Of course, this can't be a typical Monday. We are celebrating a birthday that was not supposed to happen, except by the grace of God. Praise His Holy Name.
With great thanksgiving to all of you,
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Where in the World is.......
I had a great aunt who lived in an assisted living home and I would go see her as often as I could when I first moved to San Diego. She was my great grandmother's sister and I loved them both so dearly. I would go see my aunt fairly often. When Jon asked me to marry him, my parents asked that the wedding be in Louisiana, since that is where all my family lived. I got so busy with the wedding plans and was not able to get out to my great aunt for over a month. She lived about an hour and 1/2 away from me. I felt so bad about it and so one day, decided to make a really quick trip out there and as I came into the dining room, she saw me right away. (Now mind you, she was about 5 foot and 88 lbs.) Well her face lit up and she smiled so big. Then, with the loudest voice she could muster, she called out to me, " BECKY!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Everyone turned to look. I was so shocked that she could talk that loud and immediately felt guilty for not coming sooner, as she had no family left. Well,this morning I realized that I had not posted anything on the blog due to getting ready for the luncheon today and having one of the busiest work weeks in my life. (Of course it never fails - plan an event and everything else in your life flares up!) I know we have made you wait longer than ever for a blog to be posted. I have never had such a busy week as this one. I don't want anyone to think that there is something really wrong and the motto we live by is......NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.
I have some good news to post and will, but right now we are gathering everything needed for the Thank You party and before Jon catches me doing this while he is still working, I just wanted to let you know I will post pictures and all that has happened this past week later on this evening.
God bless you all and we look so forward to seeing as many of you that can come as possible!
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
I have some good news to post and will, but right now we are gathering everything needed for the Thank You party and before Jon catches me doing this while he is still working, I just wanted to let you know I will post pictures and all that has happened this past week later on this evening.
God bless you all and we look so forward to seeing as many of you that can come as possible!
Peace in Christ,
Jon and Rebecca
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Can You Hear Me Now?
Sunday October 8
We have seen an upswing in the hours Paul spends up and active each day. He doesn't give quite as long a battle about getting up each day and is now a lot more self sufficient than ever. He gets up and gets his clothes ready, showers, gets dressed and comes downstairs ready to go each day. We are arriving on time a little more often now that he can handle so many things by himself. On Friday morning, he actually chose to wear his suit to morning Mass. Jerry came to pick him up and wasn't wearing a tie, which he normally does. Since Paul had his suit on he looked at Jerry and asked him if he would like to borrow a tie. It was pretty funny seeing Paul going through the ties and picking one out for Jerry. He is also starting to style his hair when he combs it! He has asked about some clothes he used to wear and now remembers. We packed up some of his clothes because he was wearing mostly sweat pants last Winter/ Spring. He now is wearing only the clothes he had before the accident. He found a couple of his shirts on Michael's side of the closet and remembered to make a comment about it to Michael when he saw him after school. Sorry Michael - once a little brother - always a litte brother! Some things won't change.
There is one very memorable moment from the past few days. I have shared it with a number of people because it was another example of how Paul may not have use of one of his eyes and one of his ears, but spiritually, he sees and hears more than most people! I woke him up one morning and he asked immediately for Tylenol. Usually he tries to wait until he gets closer to the time we leave the house. It meant it would not be as good a day for him. I silently prayed to Jesus and asked that if it were God's will, to please let him have some relief from the pain. I had just finished my prayer and Paul said out loud, "Blessed Mother, with your beautiful voice, please ask Jesus if he could help me with this pain today. Thank you for your prayers." I asked Paul if he knew what Blessed Mother's voice sounded like. I asked this because as he said his prayer, I flashed back to the first few days in the hospital, remembering the fact that I had asked our Blessed Mother to please hold Paul in her arms and take care of him since we could not hold him. We have all figured that he had some connection with heaven during that time, since he has changed so much spiritually since then. Paul said he has heard her. I asked what she sounded like and he said that he hears her not like he hears me talking to him, but there are times when he just knows that it is her communicating with him. I said that I wished I could hear her. He looked straight into my eyes and said very seriously, "Everyone can hear Blessed Mary speak. They just don't realize it."
I have dwelled on that very direct and simple statement for days. Then today, the Gospel reading was from Mark, 10: 13-16. "And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Jon and I have talked before about how Paul is like a child in his love of God. He trusts in God completely for his recovery and relates his pain with the sufferings of Jesus. On Friday night he and Jerry went over to church to walk the 14 Stations of the Cross. Jerry said that Paul had almost cried 2 different times as he read the words of each station.
Last Thursday I had to work late. I was rushed and upset to find out that Jon too had worked late, so there was no dinner started and it was alreday 7 P.M. We were both a bit edgy and so Jerry took Paul to get something to eat. After they left, Jon told me that his company is looking at his unit to see what jobs can be eliminated. We've been in this position before and my normal reaction to that would have been instant panic. But I remembered how Paul will just stop what he is doing and will pray for help whenever it is needed. So I took Jon's hand and immediately we prayed for God to help us during this time and to protect us from a job loss, as the insurance for the family is through Jon's job. I was at peace, knowing that God will help us provide and that God knows our needs. We then went and got something to eat. When Paul got home, I hugged him and thanked him for his example of trusting in God. We had followed his lead of the 3 P's. Pause, Pray, Proceed. He smiled and said he liked that phrase. That night, he and I were still wide awake, so we said a rosary for a number of intentions and by the end of it, I finally felt very tired and was able to sleep well.
Saturday morning Paul shocked us with the request of joining Jon and me at perpetual adoration at 5 A.M. He heard us getting ready and he got up at 4:30 and got dressed. I reminded him it would be an hour and he said he really wanted to go. He took some Tylenol and we headed out. Paul led us in saying the rosary and he also took the time to explain how we should pray the Hail Mary. He said that we needed to pray more slowly and to pause before the name Jesus, and pause after it. His name should be set apart. When we finished, he said that when we say the prayer to St. Michael the archangel, we would not be pausing after saying 'satan' as most people do. He said we should never acknowledge satan that way. Jon and I smiled at each other. We had just received another lesson in Praying 101, from our son who can now see and hear so much better than before!
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God
has ready for those who love Him; Spirit of love
come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the
wisdom of God."
Peace to you in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
We have seen an upswing in the hours Paul spends up and active each day. He doesn't give quite as long a battle about getting up each day and is now a lot more self sufficient than ever. He gets up and gets his clothes ready, showers, gets dressed and comes downstairs ready to go each day. We are arriving on time a little more often now that he can handle so many things by himself. On Friday morning, he actually chose to wear his suit to morning Mass. Jerry came to pick him up and wasn't wearing a tie, which he normally does. Since Paul had his suit on he looked at Jerry and asked him if he would like to borrow a tie. It was pretty funny seeing Paul going through the ties and picking one out for Jerry. He is also starting to style his hair when he combs it! He has asked about some clothes he used to wear and now remembers. We packed up some of his clothes because he was wearing mostly sweat pants last Winter/ Spring. He now is wearing only the clothes he had before the accident. He found a couple of his shirts on Michael's side of the closet and remembered to make a comment about it to Michael when he saw him after school. Sorry Michael - once a little brother - always a litte brother! Some things won't change.
There is one very memorable moment from the past few days. I have shared it with a number of people because it was another example of how Paul may not have use of one of his eyes and one of his ears, but spiritually, he sees and hears more than most people! I woke him up one morning and he asked immediately for Tylenol. Usually he tries to wait until he gets closer to the time we leave the house. It meant it would not be as good a day for him. I silently prayed to Jesus and asked that if it were God's will, to please let him have some relief from the pain. I had just finished my prayer and Paul said out loud, "Blessed Mother, with your beautiful voice, please ask Jesus if he could help me with this pain today. Thank you for your prayers." I asked Paul if he knew what Blessed Mother's voice sounded like. I asked this because as he said his prayer, I flashed back to the first few days in the hospital, remembering the fact that I had asked our Blessed Mother to please hold Paul in her arms and take care of him since we could not hold him. We have all figured that he had some connection with heaven during that time, since he has changed so much spiritually since then. Paul said he has heard her. I asked what she sounded like and he said that he hears her not like he hears me talking to him, but there are times when he just knows that it is her communicating with him. I said that I wished I could hear her. He looked straight into my eyes and said very seriously, "Everyone can hear Blessed Mary speak. They just don't realize it."
I have dwelled on that very direct and simple statement for days. Then today, the Gospel reading was from Mark, 10: 13-16. "And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Jon and I have talked before about how Paul is like a child in his love of God. He trusts in God completely for his recovery and relates his pain with the sufferings of Jesus. On Friday night he and Jerry went over to church to walk the 14 Stations of the Cross. Jerry said that Paul had almost cried 2 different times as he read the words of each station.
Last Thursday I had to work late. I was rushed and upset to find out that Jon too had worked late, so there was no dinner started and it was alreday 7 P.M. We were both a bit edgy and so Jerry took Paul to get something to eat. After they left, Jon told me that his company is looking at his unit to see what jobs can be eliminated. We've been in this position before and my normal reaction to that would have been instant panic. But I remembered how Paul will just stop what he is doing and will pray for help whenever it is needed. So I took Jon's hand and immediately we prayed for God to help us during this time and to protect us from a job loss, as the insurance for the family is through Jon's job. I was at peace, knowing that God will help us provide and that God knows our needs. We then went and got something to eat. When Paul got home, I hugged him and thanked him for his example of trusting in God. We had followed his lead of the 3 P's. Pause, Pray, Proceed. He smiled and said he liked that phrase. That night, he and I were still wide awake, so we said a rosary for a number of intentions and by the end of it, I finally felt very tired and was able to sleep well.
Saturday morning Paul shocked us with the request of joining Jon and me at perpetual adoration at 5 A.M. He heard us getting ready and he got up at 4:30 and got dressed. I reminded him it would be an hour and he said he really wanted to go. He took some Tylenol and we headed out. Paul led us in saying the rosary and he also took the time to explain how we should pray the Hail Mary. He said that we needed to pray more slowly and to pause before the name Jesus, and pause after it. His name should be set apart. When we finished, he said that when we say the prayer to St. Michael the archangel, we would not be pausing after saying 'satan' as most people do. He said we should never acknowledge satan that way. Jon and I smiled at each other. We had just received another lesson in Praying 101, from our son who can now see and hear so much better than before!
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God
has ready for those who love Him; Spirit of love
come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the
wisdom of God."
Peace to you in this day,
Jon and Rebecca
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Bringing It All Back Home
THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE;
LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD!
THE FIDERO FAMILY
INVITES YOU TO A
CELEBRATION OF
PAUL'S LIFE !
We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who
has stayed the course with us through unceasing prayerfulness
and so many acts of kindness. Please join us for lunch.
Where: St. Stephen's Catholic Church / Fellowship Hall
When: October 14, 2006
Time: 12-3 PM
RSVP: no later than October 5
rafidero@mindspring.com
or fider0@mindspring.com
We would like to celebrate all the wonderful blessings our family has been graced with in the past 11 months. So many people have helped us in so many ways and we would like to gather together this wonderful community of believers who knew Paul would find his way to recovery. We want to tell you personally what it has done for us.
Please respond only if you will be able to attend so that we can be prepared. While we have seen some miracles in this past year, we can't count on a duplication of the fish and loaves miracle! So please let us know if you are able to attend as soon as possible.
For those of you who live out of town or are not able to come, know that we pray for your intentions always. You have been listed in books of prayer, have had candles lit, rosaries said and hours of adoration spent in prayerfulness for God to hear and answer you ten fold. We offer our love and heartfelt thanks for what you have shared with our family. Your written words in the comment sections are a huge treasure to us. Paul sat for an hour today reading through the blog. It is fun to hear him laugh or comment on what he is reading. Yes indeed - this is a real treasure for our family.
Yesterday, Paul had an ear doctor appointment. They did an audiology test and it showed that Paul is basically deaf in his left ear. That did not come as a surprise, but I was hoping that through surgery he would be able to recover his hearing. There are hearing aids that he could wear that would transmit (wireless) any sound heard on his left side and it would actually seem to be normal hearing for Paul. He would experience sound as he did before. There is research occuring for the nerve regeneration in his ear, but it is some years out before that will be successful. But he is young, so that is a real possibility for him. As we left the office, he asked me if he understood the doctor correctly that he would not have hearing in his left ear. I said at this time, that is how it looks. I mentioned the hearing aids to him and he said, "No, not right now. I will just keep praying. I was supposed to be blind and God gave me 20/20 vision." I told Paul that in the meantime, the hearing aids would be helpful and we learned also that in the state of Georgia, hearing aids can be returned for full cost after one month trial. It is worth the try and we will work with the audiologist to get them ordered.
Paul has had some really good days. Today he was at work from 9 until 2 pm. That is the first time he has stayed so long. I have to be truthful here.........they said they were ordering pizza at 1:00 P.M. I believe at that point, they had Paul 'hooked on the line'. He called me and said I didn't need to come right away, he would be eating lunch at work. He had taken some Tylenol and was feeling okay, so wanted to stay. Paul has put on a good amount of weight and looks so much more healthy these days. It may be a good thing we are getting ready to work with a personal trainer! That should start in the next week or two. Also, we are very hopeful to schedule music lessons on the same day.
We have faxed the medical records (radiology reports and doctor notes from the surgeries) to the doctor in Charlotte NC. They will let us know by Friday if they feel they can be of any help to us. We are also scheduling an appointment with a Kinesiologist in the next town over. We have heard some really great things about this doctor and how he has helped people where so many other doctors have failed. He uses a more naturalistic approach. I have never been very keen on all the medicines they have prescribed for Paul. When we weaned him off of everything they had given him early on, his hands stopped shaking and he seemed to have clearer thinking processes. In my research, I found that 2 of the medicines he was on were not supposed to be taken together at all. We have moved all his prescriptions to a pharmacist that we have come to trust and have asked him to review what Paul is on and explain what each does for him. They are all medicines to block pain. Funny thing is - Tylenol works the best and Paul feels noticeable relief 15-20 minutes after taking that. He never feels any relief after taking the other pills. If he is going to end up needing medication to get rid of his headaches, these are not the ones! When I was talking to the ear doctor, she was very sympathetic about our search for the doctor who might be able to help resolve the complications of Paul's hydrocephalus. She experienced sudden hearing loss in her right ear 3 years ago after being extremely ill. She said that the world of medicine is very frustrating and that those who stay persistent are the ones who find help. She said we should not accept the answer "I don't know." She applauded our efforts and encouraged us to continue. She also confirmed that the opthamologist we just saw (which is the one I had placed a lot of trust in back in November) is known to be the kind of doctor who will go the extra mile to find answers.
I heard back from the reconstruction plastic surgeon and he feels that the orbital structure is fine and does not appear to need rebuilding. He said that if the opthamologist who does the surgery to place the left globe in the socket correctly needs his assistance, he will be happy to help in any way.
We hope to have the eye surgery done before Christmas, so will try to get it scheduled soon. The opthamologist said we should try to get confirmation that there is no CSF leak before we proceed with the eye surgery. If there is a leak in the orbital, they don't need to find that out as they begin that surgery. So - we will wait to hear from the Charlotte doctor. If he does not think he can help us, I will just get back on my knees and ask one more time for God to lead us. Hindsight is truly 20/20 - and we can SEE all the answers God has provided!
On the Feast of the Guardian Angels, Paul and I went to St. Stephen's and lit some candles to thank God for all that he has done and for all the guidance our angels provide to us. Afterwards, Paul and I walked around the parking lot a couple of time. At one point, right after I prayed out loud while looking up at the beautiful clouds, a monarch butterfly flew right in front of Paul and me! Paul and I said to each other at the same time, "Did you see that!" He knows that I have had so many experiences where butterflies appear while I am praying, or just afterwards. It has happened so often that I cannot believe it is coincidence any longer. He laughed when this one flew past our heads and I said, "See, there it is! Later, we were sitting on the picnic bench while Abby drank some water from her bowl that we brought. We were talking about Paul's headaches and he held my hand and started to pray. When we were finished, we stood up to go back to the car and a monarch butterfly flew right over our heads! Paul smiled and all I could say was, "God is too good."
While we were waiting for the ear doctor, Paul was reading the beginning pages of my prayer book. There is a special section in this month's edition that includes some of the written and spoken meditations of the saints. He found what St. Pio of Peitrelcina wrote and said as he showed me, "This is very true."
"If the soul longs for nothing else than to love its God, then don't worry and be quite sure that this soul possesses everything, that it possesses God himself."
I am learning so much from my son what God's Son came to teach us.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD!
THE FIDERO FAMILY
INVITES YOU TO A
CELEBRATION OF
PAUL'S LIFE !
We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who
has stayed the course with us through unceasing prayerfulness
and so many acts of kindness. Please join us for lunch.
Where: St. Stephen's Catholic Church / Fellowship Hall
When: October 14, 2006
Time: 12-3 PM
RSVP: no later than October 5
rafidero@mindspring.com
or fider0@mindspring.com
We would like to celebrate all the wonderful blessings our family has been graced with in the past 11 months. So many people have helped us in so many ways and we would like to gather together this wonderful community of believers who knew Paul would find his way to recovery. We want to tell you personally what it has done for us.
Please respond only if you will be able to attend so that we can be prepared. While we have seen some miracles in this past year, we can't count on a duplication of the fish and loaves miracle! So please let us know if you are able to attend as soon as possible.
For those of you who live out of town or are not able to come, know that we pray for your intentions always. You have been listed in books of prayer, have had candles lit, rosaries said and hours of adoration spent in prayerfulness for God to hear and answer you ten fold. We offer our love and heartfelt thanks for what you have shared with our family. Your written words in the comment sections are a huge treasure to us. Paul sat for an hour today reading through the blog. It is fun to hear him laugh or comment on what he is reading. Yes indeed - this is a real treasure for our family.
Yesterday, Paul had an ear doctor appointment. They did an audiology test and it showed that Paul is basically deaf in his left ear. That did not come as a surprise, but I was hoping that through surgery he would be able to recover his hearing. There are hearing aids that he could wear that would transmit (wireless) any sound heard on his left side and it would actually seem to be normal hearing for Paul. He would experience sound as he did before. There is research occuring for the nerve regeneration in his ear, but it is some years out before that will be successful. But he is young, so that is a real possibility for him. As we left the office, he asked me if he understood the doctor correctly that he would not have hearing in his left ear. I said at this time, that is how it looks. I mentioned the hearing aids to him and he said, "No, not right now. I will just keep praying. I was supposed to be blind and God gave me 20/20 vision." I told Paul that in the meantime, the hearing aids would be helpful and we learned also that in the state of Georgia, hearing aids can be returned for full cost after one month trial. It is worth the try and we will work with the audiologist to get them ordered.
Paul has had some really good days. Today he was at work from 9 until 2 pm. That is the first time he has stayed so long. I have to be truthful here.........they said they were ordering pizza at 1:00 P.M. I believe at that point, they had Paul 'hooked on the line'. He called me and said I didn't need to come right away, he would be eating lunch at work. He had taken some Tylenol and was feeling okay, so wanted to stay. Paul has put on a good amount of weight and looks so much more healthy these days. It may be a good thing we are getting ready to work with a personal trainer! That should start in the next week or two. Also, we are very hopeful to schedule music lessons on the same day.
We have faxed the medical records (radiology reports and doctor notes from the surgeries) to the doctor in Charlotte NC. They will let us know by Friday if they feel they can be of any help to us. We are also scheduling an appointment with a Kinesiologist in the next town over. We have heard some really great things about this doctor and how he has helped people where so many other doctors have failed. He uses a more naturalistic approach. I have never been very keen on all the medicines they have prescribed for Paul. When we weaned him off of everything they had given him early on, his hands stopped shaking and he seemed to have clearer thinking processes. In my research, I found that 2 of the medicines he was on were not supposed to be taken together at all. We have moved all his prescriptions to a pharmacist that we have come to trust and have asked him to review what Paul is on and explain what each does for him. They are all medicines to block pain. Funny thing is - Tylenol works the best and Paul feels noticeable relief 15-20 minutes after taking that. He never feels any relief after taking the other pills. If he is going to end up needing medication to get rid of his headaches, these are not the ones! When I was talking to the ear doctor, she was very sympathetic about our search for the doctor who might be able to help resolve the complications of Paul's hydrocephalus. She experienced sudden hearing loss in her right ear 3 years ago after being extremely ill. She said that the world of medicine is very frustrating and that those who stay persistent are the ones who find help. She said we should not accept the answer "I don't know." She applauded our efforts and encouraged us to continue. She also confirmed that the opthamologist we just saw (which is the one I had placed a lot of trust in back in November) is known to be the kind of doctor who will go the extra mile to find answers.
I heard back from the reconstruction plastic surgeon and he feels that the orbital structure is fine and does not appear to need rebuilding. He said that if the opthamologist who does the surgery to place the left globe in the socket correctly needs his assistance, he will be happy to help in any way.
We hope to have the eye surgery done before Christmas, so will try to get it scheduled soon. The opthamologist said we should try to get confirmation that there is no CSF leak before we proceed with the eye surgery. If there is a leak in the orbital, they don't need to find that out as they begin that surgery. So - we will wait to hear from the Charlotte doctor. If he does not think he can help us, I will just get back on my knees and ask one more time for God to lead us. Hindsight is truly 20/20 - and we can SEE all the answers God has provided!
On the Feast of the Guardian Angels, Paul and I went to St. Stephen's and lit some candles to thank God for all that he has done and for all the guidance our angels provide to us. Afterwards, Paul and I walked around the parking lot a couple of time. At one point, right after I prayed out loud while looking up at the beautiful clouds, a monarch butterfly flew right in front of Paul and me! Paul and I said to each other at the same time, "Did you see that!" He knows that I have had so many experiences where butterflies appear while I am praying, or just afterwards. It has happened so often that I cannot believe it is coincidence any longer. He laughed when this one flew past our heads and I said, "See, there it is! Later, we were sitting on the picnic bench while Abby drank some water from her bowl that we brought. We were talking about Paul's headaches and he held my hand and started to pray. When we were finished, we stood up to go back to the car and a monarch butterfly flew right over our heads! Paul smiled and all I could say was, "God is too good."
While we were waiting for the ear doctor, Paul was reading the beginning pages of my prayer book. There is a special section in this month's edition that includes some of the written and spoken meditations of the saints. He found what St. Pio of Peitrelcina wrote and said as he showed me, "This is very true."
"If the soul longs for nothing else than to love its God, then don't worry and be quite sure that this soul possesses everything, that it possesses God himself."
I am learning so much from my son what God's Son came to teach us.
Love,
Jon and Rebecca
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